Rabid URT SLAV trainung Manaul! patent pendinng! no gamers! no gammers! Whee!

NOW you ar a real Grean Master which mean you now can have FUN WITH your slav! Here are things you can du to have even more fun with your slav than is ordinarily permited in reeel life.after al there is no such thing as reel life when we are on Gro! You can demand al kind of things frum your slav beyong pealing the usual grape and fetching you towels and chocklates and faning you with paeacock fethrus while yu are in the tub, since this is standard protocol most of the tim anyway. Get crative with yur slav- after al, this is yur chance to test thire absolut devoshun and make them realy feel their place as SLAVS AT YUR FEET which is alway alwya TERRIBLE  SERIUS!

1. Make them dance. Or put them throug they paces with sily possitions . Who care if they cannot mov a bit since they are at the computr typing all the time. they wil LEARN or be DISSIPLINED.  the funky chiken is a good one but beter still is the macarena. sped up the record or tape and make them do it superfast at about 145 rpm, and spin around around around and sing like one of the chipmunks, a good laff especialy if you have som helium on hand or at least some thunderbird pop top wine and some chetos.

2. Get thir credit cards and go on a shoping trip. SLAVS are not alowed money anyway as as their MASTUR you have a rite to plese yurself with al the litel luxuries that make Masteree so fun. Get to wiliams sonoma and charge an ebonie studed fondue set and throe in some rosewod salad tongs and a monogramed ice bucket and chandelier and why not a rilly good imported cognac older then your ma. What the hel.

3.  Make them dress silly. ridiculous shoes are easie to find for delicite kajire especialy those clunky seventies pimpshoes, look for some with the live goldfish in tha heel. other gud ideas inclute but are not limmited to: dragon ladie nails with gold apliques or a rhinestone embeded in the tooth, wooly seventies wookie boots and nehru jackets made of puce polyester and anyting with fake fur or dresing hur like princes leai in a metal bikini mad of tinfoil. hee hee.

4.  Comand a hair cut or other imposible hairdo. Look at the SLAV and think: How can i make this slav give me a hysterical laffing fit? short hair it can be dyed with leopard spots or spraypainted something like denis rodman or maybe yu can shave yur own name in slav's hair all the way around. long hair can be permed like Shaft into a giant leaping impresive afro regardles of nationality of the slav and tiny plastic toys fixed into it like a permantn xmas tree complet with blinking lites speling HAPY YOM KIPUR. a drippy jheri curl is tough to do on a white gril but try it anywa. after al it is not your own hair so who care? usualy it grow back.

5.  Hav them tell off the boss, mother, cops etc.  here is yur chance to hav a proxy tel off YOUR authorite figure.if they get throne in jail at least the SLAV wil get a fre meal. gret chance to stand by and have the SLAV tel your boss what an idiot he is.

6.  The slav shuld change religon for yur amusement. Always a wizard wheeze. Hav them tromp around the neughborhood dutifuly with jehova's witness pamphlets, tractates, nailing objecktions to dors of churches etc in a renactment of martin luther. beter yet have them hire out time on local akses cable and talk about ufos and aproaching comunist revolution or something. Then hav them go back to the rabbi or minister and have them say they changed their minds and are going back to beng whatever they were befor.

7.  Control their diet. bubblegum, necco waffers, scotch and soda only for the first seven days, then nothing may be eaten that is cooked, grien or red, etc. kind of like a science experiment with thos mice but on a larger scal. See how long they can go withot geting scurvy or peligra and tring to eat the walpaper.

8.  lengthen yur title. 'Master' is very fin and gud but why not 'Master My God Jeez Wow Lord Bigger in every posible way than any other Guy and who has a briliant Brain and dress groovy and Is realy excelently hung like a mity bosk?' quite a mouthful but after a while the slav wil lurn to say it gud, especialy in frunt of important company like the pope or mom or something. Other aceptebale tituls inclued:

1. The Most Honorable Viscount Right Honorable Lord INSERT NAME HERE of Weston-Super-Mar, Open 24 Hours a Day, 7 Days a Week, 365 Days a Year
2. Your Excellency, And You are Sooo Very Excellent, I mean Fershure, Totally
3. Your Bestness

9. Depriv SLAVS of slep. Always a gud idea if they have job too, teach them a leson about rela life and YOU,they should alway be redy for a cal in the midle of the night perhaps a 4 AM telling them about yur dream or perhaps just a random comment. ramble on about yur day and ignore snoring sounds from the other end of the phon. then give a surpriz quiz. laff at the panic.

9. chang their reading marteriel. all magazins in the house shuld be chaged from inteltectural material, which never helps slavs anywa, to liter reading materireal focusingon sex or other flufy things that a slav should think about anywa and not bother her prity litle head with things like curent news or anything that present an opinion.  here is a conversion chart to help you.

-----------------Former Reading Matereal--------------------------------Converts To------------------
                            Drudge Report                                                          Cosmoploitan
                            New Yorker                                                              Husler
                            New york Times                                                        Playboy
                            Atlantic Monthly                                                        ladie's home jurnal
                            Utney Reader                                                            Readers digest + 2 valium
                            USA today                                                                USA today
                            
10. Chane their name oficialy! Furget hte online stuf. Go to court and get it done gud and hav them chang their drivers liscense and libary card etc too. Here you can go wild with the new name which is a grate deal of fun. SLAVS should take the nam whatever the master give them, so names like boffo, binky and yub-yub are always cute especialy if ther is a contrast betwen first and last name like Boffo Aron-Spiegelman or Spam rothschild or Binky Kennedy.  Spel ther names backwards and se if that is funy. Or get a new nam that mean something ridiculous in a foreign alnguage like 'kitabun' or 'Waffenpostampthof'. other picks for SLAVS inclues: Rusty Slutz, Bonnie Balls, Emma Hoser or Eileen Dover. tri it and se if the judge laff or at least lower ridiculous filing fee out of simpathy.


Wasnut that FUN? And now we se just a litel fun you can have with a wiling animal just wating to be comanded. Al in al YU are the MASTUR! YO have total control over al aspect of your slav and must asert your dominants and control whenevr you can to alow the slav to grow in hur devoupment. Ultimatly GRO is all aoubt how much fun yu can have! Rite?
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