Part 1
Why are you such a fucking prick?
I mean, of all the coniving assholes I've met in my life, you have got to be the worst. The awful bastard son of Satan.
Maybe I'm exaggerating a bit.
Maybe not.
Maybe you just need to grow up.
You pulled me in again.
I gave up, but you pulled.
I let go, put you pulled.
I threw it away, but you pulled.
Take it one day at a time.
No need to rush. No need to hurry.
Why does it feel like everything is fleeting? Why does it feel we don't have enough time?
I pushed you away again.
You gave in, but I pushed.
You held in, but I pushed.
You clinged, but I pushed.
Now we stand, somewhere in between.
In the middle. Of nothing. On nothing.
And I'm left wondering...what next?
Part 2
I fucking hate it when people lie to me. HATE IT. I take it very personally and I think I should take it very personally. It may not have seemed to be a big deal to you, but it is to me.
You had me convinced.
You had me sold.
I thought I bought diamonds.
Instead you sold me shit.
Now, I can't tell the difference.
God damn it.
You ruined it.
That's not what I'm all about.
Fears and challenges pool into self-doubt.
My mind may be open,
But my heart remains sealed.
Closed for repairs, until my insecurity is finally healed.
Can I break this bond of hate?
Clear the way for my ultimate fate?
How can just one person make me feel so inferior?
That's what's hidden beneath this happy exterior.
Pencil and paper.
An extension of my heart
Help me find the truth.
Tired of pretending.
Tired of not knowing.
Tired of reading something that just isn't there.
I don't care what you say.
I don't care what you see.
I don't see it.
I look for it.
Did I miss something?
I begin to believe it.
I begin to desire it.
Did I miss something?
I'll believe the delusion.
It's too late.
Too late for a beginning.
To early for it to end.
And now I must ay goodbye to you,
My friend.
There's always a mask. Something no one sees hidden beneath our cool exterior.
Sure, we all have our secrets, but for some reason it walys shocks us when other people have them too. Do we relate better knowing every detail, or do we pretend to understand?
Some people let their mask drop a bit.
I never let mine slip.
Not one inch.
I used to be such an introvert. For the past few year's I've been pretending extrovert. I'd forgotten what it feels like to remember your own problems.
Sometimes everything is right with the word.
(Insert disbelief here)
Don't look at me like that.
Can't a person have a bad day?
No. Leave me alone.
Don't try.
Don't worry.
Don't bug me.
Don't ask me questions.
Forget.
I'm ok.
I think.