PRINCE CHARMING

Part 2

* * * * *

After school, I was out with Reece that Wednesday at the mall when we bumped into none other than Zachary Hanson – I hadn’t heard from Isaac the previous day because I thought he was busy…

So we were just walking up into the food court and there was Zac Hanson at a table with three other boys about our age. Zac threw a handful of fries over at one of his friends, I pretended I didn’t see him, I grabbed Reece’s arm and pulled her past Zac’s table, trying to get past their table without being noticed.

"Astra," Zac smirked to himself, "What a surprise to see you here."
Reece gave Zac this look of longing she would give just about any guy she set eyes on.

"Zac," I swallowed nervously.

"And who is this you’re with…" Zac stood, smirking. "She doesn’t look like she’s your age range…" he smirked devilishly.

God I was ready to slug him but Reece pushed her way in front of me, "Hi, I’m Reece," she grinned, "I’m single."

I folded my arms, feeling like I was about to murder someone, not sure if it would be Reece or Zac.

"Zac Hanson," Zac shook her hand more professionally than personally, "I’m Isaac’s brother…I guess Astra probably told you about my nineteen year old brother…" he put emphasis on nineteen as if it were more like thirty years age difference than five. I wanted to kill Zachary Hanson right then.

"Ahem," I coughed, "He’s eighteen."

"Only until the seventeenth of November," Zac smirked, he had this very knowing smirk, and his eyes had this glitter of some secret amusement about them. It’s hard to believe someone so good looking could be such a fucking asshole.

I stood with my arms folded, gripping my elbows to keep my hands from slapping him hard on the face.

"Well, anyway, I’ll let you girls go do whatever you’re gonna do. Don’t let me stop you."

"Bye," I muttered, I grabbed a hold of Reece’s wrist and hauled her out of the food court.

"Hey, I thought we were gonna get something to eat…" Reece protested.

"Not here we’re not. God I wanna smack him in the face, that arrogant little shit!" I hissed. "And you throwing yourself at him desperately…god you embarrassed me…"
"Sooo?"

Reece is so blonde, and when she sees a really cute guy she doesn’t think, she just throws herself at him. She could probably have anyone she wanted, even anyone older. She was incredibly pretty, even if she did look young.

I rolled my eyes, I could feel Zac Hanson’s eyes following us until we were out of his eyeshot, I kept praying to god he would not tell Isaac that I was fourteen years old. I don’t know how Isaac would have reacted to it, to be honest. He’d kill me.

But then I had to wonder why people would be so worried about me dating Isaac, he didn’t have bad intentions, and five years wasn’t that much of an age gap these days. There was absolutely nothing wrong with it, right? I sure didn’t think so.

After shopping, I headed home, and I went into the kitchen. Mom was cooking dinner, her hair was in a braid, she had no makeup on – I hardly ever seen my mom without makeup. Seeing mom without makeup was like seeing someone without clothes on. My mom – as I’ve said before – was not all that haggard as you would think. She’s got young eyes – they’re Prussian Blue, she has long black lashes, which accent her eyes even more. A slim, pale face, long sleek brown hair, and full pouty lips. She didn’t look much older than I did. I don’t even know her age. That’s the funny thing about mom, I don’t really know her that well. I don’t know her age, or when her birthday is…she would never tell me.

It was hard to get to know her when she could be as cold as she was.

"What’s for dinner?"

"Pasta," mom stirred a pot on the stove, looking deep in thought.

"I got an A in English today…" I trailed off, I hoped for a motherly ‘oh that’s wonderful’ and a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I didn’t get it though. I didn’t think I ever would.

"That’s good," mom said casually. I sighed. I thought about telling her about Isaac just for some fucking attention, doubt I’d get it though.

I wished she’d just pay attention to me and treat me like a daughter instead of like an obligation.

* * * * *

When Friday finally came I was as nervous as hell, for some reason I knew this was going to be it – the big question. I knew it because of how he’d been talking on Monday, and he even said he had something to ask me when he’d called me on Thursday. I headed over to his house at six thirty PM. The place was quiet, unlike the first time I had visited. When I got there, Isaac answered the door, gave a winning smile and led me inside.

"How was your day?" He asked, he took my jacket from me and hung it up, pecked my cheek and looked at me.

"It was…fine."

"Zac told me he saw you on Wednesday," Isaac admitted.

I looked at him, I wanted to talk to him about the way Zac had been treating me, but I didn’t want to give it away. If Isaac took it up with Zac about his unfairness with me, then Zac might just reveal my true age. I wasn’t sure it was a risk worth taking.

"Yeah, he…did…what’d he say?"

"You were with a friend."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Isaac smiled, "c’mon, the dining room is this way."

"Okay," I smiled.

I followed Isaac into a lavishly furnished dining room, the walls were brick red, the lighting was nice enough to set it out in a subtle way, the table was mahogany, and it was long. There were two candelabras stationed with red candles, lit, and the table was set so nicely, there was a red rose placed upon one of the plates.

"This is your seat," Isaac smiled, he pulled out the chair for me and I sat, looking down at the plate with the rose on it. It was right in front of me.

Isaac lifted the rose and brushed it against my cheek, "This is for you," He smiled and handed me it. I smiled and looked at him, felt my cheeks redden. "I’ll be right back," he promised and he headed off to where I presumed was probably the kitchen to fetch the food. I waited, sitting, looking around, the place was impersonal, really. Because the house was only rented there were no photos of the family or anything really personal around the room. I wondered about Isaac’s private family life – when I wasn’t there. I wondered if it was true what he said about his mother still kissing his forehead and wishing him a gentle goodnight, I wondered if he had always received such sweet affection from his mother. I was somewhat jealous. I wondered right then why I didn’t just run away with Isaac and have done with it. Would mom ever really care?

After the dinner – which was some cheese pasta dish which was titled something Penne – I couldn’t pronounce the other half. It was a really lovely meal, I did enjoy it, and I me and Isaac discussed the ups and downs of life, our personal lives and everything. I told him a lot of lies. Yes, deceived him. When I spoke of my friends, I lied to him and told them my friends were all around seventeen, eighteen. When he asked if I’d had many boyfriends in the past I had lied and said I’d had quite a few…somehow I’d even managed to lie about having been with some guy for six months – that had been my longest relationship I had explained to him. I knew with every lie I created I was dragging myself deeper and deeper into this mess. And I knew there would be a certain point I just couldn’t get myself out. What if I ended up lying to this guy for the rest of my life?

I realised it was hardly unlikely. Isaac was from Tulsa and I was from L.A… it wasn’t exactly ten minutes away, and long distance relationships are known to have a lot of downs. They hardly ever worked out. I felt sad when I reflected on that thought over dessert. It was a simple Jello dish, but I didn’t mind, it was sweet enough he had cooked dinner for me, and lit candles, given me a red rose.

"So…you’ve asked me a lot about my past relationships," I admitted, "but you haven’t really mentioned about any of yours…" I pointed out.

"Oh…well, there’s not much to tell," Isaac gave a slight shrug.

"Well…whatever there is to tell, tell," I suggested.

Isaac looked down into his glass of Dr. Pepper, he held onto the glass, he seemed absent for a minute. "Yasmine…" he quietly sighed and he sat up straight, "I’d been seeing her on and off for like…what, I must have been fourteen when I started liking her. I was so sure I was in love with her at one point. But every time it looked like we were going to get into something steady something happened and we had to draw back – usually it’s always my fault, what with this music thing at all," He shrugged. "So…the last time we decided to call it quits…was literally the last time," He looked away into space. "Haven’t spoken to her in two months. I doubt we’re gonna get back together again, it just kept getting…far too complicated."
"Was she your only relationship?"

"Not really. There were other girls…in between…no one really special though."
"Okay," I looked down into my glass, not sure what to make of that, he had a relationship with this other girl for four years? How can I compete with that, I wondered.

I looked at the time after we had finished talking, it was eight.

"Do you want to watch a movie with me?" He asked as he collected our dishes to take to the kitchen.

"Sure. What movie?"

"I dunno, Tay rented a few last night, they’re not due back until tomorrow – why don’t you go into the living room, and take a look, and I’ll be right with you once I quickly shove these plates in the dishwasher," he suggested.

"Okay," I agreed, and I headed into the living room and sat down on the brown leather couch, I noted the rented videos sitting on the table, and I picked them up and examined them, two I had already seen and one I had never heard of. For all I knew at that moment it could have been a pornographic film. I decided to tell Isaac that I hadn’t seen ‘The Craft’. Even though it’s a really outdated movie anyway and I don’t know anyone who HASN’T seen it.

We cuddled up on the couch and watched ‘The Craft’, he done this sweet thing which was running his fingers through my hair in the gentlest manner. I felt like this was far too good to be true, this sweet, romantic, sexy young man was treating me so good. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

He kissed my forehead, continued stroking my hair sweetly, and murmured, "Will you be my girlfriend?"

I froze…

I looked at him, I felt his eyes burn right through mines, I felt tingles in every part of my body – and I mean every part. Tingles in places tingles shouldn’t have been. And then I spoke.

"Yes."

God why didn’t I tell him right then I was only fourteen?!

God I was such an idiot.

