Welcome to the Rabid Urt! We are an online Grorean tavenr, the tavern rules for the Rabid Urt! Here are the ruls for the Rabid Urt! Okay!
1. We are not an NKZ whick means that Ops will KILL all online persons by typing in caps!
BANG BANG BANG ! YOU ARE DEAD!
and kicking them out of the channel if you say or do aything that anoys them. All Greoans who are reely kilt online are xpected to act dead and play dead as realy as possible! We are all adults here! We take this serious! No gamers!
1a. Dragonsshould all be leashed while in the tavern! if you ar eplaying a dragon you must not leave your virtual dragon messes behind we have no time to clean up after your dragon!
1b. The council of Greans meets once a week to decide inportnat stuff having to do with our tavern! if you are not on the council email to be on the council! No gamers!
2. Trainig of slaves will be offered for three Ahn each Tuedsay night at the Rabid Urt which wil include everything a online Grean kajira should know, namely how to type faster and basic PC repair. The First girl of the tavern has the initials FiGi after her colar and everyone will try to figure out what the hell it means. Redsilk gurls, who have showed they know how to give cybersex will be required to put a 'r' after their online colars. Yellowsilk girls who serve the tavern of the Rabid Urt will have 'y' after thier collars and required to tell ALL patrons before serving the imaginary drinks they serve 'I belong to the Rabid Urt, Long Live the Rabid Urt, Whoopee, Do You Want Fries with That?' Purplesilk girls who chew a lot of gum will have a 'p' after their collars. Bluesilk girls who hav bought lottery tickets tring to get out of their jobs as checkout girls will have a 'b' after their collars. Blacksilk girls who haven't washed their hair in six days because they've been at the computer neglecthing everything else will be treated with absolute adoration. Plaidsilk girls basicaly sit around a lot because they are weird lossers. Girls with personalized license plates welded to their collars will be laffed at. Whitesilk girls who are terrible typists or who prefer actual sex to typing will be ignored.  No Gamers! No Gamers!
3. The Rabid Urt is requried to have at least one slave named "Amber" or some variation on
"Amber" in channel at any one time. If there are no slaves named "Amber" then one will have to be temporarily renamed, including the tavern Mascot, the Rabid Urt.
4. No Gamers!
4a. Absolutely no male slavs alowed! Male slavs do not exist on Gro and wil be KILLED!
4b. Unless they are dragons!
4c. And they clean up their virtual messes!
4d. But not after 6 pm, Tuesday through Thurday, on alternate sides of the street reserved for street cleaning.
4e. There will be a written quiz after these rules.  Be ready!
4f. Contact the Council about rules 4a through 4d! The council meets once a wek to talk about realy impotant isues having to do with the future of the Rabid Urt!
5. Two drinks cost less than one but you must drink them both.
6. Master's are always right!
6a. Even with the apostrophe's!
7. SLAVES are REQUIRED to kneel immediately upon the entrance of any FreePerson (patent pending) and show their respects thusly, head down!:
BOO shakalakaBOO shakalaka BOOM!
YAR shakalakaYAR shakalaka ZOOM!
Also slavs MUST beg to leave and beg to come back in again, must beg to stand up,think,cough, pee, drink, eat, sneeze, breath, and to kneel! And no monopolizing the channel with begging!
9. No Rule 9. Go straight to Rule 10. Do not pass Go.
10. See Rule 9.
11. If y<6, and yz<9, then cos (8/1,299) is 3.142431232.
12. White: KnxK (5e-4f).
13. Slaves are expected to show respect at all times to everyone espectially FreePersons (patent pending) by prefacing everything they say with really florid and long apologies. Remember, if you are a slave, you are really sorry!
14. 
15. See [ss. 13-21] for rules on general conduct and disability waiver. If your annual household income meets or exceeds $20,000, you may be eligible for a special 'Annuity Tax' which will tax you more than if you decided to file your taxes in the ordinary way. Leveraged buyouts will take place, increasing the flange of the motorpiece unless the flibbergibbet touches the metallic box keeper. NEVER place plastic bag on head and inhale, unless the Ops tell you to do so. Observable replacements and noticable improvements will be required to file a work permit under the Noticeable Work Reduction Act (1994), sections 13-99, and filed in triplicate with the municipal building which no one can seem to find. It's downtown, right next to the funny movie theatre and the marquee that looks like it's falling off. I saw a movie there once.. now what was it? I think it was something like 'Out of Africa' or something like that; what? Well, no, it really wasn't worth the admission price since it's right next to the bus line and the walls were thin and the noises kept coming in. Sorry. Anyway, after the movie then I decided to go get a bite to eat and guess what was down the street? An Orange Julius stand - I haven't seen one of those in about six years! Imagine, what are they doing out here? I just though that was so cool. I heard though that Orange Julius drink mix has crushed eggshells in it, do you think that's true? You never heard that? I guess it wouldn't hurt you, you know, but that kinda makes me a little like nauseated, you know, cause it's not just supposed to be in there. I'm what? Oh, sorry.  TO PULL TAB, grasp container firmly and pull in the opposite direction of the top of the canister. 
Aim away from face, and refrigerate after opening. IN CASE OF FIRE, break glass with head.
16. This agreement permits you to use one copy of the software, which is licensed as a single product. The software is 'in use' on a computer when it is loaded into the temporary memory (i.e. RAM) or installed into the permanent memory (e.g. hard disk or other storage device) of that computer. You may use the Software on a network provided you have purchased one copy for each user. For 90 days from your date of purchase, we warrant that the media on which the software is distributed are free from defects in materials and workmanship. We will, at our option, refund the amount you paid for it or repair or replace the software provided provided that (a) the defective software is returned to us or an authorized dealer within 90 days from the date of purchase and you have completed and returned the enclosed registration card. These are your sole remedies for any breach of warranty. We disclaim all other warranties, either express or implied, with respect to the Software and the accompanying written materials, including but not limited to implied warranties of merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose.
17. No Gamers!
18. What does not kil you will make you stronger! Gro is NOT FAIR, GRO IS NOT GENTLE!
19. No channel hopping, if you leave and come back again after six hours we will not let you back in! If you come into the Rabid Urt you must be prepared to sit in front of the screen and make lots of pointless inane comments and insult the GAMERS and then you can leave.
20.  No Gamers!
21. NO RETURNS without reciept!
22. Right turns permitted on red 7 AM - 7 PM unless pedestrians present.
23. Slaves who are found to have 'velcro collars' will be banned, after really heavy cybersex.
25. See Rule #24 for a very imporant rule you shuld never break!
26. None of these rules will realy be inforced because the girls are realy to sensitive. The slavs are precious and delicat bunnies that we love to chersih, like a cheaping chick, named Flufy!
The Fabulous Dances of the Rabid Urt

