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Q: What's the difference between unloading a truckload of dead babies and�a truckload of bowling balls?
A: You can use a pitchfork on the dead babies.

Q: Why do they boil water when a baby's being born?
A: So that if it's born dead, they can make soup.

Q: What's red and bubbly and scratches on glass?
A: A baby in the microwave.

Q: What's white, red, and runs in a circle?
A: A baby with one foot nailed to the floor.

Q: Did you know that it takes five babies to make just one bottle of baby oil?

Q: What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller?
A: A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler!

Q: What's red and squirms in the corner?
A: A baby playing with a razor blade.

Q: What is worse than running a baby over with a car?
A: Getting it out of the tires.

Q: Why should you put a baby into a blender feet first?
A: So you can see the expression on his face.

Q: What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies?
A: I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

Q: What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A: You can't store dead babies in a gay man.

Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: Mix eight ounces root beer and three scoops dead baby. Top with whipped cream.

Q: How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles?
A: Nail its other hand to the floor.

Q: How many dead babies can fit in a barrel?
A: 4.5.

Q: How do you prevent a baby from exploding in the microwave?
A: Poke holes in it with a coat hanger.

Q: What bounces up and down at 70mph?
A: A baby tied to the back of a truck.

Q: What's more fun than strapping a baby to a clothesline and then spinning it around at 100 mph?
A: Stopping it with a shovel.

Q: What's blue and yellow and found at the bottom of the pool?
A: A baby with slashed floaties.

Q: What's green, black, and yellow and found at the bottom of the pool?
A: The same baby three weeks later.

Q: What's red and yellow and floats?
A: Floaties with a slashed baby.

Q: What's grosser than seven dead babies in a dumpster?
A: One dead baby in seven dumpsters.

Q: What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby get for Christmas?
A: Cancer.

Q: What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A: A baby in a trash compactor.

Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
A: When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.

Q: What's the difference between a baby and a bagel?
A: You can put a bagel in the toaster. You have to put the baby in the oven.

Q: Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first?
A: So you can see the expression on its face.

Q: What goes plop, plop, fizz, fizz?
A: Twins in an acid bath.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house?
A: Depends how hard you throw them.

Q: What is the difference between a dead baby and a VHS tape?
A: The VHS tape doesn't stink when you leave it out in the sun.

Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and an onion?
A: You don't cry when you chop up a dead baby.

Q: What's white and red and hangs from a telephone wire?
A: A baby shot through a snowblower.

Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a peanut butter cup?
A: The dead baby won't stick to the roof of your mouth.

Q: What's pink and spits?
A: A baby in a frying pan.

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