* * * * *

When I woke up that next morning, I felt like an idiot. When he asked me to be his girlfriend I should have just said NO. I should have told him that I was only fourteen and if he’d got mad at me, well, there’d be nothing I could do but at least I would have been honest.

Oh but I felt so much for him, I was pretty sure I loved him. I wasn’t ready to lose him because I was the wrong age. I wanted a chance to be with him.

Something in the back of my mind kept telling me that the longer I wait the more chance there could be that I might lose out in the end. Eventually this was all going to come into the open and Isaac would be angry and leave me and never talk to me again. And I’d cry when that day came.

So since I knew it was going to come eventually, I decided to just have fun with my love while I could.

I looked at the vase on my nightstand where the rose Isaac had given me stood in all its glory, that beautiful blood red rose, with its satiny-velvet petals and it’s beautiful long dark green stem. I had a lovey-dovey-gooey feeling whenever I looked at it. I kept turning back to see it there as I got up and went about my morning routine.

I hadn’t made arrangements with Isaac to see him that day, so I decided that I would hang out with Karen, Kathy and Reece. I called them, and we arranged to hang out at the mall together and shop ‘til we dropped.

The mall was packed, and it was fun, Reece was her usual flirty self with any good looking guy in site, and Kathy and Karen would roll their eyes at her silly behaviour. And everything was going fine, until I spotted Isaac there, then I suddenly felt like I wanted to run and hide, he spotted me and I pretended like I didn’t see him, I grabbed Reece’s wrist and nudged her forward in front of me and Kathy and Karen followed as we headed around the corner.

"What is it?" Kathy asked.

"Isaac – he’s here…he saw me…" I stood against the wall of Burberry’s and I peered around the corner, "Oh shit, he’s coming," I whined.

"Calm down!" Karen laughed, "I wanna meet him!"

"No, you guys have gotta scram, he can’t know I hang with you guys," I whined, "You gotta go!"

"No way," Reece grinned, "We wanna meet him."

Isaac appeared around the corner, "Astra!" He grinned, "I didn’t expect to see you here," He laughed and he pulled me up into his arms and hugged me freely. He was wearing a baseball cap and a dark green T-shirt with ‘Puma’ emblazoned across the chest. We hugged, and I moved back, I noticed Taylor was with him, as well as two big guys – probably bodyguards. "Oh, you remember my brother, Taylor, right?" Isaac asked.

Taylor gave a dazzling smile in me and my friend’s directions and reached out and shook my hand again, "Nice to see you, again, Astra," he said in a sweet polite voice.

Karen, Kathy and Reece just gazed at him as if they fell in love with him right at that moment.

"Who’re your friends?" Isaac looked down at my friends, they were all so…much smaller than I was, I was fairly tall for my age.

"Oh, they’re my younger cousin’s, I promised them I’d treat them to a movie," I lied.

Karen’s mouth dropped at my lie, I glanced at her quickly, then to Isaac and gave a smile.

"Oh, aren’t you going to introduce me?" Isaac smirked a bit.

"Sure," I swore in my mind. "This is Karen-Leigh, Katherine, and Reece."

Isaac shook their hands in turn.

"Girls…" I glanced at my friends nervously, "This…is my boyfriend Isaac."

It was Reece’s turn to gape, and she shook Isaac’s hand, "wow…boyfriend," she whistled.

Isaac smiled a little, "As of last night. But don’t tell, it’s kind of…a secret. If it got out, y’know, Astra could be in a bit of bother…angry letters from fans, etc…stalkers…" he shrugged.

I spun around and looked at Isaac, "You never told me that…"

He looked at me, "Astra, I’m a celebrity, you gotta expect that stuff sometimes. But as long as we’re quiet about it, we might just get away with it."

"Oh yeah, that’s why you’re hugging me in front of hundreds of people in a mall…" I put a hand to my head, "Oh my god I don’t believe this…"

"Calm down…" he took me by the shoulders, "Nothing will happen if you just calm down."

Taylor touched my hand, "he’s right, if you just stay cool and calm and don’t stress no one will ever know…don’t worry…we’ve had girlfriends in the past and as long as they stay quiet and calm, no one ever knows," he explained.

I drew my breath and looked at Isaac.

"Please?" He asked softly.

"Okay," I nodded.

He kissed my forehead, "I’ll call you tonight."

"Okay," I nodded.

Isaac and his brother said goodbye and left, and I stood there, suddenly starting to feel funny, I had butterflies in my stomach and they weren’t the good kind, they were the kind that felt more like vultures circling in me. I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Why hadn’t he told me that before. God, why hadn’t I known about it before? Why hadn’t I checked up on what had happened to Hanson’s girlfriend’s in the past. Oh god, I felt so incredibly stupid.

"It’s okay," Kathy took a hold of my shoulder and squeezed it, "Nothing is going to happen. She glanced at Reece and Karen, "as long as you two can keep your mouths shut as well."

"We can," Karen said firmly.

"Yeah," Reece said quietly.

I hugged myself, "God, there’s gonna be a lynch mob out for me."
"Nah, not for Isaac. If you were with Taylor, maybe, but not with Isaac, he’s not as popular as the other two," Reece shrugged.

"That’s a horrible thing to say," I muttered.

"Sorry."

I went home early, leaving my friends at the mall. Mom was on the computer in the small office room she’d made herself from a spare room in the first floor of the house. I walked in, looked at her, "What are you doing?" I asked curiously, I hoped that my common interest in her might get me attention.

She continued her typing, didn’t answer me for a second, "Inputting names and addresses for this mailing list," she stated casually, she reached over and turned on her printer.

I stood there quietly, she barely seemed to register my presence at all. I felt we may as well have been miles apart.

I heard the front door opening, "Helloooo?" I heard Charlotte’s voice echo in the hallway. "Aunt Carmel? Ast???"

"Coming," I called and I headed out into the hallway.

Charlotte’s hair was tied up in a simple ponytail – simple yet I know for a fact she probably spent about half an hour putting her hair in that ponytail, getting every strand in the right place before pulling her hairtie in. I know what she’s like.

Charlotte grabbed my arm, "Gotta talk with you," she said quickly, she hauled me upstairs and we headed into my room, she closed the door.

"Tell me…just…tell me you are not dating Isaac Hanson…" Charlotte looked at me worriedly.

"I’m going out with him," I shrugged, I sat on my bed and crossed one leg over the other casually, leaned back, arms propping me up.

"Astra, he’s five years older than you..." Charlotte sat down on the stool at my dressing table, opposite where I was sitting, she looked at me, her Ice blue eyes looking right at me. Her eyes reminded me of Crystals, shimmering in the sunlight, the way the light from the window played upon her perfect features.

"Four years and nine months or something. Big deal," I shrugged.

"He’s a man, for Christ’s sake," Charlotte drew her breath, "Does your mom know?"

"No, and you can’t tell her either."

"Why not?"

"Because you can’t. Come on, Char, I mean, Isaac is an amazing person, he’s sweet, he’s caring, he treats me good. At least he actually knows I exist which is more than I can say for my mom."

Charlotte looked at me, "Your mom has had a hard life, Ast."

"What do you mean…"

"C’mon, she works like nonstop. She has to support you and herself, she has this house to pay for, plus all the bills…" Charlotte shrugged.

"That doesn’t mean she has to treat me like I don’t exist," I sighed.

I heard the doorbell ring downstairs, and I knew my mom was probably too busy to answer it, "Hold on," I said, I got up and went down and opened the door, there was no one there, I looked over both sides of the street, I didn’t see anyone in sight. However, there was a small box upon the porch floor.

I picked the box up, confused and I went inside and nudged the door with my foot to close it. The box was light.

Charlotte came down, "who was it?"

"There was no one there," I shrugged, I put the box on the sideboard in the hall.

"What’s that?"

"I don’t know…it was on the porch."

"It’s got holes in it…"

She was right, the box, had four holes on each side. I opened the unmarked box carefully.

And out tumbled a small fluffy grey kitten, with a bow around its neck and a little tag attached to the bow.

"Awwww!" Charlotte went all gooey, "that is so cute…"

I picked the kitten up carefully, and I looked at the tag, it read:

I saw this and thought of you – Isaac.

I thought back, I had mentioned once that I thought some kitten we’d seen in a window at a pet store was cute. This wasn’t exactly the same kitten, but it looked amazingly like it.

"It’s from him," I whispered, I pulled the tag off the bow and I put it in my pocket, I examined the kitten, it was a female cat, grey with dark grey stripes and a little white patch on its chest. It was the most gorgeous kitten I’d ever seen in my life. And knowing it was from Isaac just made it ten times more special.

"Who was at the door?" my mom walked out into the hallway and I looked at her, stepping back a little, holding the kitten.

"Where did that thing come from?" my mom questioned.

"It’s not a thing, it’s a kitten," I mumbled, "and it’s a present from a friend," I explained.

"You have to get rid of it…"

"No mom, please let me keep her," I whined.

"No, you’re not responsible enough, and I’m not going to be left to feed and clean up after it."

"Mom, please," I whined. "I’ll pay for its food myself from my own allowance and I’ll clean up after it and stuff…I’ll keep it in my room…"

My mom looked as if she were close to giving in.

"Aunt Carmel, c’mon, you’ve never let her have a pet before," Charlotte tried to encourage.

