| Introducing a broken angel who just wants to be loved, Nalaya. |
| Now this backround isn't mine. I found it off google and it's not like this is official or anything. It's just you but isn't it pretty? And it fits my theme. |
| Now for the story! |
| The Life of a Half-A |
| My name is Nalaya, my last name dosen't matter. I don't know my real one - I was never told - and my adoptive parent's I want no part of, not even their name Especially their name. They abandoned me like everyone else. Not physically at first but emotionally. They couldn't accept who or what I was. I to this day don't how they didn't about my conditon before they adopted me but that dosen't really matter to me. What matters is that when they did find out, they despised me, just as the orphanage caretaker had, just as the rest of those sad, lonely orphans did. I cried in my pillow every night yearning for a mother I could barely remember and a father who had abandoned me to people who hated me. Sure in public my 'parents' pretended to adore me, playing the perfect parents, as long as no one knew what I was. I was just a charity case to them. To show their stuck up friends how caring they were. To 'give back' to the little people they had stepped on to get where they were. Of course I was well taken care of for they feared what their friends would think that they had an unkept child. I had everything a child needed except love. My tiny eyes and heart held more misery than one child should ever hold. In my small life the only memory of being loved I had was a faint voice singing and a barely remembered warmth of arms around me - surrounded by the scent of flowers I could not name. All this misery because I was a Half-A. A Half-A was a genetically altered humanoid or more specifically a Jewelian. Later they were breeded into the the gene pool till they were a 'natural' occurance. There are several types of Half-A's, of course male and female but inside the genders there is type one and type two. A male Half-A is male on top but type ones have the ability to reproduce with another guy. Type two is the same on top but has the ability to reproduce with women, men, or dancing bears. For the females, they of course are female on top and type one has the ability to reproduce with other females and type two has the whole package, they get horny and PMS, not a pretty picture. I am a type two female, not exactly something to be welcomed by a possible significant other or anyone for that matter Half-A's are usually disappointed in that area, even on their own planet. Shunned by the very people they were spawned from. On the jewelian world, our home worl we are persecuted and hated. Due to this unnatual hatred its unlikely to find more than one on any single planet. Many of us commit suicide when rejected by someone we thought loved us. Someone we finally thought that could love us no matter what and often they don't so many of people seem to see no other way. The ones that don't commit suicide leave the planet and go to a place where they can try to lead a 'normal' life. They tend to avoid close relationships especially ones of a romantic nature. However some Half-A's sometimes still make the mistake of believing someone could look beyond what they are on the outside and truly love them for 'who' they are one the inside. I was one of those Half-A's. His name was Darien and he was as big a jerk as they come. I should have seen it sooner but he told me he loved me and that's all I wanted. All I had ever wanted...to be loved. So I stayed with him. He kept pressuring me for sex but I knew that he would never be able to understand. One night he wouldn't be denied so he attempted to rape me. His attempt was abrutly halted when we found what I was, a freak. He said that he hated me...that I was disgusting and other words that drove me weeping from his presence. I never saw him again, but it took me and eternity to get over the heartbreak. I vowed to never get into a serious romantic relationship again or any romantic relationship. I had finally accepted what I had known all along. I was incapable of being loved. So I threw myself into my daily routine as Yuki's editor, not looking to the past or the future, both being far too painful. I took things a day at a time until something interruption my perfectly ordinary life. Yuki met Shuichi and with him, came Hiro. When I saw Hiro...I...I knew. Something stirred inside me. I wanted to get to know him but I couldn't...I wouldn't. I was not capable of surviving another heartbreak. I was a Half-A Hiro could never understand that...he could never accept that. But that is what I was, so he could never accept me, no matter how much I wish he could. However for years I avoided getting to know him, in order to protect my fragile heart and I succeded until Fate or at least my "friends" came into play. They had tried, unsucessfully, many times before but they finally got us together on the night that Yuki decided to go to a gay bar with Shuichi. He asked me to watch his kids which I did often - sometimes his kids plus Shuichi - so I suspected nothing. I walked right into their trap, Hiro came over too and they left us together. Through the whole affair I managed to mantain my indifference of him but when Yuki and Shuichi got home and we headed out as well, I had a slight problem. Hiro kissed me...kissed me and ran off, with his long hair flying behind him. I couldn't help it, in a moment of insanity I tackled him and played with his beautiful hair, relishing the feel of it between my fingers. When I came to my senses I let him go cursing how stupid I had been. Didn't I know what I was? Didn't I remember that I wasn't made for a match in heaven? All I had in my futurn was persecution and rejection if anyone else found out what I was. Later