Impossible Dance
This dance begins with the girl crounching in the middle of the floor looking small, typing rapidly on her keyboard. Then she sudenly leap up higher than the solid gold dancers or maybe nijinsky and does a couple of somersaults and tripel gainers and aerial splits before landing on one of the tabbles with her breasts heaving, on her dainty toe. How they got on her toe we will never know. Seductively she looks back over her shoulder, then turning her head, she looks back over her other shulder, than turns her head back to look over her back and around and around and around and around to the front again like a ball turret gun. Everyone is impresed.

Rule 26. No double parking. The white zone is for loading and unloading only.

Sorority Party Dance
The slave lies underneath a big paga keg with her mouth open. Then she stand up and rip off her flimsy camisk xposing her vulnerable feminineness for all to see. She howls to the three moons which are really one moon but she's been drinking so much that it looks like three: I'm soooooooooooooooo drunk! Then she falls over.

Wedgie Dance
The slave begins this dance as if she were walking kinda sadly through a magic forst near Cos, the slave girl mysteriously hides behind a tree and tugs at her camisk, then resumes her walk. Suddenly a Master blocks her path; she does not know what to do. He gestures that she face Him and His mighty tool. She, aroused by a waffle iron that large, wiggles first one way, then the other; He wil lnot be denied. He demands her honesty. Thereby she thusly reaches around to her womanly bottom and retrieves her camisk from riding up so damn often. His derisive laffter folows her thru the forst hauntingly.

Crab Dance 
A slave girl stands, wrapped in the paper camisk given to her by a Physician, waiting for Him to arrive as He is already forty ehn late for her sheep dip. Languidly, surreptitish- surrepticsh- surrep- oh, never mind, kinda secretly she lets her hand creep down to her crotch for a good swipe. Ashamed and aroused by her obvious itchiness, she sinks to the floor and wriggles suductively, hoping vainly for relief in the form of cortisone cream.

Rabid Urt Dance
The slav stands seductively hoping for a good chanel on cable TV, nothing is on. After she flip thru about 50 chanels she stand sipping diet pepsi and doing her nails. She sudenly see something out of the corner of her eye, maybe it is a dustbal since she hasnt clened her house since she has ben at the computer all the tim.  No it is an animal. No it is worse, a big rat! She scream and run around the room like a crazy woman screming and screming. Finaly she get a basebal bat and pound the thing to deth.