My mom looked thoughtful.

"Mom, please? My friend can’t keep this and I know the pet store won’t accept the kitten back now…please?"

"Fine, but it stays in your room and any mess it makes you’re clearing it up…" my mom headed back into the office.

I grinned, "Thanks, Char."

"No prob," Charlotte shrugged. "What you gonna call it?"

I looked at the kitten, "Uhm…I don’t know…I like Meesha."

"That’s cute."

"Meesha it is," I grinned and petted the kitten. The kitten just looked at us with her big curious eyes.

"I’m gonna have to go to the store for food for her…"

I paused, wondering how Isaac had found out where I lived…I hadn’t told him…

And I waited and he didn’t phone that evening, I was anxious to talk with him but I didn’t want to call him and seem like I was bugging him, Isaac was a busy man. He had a lot to do – being famous and all.

So I waited.

* * * * *

Isaac called the next day, with his excuses…

"I’m sorry I didn’t call," he promised, "I was caught up in this big scheduling deal with my brothers and my manager and my publicist, we’re scheduling for TV shows for after the albums release so…"

"Whatever," I tried to feign anger, I wanted to see how much he’d grovel.

"I’m really sorry, Astra," he sighed. "I know you have every right to be mad…believe me, I know you do, I should have called when I promised but I was busy and I’m sorry."

He sounded sincere so I let him away with it. "Okay I forgive you," I tried not to smile.

"It’s Halloween," Isaac chanted down the phone.

"Sooo?" I asked.

"I love Halloween, okay, here’s the deal," he laughed softly, I could hear he was all excitable like a little kid at Christmas. "Midnight, Parsons Cemetary, you, me, Tay, Zac, some other friends, oh, and Zac wants you to bring that girl he met at the mall with you…Reece…didn’t you say that’s your cousin?"

"Reece?" I felt myself feeling a little queasy all of a sudden.

"Yeah…she’s the blonde one right?"

"Yeah," I answered.

"Yeah, I think Zac fancies her," Isaac feigned a really good British Accent. I could have sworn for a moment he was Noel Gallagher.

I clenched my teeth, "Okay, I’ll…see what I can do…"

"I’ll call later then and confirm with you."

"Okay," I agreed. When I hung up I wondered how the hell I would get away with this. Reece would surely show me up or something, she’d ruin things, she’d end up telling Isaac I was fourteen and that would be it. It would be over, just within a flash.

I called Reece up, she agreed, we made up a plan to tell our moms we would be staying at each others houses. I told my mom I would be staying at Reece’s, she told her mom she’d be staying at my house. We knew there was probably a chance we wouldn’t be going home at all tonight. We’d probably stay out ‘til dawn. When Isaac called I arranged to meet him at the end of my street, Reece would meet me there too. And thus everything was confirmed.

Finally, Isaac drove up in a white van, he peered out as the side door opened and Taylor helped me and Reece in.

"Hey," I smiled.

The bus was full of other people, I didn’t know where to sit, I was crouching standing, holding myself up on one of the seats.

"You girls might need to sit on someone’s knee," Isaac leaned over looked at the back.

Taylor sat up straighter, "Astra, you can sit on my knees if you want," he laughed.

"Uhhh, okay," I sat on Taylor’s knee, wincing, his legs are like two wooden sticks I had to sit on, he’s so bony in the leg.

Zac was sitting, he took Reece lightly down and pulled her onto his lap, sliding his arms around her, "You’ll have to sit here," he explained.

Reece grinned and leaned back against him, I rolled my eyes and sat on Taylor’s knees, just about whining every time Isaac hit a bump on the road as his bone would jag into my ass and hurt. When we reached the parking lot near the cemetery we all piled out, and Isaac smiled and took my hand as we walked up to the cemetery gates. They were locked, but probably easy enough to slip into the space under.

It took long enough to get everyone inside, most of the guys just climbed over, me and Reece managed to slip under the gates. Once everyone was in we headed up to a grassy area near a mausoleum, it was dark but we had flashlights, someone had a couple of old paraffin lamps which set the scene nicely, the light flickered upon the old headstones around us. One of the guys lit a fire, Zac conversed with Reece, I had a feeling he was more or less flirting with her to somehow get at me. Isaac sauntered over to where I was sitting folded-legged on the grass. He sat beside me, slung his arm around me, hand on my shoulder, rubbing a little, his free hand holding a bottle of beer, he smiled at me. "Cool, huh?"

"Yeah, real creepy," I laughed.

Isaac laughed, "I vant to suck yor blooood," he feigned a Transylvanian accent and pressed his mouth against my neck playfully and nibbled lightly against my flesh.

"Ohh," I chewed my lip, "Isaac…don’t do that," I pushed him back a little.

"Sorry," He laughed, he sipped his beer.

We all spent the night talking, telling really lame ghost stories, trying to scare each other, I looked at my watch, it wasn’t even close to midnight yet.

"Something wrong?" Isaac asked softly.

"No, of course not," I smiled.

"You want a beer?"

"Well…I don’t really—"

"Here, try this…it tastes just like soda," Isaac handed me a bottle of something.

I looked at the label. "Smirnoff Ice?" I asked.

"It’s vodka," Taylor looked at me from across the other side of where the fire was, we were all sitting around the fire.

I was kind of uneasy about the thought of drinking. I had never drank before, my mom would have killed me, but then, I thought about it, I probably wouldn’t be going home tonight. I don’t know where I would go, but more than likely I would try and stay with Isaac.

Isaac sat behind me, pulling his arms encircling around me, it was chilly, but in his arms I felt warm and at ease.

Reece glanced over at me and Isaac, smirked in that oh so smug way she did, and she looked at Zac, I listened in on their conversation as I sat drinking my Smirnoff Ice – which was some mixture of Vodka and Lemon soda. It was pretty nice.

Reece smiled at Zac, "This is cool, huh?" she grinned.

Zac smirked at her, "Yeah, it is."

Reece chewed her lip in that oh so sweet way she always did when she was trying to make herself look sexy, "Kinda…romantic," she rested her head on Zac’s shoulder.

I rolled my eyes.

Isaac brushed his lips against the back of my neck and hugged me closer, I shivered and hugged his arms.

More stories were told, the stories got less tacky, and more scary, and I shrugged down into Isaac’s arms more the colder it got and the more scared I felt, I had a couple more of those Smirnoff things, my head had a pleasant swimmy feel to it, I hadn’t ever drank before. Then came the idea of playing hide and seek…

"Who wants to play hide and seek?" one of the guys, known as Jono, asked. He swilled more beer.

"Sure," Isaac smirked.

"Hide and seek?" I asked. "Aren’t we a little old for that?"

"Not really," Taylor laughed, "This will be fun. In this big cemetery."

I looked around, "You have got to be kidding me…"

"No, c’mon…" Isaac pulled meu p.

"Okay, rules?" Zac asked. "All the girls hide," He laughed. "All the guys find."

I made a face and stumbled a little, "that sucks…"

Isaac laughed, "oh come onnnn."

Reece stood up, "Yeahhhh, that sounds fun, I wanna play."

Zac laughed, he seemed pretty expectant that she would have wanted to play.

Out of about eleven of us, there were five girls, which I guess wasn’t all bad. "Okay," I finally agreed.

We set up to play, the guys turned their backs, the girls ran, and I didn’t know where the hell I was supposed to go so I found the biggest headstone I could, and I squatted down. It was cold and I could see my own breath, I heard the yells of the guys looking for the girls, I could hear Isaac’s voice, his merry drunken laughter, I heard him singing as he roamed, I hadn’t ever heard Isaac really sing close up. I’d heard him on various songs they’d had on the radio, but when it was just him it was rather different.

"Thiiiiiiiiis is thriiiiiiiiiiileeeeeerrrrrr, Thriiiiiiillllllllllller—" I felt something hit my foot and there was a thud, Isaac had come by and tripped up on my foot which had been jutting out of the hiding place accidentally.

"Oops," I laughed.

"I found ya," he chuckled, he leaned up.

"Yeah, you found me…" I smiled.

Isaac crawled over and slipped his arms around me, hugged me close, slipped my arms around him and hugged him back. "Told you this would be fun," He sighed happily, he rubbed my back bringing the back of my jacket and my sweater up a bit.

What was he doing, I wondered. I felt his fingers – they were cold – brushing against my spine and I shivered lightly. "Ike…what are you—" he quietened me by kissing my lips, gentle at first, then a little more aggressively. His hands slipped up the back of my shirt and I squirmed a little, I was beginning to get a little uneasy.

He murmured lightly into my ear, "how you feelin’?"

"I’m fine," I murmured, I felt giddy from the drink, I wasn’t used to it, and something was telling me that this was probably okay. Isaac was a lot drunker than I was.

"Gimme your hand," he tugged on my earlobe with his lips lightly.

"Why?"

"C’mon, just trust me…"

I gave him my hand shakily, between our bodies I felt him shuffle, I heard his clothes rustle and I felt him guide his hand to the piece of male anatomy somehow I had never imagined touching at age fourteen. It was…larger than I thought it would be, for Isaac at least, but my hand wrapped around it easily, he guided my hand down and moaned into my shoulder, he guided my hand, using me to get him off, he kissed my neck and moaned in ways I would have never expected to hear him moan. He gave a gasp and groaned, I felt something faintly warmish wet and thick on my hand, I didn’t know much about sex but I knew enough to know he’d just what my sex-ed teacher would call ‘ejaculated’.