that night, I again couldn't help myself. I was locked under his spell. I summoned his image in a bubble and played with him. Sending him sensations that he would not be able to place. It was stupid of me and also cruel. But it was like a drug, I couldn't stop myself. Every night for the next two weeks I did the same thing, even in the middle of his concert. He was really into his music that night, I also gave him my, I mean his braid. He's adorable...he's grown attached to it already. But after the concert, Xanatos - the jerk - took my Jewelian powers. I couldn't use my bubbles to watch Hiro and I couldn't poof to him, which meant I would have to physically go to Hiro to see him. So what did I do? I went to Yuki's house, afterall I was his editor and I had a manuscript to pick up. But when I arrived at the house, Yuki couldn't find it. I suspected that Xanatos had something to do with that as well. After all he is Sapphire's little pawn in her game of love and she was annoyed with me so gave him free reign. Never a good idea for victums. As I looked for somewhere to sit I realized with horror how well trapped I was. The only empty seat was right between Xanatos and my Hiro...no he's not yours I scolded myself uselessly. But my heart still yearned for him, and there was nothing I could to to stop it. In the next few hours I would unwillingly be reunited with a "friend" I had never wanted to see again, almost be the death of my king through that "friend", meet my real father for the first time in my life, and finally allow myself to fall completely in love. The "friend" I mentioned? It was my crystal...my life-force, the life-force that every Jewelian - even Half-s - are born with. Fate for some reason had been keeping me alive...I had wondered about that, I should have been dead, we can't survive long without our crystals. That's when I almost killed my king. He tossed my crystal to me and weakened from my years of neglect, my crystal took what it needed from him. Which makes me wonder...what is in my future that Fate and the King of the Jewelian Empire would go to such great lengths to keep me alive? That's when my father came, to save Xanatos before he wiltted from not getting any attention or something. He seem so cold and standoffish. But when he looked into my eyes and I looked into his...there was a strange gentleness, a kindness in them, even if it was only for a moment. That's when I knew, something in those eyes told me that the creator of the Half-A's was also my biological father. The man I had longed for in the middle of the night all those years ago. When my father left, everyone slowly drifted off, leaving Hiro and I alone. Bored, we talked about movies, especially A Walk to Remember while we tried to decide what movie to watch since neither of us wanted to go home yet. We searched through Yuki's movies but came out dissatisfied, so we decided to go to a movie instead. I should have known then to just go home, but I went anyway. After debating which movie for awhile we settled on National Treasure. Neither of us had seen it yet and it was supposed to be good. On the way there we ran into some of his friends, some of his very annoying friends that are fondly known as the Peanut Gallery. They teased him about me being his girlfriend, he looked so adorable as he blushed furiously...I nearly blushed myself. I really liked this guy, no I'll be honest, even then I knew I loved him. But I also knew that I wasn't designed for happily ever after. Just an end. A lonely unhappy end. The Peanut Gallery followed us the whole way, they even went to see the same movie, but by the end of it they all had broken bones and plenty of bruises. My Hiro can be rather - cutely - violent when he's embarrassed After the movie was over, neither of us was ready to go our sperate way yet so we tried to decide what we would do next. We ended up just talking, such a simple thing that can lead to such disasterous results. We returned to the subject of A Walk to Remember, a common favorite. He asked me if I wanted to come back to his house to watch it. I knew going to house was a bad idea...a very bad idea but again I felt myself pulled by a force I could not control. I said yes, and we made our way to the apartment he shared with a no talent actor he calls his brother...I still don't see how they're related. When we got there he of course had to throw all of the beer cans and ashtrays into his brothers room before I was allowed in - of course most of theem belonged to his brother, NOT him. It was adorable...When he let me in he started dinner while I sat on the couch, wondering what I was doing here. Xanatos used this moment to his advantage, and pounced onto my already broken and confused heart. He kept pestering me, insisting that I should confess to Hiro what I was. The sad thing is, I fell for it. "Hiro?" I asked. "What is it? "I'm not what you think I am." I confessed, defeated. "What are you talking about?" There was this guy and he...when he..." Hiro came over and gently covered my mouth. "Shh...whatever he did, I'm not going to be like him, I promise." What a fool I was, I fell for that too. After dinner, we watched the movie. A movie about the power of love and how it can overcome and endure anything, one of my favorites for obvious reason; some of it must have rubbed off on him, he kissed me. It was a sweet tender kiss as if he was asking me for permission. Well heck with my vow, I gave him that permission and more. I wasn't going to leave him hanging. We made out for awhile, the movie forgotten. And following the universal law that first make out sessions must be interuppted his stupid brother came in. Hiro quickly proceeded to throw things at him and gave him a gash in his forehead so he had to go to hospital. But despite his