| Yes, I had my first daughter, Shantal when I was 14. I can see all your jaws dropping to the floor as I speak. LOL It's O.K. I am used to it. I remember when I was pregnant with her. Oh, the stares I got. And after she was born, people automatically asked my MOM how old she was when we were all together in a grocery store or something. My favorite was when they complimented me on being such a good big sister!! :o) Once, I had to prove I was her mother b4 they let me authorize her medical care. Anyway, I was a pretty good little girl..I got straight A's in school & did whatever my mom & dad told me. I was a real Daddy's little girl. But after my dad died, when I was 9, things in my house became different. His death was a real shock to all of us, so I felt lost in the Chaos. So at about 12, I don't really know what happened, but I decided to run my life the way I wanted. I thought no one could tell me what to do. I started ditching Junior High School, and being with boys. I craved the attention the older boys gave me because I looked older and dressed more revealing. I think my mother was still so deep in her grief, she just wanted me to be happy. So she tried to pour understanding and leniency into my lap. It didn't work. I just walked all over her. I disrespected her a lot, and by the time I was almost 14 I had been missing so much school, the state wanted to take my mom to court. I had been running away, experimenting with drugs, and spending the night with my boyfriend, Andrew. I met Andrew when I was 11 and he was 13. We lived across the street from eachother. We were friends at first, but as we got older it began to go further. The age difference, although slight in adult years, was great. He was ready to have sex when he was 16 (he already had), but I was only 14. I wanted him to like me, so I agreed. We did not think about using birth control. I did not think pregnancy could happen to me. After all, I had dropped out of 8th grade, was doing drugs and drinking alcohol-what was the big deal about having sex? I found out I was pregnant on January 7, 1994. I was 7 weeks pregnant. Throughout my pregnancy I considered abortion, until it was too late, and adoption. I was scared to have a baby, and Andrew had begun to get verbally abusive. He would call me things like fat or tell me to shut up. I did not recognize this as a problem, but I knew I did not like it. My mom told me that she knew I was going to get pregnant and she did not want me to have an abortion or give it up for adoption. Andrew did not either. He promised he would be nicer, marry me, and we would live happily ever after. I began attending classes at a local school for teen mothers. There they taught me how to take care of a baby, the importance of good nutrition while I was pregnant and offered peer support. I did decide, after all the appointments with adoption agencies and many sleepless nights, to parent my baby. She was born September 1, 1994, 13 days before my 15th birthday. From then on I did continue with my education, and I held partime jobs like telemarketing and daycare assistant positions to support my baby. I also received Social Security Survivors benefits from my father. I lived back and forth with Andrew, when we got along, and my mom when we didn't. I got my first apartment alone, without Andrew, when I was 18 yrs old. it was a 1 bedroom. I had graduated high school, and I was attending Red Rocks Community College with a major in Criminal Justice. I finished 1 year. My relationship with Andrew was rocky and unstable. He is an alcoholic and still has problems with abusiveness. When Shantal was 4 years old, I became pregnant a second time. Fearing being left alone with 2 children, I decided to get married. I married Andrew on November 28,1998. My family was surprised, after all we had been through, but they welcomed him into the family with open arms. Unfortuately I miscarried in December 1998, 3 days before Christmas. The burden of the loss was great and so we decided to try to have another one. |