"Oh god," I heard him murmur, he was breathing heavy, brushed his lips against my jaw.

I moved back a little and looked at my hand, winced and reached into my pocket with my other hand and pulled out a tissue and wiped my hand off as good as I could. I made a face. "Ew."

"Sorry, baby."

"It’s…fine…lets go back, Ike."

"But we still—" he tried.

I got up and pulled him up, watched him fix himself up as best he could, he wiped off any stains on his pants as best he could and looked at me, red in the face.

We headed back to the mausoleum where the others were, we’d been gone so much longer than everyone else. It was well into three in the morning before everyone decided to go home, those who could go home. Me and Reece were stuck with where to go.

That night, after we’d driven – Taylor having not drunk was able to drive - everyone else home, me, Reece, Zac, Tay and Ike slept in the van, everyone having used the "staying over at someone elses house" excuse I had used too. I was uncomfortable, feeling sick, and Isaac had passed out long before I had fallen asleep. I’d had somewhat had a good time and yet…I hadn’t. I wasn’t sure why.

* * * * *

At school the next morning – yes I had to go to school after the previous nights ordeal – I felt tired and groggy and grumpy. Taylor drove me and Reece to the end of the street where our school was – I wasn’t stupid, I didn’t want to chance Isaac find out I wasn’t the age I’d told him. Isaac got out of the van, "I’ll walk you," He suggested.

"No…" I looked at him, he looked really hung over. "You’re hung over," I said, I looked at him, I saw some of the guys from my school passing by, they watched as I hugged Isaac quickly, "I’ll talk to you later, you go home and get some sleep," I suggested.

Zac got out of the van, "I had fun last night," he said, he glanced at me and smirked, then looked at Reece, "I’ll call you."

Oh fuck, I thought, he’s got her number. I felt like this was some sort of conspiracy and I shot him a look of disgust.

Isaac hugged me back again, and kissed my neck, "I’ll call you later, okay?"

"Okay," I patted his back and moved back, adjusted my bag and then me and Reece headed off. The Hanson brothers drove off in their van, Reece and me walked to school.

"Man, that was such fun last night," Reece grinned, she skipped along hyperly.

"Yeah," I rubbed my head.

"Hangover?"

"I think so," I sighed.

"Man, Zac is SO cute," Reece grinned.

"He’s a cocky shit," I walked tiredly into the school, we headed into the girls toilets and changed into our school uniforms which we had brought with us last night in our bags. We’d come prepared. I was so surprised my mom and Reece’s mom had actually let us ‘sleepover’ on a school night…

"Where did you and Isaac go last night when we couldn’t find you guys?" Reece asked me as we were leaving the girls toilets.

"When was that?" I asked, I turned around the corner towards the lockers.
"During hide and seek?" she asked.

"Oh…we were around," I shrugged, I walked up to my locker and started on my combination.

"Where??? You guys were gone like half an hour…"
"We were talking…"

"About what? Tell meeeee…" Reece rested her chin on my shoulder and pouted, looking at me.

"We were makin’ out on someone’s grave," I shrugged and looked into my locker.

"Really?? Did you do it???"

"No…we did not do it…"
"What’d you do?"

"He…made me…like…" I paused for thought not sure if I should tell her. I probably shouldn’t have, "play with him…y’know?"

"Play with him?" Reece asked in wonder.

"Yeah…y’know…" I motioned my hand in that way a guy would if he were masturbating.

"Omigod!" Reece burst, "You got him off?!" She asked.

"Sssh!!"

"You have got to be kidding!"

"No…I’m not…" I closed my locker.

"Heyyyy," Karen Reynolds, my other best friend jumped up, "Where were you guys last night?? I called your house—" she pointed to Reece, "And your mom said you were staying at Astra’s," she said, she looked at me, "But when I called your private line, I got no answer and when I called your house number your mom said you were at Reece’s."

"Omigod, you didn’t tell my mom I wasn’t at Reece’s did you?" I looked at Karen.

"No, of course not," Karen hugged her books. "So where were you guys."

"We were hanging out with Hanson!" Reece grinned.

"Oh my god, you are so kidding. How come I wasn’t invited?!" Karen demanded.

"Astra got asked by Isaac, and well, Zac asked if she could bring me along," she grinned, "He likes me."

"Whoah, cool, can I have Taylor?"

"He’s a bit old for you," I stated to Karen.

"You can talk," Karen muttered, her voice was a little nasty. After hearing that, I walked off, in a huff.

Through my first class – English – I felt like I was in a daze, my head hurt, I didn’t feel well at all, and during second period – History – I dashed out of the classroom to only reach the girls toilets in time to spew my guts out. By third period – mathematics – I had gone a funny colour and I had thrown up more than three times, the school decided to send me home, they called my mom at her work, and told her to come and pick me up.

I didn’t let on that I’d had a hangover, I was lucky enough that I didn’t smell like drink, mom would have killed me.

Mom picked me up and she was pretty quiet in the car, she looked like she was tired too. At home, I slipped my jacket off and headed quietly up to my room, Meesha followed me, attacking one of my shoes as I tried to walk without standing on her. I dropped on my bed exhaustedly. Mom hadn’t even asked any questions, she hadn’t asked if I was alright, or if I wanted anything to help the nausea or anything. I felt strangely at ease that she hadn’t, at the same time, it hurt, it felt like she didn’t really care.

I slipped on my nightie and I climbed on into the bed and curled up, feeling sick as a dog. I’d already taken a couple of Advil hoping that would kill the pain in my head and calm my stomach. I slept through most of the day. I missed Isaac’s calls on my cellular phone, I woke up around ten PM – this shows you how tired I was – and checked the phone, I’d had six missed calls, all from Isaac, I checked my voice mail and there was a message from him…

"Hey, Astra, it’s Ike…I’ve called like four or five times already and got no answer – but your phone isn’t switched off so I’m not sure if you’re avoiding me or what…look, about last night, I didn’t mean to…get that way with you and I swear I’m sorry as hell for it, I mean…hell, we haven’t been going out long enough to get into that sort of relationship and I’m sorry I made you do that…"

He sounded guilty, I listened to the rest of the message…

"I really hope you’re not mad at me, I was drunk and it won’t happen again, call me when you can, alright? Bye."

He really did sound a little panicked, I sighed and redialled his number, the answer was almost instantaneous.

"Hi, Astra," he sighed in relief.

"How’d you know it was me?" I asked in confusion.

"Your number and name always comes up on my phone display whenever you call me," he explained.

"Listen, I wasn’t deliberately missing your calls, I had my phones sound turned down, I wasn’t well so I went home from school, I threw up during two classes and eventually I had to go home, I slept through the day," I explained.

"Ohh…how are you feeling?"

"Fine now I guess," I lay back on my bed, and yawned tiredly.

"Can I come over?"

I gasped, "Are you crazy?!" I kept my voice low.

"Why not?"

"My mom would go—"

"Does your mom NEED to know?" He asked.

"Well…I…"

"I can sneak in and out, I’ve seen your house, I can climb up the drainpipe and along the porch awning," he suggested.

"Okay…" I finally agreed, I didn’t know what I was thinking when I said okay.

"Which window?"

"The one with the rose trellis next to it," I answered.

"I’ll be there shortly," he said, "Bye."

He hung up without giving me a chance to say goodbye, I waited, watching out for his car, but it didn’t come. I lay on my bed and then all of a sudden, I heard a knock at the window, I looked at the glass and saw his face staring through, I ran to my bedroom door quickly and made sure it was locked. I wanted to be extra safe. I opened the window and helped get him inside.

"Man, that is some climb," He picked a thorn out of his bare arm.

"Ssh," I whispered, "my mom is in the next room," I explained softly.

"Will she be asleep?" he asked hopefully.

I glanced at the time noticing it was around quarter to eleven, I gave a nod.

"Okay," He whispered, he wiped a dot of blood off his arm, he looked at me, he looked a lot better than he had this morning. "How are you?" he asked..

"I’m fine," I said.

"That’s good," He paced around my room, curiously, looking around at all my stuff, I hoped to god there wasn’t anything to suggest my age there. "You have a nice room," he said.

My room is pale greens and pinks, very pastel and very girlie, my carpet is dark green and my bed is king-sized with a large gothic iron frame. I have pine furniture, and lots of teddy-bears and beanie babies that people have given me over the years.

He walked over to the bed, where I was sitting, still in my nightie, and he sat in front of me, looked at me with those unbelievably gorgeous mahogany eyes of his. He looked at me, he seemed to feel awkward for a moment. "I’m really sorry about last night," he looked at me seriously.

"It’s okay," I assured. "It’s not like I hadn’t before…" I lied. I wanted to at least seem like I was older, that I had a little experience.

"Yeah, but I mean…it was a bit soon and I was drunk and I shouldn’t have—"

"Isaac, don’t worry about it," I suggested.

"Okay," He nodded, he lay on his side at the bottom of my bed, across the way rather than the way he would were he planning to sleep. He kept his eyes on me. "You’re beautiful," He said.

