Welcome To My Jokes City

Hello...reader!

I am chheangly or qingli. I have been sending a lot of jokes to my friends. Sometimes I think that it is a waste of time to write jokes, but I am still doing this because it makes most people laugh and happy. After several months of sending jokes, I realize that I have collected so many jokes in my mailbox. Then I think to myself "Hey! Chheangly! why don't you make a web site and send to people to read for fun". So here I am creating this web site for you to enjoy reading.

By the way, not all the jokes are mine. Some of them I read from other web sites which I cannot remember the sources. I think I am not wrong to use some of other people's jokes because I am not selling these jokes but give pleasure to people. All right! enjoy yourself, feel free to have any comments. My email address is: [email protected]

Keep Quiet

A preacher asked some children, "Why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"  

A little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

Single women complain that all good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands. This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.

A Woman With Ugly Baby

A woman got on a bus, holding a baby. The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.

The man seated next to her sensed that she was embarrassed. So he asked her what was wrong?

"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said, "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."

"You're right," the woman said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."

"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

Chheangly At School

Teacher: I'd like to ask everybody a question. What is the fastest thing in the world?

A student puts his hand up and says: Thinking is the fastest thing in the world.

Another student: No, it is the blinking of our eyes which is the fastest.

The third student: Well, I think it is the light which is the fastest because as soon as you turn it on, everywhere gets bright at the same time.

Chheangly: Aiya, you guys never give a correct answer. I tell you, those three answers are never correct and the correct answer is "Diarrhea"

Teacher and everybody: What do you mean, Chheangly? What does that have to do with the fastest speed in the world.

Chheangly: I tell you what! last night while I was lying in my bed. I had Diarrhea. As soon as I realized, it automatically came out less than a second before I could even think, or blink or light up the room".

Teacher: Well, the lesson I have prepared is about the fastest speed in the world but it seems like Chheangly can give a better answer than I can because I myself also missed it.

Tell The Biggest Lie

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"

One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."

Teacher replies: "You should be ashamed of yourselves," "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."

The two boys decide to give the ten dollars to the teacher, because he tells lies better.

Meet With Doctor

Patient: "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts." The doctor: "What do you mean?"  

Patient: "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."  

The doctor: "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"

Adam goes to see the doctor:

Adam: Doctor, I don't know what's wrong with me, I cannot sleep well, it takes me so long to get to sleep.

Doctor: (After checking), Aiya there is nothing wrong with you. Everything is perfectly all right. All you need to do is trying not to bring troubles into your bed when you go to sleep. Just leave those things aside.

Adam: Yes, doctor, but I cannot do that because my wife refuses to sleep alone.

Who is ugly?

The two girls are in the same room. One of them is chatting with a guy whom she has never known before and the other is ironing her clothes. After a while, a girl who is chatting starts complaining "How come? As soon as I sent the picture to him, he stopped replying me. He doesn't want to chat with me any more"

The girl who is ironing the clothes says "Aiya, why don't you look at your face? You are so ugly, as soon as the guy saw your picture he was scared away, no one would want to chat with you lah"

The girl who is chatting replies "But the picture I sent to him was yours, not mine"

How  To Get Along With Your Spouse

Chheangly: Hi! Pastor Pen, I have a problem.

Pastor Pen: What's up?

Chheangly: What shall I do to get along well with my girlfriend?

Pastor Pen: Chheangly my friend, you need to learn how to close one eye and overlook her mistake. See only the good things she does.

Chheangly: Sounds good, I will try my best, but......... Does that mean I have to close one eye till I get married to her?

Pastor Pen: Well, when she is still your girlfriend, you close one eye but when she is your wife you need to learn how to close both eyes.

Chheangly: What does that mean? You mean everything she does is.........

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