Song: My Fairy King
Artist: Queen
Album: Queen
Actual lyric: "Pearls for poor man's eyes."
My mishearing: "Birds will poop and die."
Comments: I think lavatorial humor is very funny. When I first heard the song, I wasn't really paying attention to the words. But then I did, and I suddenly thought, "Wait a moment - that can't be what he's really saying...right?" So then I looked it up. Unfortunately, I cannot listen to this song anymore without laughing.
Song: Immigrant Song
Artist: Led Zeppelin
Album: Led Zeppelin III
Actual lyric: "Our only goal will be the western shore!"
My mishearing: "I wanna go where there's a restroom show!"
Comments: Once again a lavatorial mishearing. I also thought the preceding lines "all we see is threshing oar" were something else ("always sweet, pressing on", but they aren't funny like this one). Actually, I'd bet I misheard the whole song. What's embarrassing about this one is that I once got my sister in my room to hear my mondegreen and ask her if she thought that was the actual version. She didn't. I further embarassed myself by singing this very loudly in public.
Song: Stairway to Heaven
Artist: Led Zeppelin
Album: Led Zeppelin IV
Actual lyrics: "And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our souls
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll."
My mishearing: "And there's some wine on down the road
I shoulda shown you what I stole
There walks for late what we all know
Why shines my light and wants a show
I've been redeemed and cursed for gold
And if you listen very hard
Then she will come to you alone
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll"
Comments: I thought they were the real lyrics for the longest time. But then I decided to do Stairway to Heaven for a talent show and decided to check up on the lyrics to make sure I had them correctly. So I did, and then I found out what they really were. Except I liked a few of mine better (mostly "she will come to you alone"), so I sometimes sing those instead. I have a lot of Led Zeppelin mondegreens. My bass teacher says that he thinks they're mispronouncing them on purpose. I agree.
Song: Night in the City
Artist: Electric Light Orchestra
Album: Out of the Blue
Actual lyric: "Drivin' you insane!"
My mishearing: "Drivin' USA!"
Comments: Part of the reason I knew this couldn't be correct is because ELO is British and therefore would probably not write a song about driving USA.
Song: Shangri-La
Artist: Electric Light Orchestra
Album: A New World Record
Actual lyric: "Faded like the Beatles on Hey Jude"
My mishearing: "Faded like the Beatles on a dude"
Comments: When I heard it, I first thought "Huh? What the heck!" I assume the lyrics refer to the fact that, on Hey Jude, the song fades out at the end.
Song: Steppin' Out
Artist: ELO
Album: Out of the Blue
Actual Lyric: "Like a rolling stone"
My mishearing: "Pack the Rolling Stones"
Comments: I assumed it was just some guy telling someone he was leaving (either on a trip or moving), and so he wanted to pack his ol' Stones records to listen to them wherever he was going.
Song: All My Love
Artist: Led Zeppelin
Album: In Through the Out Door
Actual lyric: "At last the arm is straight, the hand to the loom"
My mishearing: "At last the arm has strayed the hand to the loo"
Comments: Once again we see another potty-humor Led Zeppelin mondegreen, courtesy of Pippin herself.
Song: Anyone For Tennis
Artist: Cream
Album: Wheels of Fire
Actual lyric: "The auctioneer is bidding for a box of faded years."
My mishearing: "The auctioneer is bidding for a box of lady's ears."
Comments: ...No comment.
Song: Tell the Truth
Artist: Derek and the Dominos
Album: Crossroads
Actual lyric: "The whole world's shaking now."
My mishearing: "The hobo's singing now."
Comments: I'll admit, that's one of my stupider mondegreens.
Song: The Prophet's Song
Artist: Queen
Album: A Night at the Opera
Actual lyric: "So grey is the face of every mortal"
My mishearing: "So great is the face of every fada"
Comments: A fada is one of those nifty little accents they put over Irish letters (like the one over the E in S�an).
Song: Crazy Train
Artist: Ozzy Osbourne
Album: Blizzard of Ozz
Actual lyric: "Inheriting troubles"
My mishearing: "Inherently gerbils"
Comments: I guess I had rodents on the brain when I first heard it (understandably; I'd spent the day showing my hamsters to kids at a school). My friends tell me that when Ozzy Osbourne speaks, nobody can understand what he's saying. I guess they're right.
Song: Lightning's Hand
Artist: Kansas
Album: Point of Know Return
Actual lyric: "I command lightning's hand!"
My mishearing: "I command lightning-sand!"
Comments: I guess I should have known this was incorrect. I mean, the title is Lightning's Hand! Lightning-sand conjures up a rather cool picture in my head, though.
Song: Paranoid
Artist: Black Sabbath
Album: Paranoid
Actual lyric: "People think I'm insane because I am frowning all the time"
My mishearing: "People think I'm insane because I am browning overtime"
Comments: Browning overtime...so, is he a turkey or something? I dunno, maybe turkeys brown overtime or something? Hmm, this seems to prove that when Ozzy speaks, none can understand him.
Psst...these didn't even have the worst one. Wanna see my worst mondegreen?