| The List of Least Effective Campaign Slogans A chunk of carp in every toaster. That wet spot sure ain�t urine! He lives in a culvert! Attuned to the needs of the modern day proctologist. She�s an amphibian! Not as cross-eyed as you think! He�s the son of Zorro! The candidate that somersaults. Her name rhymes with a devastating form of cancer. He never wipes! He�s the one in the goat mask. He has only one ball! Say �yes� to garbage cans full of rotting semen! He�s Lord of all that is okra! Vote for Sarah and never eat crickets again! The candidate with open sores. Running the government with the guidance he receives from cat entrails. His scrotum reeks of fresh baked salmon. Still un-convicted of rape! She sleeps in a cat box! His sinuses are huge! The guy with the backward ears. Fat in the right places! Born with an extra femur! He was revealed to Grandma Moses! She sucks the eyes out of children! Unashamed of his role as �Chrissy� in the stage play version of �Three�s Company - Roper is a Doper!� Can�t seem to keep his hands out of his pants! At least she doesn�t openly seep! Guiding us down the straight and narrow path to eternal damnation! Wow, what an idiot! Moths sleep on his gums! He�s got more teeth than your mom! He can crawl inside a dog! She has never been afraid of most shoeboxes! His mother was killed by squirrels! Has tasted the belly button lint of every race in America. Never stops screaming! Runs willy nilly! (�Fun, fun, silly willy!�) Former mayor of �Shiny Pants�! Pulls rabbits out of his nose! (well ... he says they�re rabbits.) Her left ear lobe is sort of chick-pea shaped. |
| by Robert N. Kirkpatrick |
| Quite Absurd Digest - The Homepage for Those Who Stare |
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