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4:11:06 So I was at home watching "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" the other day when "that" scene came on. You know the one I'm talking about, the scene near the end of the movie where Eddie pulls out the cartoon pistol and throws the bourbon bottle in the air where a stoic-looking indian bullet character flew out of the gun, whipped out an oversized tomahawk, and made the "bwah bwah" sound after completely obliterating the bottle. It is such sterotypical crap and has always been a sore spot in an otherwise perfect film.
For some reason I was still thinking about it when the scene switched to where Eddie again produces the cartoon pistol and fires twice. Out fly two very stereotypical cowboy characters who talk like idiots, sound drunk, and then completely miss the target. Apparently, the native american was the only bullet that even hit anything.
That movie doesn't bother me so much anymore.
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3:23:06 I have been a frequent guest in many a public bathroom within my lifetime of grand experience. I would almost dare say I'm a connoisseur of such facilities, and have come to understand quite well, the shambled state of disrepair that is the consumer crapper.
One day, I find myself at Valley Fair Mall, and I need to go. So, I pop into the john, expecting to see what we all expect to see in these kinds of places. Sticky floors, questionable liquids on the seat, and of course plenty of misspelled profanity and poorly-drawn genitalia.
What caught my attention was what appeared to be tooth marks on the seat.
I walked out of that bathroom thinking to myself, "Goddamn, Valley Fair is hardcore!"
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1:31:06 While in the laundry room I stepped into a good-sized pile of dog-crap. Once I fumed about it for a bit, the thought crossed my mind: Did our ancestors catch hell for tracking shit into the cave?
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1:30:06 Having now been on 6 flights (including the layovers) in the past week, I feel like I can now consider myself an expert on stewardesses. I mean, when you sit on a plane for 2-3 hours, with nothing but popping your ears and bad King Of Queens reruns, you tend to take a special interest in she who brings your peanuts.
Naturally these fine darlings of the sky differ by geographic region in some significant ways. So, I figured I'd share what I know with the masses, because I'm sure this will prove useful to you someday.
ORLANDO
Naturally curvacious, the standard Orlando stewardess has all the humps in the right places. Simple, refined hairstyles, and just enough makeup to add to the overall beauty without looking cheap. Understated smiles with just enough tooth to make you feel attractive round off the package
HOUSTON
Strong and powerful, the Houston stewardess is truly an independant woman. With a muscular and robust frame that screams "I'll kick your ass and still look good doing it," women in Houston manage to walk that fine line between girth and beauty. Infectious laughter and a light, jovial mood make any stewardess from TX a joy to be around.
SALT LAKE CITY
Frumpy with big butts.
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1:29:06 So, I'm driving the Florida Turnpike when I see a billboard for an adult store called "We Bare All." The billboard had all the basic essentials that an X-rated store ought to have. A scantily-clad woman staring into traffic with the seductive look of a creature who inspires men into great self-woe. Above the photo reads "ADULT TOYS" and "MOVIES." You know, your standard erotic fare. What really caught my eye was the bottom of the billboard with the words: "GREAT FOOD."
I shudder to think.