| V. With Ruby dead due to a bitter poison apple, (she broke her tooth on the seeds), Star shines on to a new love, no one. She is tired of feeling sorry for herself, but doesn't know how to pull herself together, she's drifted so far from the shores of sanity she can't even see land anymore. The tides pull an arm and leg in each direction while she screams in the middle, and people look on scratching their scalps asking, "What's on next?" They watch her slip further into madness each day and waking night she finds herself still alive. Star is tired. She is tired, just fucking tired of all the rumors running around her scrambled mind. It smolders burnt toast, can you smell it? Singed hair and red eyes, she no longer sleeps, just smokes ciggarette after ciggarette, ashes piling up in a circle around her, tiny gray mountains filling her lungs. Star strikes out with mildewed claws and hardened eyes, pushing away voices and rude questions. Eenie, meenie, miney, mo, which one's lying who can know? Her head is filled with so many thoughts, disconnected from eachother, symbols and poems and memories and dreams and faces and voices and colors and sounds and songs sung by cherubs of rock and roll. Where will it stop? She can't find quiet in herself, nothing ever concludes. She always has to take that next breath, no matter how long she holds it in. Does everyone feel this way? she wonders hysterically over the phone. She is bleeding herself across the line but suddenly it goes dead. And finally she understands. You're not worth much unless you're worth a good fuck. Wait thru winter snow frozen trees singing heavy boughs and avalanche songs. Pretend you understand when tears bring sighs of boredom. Walk thru the storm together alone laughing on the outside but knowing on the inside that truth is afterall not true. Look into the eyes of all and the heart of you and make a decision, is it better to be shining alone to no one or dull together? Turn up the sound, crank up the sun, wash away the moon beams, send them to hell and beyond. Burn your history. Begin a new chapter in this rediculous story. And most of all run. Run frantic screams away from memories. IV. Back to main page |