"Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live." Mark Twain
"If you want a thing done well, do it yourself." Napoleon I
"Whatever limits us, we call Fate." Ralph Waldo Emerson
"There never was a good war or a bad peace." Benjamin Franklin
"There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more." Woody Allen
"Always do right. This will surprise some people and astonish the rest." Mark Twain
"Be good and you will be lonesome." Mark Twain
"There is no little enemy." Benjamin Franklin
"I think my new thing will be to try to be a real happy guy. I'll just walk around being real happy until some jerk says something stupid to me." Jack Handey
"What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet." Woody Allen
"Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead." Benjamin Franklin
"If there was a terrible storm outside, but somehow this dog lived through the storm, and he showed up at your door when the storm was finally over, I think a good name for him would be Carl." Jack Handey
"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education." Mark Twain
"Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point." Jack Handey
"The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet." Aristotle
"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)
"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is."
- Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut
"Do, or do not. There is no 'try'."
- Yoda
"Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed."
- George Burns
"The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad."
- Salvador Dali
"If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance."
- George Bernard Shaw
"Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws."
- Plato (427-347 B.C.)
"Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe."
- H. G. Wells (1866-1946)
"Talent does what it can; genius does what it must."
- Edward George Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873)
"If you are going through hell, keep going."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
- Voltaire (1694-1778)
"If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars."
- J. Paul Getty (1892-1976)
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
- Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931)
"Maybe this world is another planet's Hell."
- Aldous Huxley (1894-1963)
"Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact."
- George Eliot (1819-1880)