Books That Didn�t Make the New York Times Bestseller List

                                                                                            
by Caldwell and Kirkpatrick


Extreme Close Up Photography - �The Nipples of Ronald Reagan�               Water Bottom

Johnny Urinestream (Boy King of India) # 2                                              The Alpo Cookbook

Tom Bosley�s Guide to Fertile Nostrels                                                     True Tales of Minor Discomfort

My Feet Smell Like Rotting Carp (by Kathy Lee Gifford)                             Say �Yes!� to Hysteria

The Awful Truth Behind William Shatner�s Hedge                                       Why Old People Squirt

The Little Engine that Exploded and Decapitated 3 Pre-Schoolers                Peanut Butter for Dummies

The Planet of Extremely Huge Okra                                                        �Yes, You Too Can Be Lint Free!�

Snoop Doogy Doo (On the Trail of a Rap Star�s Underpants)                                   Absurd Digest

Stephen King�s �Somewhere Along the Line, I�m Gonna Kill that Son of a Bitch!�

Men Are From Mars/Women Are From Venus/Dan Rather is from Nevada

George W. Bush�s �Blueprint for a Happier Stool�                                              Antique Road Kill Show

The Big Book of Chiggers                              �Pointless: The Search for Vienna Sausages in Oprah Winfrey�

Butt Crusties (A Photo Essay of the Life of Richard Simmons)                                   �Never Breathe Again!�

National Geographic Guide to Drafty Hallways                                            Dictionary of Mis-Spelled Words

Wrestling the Rabbits of the Outback (by Steve Erwin)                           Real Stories of Science Fiction

Curious George Takes a Dump                                                                 Dog Worming By Candlelight

�How to Cure the Criminally Insane, So That They Can Be Executed�

Roof Top Cattle Drives (previously released under the title, �The Price of Falling Beef�)

Biscuit Tins of the Damned                                                                 Jo Jo, The Human Sesame Seed

The History of Unbathed Fornicators                                                      Big Mary Crap Britches

Frank Broyles : Satan�s Liaison to College Football                                Little Mary Spot Britches

The Photographic History of Toothpicks                                            Great TV Shows for the Whole Family

The Important Works of Regis Philbin                                     Poisonous Berries of Southwestern Ardmore

Porter Wagoner�s Favorite Chinese Recipes That Don�t Contain Dog Meat

Harry Potter & The Jock Strap Full of Ticks                                     How to Swallow a Hamster
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