| Watson: Behind! Oh, my behind! (sound of closing music) End of Act 5 Advertisement: Announcer: So ends another exciting case from The Medical Records of Sherlock Holmes. We rejoin our heroes, in the sitting room, of 221 B Baker Street. Holmes: My new penis is a surgical masterpiece, Watson! You�ve done an excellent job! Take a look, Lestrade. What do you think? Lestrade: It�s so huge! Where will you ever put it? Holmes: Wherever it is needed, Inspector! (patriotic music starts to play) Wherever a people cry out for justice! Wherever a child goes hungry! Wherever a woman seeks comfort, from the world�s toils and snares! Wherever cattle need stampeding! Watson: Here, here! Holmes: I Will Be There! Me and my penis! To lift the spirits of the downtrodden! To thwart the forces of evil! To punish those who have done wrong! To ram justice home! To coat society, with a sticky white substance that smells of bleach! Watson: (applauding) Excellent speech, Holmes! I�ve never been so deeply moved. Holmes: Thank you, Watson. You may go, Mrs. Hudson. Mrs. Hudson: Very good, sir. (sound of door shutting) End of Program |
| The Mystery of the Sphincter Murders |
| by Robert N. Kirkpatrick |
| Absurd Digest |
| The Homepage for Comedy of the Absurd |
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