Warnings: Shounen ai (1+2, 3+4), language (how repetitive...)
Broken Glass
by Seph Lorraine
Chapter Five
Is it wrong when I think about you? Is their some critical error in my mind they enables me to do so? It's so strange to me the way it happens. When my self pity rolls around to slap me in the face, I begin to wonder what you think of me. It's as if nobody matters but you. Though, when such thoughts occur, in my mind you always look down on me; you could never shed me a smile or a kind word, could you?
Thinking of you is like an addiction to me. One too heavy to control. The only thing good about it is I don't risk withdrawal. I can't stop thinking of you. Even if I wanted to.
Daylight streamed in through the partially opened blinds of Heero Yuy's room. It didn't bother the Wing pilot as much as it would have on a usual weekend, because this time he had already been awake.
He had awoken sometime last night around 3 AM from, what he could only derive to be, something of a nightmare. He had been covered in a cold sweat, seeing in his mind a psychopathic Duo Maxwell cut his precious braid. He had then been kissed. Strangely, it wasn't the dream so much as the origin of the dream that bothered him.
Dreams are based off of happenings in your subconscious brain activity when asleep. Had that reflected him wanting Duo to get a haircut? Was he critisizing himself on his vision? Was he secretly, even to himself, blaming himself on the bad quality of his way of reading people? Had he wanted Duo to kiss him? He stood beside the bed, and began to pace.
Thinking straightly, his mind was clear to avoid the last question, and began with the easiest. His vision was fine. 'Perfect', even, and he knew it. It had to be something deeper than that. Something reflected off of a thought about Duo that day. Secretly, he was satisfied at a rather warm feeling the thought gave him. He must be getting close... or not.
Whatever it was, it was probably better left alone. At least that's the conclusion he came to. He was probably the only one up at this hour to begin with, anyway, so he would have time to start the coffee and get a head start on some computer work.
He slipped on a white wife-beater type of shirt, with a jade short-sleeved over shirt on top. He wore casual jeans, and his hair seemed as wild as ever before. He traveled through the upstairs hallway, and on down the stairway. He proceeded through the downstairs hallway, only to pause as he passed the den entrance. The curtains were pulled shut, though being the light blue pastel colouring they were, the room was still dimly illuminated by the sun, soaking through the cloth.
He thought to step in and check on the braided boy, but hesitated remembering his dream again. Forcing back the thought of his nightmare the night before, he stepped into the room, being as quiet as possible as to not disturb the room's occupant, if he happened to be still asleep. Oddly, the room was in order, unlike it had been all the four weeks Duo had spent in it. To add to the silence of the room, was its vacancy.
Holding back an expression of mild confusion, Heero stepped back out and set back upon his journey to the kitchen. He heard the sound of the coffee pot, before even opening the door, and paused. He slowly extended a hand to press against the hard wood, and peered in. Seeing nothing, at first, he stepped in silently, looking around again.
"Ohayoo..." Duo nearly appeared like Shinigami himself, sitting at the far end of the kitchen table, staring blankly into a mug of coffee, and watching the steam rise slowly. His eyes were distant with darkness and his skin pale, to add to this he looked extremely tired, if not ill.
"Hn." The Wing pilot blinked, lifting an eyebrow slowly in Duo's direction. Letting just a bit of curiosity overcome him, he slowly stepped towards the table, and around to where the braided pilot was sitting. At his movement, Duo looked up at him in confusion.
Heero reached around to to the other boy's back and laid his hand on the long braid trailing down the American's spine. Face becoming blank itself, he muttered, and drew back his hand, to walk over towards the coffee. "...still there."
The braided pilot, reached back and pulled the braid over his shoulder, and looked at it, "Eh? My braid?" He blinked up at Heero, who was now across the kitchen pouring himself a cup of coffee.
The Japanese pilot, glanced at him out of the corner of his eyes and nodded, "You're braid's still there."
Blank silence.