I smiled a little and lay on my side in front of him, looking into his eyes, I still felt love, even after the previous night when he’d taught me how to please him right there on someone’s gave. He leaned over and kissed me softly, and we remained like that for a long time.

* * * * *

That morning I woke up to my mom’s yelling through the door, "ASTRA!!! TIME TO GET UP!! ARE YOU GOING TO SCHOOL OR WHAT??"

I shot up in a flash, realising Isaac was laying next to me, sleeping peacefully – still fully clothed I might add. I gasped and shook Isaac, he grunted and rolled over tiredly, his hair in his face, eyes closed, not wanting to get up yet.

"ASTRA!!"

"I’m up mom! I’m…Uhm…I’m still not feeling too well!" I tried to fake as much of a sickly voice as I could, I smacked Isaac a couple of times to wake him, he leaned up.

"Wha—" I put my hand over his mouth.

"I’ll call and tell them you’re not coming!"

"Okay mom!!"
"Must you have this door locked!?" she demanded.

"Sorry mom, force of habit," I pretended to sound even sicker.

I pushed Isaac off the bed, "Get under!" I whispered.

He got under the bed, and I pulled the covers over the front of the bed as best I could so he couldn’t be detected under there. I staggered to the door, unlocked and I opened it, my hair all mussed and my eyes all bleary, I tried to look sick as I could. I looked at mom and she looked back at me.

"You look like hell," she put her hand on my forehead, "You’re not warm though…are you sure you’re still feeling sick?"

"Yes, mom," I pathetically whined, "my head hurts so bad, and my stomach feels ten times worse, I think I have a flu or something…"

"Okay, well, you’re on your own," Mom handed me a basin, "I need to go to a meeting, so you’re going to have to fend for yourself…I could call aunt Vera if you want to come and take care of you…"

"Mom, I’m old enough to take care of myself," I said, I had almost said ‘I’m fourteen, I don’t need a babysitter’ but then I remembered Isaac under the bed.

"Okay, okay," she said, "I’ll see you when I get home."

I hoped for a kiss and a hug and her best wishes I would get well, but I didn’t get that. I sighed and mom left, I re-locked my door and watched Isaac crawl out from under the bed.

"That was close," I collapsed back on the bed.

"Tell me about it," he laughed.

"It isn’t THAT funny," I sighed. I ran my hand through my sleep mussed hair.

He pecked my lips, "do you want me to go?" he asked, "so you can go back to sleep?" he questioned. "Orrr, do you want me to stay."

"Don’t you have to work?" I asked curiously.

"I doubt they’d notice I was gone, besides, we could spend the day together," he hugged me.

"Ike…you should go…"

"Well…then why don’t you come with me?"

"To the studio?"

"Sure, it’d be fun…" He smiled.

"I have to be home for like…four thirty…mom will get home about five…"

"I’ll get you home at four-thirty," He smiled, "go on and get dressed, we’ll go straight there."

And so we did go to the recording studio, and I sat amongst his dad, the producer, and some spare musicians, and watched as Isaac and his brothers crooned out the words to a song called "Dying To Be Alive". I thought that was a bit of a contradiction actually. But let me tell you, Taylor has some set of lungs on him. So has Zac, but Zac has more of a tendency to yell rather than sing, almost as if he’s trying to drown out Taylor’s voice deliberately sometimes. Isaac, he’s the one with the softest voice, he’s about the only one who could also get away with singing those rock songs he sings now. I know Isaac seems like the quiet one with all the love songs, but give him an electric guitar and an audience and watch him go.

It was the first time I’d ever actually heard the three sing together in real life. Together, their voices flowed like water into a stream, sounded smooth as velvet, their harmonies perfect. Zac was a bit edgy, I don’t think he liked having me where he was working, at one point, he passed by my chair – a tight squeeze near the wall – and he pushed my chair without even saying excuse me, I nearly tipped over. Isaac didn’t even notice! I was definitely pissed off at Zac. I knew if luck should have it I found myself alone with him, he was dead. Isaac smiled at me every so often as he sang, and looked at me as if he were singing for me alone, which made my heart pound in my chest and flutters come to my tummy. I realised since Sunday, I shouldn’t be so uptight about what happened when Isaac and me…well…got frisky. I had to force myself to believe I was lucky, because not many girls would ever get to touch this man the way I had that night. Besides, I loved him, I would do anything for him. Even if it meant jerking him off to make him feel good, I guessed I should be willing, he was so nice to me he deserved a little something back. Like he said, he had drives and impulses. It wasn’t his fault he was human. If I’d known what those impulses were back then I would have tried to take it further the night before, in my bed, kissing with him softly, the lights off, cuddling until we fell asleep. It had been sweet. Isaac was warm and gentle. I always felt so loved and protected in his arms. I felt like I actually existed. I’d never felt so alive. I wanted to run away with him, go back to Tulsa or wherever else he was going to go, but realisation would hit me in my thoughts. I was fourteen – he was nineteen in fifteen days.

During a break, Isaac went off to get some coffee from Starbucks around the corner, Taylor sat beside me, looked at me, "so…how you enjoying studio life?" he laughed.

"Oh…it’s definitely something interesting," I smiled a little.

"I was real surprised Isaac even brought you here, he’s never brought a girlfriend to where we record before," Taylor shrugged, "You must be special," He smirked.

I smiled at that thought, "well…he seems to like me a lot."
"Like you? We’re all pretty sure he loves you, you’re all he talks about…"

I felt my stomach do several flips, "What does he say about me?" I asked.

"Oh, that you’re special, that you make him feel really complete, that kinda stuff," Taylor shrugged, "he also thinks you’re the hottest thing he’s seen since Cindy Crawford," he added.

I smirked, "Only Isaac would think that," I laughed.

"Listen, we’re throwing a surprise birthday party for him on the seventeenth…you up for it?"

"Definitely," I nodded.

"Great," Taylor smiled, "gimme your number so I can…y’know, give you details. I don’t wanna have to sneak around behind Ike’s back with you just to tell you where his party is," he laughed.

"Okay," I nodded and wrote the number down.

"Okay, well, I’ll let you know how it turns out," Taylor smiled and walked off.

Zac glanced over at me from where he was sitting behind one of Taylor’s keyboards, he was dressed in an orange tie dye T-shirt and faded cargo pants, he squinted his eyes at me.

I could almost understand why he didn’t like me. The fact was I was fourteen, Isaac was five years older – Isaac could be arrested for anything that happens sexually between me and him. Yet…I didn’t care, I loved Isaac, I didn’t want to lose the only person who had ever truly shown such affection to me, who gave hugs unconditionally.

‘Hanson’ as they were, wrapped up early, having finished all the vocals for that particular song decided to cut off early and go relax some. Isaac drove me homeward bound in his beautiful black 1999 VW Jetta.

"I love this car," I smiled and leaned back in the seat comfortably, hands rested on my lap.

"Can you drive?" he asked as he drove calmly.

"I uhm…" if I had been seventeen I probably should have known to drive, but I was fourteen and I didn’t. "Well…yeah, of course…"

"Maybe you’d like to take over?" he asked, looking at me.

"No!" I turned and looked to him, "No way…" I quickly thought, "No…your car is…expensive, I’m a bad driver," I explained. Bad driver, yeah right, that was true, I couldn’t DRIVE at all so I guess if I tried I would be pretty bad.

He laughed, "Okay, okay, don’t take a panic attack, I was just asking," He laughed. "How’s the kitty?" he asked.

"Oh, she’s fine."

"It’s a she?" Isaac asked, "I thought it was a boy," He laughed.

"No…it’s a girl. I called her Meesha."

"Meesha. That’s cute."

"Meesh for short," I added.

"Even cuter." He parked in front of my house and looked at me, "so…do I get to see you tonight?"

"Probably not, I should stay home and play sick for mom so she doesn’t get suspicious," I sighed.

"Okay, gimme a kiss now then," he leaned over and pressed his soft wet lips against mines. I felt my heart thudding in my chest, his fingers caressed softly against my cheek and I weakened right into his arms, if I had been ice, I would have melted, I felt so flushed. His mouth parted wider, and as I tried to respond, I soon felt his tongue intruding upon my own mouth, playing against my own, I felt foolish, I felt inexperienced compared to his skilled tongue and all I could do was try to copy him and hope he wouldn’t think I was such a child. His hand was buried in my hair, those fingers, those beautiful hands of his stroking my hair, massaging my scalp, his tongue flicking wildly against mines. I didn’t know why at that particular time, but I began to feel really tingly and achy at that moment, especially below. I felt my muscles tightening all over, and I squirmed slightly, squeezing my legs together tight. He ended the kiss, he was all breathless and flustered, I felt his hot breath upon my lips and I looked right into his eyes.

I looked at the clock on his dashboard, and winced, "my mom will be home soon…you have to go…"
"Why can’t I meet her?"

"She doesn’t want me dating, Isaac," I stated.

I could see he was beginning to suspect something was up, but he let it drop, probably because he cared and he didn’t want to upset me. I opened the car door and stepped halfway out. "Call me tonight."

