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| Making Headlines |
| The latest news from the Beige Kingdom. |
| 'Effie Is No Drug Cheat' Coach defiant about doping charge |
| Disgraced canine Olympian, Effie will appeal against the guilty ruling in the Arbitration Court. Routine testing found traces of marinade and cod liver oil, known widely among canine circles to drastically improve performance and stamina. Effie's coach, Annie Fannie, remains defiant about the charges and is convinced that there is a smear campaign against Effie by rival dogs jealous of her talent on the uneven bars. Effie has refused to comment on the matter but mentioned that she will be appearing on Celebrity Squares with Survivor Richard Hatch. |
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| Effie pictured at the Athletes Village before the scandal |
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| High Priestess Set for Stardom |
| Beige Castle: The life and times of the High Priestess of Beige thus far is set for the silver screen. Representatives for the High Priestess have confirmed that she is currently in negotiations with a studio, reportedly Steven Spielburg's Dreamworks. The High Priestess has so far refused to comment on the matter, but did not deny that celebrity look alike Jennifer Aniston is in line for the covetted role. |
| Madam Spank on Assault Charge |
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| Madam Spank was arrested last night for assaulting an undercover police officer. She allegedly accousted the undercover policeman at the infamous Spank Club, which is currently under investigation for tax evasion. The policeman was allegedly struck repeatedly on the backside with an egg flip, requiring hospitalisation. Madam Spank refused to elaborate on the matter, except to say "If he can't stand the heat, he should stay the hell out of the kitchen". She is due back in court on November 25. |
| Madam Spank outside Beige Police Station |
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| Want to be educated on weapons of spank from Madam Spank herself? |