Heero shrugged, and headed back to his room towards his laptop, but before he was out of the kitchen, he turned back, placing the American with a frigid glare, "Can you walk yet?"
Nodding, and still feeling blank, Duo stood, and walked about halfway across the room, to stand by the counter. He did so successfully, the only trouble he had was caused by the cast that still remained on his ankle. Due to his good health condition, and some wild extra ingrediant in Quatre's tea, the bone was almost finished healing at the four week mark of it's break. He smiled, lightly, "At least I don't half to sit on the couch all day anymore. That got old... Really fast." He frowned back down at his coffee. He didn't even know why he had made it. He destested the flavour of the substance, and he hadn't gotten any sleep the night before anyway.
"..." The stoic boy's cobalt eyes had set their gaze on the cast around Duo's ankle, and then moved back up to the boy's face. "...Hn."
Duo stood puzzled as he watched Heero walk away, leaving him alone in the kitchen. His energy wasn't at its normal hype compared to the days he did get sleep, and he wasn't keen on being left alone in confusion. In desperate need of something to do, he followed the boy.
Not a full 30 seconds after Heero had set himself down at his computer than the door opened, allowing entrance to the American pilot. Last time he had come in here it led to a broken ankle, even the week before the broken ankle it had led to a split lip, and even before that there was a trace of memories like a stubbed toe, and a near concusion, injuries were nothing new to Duo Maxwell, nor were they to the Japanese pilot, and it didn't look like the pattern was getting any clearer to the American.
There was a soft thud as the American plopped onto Heero's bed, and sighed. "What 'cha doin'?"
"E-mail." Came the other boy's blunt reply.
"Aa..." He watched as Heero's blank expression stayed to the screen of the laptop. "Heero?"
"Hn." More clicking of the keys, as the windows on the screen changed several times, pulling up a a scroll of addresses and new mail. It was obvious that the perfect soldier's attention now went only to his laptop.
Duo frowned and swung his feet back and forth from the edge of Heero's bed. "Um... Why don't you ever smile?" the question came from no where. His face squenched up as if expecting a fist to come flying and hit him in the face. Though, after a few moments of silence, he opened his eyes to look at the stoic pilot who was paying absolutely no attention to him.
Heero's eyes scanned the information absorbing the text and filing it into his mind. "We have a mission." He spoke monotoniously. No, he hadn't heard the question.
A frown crossed the American's lips just as Heero turned to his direction, a look of realization dawning on the Japanese boy's face suddenly, "Did you say something, Duo?" He blinked, sending a rather quizzical look at the boy on his bed.
Duo lifted himself, walking towards the door, "No... Don't worry about it." He shrugged, and then paused at the door, as he saw Heero was heading in the same direction, "Actually, yes."
The Wing pilot lifted an eyebrow at Duo as he was approaching the doorway.
"Why don't you ever smile?" The braided pilot, looked up to meet Heero's gaze, a shiver running down his spine at the icy blue of his eyes of the other boy, now piercing him with a glare.
Heero had beautiful eyes, Duo thought to himself and then wondered why he had so often failed to notice when he had seen the other boy's cobalt gaze before. He had only in the past seen a blue that matched the eyes of Heero Yuy; that was of Mother Mary's blue robes on the stained glass window in Maxwell church. He was almost hypnotised by the other boy's glare, and tried to look away, however unsuccessful he was.
The boy was silent as he glared at the boy infront of him. "I don't have anything to smile about." Something about this scenario was familiar to him. Duo had been asking him odd questions in his dream, as well. The Japanese pilot almost decided to pinch himself, questioning whether he was awake or not. 'This is another weird dream isn't it?' He questioned no one in his mind.
A deeper frown was apparent on Duo's face as he saw something in the back of Heero's eyes flicker. An uncomfortable feeling, but it was quickly gone. "Well, better get the others, if there's a mission." He was still trying to break the gaze, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.