"Okay," he breathed heavily, I took a quick look at him and chewed my lip, his cheeks were all crimson, his mouth was bright red, there was an odd shaped bulge in the crotch of his pants, my eyes just about popped out of my head, I had to look away.

"Bye," I got out and closed the door, he waved and drove off, I hurried inside and fed Meesha before doing anything, then I quickly got changed into my nightie and climbed into bed and waited for mom to come home. She didn’t say much when she did. She checked my temperature, said I looked fine and that I was going to school tomorrow. She didn’t speak much at dinner either, just like normal. God sometimes I felt like I didn’t even belong to her. I wondered if she was really my biological mother. I think it was too much to ask for that she wasn’t. But I knew she was. Unfortunately.

* * * * *

When I arrived at school the next morning, I noticed everyone’s eyes on me, staring, whispering behind my back, I walked up to my locker wearily, Kathy was at hers. She looked at me.

"Hey," she said.

"Hi," I said preoccupied, looking over my shoulders, noticing some of the cheerleaders were whispering something and looking at me as if I were the hot topic of conversation. I felt strangely uneasy.

"Why weren’t you in school yesterday?" Kathy asked, her brown eyes stared curiously at me through her glasses.

"I wasn’t well," I lied, I pulled my text book out of my locker and I slipped it into my bag, glanced at my watch and sauntered into the girls toilets, pulling out my clear mascara from my bag.

Kathy followed, glanced around making sure no one else was in the toilets, and she looked at me, "were you with Isaac?"

"Yeah," I shrugged, I dabbed on mascara, looking at my grey-green eyes in the mirror, sighing.

"You don’t sound too happy about it," Kathy sat up on the edge of a sink, looking at me, she flicked her auburn hair out of her eyes.

I sighed, "you have NO idea."

"I thought you were crazy about him."

"I am," I admitted. And although I was crazy about him, I was also beginning to become quite depressed. It wasn’t going to last forever…and eventually sooner or later he was going to find out I was Zac’s age. Everything seemed so fucked up right then, the thing with Isaac was so amazing, yet, I was so scared of losing him, and with my mom being so neglecting I couldn’t chance losing the only person who’d ever made me feel like I was worth a shit. It was so depressing just to think of it right then, I began to sob pitifully right at that moment.

Kathy got down, confused, "What’s wrong?"

"Everything!" I sobbed, I put my hands to my face as I ran into one of the stalls, shoved the door closed and locked it, I pushed the toilet lid down and sat, in tears, crying my heart out.

Kathy sighed, "I’m gonna go get Reece, okay?"

I didn’t answer, I just wept uncontrollably. I felt like a goddamn fool.

Moment’s later, Reece was knocking on the stall door, "Ast, let me in," She ordered.

"No!" I cried into my hands, trying to muffle my sobs. I was totally broken down right then. Everything was so screwed up, I didn’t think things would ever get any better.

"Don’t force me to climb over!" Reece stated.

I sighed and unlocked the door, sitting in tears on the toilet lid, looking the most pathetic I had ever looked in my whole life. Reece sighed and crouched in front of me, "What’s wrong, huh?" she took a handful of toilet paper from the dispenser and she wiped my face lightly.

"Everything," I sobbed.

"You should have stayed home…"

"Mom would have never let me," I sniffled.

Reece hugged me fiercely in that way only she could, it was rare she ever hugged, but when she hugged, you always felt it.

I hugged her back tightly, "What am I gonna do?" I sobbed.

"You’re gonna be happy, and gonna have a fucking good time," Reece pulled me up, wiped the remainder of my tears and picked up my bag, "c’mon, we’re gonna be late for class."

And so I pulled myself together and endured my classes, and just as I was getting out of school my cellular phone rang and I picked it up, "Hello?" I asked, I felt pretty lousy, I wondered if I really did have depression.

"Hi! Astra, finally, man I was trying your phone all night last night and kept getting a message saying your phone was switched off."

I sighed, "I know, I’m so sorry," I walked beside Karen and Reece, phone to my ear, they looked at me as if to ask who was calling but I thought it was pretty obvious. "I forgot to charge it last night and only got around to charging it for half an hour this morning before leaving for school – the battery is almost dead already," I sighed.

"Listen, I wrapped up early today because my throat hurts a bit," I could tell Isaac’s voice was a little hoarser than usual. "Do you wanna meet for coffee?"

I listened, I could tell he was driving as he talked. "Where are you now?" I asked.

"Sunset Grove," he answered.

"Ike, listen, I’m only just out of school, if you turn round the grove and come onto Quality Street then you can maybe come and pick me up?" I asked hopefully.

"Okay, will do. I’ll be right with you." He promised, and hung up.

I stood at the edge of the street after saying bye to my friends and I waited, sitting on a wall, absently picking my nail-polish off. Isaac’s black Jetta soon enough came along, and he parked, I got up and walked over, pulled the door open and climbed in, looked at him. He looked undeniably sexy in a black tanktop and old DKNY cargo pants, his hair was slicked back from his eyes, he looked at me. "Hey," He smiled softly.

"Hi," I tried to force a smile, we briefly kissed hello, and then he started up his car, "Where do you want to go?" he asked of me.

"Anywhere that’s not here," I answered. "Somewhere quiet."

"Wanna go to my house? No one’s there, my mom and dad took the kids to a theme park and my brothers are at the studio doing vocals for ‘Runaway Run’." He explained.

"Okay," I nodded.

He drove to the rented house he and his family were using for their stay in L.A. I loved this house, but at the same time hated its impersonality. It almost reminded me of a hotel. Isaac plopped down on the couch and patted the seat next to him.

I smoothed down my school skirt, and sat down primly, looking at him. He slipped his arm around me and pulled me closer, "Wanna watch some TV?" he asked.

"Okay," I nodded, and rested my head against his shoulder, he picked up the remote and clicked the top button, the TV flickered to life and Isaac turned the station until he found something suitable, he rubbed my shoulder and I felt strangely at ease there, in his arms, he slouched down and I rested my head against his chest, listened to his heart beating. I could hear him breathe in the scent of my hair. Isaac was funny like that, he cherished things like the scent of a girls hair, or the feel of her hand in his. I appreciated him for not even taking those little things for granted. I curled up into him.

"Isaac?" I murmured softly.

"Uh huh?"

"I’m not mad at you," I decided to express suddenly.

"For what?" he questioned, he reached down, put his hand under my chin and raised my head to look at him.

"Making me jerk you off…" I looked at him.

He laughed nervously and his eyes averted for a moment, "well, that’s always good to know," he looked right at me, "But you shouldn’t worry about that…" He explained.

"But it’s okay, really," I leaned up trying to explain, "if you want that I can do it…it’s—" I swallowed, "No problem."
He laughed nervously once again, maybe a little more than before, "Astra," He pulled me up so I sat up straighter, "You aren’t here for my sexual enjoyment…" He explained, "No matter how…uhm… well, y’know…horny I might feel," he shrugged. "Sunday was different, I was drunk, I didn’t mean for that to happen, but when you’re drunk sometimes you’re not really in control of your actions – or your thoughts."

"I know that," I nodded, blushing insanely.

"You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to…and if I try to influence you otherwise just slap me."

"Ike, I’m not the kind of girl who can be taken advantage of easy," I explained.

"I know," he hugged me, slouching down a little more, his feet up on the coffee table.

We kissed softly, he wrapped his arms around me protectively as if it were his sworn duty to never let me go. I wasn’t sure why, maybe I thought that if I tried to please him maybe he’d love me, and then even if he did find out my age he wouldn’t care because I made him happy. I slowly ran my hand down his stomach and shakily got it to the crotch of his pants, I felt him recoil quickly, he caught my wrist and held it away.

"What are you doing?" he looked at me suspiciously.

"Just…trying to make you happy…" I shrugged.

"Astra…" he swallowed.

"Uh huh?" I looked at him right in the eyes.

"Don’t do that, okay? I know I seemed…pretty comfortable about it on Sunday, but I’m not now…"

"Okay," I looked away, he pulled me close and kissed me again. For some moments I spent pondering that. How could he have not liked that…I thought that was what all guys wanted. But Isaac, I had to remind myself, wasn’t a normal guy, he was waiting for the right moment, the right time. He probably wouldn’t make love until he was married. At the same time as wanting to respect his wishes and not touch him – at that moment, I wanted to experiment. I’m not sure why, maybe it was just because he made me feel so funny inside when I got close to him, when I kissed him. I could have never understood it right then, but I knew what I was feeling was normal urges most teenagers get some point in their lives. It wasn’t like me to feel these things, I never had before, but Isaac provoked so many feelings in me at that time, it wasn’t surprising he provoked that too.

Our kisses deepened, tongues exploring each others mouths, hands in each others hair. Oh, Isaac, if only you had KNOWN you were making out with a fourteen year old child. I found myself moving more on top of him the deeper our kisses became.

I didn’t hear the click of the door, and at first I didn’t understand why Isaac pulled away so damn quick, I toppled off of his lap and onto the floor, hitting my elbow on the coffee table.

"Ow FUCK!" I cried out.

Zac was standing at the door, he’d just come home, he looked at us both, his eyes squinted when he looked right at me.

"Zac…when’d you get home," Isaac smoothed down his shirt, then reached down and helped me up from the floor.

