Living Without You
Warning: Same as part one.
Disclaimer: Same goes.
Setting: Goku, Gohan, and Goten just discussed Goku’s depression in depth.
Now the story continues…
Goku woke up with the wind knocked out of him. He rubbed his eyes looking around in confusion. He had fallen out of bed he observed, according to his legs tangled in covers and all of his blood rushing to his upside down head. He crincked his neck and rubbed his back as he proceeded down the stairs to the kitchen. Goten wasn’t up, now that was a surprise. "Heh, I wonder how late it is…" Goku pondered searching for a clock.
He soon found the time on the microwave much to his dismay. "One in the morning!!!! Damn!! Of all the times to wake up, I prefer on time or late!" Goku yelled, suddenly remembering Goten was sleeping. "Oops," he mumbled going back to bed. "Darn," he said to himself as he got himself back to sleep.
Although he found it hard to find a comfortable position this time (Don’t you hate that?). He then sighed. He felt the longing and the hunger to escape the life he lived when he was awake. He didn’t want to leave the comfort of his dreams. (ala Creed, Higher)
So he suffered the aching of his heart, counting the seconds until they added up to hours. He did some thinking. Not just any thinking. All of the memories of his past played through his head. The last scene of Chi Chi’s long, hard, and loving life playing through his head in automatic rewind, nearly unbearable. (For example: The feeling when an Nsync (or any band you consider annoying) song comes on the radio and all the girls go: "Oh! They’re so dreamy!" And it makes you want to gag and shoot yourself to relieve the suffering.) Chi Chi was in every one of his hundreds of dreams. That was why he longed to go back to his slumber. But it seemed life had it’s own plans.
Life… He examined the word. To live… Go on living… That was the definition. Yeah, go on living… but for what? The kids? He loved them yes, but they had stable lives of their own. Even though their mother’s death deeply saddened them, they had many reasons to go on and be happy. He was thankful at least they were happy, but it didn’t phase his depression and wishes on bit.
"I used to even give up my life so other’s could live… I still would. But that’s natural in my blood. There’s no real meaning in things like that anymore…" Goku whispered to himself. When Chi Chi… When Chi Chi was with him, he felt he could do anything. And that was missing. So was his pride, of having a happy family to rule and watch over. So was his spirit, his smile, his appetite, his want by blood to fight, and even his sense of self control. Yeah, his damn lack of self control! All the things that meant something to him, all the things that were him, gone.
If Chi Chi were here at this moment, he thought. If she was here, I would have my mouth on her neck telling her what was wrong, she would be giving me solutions and telling me everything would be okay because she was there now. But Chi Chi isn’t here. And she never would be. Never…
He examined that word also. And he hated it. Never! Never! Never! Who made up that word!? They deserved to die in his mind at that moment. "God I loved her," he whispered sadly. His eyes closed painfully.
Loved… That word was worst of all, love-ed. As in past tense. Past. He then felt even more pain than he had counting seconds. "Loved? I didn’t used to love her, I do love her." He got mad then at himself for ever saying the word of the past.
"I wonder if she can see me… She wouldn’t like that." She didn’t like it when he was depressed because it made her depressed too. But that was when she was there too. He wished he could just teleport up there. But the heavens had been sealed off due to escapees from hell many years back.
What seemed almost frightening to him was that he didn’t cry. It was one of those unexplainable experiences were your so depressed that you can’t cry. And the need to shed tears rips a hole in your heart, but it can’t be done. That feeling almost, almost hurt more than knowing she’d never be back. But nothing could compare to that. He closed his eyes once again.
The last memory that he hadn’t gone over yet… Their first kiss. Not that kiss on the cheek she gave him the first time, his first real kiss. Their first real kiss. His hands clenched at the memory. He could feel her lips on his. It was driving him insane.
"Oh god Chi Chi, why did you leave?" he gasped through his invisible tears of knifes in his eyes. "I want to be with you. I can’t live without you." He gasped more, as if expecting an answer. But no answer came. That was it, no answer came. He had to find the answer, and he knew what that was. He had to be with her, that was the way it was meant to be.
Goten was downstairs. Gohan had slept over to comfort his little brother in need. They hadn’t started breakfast yet. They were both sitting at the table reading something. He slowly walked down the stairs.
"Dad! I was just about to wake you up, when did you get up!?" Gohan exclaimed in surprise.
"One this morning," Goku stated. They stared at him in awe.
They noticed a certain blackness in his eyes that was different than what they had seen lately. He sat down with them. He smiled. He smiled!!! They looked at him like he was a ghost.
"Dad?" Goten asked uncomfortably.
Gohan didn’t like that smile. IT was the same huge loving smile of mystery that was on his face when he said goodbye before teleporting away with Cell to his death.