"Hn." The Wing pilot shoved past Duo and out into the hall without another word. Gaze broken. He ignored the other boy's groan of pain as the American was pushed into the dresser in Heero's hurry to get out of the room. 'Something always happens. Can't break tradition.'
"Oww... My back."
Upon entrance to the kitchen it was apparent Wufei was up, as he sat at the table in a usually calm mood, with the newspaper spread out before him. Quatre still looked out of it, and was refilling the coffee pot as Trowa was pulling out the necessary items to cook breakfast with. There was a light mutter of morning greetings as Heero entered the kitchen closely followed by Duo. It was pretty much safe to say that none of the gundam pilots were morning people.
"We have a mission!" Duo chirped, as he skipped across the room, to take a seat at the table, smacking Wufei in the back of the head with his braid in doing so.
The Chinese pilot glared at him, grunted, and turned back to the blurry text of the newspaper before registering what had been said. He blinked in an unintelligible manner and looked over at Heero. "We do?"
"...Hai." He leaned back against the counter and glanced around to see Trowa and Quatre had paused to stare at him along with the two at the table. "I'm still waiting to be sent further instructions upon by what means we have to conduct our mission, though."
Wufei's eyes turned back to the paper, which was flipped to page two and looked back, "Does this have to do with the blockade on L2?"
Heero's gaze stilled on Wufei, as he lifted an eyebrow slowly, "I haven't been informed on any happenings lately. Most of the news in those papers are Earth related, and I haven't had a chance to watch the news on the TV in a few weeks." A small glare was directed to the braided boy in the chair beside Wufei, "That's why I was waiting for more information."
"I haven't heard about a blockade either." Trowa glanced at the Chinese boy and his newspaper, "Is there something about it in there?"
Nodding, Wufei tossed the newspaper, folded to the correct page onto the counter before the three standing pilots and stood to lean against the kitchen table behind him, nobody seemed to notice Duo's silence at the mention of his home. He began to explain, "The colony was found to be holding a major rebel movement who were taking over bases. Their manner of work was going rather slowly, so I guess it wasn't thought of to be mentioned on headlines or anything, but it seems now their taking mobil suits and all. They've taken control of the majority of bases on the colony, and now their threat of moving the colony, and even self destruction."
Quatre, now pouring himself a cup of coffee and adding the neccessary additions, looked up slowly, "You don't mean to tell me, there's some big button laying around in one of those bases with a sign reading 'press me to blow up the colony', do you? I would think that this would be easily taken care of by the--"
"Some of those are probably just rumours." Trowa countered the blond quickly.
"True, but there is a threat, none-the-less." Wufei looked seriously back towards Heero, "There are now OZ troupes blockading the colony, threatening to destroy it. Though, the rebels seem to just want destruction of the bases on the colony. If they destroy the bases there will be no military supply for OZ at the colony and the colonists living there think that will protect them from any further damage caused by the war."
"And if OZ destroys the colony?" Duo's voice was unpatterned and shakey. He looked more pale than he had when Heero had first seem him upon entrance of the kitchen that morning.
The boy in his white pants and royal blue shirt turned his black eyed glance towards the suddenly silent pilot, "Then OZ will loose their own bases, destroy millions of lives, and have even more power than they do already. The blow will be a tough one, loosing so many lives. It's likely to shorten the war, but it will sacrifice many... It's too many deaths due to an apparently vain cause." He looked back at the stoic pilot who was cataloguing this information slowly across the room, "What exactly were the mission instructions?"
Heero took a small breath before beginning, "The mission plans were simply to defuse the control base, AAVL2, on the colony without risking shutting down the colony itself, since most operations such as oxygen generators, weather controls, and such are operated from the main control base--"
"In otherwards, shut down that base, disabling all of the others, without performing a still on stabilization and life support controls? Is that possible?" The blond Arabian's face was one of horror as he turned away from his coffee cup, "One error, and we could destroy that colony on our own! We can't take a risk like that! It's... It's massacre, if not suicide as well! If something goes wrong, or we're detected this could be mistaken for an another attempt at operation meteor, except this time we're using a different colony!" He shook his head quickly, "No. There is no way I can get involved in this."