"Just now, when did YOU get home?" he demanded.

"About half an hour ago," Isaac stated, he sat up straight, "Anyone want a soda or something?"

"Yes please," Zac stated, all the while looking right at me.

Isaac had obviously offered to get soda because he wanted to avoid embarrassment, "Astra," He drew his breath.

"Yes please," I answered. Inside I pondered don’t leave me alone with your brother but I didn’t speak up. Isaac went off into the kitchen, leaving me and Zac alone.

Zac stood, arms folded, shoulder propped against the threshold of the door between the hallway and the living room, he looked at me disapprovingly. "Why the hell can’t you find someone your own age."

"Someone like you?" I snorted.

"Don’t make me laugh, I wouldn’t go near you with a barge pole," he laughed insanely as if my suggesting I should like someone like him were unmentionable.

"Oh shut up, as if your liking Reece is any different. God you know you’re only pretending to like her to get to me."

"Shut up, Reece is cool. Which is more than I can say for you and your deceptive, twisted little mind."

"Oh, fuck off," I stood, headed for the door, shoved aside the immature little shithead known as Zac Hanson, I went off to find Isaac, "Ike, I’m going," I stated.

"Already?" he asked, confusedly.

"I have homework," I said, I lied, I didn’t have homework, the truth was I just didn’t want to be within any area where Zachary Hanson was going to chaperone.

"Oh, okay," Isaac said, he handed me a can of soda, "You can take this with you then," he shrugged.

"Thanks."
"You want me to drive you?"

"Nah, I’ll walk, I wanna stop by my fr—" I caught myself, "Cousins."

"Okay," he nodded, he showed me to the door, I looked over my shoulder, Zac was standing in the threshold, facing the other way, seeing I was leaving satisfied him and he smirked that very knowing smirk of his, I wanted to kill him right then.

I looked at Isaac and right in front of Zachary I kissed him goodbye in a passionate way, very showy, very deeply, and I’m pretty sure Zac could see our tongues leaving each others mouths as we broke apart, I squinted my eyes at Zac and then looked at Isaac. "Bye," I murmured.

"I’ll call you."

"Okay," I nodded, and I left.

I headed over to Reece’s house, she was sitting on the porch playing with her little sister Carmen’s hair.

"Hey," I said, I sat beside them. Carmen looked at me, Carmen was unlike Reece, her eyes were big and dark brown, her hair was a large mass of silky black ringlets.

"Hey, Car, go on inside while I speak to Astra," Reece smacked her little sisters butt playfully.

Carmen pouted and went inside.

"You feeling any better?"

"I dunno," I sighed, "y’know…Zac is making life hell for me…I’m getting SO close to popping him one…"

"He doesn’t seem as nasty as you’re making him out to be…"
"Reece, he’s treating me like shit," I sighed. "And you don’t believe me because you just wanna go out with him," I stood up.

"That is not true!" Reece stood too, her voice getting a little higher in anger.

"Then what is?! God, I think the only reason he’s going out with you is so Isaac finds out I’m in the same class as you!"

"How can you say that?!?"!" She demanded, upset.

"Because I know it!! He’s trying to get at me!"

"Oh yeah so now you’re saying the only reason Zac Hanson would go out with me is because he wants to get at you because you’re dating his fucking brother!"

"Let’s face it! You’re not his type!!"

"Yeah, well you’re not Isaac’s type!! And you’re too young for him!!! So just go fuck off!!" she yelled and she stormed into her house and slammed the door shut.

"Bitch," I muttered under my breath and I headed home. By the time I got home and into my room I was crying once again. I ignored Isaac’s call that night, I really needed to be alone.

* * * * *

My life was a mess. I was losing friends here and there already, I’d basically pissed Karen and Reece off already. I had Zachary Hanson on my case. I failed a test that day, got detention for being late for a class – because of my monthly curse coming on at the worst moment – and the teacher wouldn’t take that excuse. It’s not my fault the crimson tide decided to crash just as I was leaving English. During Maths, Karen and Reece glanced over at me from where they were sitting, more or less throwing dirty looks, I felt aches in my heart like none other. I could tell they were thinking what I was beginning to realise. It was like I was dumping my friends for Isaac. More than that, I was treating them like shit as well.

So everything was really fucked up. And I was avoiding Isaac's’calls, and when I got home I was surprised to see Isaac’s car parked outside my street, he was sitting in his seat looking in solemn, I could tell he was waiting for me, so without going into the house, I headed towards his car and I leaned in the open window, "Hey," I said quietly.

"Hey," He looked at me, "Didn’t you get my calls?"

"I’ve been tied up with homework and school and stuff," I sighed, "I’m sorry," I looked flushed and ill, I had cramps that felt like my whole womb was twisting inside me. Having not had my period long (this had only been my third period in existence) I wasn’t used to the pain, and felt like I was practically dying.

He could tell by looking into my eyes that I was hurting emotionally and physically, "are you alright?"

"No…" I sighed, "I’m not feeling too good," I sighed.

He gave a sigh, "maybe you should go to bed…"

"Are you mad at me?"

"Why would I be?"

"Everyone else is," I felt my eyes welling up with tears.

"Aww, Astra…" he looked at me, I tell you, there’s only one thing that can make a guys heart really ache and that is to see a girl cry, especially if she’s his girlfriend.

He got out of the car and slipped his arms around me, "What’s wrong, baby?" he rubbed my back comfortingly, I felt so safe in his arms, so protected, and like the world didn’t matter.

"Everything," I cried into his shoulder.

"Wanna tell me about it?" he asked.

"I can’t," I sobbed into his shoulder, staining his white T-shirt with tears.

"Come with me," he murmured, he opened the passengers side door on his Jetta and he helped me in, I sighed and buckled my seatbelt.

He got in and started the car, the radio bursting to life with oldies music – I’m not sure the exact station he was singing, but I recognised the song ‘Build Me Up Buttercup’ – Probably because it was in that ‘Something About Mary’ movie. He knew all the words and he sang along as I sat trying not to cry more, I think more than anything his voice cheered me up, soothed me.

"Why do you build me up, build me up, buttercup baby, just to let me down, let me down and mess me around and then worst of all, worst of all, you never call, baby, when you say you will, say you will, but I love you still, I need you, I need you more than anyone darlin’, you know that I have from the start, so build me up, build me up buttercup, don’t break my heart," he sang loudly, clearly, his voice was amazing for singing songs like this.

I looked at him, the profile of his face, the straight nose and the lip, quivering as he exaggerated notes jokingly trying to cheer me up, continuing with the song. We ended up driving for ages, and when he finally did stop the car, I didn’t even recognise where we were. He looked at me, his brown eyes catching the light, the sun was starting to set at this point, we had driven for that long. "Now…" he said, "do you wanna talk about it?"

"I can’t," I sighed, I sat quiet for a moment after this, face turned away from him.

Isaac reached over and touched my cheek, made me turn and look at him again, "just tell me if you’re thinking of dumping me," he said, "I can take it."

"No, it’s not that," I tilted my head so my cheek pressed into his palm, he brushed his thumb as a tear fell from my eye.

"I want to know," He murmured, "I can see you’re hurting…"

"I’m fine, really," I sniffled, "Ike…hold me…" I looked at him.

He unbuckled both our seatbelts and he pulled me over and hugged me fiercely, lovingly, lips pressed against my hair, breathing in the scent. I relaxed in his arms and closed my eyes, I was so tired I could have fallen asleep right then, "My mom will throw a fit, I haven’t been home…" I sighed.

"You’re seventeen years old, she shouldn’t need to worry about you," Isaac stated.

But I’m not seventeen, baby, I’m fourteen…I thought in heartache.

"Can you take me home now?" I asked.

"Okay," He sighed and complied, and he drove me home, which took another hour and a half, I looked at my watch, it was eight PM by the time I got home. I looked at him as he parked a little away from my house, he gave a sigh. "I wish you’d let me meet your folks…I feel like kind of guilty."

"No…it’s not a good idea…"

He looked at me, "Can I sneak up later?"

"You want to?" I asked, I rubbed my stomach a little, unnoticed to him.

"Yeah," he nodded, "I just want to be with you."

"Okay, about ten-thirty, okay?" I asked of him softly.

"Okay," he nodded, and brushed his lips against mines, and let me go.

I got into the house, my mom was sitting in the living room, reading some sort of report to do with her job. I walked in trying to appear as casual as I could.

"Where the hell have you been?"

"Does it matter," I muttered, I looked at her.

"Yes," she frowned.

"Not really," I uttered and I walked out of the living room, stalked into the kitchen, my dinner was in the oven, I grabbed the plate and put it on the table and sat down, sighing.

She appeared a moment later, frowning, "I don’t like your attitude," he stated.

"I don’t like yours either," I muttered.

She looked at me, "you’re an ungrateful brat, you know that?"

"What have I got to be grateful for?" I muttered, I stood up, pushed my plate forward, then walked out of the kitchen, went upstairs and slammed my door and locked it. My first thought was that everyone was mad at me now, but I didn’t care. They were so self centred. At least Isaac wasn’t. He cared.