speed the moment was gone...our heated magic gone cold. I knew he wouldn't venture to kiss me again. So this time I kissed him and thankfully he didn't leave me hanging. But this was going to far, if we were already having make-out sessions, how long would it be before he started feeling me up? Or far worse, down...Except he was noble. Perhaps he sensed my reluctance to go further or he could have just been considerate. I didn't know him well enough to be sure. My own fault of course. Whatever the reason I was glad...I wan't ready to have my heart broken by someone I loved. I wasn't ready to let this moment end. His brother will never make it as an actor if he dosen't get his cues right. He came back at the worst possible moment again...That night it would have been better if we could have been all alone, sure he was quickly chased back into his room but he had still treaspassed on our moment together. Soon after Hiro and I fell asleep right there on the couch. That next morning brought the worst and best moments of my life. Hiro woke up before me and happened to feel down there and realized that if I was really a woman I wouldn't have what I have down there...It was time for the truth..."I told you I wasn't who you thought I was..." I said reluctantly. Then came the words that tore my heart..."What are you?" He asked harshly. I told him...I told him everything. He ran out of the aparment so fast I could almost believe it had been a nightmare but I knew better than that. As always my big brother Yuki knew I needed him and came to my rescue. I crawled into his arms and cried like my world had ended and indeed, it had. Yuki mearly let me cry offering the only comfort you can give to the broken hearted. I knew he had probably chewed out and beaten up Hiro but at the moment I didn't care. I didn't care about anything, but then I heard a noise and looked up to see Hiro standing in the doorway. I knew I should have left his apartment but I hadn't been able to take myself frokm the place I had had my first truly free moments even if they had been followed my my most imprisoning ones. The man I loved had tears in his eyes. As Yuki grudgingly left us to talk, my heart hung helplessly on what those tears would mean. What kind of tears were they? Anger? Regret? Sorrow? Either way my life and my heart would never be the same again. Either filled with unspeakable joy...yeah right...like I would ever get the happy ending or I would be shattered beyond any and all repair and very likely attempt to follow my brothers and sisters who had taken the easy way out, since sometimes it's the only one there is. This heartbreak hurt much worse than the last because I loved this one...really loved this one...With all my heart and soul. I could not survive this again. "I'm so sorry...I promised I wouldn't be like him didn't I?" "Yeah you did..." I said tears streaming down my face. I just didn't want to be alone anymore..."Can we try that one more time?" He asked. "I guess so..." So we did it again, just as it had been before. We repeated that fateful scene, I just spoke in a choked voice and had tear tracks drying and then coming down again. After all didn't I know how this story ended? Hadn't I always known? Except this time when he asked "What are you?" It sounded...playful...so sticking to the script I told him and again and he said "Fun" Now that wasn't in the script, neither of them...the script of my life or even the one we were supposed to be doing. "Soooo...do I get it?" I laughed, a strange sound after the broken heart of a moment ago. "Yes" and the rest is history, or whatever you call a snow white dress and nine months of Hell. Not that I'm complaining I've never been happier, in fact I've never been happy but that's getting ahead again. He moved in with me along with his stupid brother and wanted to see my room...now our room. It was embarrassing, I had pictures and posters and little momentos of him everywhere, even a lock of his hair. Annoyingly I loved the way his eyes sparkled as he laughed, because in my heart I was laughing too. // (ignore those) We lived in nearly perfect bliss until Christmas when he dropped an atom bomb on me. There was a small box under the tree with my name on it. A tiny box of torture. The suspense consumed me...I beggged, I pleaded, and I pouted. I used almost every weapon I had to my name but he just smiled and hid it when I started going for it and shaking it. My love for him wouldn't let me spoil his surprise so I kept my powers in check not that I believe for an instant Xanatos would have let me peek. Then finally on Christmas morning, I was allowed to open the box that had become a holy grail to me. It felt sinful but you couldn't have found an amount of money that could keep me from doing it anyway. Inside that box was a ring that seemed to contain the stars inside it's glowing depths, obviously of Xanatos' making. There was a small slip a paper in the box that had four glorious words written on it, 'Will you marry me?' I sat there in silence, we both did. I think he may have been worried I'd say no, but nothing could make me even consider refusing him. I just couldn't bring myself to say anything for a moment. So many questions danced in my head. Someone wanted to marry me? Knowing what I was? It was something I had never even dreamed could happen but somehow it did. After a while Hiro got up to call Shuichi, probably to tell him that he had been rejected but I stopped him with a single word "Yes". His eyes lit up and the most beautiful smile spread across his face, and then as expected he went to call Shuchi anyway no doubt to ask what he should do...as if that fool would know. So that is how I started my journey to my new name. Nalaya Nakano, a clash of cultures perhaps but it sounds like love to me. |