The Japanese pilot gave the blond a medium temperatured glare, "It can be done safely if we have a distraction for the blockade, and perform the hacks correctly. A barrier can be made to block off the circuits controlling the colony's life stabalization units. I can take care of that with little difficulty."
"It sounds dangerous... If you get caught entering the colony they might bring reinforcements. The blockade is already huge, even if the rest of us remained outside to--" Trowa was cut off quickly as the Chinese boy rolled his eyes.
"That's why we need distractions. It can be organized simply. Two of us will guard the colony to fight off anyone who sees Heero enter, there are bound to be a few. The other two will be the distraction, at a safe distance away from the colony so as to keep them away from the two guards and Heero, who is going in, but at a range so that if additional assitance is needed inside the colony or in defense, someone can be called in." Wufei looked to Trowa and Quatre, both leaning against the counter in front of the sink. "You two can handle distraction, while Maxwell and I handle defense. Heero will be inside the colony, so it should all work out well."
Quatre shook his head slowly, "I'll do it, but it still sounds like an awfully risky plan." His gaze moved up to Heero, "You can't be distracted in the slightest. This is tempting an ill fate to a colony who just wants to be excluded from the war, if any mistakes are made..."
"It'll work out." The Japanese pilot's voice was stern. "I'm going to check for any additional information that was sent..." His gaze drifted to Duo who sat silently facing the floor, "I'm sure it can be done safely."
The American pilot looked up feeling that Heero's voice was directed towards him, though, the 01 pilot was already leaving the kitchen. Even with the devastating news that had just been delivered, he felt somewhat lighter; Heero had actually offered him some comfort in the situation, no matter how vague or miniscule it was. it was there. He nodded, glancing at the others who were all in an eerie sort of silence.
As against any cheerfulness, as he was right now, he plastered a large grin on his face, hiding the despair he was feeling behind his eyes. "C'mon, guys, lighten up! It's just like a challenge! We can do this easy!" He stood up out of his chair, only to see Wufei's eyes narrow at him in a glare.
"This is your colony, Maxwell." He sneered, "You're home could be gone in less than an hour if they started firing now. This is more than some challenge, or game. We've hardly ever had to risk this many lives in one mission. It's time to get serious, and thinking of this mission as some trivial challenge is all but serious." He crossed his arms across his challenge, picking up the newspaper again.
Duo felt his face burning as the grief within him began boiling over with rage, and glared back at the Chinese boy. But no, he couldn't ruin this mask, he still needed it in tact when this mission was over. He calmed himself quickly, letting a usual amount of anger to arise within him, "I am serious." He let his smile drop and turn into the best look of determination he could muster, and thought of what Heero had said. If Heero said we could do it, then I know we can, "I have confidence that we can do this without losing the colony." But, that was all he could bring himself to say.
'If I could, I would give my life for that colony. I would give up everything to save the people there, and... To save my memories. I have to show them they can be proud of me. I never got to say goodbye to him. I want him to be proud of me...' His mind drifted, and his face must have turned to some extent sullen, as now all of them were glancing in his direction curiously.
Quatre's frown broke into a smile and he nudged Trowa softly, "You're right, Duo. We can do this."
At this Wufei rolled his eyes, and snatched the paper from the countertop, wordlessly heading off towards the den, but he silently agreed. 'Nataku will help me. It is not justice that OZ could do such things, therefor Nataku will help me. We will succeed.'
Heero entered the kitchen again, face drawn, "We leave tomorrow evening. We will be staying in the L1 colony and will head out in two days from there. Talks will not resume between the colony and OZ until Wednesday, so we have three days to await before we even need to start worrying about anything."
The other tree kitchen occupants nodded, and the Japanese pilot left to relay the information to Wufei, in the parlor.
To Be Continued...