My mom didn’t bug me after that confrontation in the kitchen – which she herself provoked by the way. I sat in my room, I wrote in my diary, I considered trying to call Reece and Karen and apologise for the way I was acting, but knowing them they’d just hung up once they heard me say my name. I listened to my TLC album, I was humming along to ‘Red Light Special’ when Isaac knocked on my window, he was hanging off the trellis. I got up, unlocked the window and pulled it open, letting him in.

He climbed in and closed the window, looked at me, his hair was wet, he was dressed in a Tanktop and a grey hooded jacket, some faded green jeans.

"Is it raining?" I asked.

"I had a shower," he stated, he looked down, watching Meesha pawing at one of the laces of his Airwalks.

I checked my door was locked and nodded to myself that I was sure. I felt so lucky I could get away with this, my mom would never ever suspect a thing. Isaac took his jacket off and tossed it on the chair and sat down on my bed, picked up the diary I had left there and he put it on the nightstand. I was almost glad he didn’t open it, it had my age on the first page! He leaned on the bed, watching me, I was dressed in a baggy old T-shirt and a pair of jogging pants, which was always my night time attire if I was on the crimson tide. I stood, watching him as he watched me, he was so beautiful. His hair – wet – was hanging in loose ringlets, he looked at me and licked his lips and then bit down on his bottom lip a little.

"You’re beautiful, you know that?"

I felt less than beautiful, I felt bloated and spotty and tired and dry skinned, sore and everything else that came along with a period. I sat down on the edge of the bed and he looked at me, smiled and sat up.

"Ike, I’m on my period…" I blurted…unsure why, I put my hand to my mouth, eyes bulging. I didn’t know why the fuck I said that, I can’t remember if I had thought he’d want to get physical tonight. Even though he’d said getting physical really wasn’t his thing, I knew as well as he did, he was a guy, it would eventually happen.

He looked at me for a moment, "It’s okay," he soothed.

I blushed more than I ever had in my whole life and looked away, he just smiled, "It’s okay," he laughed, "it’s life, it happens," he shrugged.

"Sorry," I chewed my lip, sitting, arms folded over my stomach, I was hurting so bad from cramps I felt doubled over.

"Here," he said, he leaned back against the pillows and pulled me into his arms, put his hand on my stomach and began massaging lightly, I closed my eyes, feeling so lucky, and yet unlucky, so…unworthy.

I woke up for school, mom had already left, but my alarm went off. Isaac grunted and pulled a pillow over his head, half asleep. I sat up, rubbed my head and sighed, I grabbed my school clothes and went into the bathroom to get changed. I had a quick shower and dried off, I had hardly gotten into my clean underwear and Isaac stumbled in, gaped, standing looking at me, there I was, standing in a bra and panties, Isaac looked like he’d weaken in the knees right, his knees certainly seemed weak from what I could see exposed from him only wearing boxers and a tanktop. He said he would have slept in those green jeans he’d come wearing, except they were a bit stiff and uncomfortable. I wasn’t sure what was ‘stiff and uncomfortable’, the jeans or himself? I laugh right now thinking about that. However then that was the last thought on my mind, I looked at him.

"Uhm…sorry," he spun right around and walked out.

I pulled on my skirt and shirt quickly, still closing the buttons as I walked back into the room, "go on," I nodded my head towards the bathroom. He rushed off to the bathroom to do his business and I tucked my shirt in, and sat at the dressing table and stared in the mirror, looked at myself, I really didn’t want to go to school, I didn’t have much choice though, they’d probably tell my mom if I didn’t go.

Isaac sauntered out and grabbed his jeans, "think your mom will be around?" he asked, he pulled them on, watching as Meesha tried to claw at the feet as he tried to pull them on.

I pulled my hair into a ponytail, "She’s probably already left," I said.

Isaac looked at her, "Can you check?"

"Sure," I nodded, I left my room after instructing him to lock my door behind me, I checked the whole house, and then knocked on my door, "She’s gone, you can come out…"

Isaac walked out, looking around the hallway and followed me downstairs to the kitchen, I put some bread in the toaster.

"Want toast?" I asked

"No thanks, I’m probably gonna have to rush home soon enough," he explained, "I have to get some clothes on," he looked at the his watch, "I have an interview first thing this morning so I’m gonna have to look half decent," he glanced at me, "I’ll be free about seven tonight though," he said.

"Okay," I nodded.

"You want to go out for dinner tonight? Or a movie? Or bowling or something?"

"Yeah, okay," I nodded.

"Okay," He pecked my lips, "But I’ll drive you to school, okay?"

"Okay," I smiled. I had some toast for breakfast, and then we left, Isaac did as he promised, he drove me to school the end of the street where my school was, I said I wanted off there and he complied because the way he needed to go was straight ahead and turning the corner would have been an inconvenience anyway. When I got out of the car, there were quite a few heads turned, a lot of students were walking to school, some of them guys from my class, they saw who was in that car, and some of them even laughed. But I ignored them and I went on my way, heard Isaac’s car drive off. I still couldn’t believe Isaac hadn’t caught on yet. I guess he saw what he wanted to – a seventeen year old girlfriend.

When I reached my locker, Reece was at hers, two lockers up from mines, she glanced over at me and shoved her history book into there and pulled out a folder.

I swallowed nervously, and looked at her, "Has Zac called you, yet?" I asked.

Reece slammed her locker shut, "Yes," she muttered.

"Look I didn’t mean to say—"

"Why is it you think I’m so pathetic the only reason a guy would like me is to use me?" she demanded with hurt eyes.

"I never said that…"

"You think the only reason Zac would like me is to get to you, is there some reason Zac wouldn’t find me attractive? Or sweet…or just a really cool person?"

"No…it’s just that he’s really two faced! I can tell, you saw the way he treated me when we were at the mall, you saw the dirty looks he was throwing me when we were at the cemetery on Halloween…" I explained.

"He IS right, you’re too young for Isaac…you could get him in a lot of trouble."

"I love him, okay?!" I drew in my breath looked towards my locker, then leaned my forehead against the cool metal of my locker, sighing.

Reece stood silent for a moment or so, "fine, I’m sorry."

"Me too."

We had made up, I felt better already. I went through my classes feeling slightly better than I had the day before. I went home and discovered mom wasn’t gonna be home ‘til ten which gave me time to get ready for my date. I felt like shit still, my cramps felt so bad and I really didn’t want to go. Isaac appeared, looking dapper in black leather pants and a white shirt. I was dressed in a black dress and a black cardigan over it. My hair in loose curls. I tried to smile and we left together. He took me to one of the fanciest restaurants I’d ever been to, we sat at a candle lit table, ate and laughed, gave each other sweet expressions over the table and played footsy under the table. I seriously considered not going home that night but I knew I had no choice. The date was over at nine-thirty. Half an hour before my mom was due home. It ended so early because I wasn’t feeling well – with the cramps and all. Isaac parked his car right outside my house, I looked at him.

"Well…I had a really nice time…sorry about, y’know…"

"It’s okay," Isaac smiled, he opened his door, "I’ll walk you to the door."

"You don’t have to…" I opened the door and go out.

He got out, and came to my side, took my hand, "Yeah, but you’re not feeling well, I’d rather be safe than sorry," He smiled.

We walked up to the door, and I looked at him, smiled and was about to lean over to kiss him goodnight.

And then the door swung open and my mother was standing there, looking very un-amused.

I jumped, "Mom," I almost gasped, I swallowed nervously, noticed my moms eyes go straight to Isaac.

"Mom…hi…" I swallowed.

"Where have you been?"

"Out…I was at Reece’s," I let go of Isaac’s hand thankful she had not noticed. "Mom, this is Isaac, Reece’s boyfriend’s big brother…he drove me home…cause I wasn’t feeling well," I explained.

Isaac looked at me kind of in a way that questioned me as if I were ashamed of him or something, I drew my breath and looked at him.

"Isaac…thanks for driving me home – and for seeing me to the door," I chewed my lip, looking at him.

"It’s…no problem…Astra…I’ll see you around," he glanced at my mother and then back to me and headed down the porch without saying ‘bye’.

My mothers Prussian blue eyes squinted, I sauntered past her and into the house.

"You’re grounded."

"Huh?!" I spun around as I had almost reached the staircase.

"You heard me. Your curfew is nine and you know it, and I’m sick of you coming in at nine-thirty, ten and eleven as if you’re sixteen or seventeen," she frowned. "You will not come and go as you please, roaming the streets and in strangers houses at ungodly hours."

"Mom!" I gasped. "They’re not strangers, they’re my friends!"

"You’ll be home all weekend, you’re not going anywhere, and for the next two weeks you’ll be straight home after school."
"NO!"

"Don’t talk back to me, you’re grounded, and the more you—"

"GOD you’re such a fucking bitch!!! I HATE YOU!!!" I screamed at her.

She finished her sentence, "The more you talk back the more time you’re getting. You’re grounded for one month, now get your damn bedroom and out of my site!" she spun around and stormed into the living room, slamming the door.

I stomped up to my room and slammed the door loudly, the whole house seemed to rattle as I did. I burst into tears as I threw myself on my bed. I couldn’t believe it. I wouldn’t be able to see Isaac for a month?! By then the album would be finished, and they’d be on their way back to Tulsa and I’d probably never see them again. I must have cried all night long. I cried myself to sleep…