"Earth is safe my sons. No more enemies, no more evil…" Goku said with a light smile now.
"Yeah…?" Gohan choked out.
"You two both have beautiful girls and wonderful lives still ahead of you," Goku said again. They nodded. "Goten, you’d like a house of your own wouldn’t you?" Goku asked.
"Yeah, uh, I guess. Why?" Goten asked oddly. Staring back at his father for an explanation.
Gohan’s expression suddenly leveled, once the information had been filtered in his heart.
Goku smiled again as he noticed Gohan’s expression. "I don’t do much in your lives anymore," Goku then said, more seriously.
"Yes, but you’re always important to us," Goten reminded as Gohan nodded silently in agreement.
"And I always will be, I hope," Goku said, looking up suddenly with large, young, and truthful eyes that made one envy the sight.
"Hope?" Goten asked.
"Yes, I’ve made a very important decision… And before I tell you, I want you to know I thought about it a lot. And that I’ll never stop watching over you. I love you guys," Goku said with his still shining eyes.
Gohan nodded in solemn agreement with his father. Goten knew deep down what his father was saying but didn’t know what to say.
"I’m going to be with Chi Chi," Goku said with a very mature face.
"But Dad to do that you’d have to be-"
Goku shushed his son from continuing with a hug. He ruffed up his son’s hair playfully one last time.
"Goten, I love you. And I want you to know I’m very proud of you. Treat your girlfriend well," Goku said in his son’s ear as he patted him on the back. Tears running down Goten’s face. Goku then pulled Gohan into a buddy-hug.
"I love you Gohan, take care of your little brother for me, even if he is a 'big boy' now." Goten laughed through his tears. "Be good to your family Gohan, and enjoy every minute of it. I’ll be watching over you both," Goku said, rubbing Gohan’s hair as well. Goku walked over to the door.
"Goodbye Dad! Say hi to mom for us!!" Goten and Gohan said as they watched their father and his figure disappear into the horizon.
Vegeta heard a tap on the window and jerked it open. "What the hell!?" Vegeta yelled looking around out the window. He then looked up to see Goku smiling down at him.
"A smile? Well look, hell has frozen over! Kakarote, you baka! What are you and your dumb smile doing here!?" Vegeta yelled up at his figure.
"I’m going to see my wife," Goku stated.
Vegeta looked at him like Freeza had just said "I’m really a girl!" Then Goku gave him the smile that Gohan had also seen. Vegeta’s jaw dropped.
"Yeah… I’ve decided I couldn’t live without her," Goku said, tilting his head a little.
Vegeta looked curiously behind him. Bulma came up from behind.
"Goodbye Son-kun," she said, hugging Vegeta’s shoulder.
"Take good care of Bulma too, Vegeta. You two have something special. I’ll miss you both. And tell Trunks I said goodbye," Goku said with a smile, turning to leave.
"Wait! Kakarote!" Vegeta said jumping out the window.
"What is it Ve-"
*BAM!!!!*
Goku fell back a little, wiping the blood off his lip.
"Sorry, had to hit you one more time," Vegeta said with his famous smirk.
"You haven’t changed a bit Vegeta. I’ll miss that dumb smirk most of all," Goku said with a cheerful smile.
"Don’t get all mushy on me now, go to your mate," Vegeta said returning to his window.
Goku nodded and disappeared again.
"Hello Piccolo," Goku said out of no where while Piccolo was drinking a bottle of water.
"Ack!" Piccolo choked as he spit water everywhere. Goku laughed. "Goku what are you doing here?" Piccolo asked.
"I’m going to my wife," he stated.
Piccolo stared into his deep eyes with question. The darkness of them… then he smiled. Piccolo was there to witness that smile also. He gasped.
"Good ol’ Piccolo." He laughed. "Please keep an extra eye on Gohan," Goku said calmly.
"As always," Piccolo replied.
"Goodbye Piccolo."
"Goodbye Goku."
Goku paid a visit to Kurillin which was near exact except instead of slugging him in the face, Kurillin tripped him as he turned to leave.
He got up wiping the dirt off his jaw. "Got me good again," Goku said with a laugh.
Juhachigou, Marron, and Kurillin then waved goodbye.
Goku teleported then to the place he and Chi Chi had met. He took in a deep breathe of fresh air. He stared at the blue sky and ran his mind over his friends
"Goodbye mina no," Goku said as a small black ball of light filled his hand. Blue and green sparkles and frays orbited it. A bright flash of light filled the sky. A blue and green aura filled earth’s sky.
Gohan put his hand on Goten’s shoulder as they watched the green and blue sunset.
Kurillin gave a thumbs up, although no one was present.
Vegeta smirked. Bulma smiled.
Piccolo smiled and watched as well.
All of earth’s people watched in awe as the sky continued to glow.