journalrebirth

Rebirth

Wednesday November 22nd, 1989

    WOW! What a difference! I have NEVER felt like this before! I never knew it could be like this! I never thought I would be calling myself a Christian, but here I am. I would like to say that I found him, but I do so believe I was led to him and he came to me. I am so glad I have found the Truth. And to think, all this time it was right under my nose. Although I still get down a lot I now have a source of strength. I start to think bad thoughts and my mind instantly sets to prayer. I also now realize that what I feel for Allen is a beautiful and special gift. Something to be cherished forevermore. He means so much to me and though it would sadden me greatly, I know I could let him go if I had to. For I know that whatever the heartache, whatever the sorrow, I will always have the lord to turn to. Even if I should turn away from him and then realize my foolishness, he would always be there for me.

     I try to thank him every day for all the good things in my life. And with all the time that passes, by faith in him increases evermore. One day I will be baptized. That will be the day when I shout out to the world that God is the most important thing in my life and that in him, I give myself completely. I will know when that day will be.

     Now that it is almost Thanksgiving I want to thank you lord for my journey to salvation. Also for allowing me to experience the love I feel for Allen. Please care for him, no matter what course his life may travel. And thank you especially for showing me that life is meant to be lived and that through you we may lead that life happily and to the fullest. I love you lord, AMEN.
                                                                                                                                             ~FIN

It sure would be nice if the rest of my life were like this recorded moment, but this is just the beginning really. And it is a journey I still take as an individual and will take so long as I inhabit this body. The next entry is from my actual journal and it was nearly a year and a half after this note to myself before I began that journal. In all that time there was much struggle and many times I thought I would lose the fight. But God always seemed to pull me through.

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