Oh yeah, Rule 27: No talking in channel. You are required to whisper gossip about anyone who comes into the channel, forcing them to ask for a ping to check their server time and see why everyone's being so quiet. Refuse to talk to the weird ones and the rejects.
Rule 33: Everyone is a reject except you.

La Dree-Tos
A small, fried, yellow crisp triangle, made of the golden Sa-Tarna grain and coated in the powder of rare, shockingly orange, Port Kar cheeses.

Al-Ka-Spamo
A pressed cube of tarsk parts, served studded with Urthen cloves to fool the mighty Warriors into thinking it is a real whole part of tarsk. Served with or without its magical steel coating.
 
Beverages of Gor    

Dar-Schlitz
A fermented, foaming beverage smelling suspiciously of the urine of rabid urts. Served in peculiar, decorative canisters that have withstood the centuries.  Try to drink as much as possible to withstand the dances.

Rule 28: Do not try to actually serve drinks to anyone in the tvern as this wil ruin the computer.

Ovaltine
Thick, dark and gummy, thinned with bosk milk. Provides 12 necessary minerals and Vitamin C!

My Master by littlelittle{BIG}   

My slavery by littlelittle{BIG}   

13.00 <BIG>knel, litle one
13.01 *littlelittle kneels*
13.01<BIG>All My life or at least for the last eight months since i have not goten any sex they way i wante it, I have waited for one such as you. Now you apear to me in a butiful silks and you are like no one else i hav ever met on the computer ever. If we ever meet or if i see a pictur less than six years old i promise i will mary you on the spot. Do you beg my colar.
13.03<littlelittle> Yes Master!
13.03<BIG> Very wel then.
*Disconnected from server*
13.24<BIG> Sorry got disconnected. Can you see Me?
13.25<littlelittle>Hello?
13.26<BIG>Hello... can someone ping Me please
13.27<littlelittle>Helloo? Master?
*Disconnected from server*
13.32<BIG>My little one?
13.32*littlelittle flies to Him kneeling spearding her knees wide with her hed to the floor  in tower nadu position
13.32 *BIG looks DOWN at her
13.34 <BIG> are you redy to chang your life slave girl and leave your job and move to new jersey and become my slave IRL forever? oh by the way i don't have a job yet but should get one soon
13.35<littlelittle>---New Jersy?! i thought you lived in washington
13.16<BIG>knel!
13.17*littlelittle kneels*
13.18<BIG> LOCKING THE COLLAR ON TINGHT.
13.19<littlelittle{BIG}>looks up at her master
13.20<BIG>SORRY got caps lock on
13.21<littlelittle{BIG}>Thank You, Master!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Disconnected from server*
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Thank you for your visit to the Rabid Urt!  Wei hope that yur stay will be fun and you will waste yet anuther six hours of yr time you will never get back again you could have spent reading a book, or cooking a meal, or exercising in the gym, or sewing a quilt, or learning Portugese, or learning calculus, or painting a painting, or having a screw, or giving a screw, or taking a dump, or reading the paper, or watching a film, or writing a song, or drawing, or reprogramming your computer, or coloring your hair, or planning a dinner party, or learning how to make yogurt, or doing volunteer work, or helping a child finish her homework, or helping your wife with her extra work, or repairing your radiator, or fixing the plumbing, or massaging your husband's back, or cleaning the house, or writing a poem, or learning how to write poems, or gardening, traveling, singing, planning a vacation, writing your parents, writing your siblings, designing a house, contacting your broker, roasting a turkey, trimming your toenails, reorganizing your closet, cleaning out your bureau drawers, giving birth, trying to get pregnant, trying to get unpregnant, making jewelry, making pasta, baking bread, retreading tires, sawing wood, digging potatoes, refininshing your living room, refinishing your dining room table, getting your car off the blocks on your front lawn, trying to hybridize corn, dancing around the room, learning yoga, decorating a cake, learning genetics, getting corrective orthodontia, polishing your nails, polishing the floor, rewiring all the broken lamps in your house, replacing the bulbs in the hallway stair lights, contacting your local volunteer agency, talking to your spiritual counselor, relaxing in a hot bath, finding out what atoms are made of, helping someone learn math, helping someone learn how to fold a fitted sheet, helping someone learn how to read, keeping company with a sick person, reading to an old person, making a horse costume for some children, or learning how to keep bonsai trees. Oh well!

Read our Guestbook. Check up on what your online enemies sa abot the Rabid Urt!
Sign our Guestbook We wil use your respondses to track you down and insult you! OopS! Oh wel! ANd now read the Rabit Urt TRANING MANUAL. Because.. why not?