| Diary Of A Wimp Move over Bridget Jones and Adrian Mole, I'm much more interesting than you, AND I'm real so there. |
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| Diary Archive: 15th May 2002 - 10th January 2003 24th February 2003 - 10th June 2003 14th February It's all too predictable, isn't it? 14th February. What could Lindz possibly find to moan about today? HOW ABOUT BLOODY VALENTINE'S DAY?! Being the lefty we know I am, I oppose the exploitation of the people in all instances. How on earth can it be so socially acceptable to try to emotionally blackmail people into buying cards, flowers and all manner of hideous pink, fluffy heart-shaped things to prove that they love their significant others? "Here, buy this disgusting teddy holding a heart." "No thank you. It's too tacky to be true." "But if you don't, she will think you don't love her. And she will dump you. And you will fall into a pit of snakes and be burnt alive whilst being forced to listen to 'The Best Of Sicky Lovesongs'." "Oh, good grief. I'll take fifteen." And it's even worse than that, isn't it? Because the whole day is tailored around making singletons feel like social rejects. You can't go out on Valentine's day if you're not coupled up, you know. Because they'll be there. The Smug Going-Out-With-Someones. If you walk past them alone or even with your friends they will see you. And they will look at you. Because that's all it takes - one look and they will send all sorts of nasty thoughts worming into your brain. Things like "I'm too ugly for anyone to love" and "I will die single and alone, and be eaten by alsatians". And so you crawl, defeated, back under the slime-covered rock you emerged from and stay there forever. 13th December It's Christmas, is it? No! It fucking isn't! Call me old fashioned, but my belief was that Christmas occurs on the 25th December, although it is forgiveable for one to feel festive for perhaps a week beforehand. Christmas does *not* begin in the middle of November and it is completely unforgiveable to play Christmas songs or have Christmas decorations up before this time. Already I am completely fed up of serving people christmas turkey and christmas pudding at work. I am fed up of crackers and party poppers and people being drunk at christmas parties. And Christmas hasn't even started yet. Sorry to go "bah, humbug" on you. I'm not happy and I don't see why anybody else should be either. 5th November Oh, maybe I'm not too stupid for everything after all... This week two things have happened: I have got an offer of BCC from Nottingham! I have PASSED MY GODDAMN DRIVING TEST!! So today I'm cleverer than you all and you can all sit there and worship me in all my amazingness. 23rd October That's it, it's official. Lindz is too stupid to go to university. And it's too late. I've applied already. I've been predicted an A for Russian and everything, but I've realised that I'm Just Too Stupid. It was fair enough last year. There were four of us in our Russian class and, in terms of being-good-at-Russian-ness I was about middle. But now? I'm the stupidest in the class. You know why? Because our class is full of russians!! It is! And they sit there going "yayayayayrusskyrussskyrussky" and I can't say anything. Except "yes", "no" and "I don't know". Oh and I make panicky faces a lot, too. Except now apparently next year I am supposed to be studying it at university level. Maybe I should have gone for one of those career interview things people talk about. Me: I would like to study Russian at university. Interviewer: No. You can't. You are too stupid. Me: Thank you. That was a helpful interview. 5th September You know, I wrote a diary entry yesterday. But it has mysteriously disappeared, so you're going to have to put up with one today instead. If it's nowhere near as funny, don't blame me. Blame bloody computers. Where has the summer gone? Input on this site recently has been minimal. I have, after all, been out of the country for most of the summer, having been abroad for four out of six weeks, drinking, sleeping and doing bad things. Spare a thought for my poor young man, stuck back here without me, poor little wench. Anyways, we're back at college now and feeling rather uncomfortable as talk has begun, more than ever before, of university. Due to my slightly disappointing AS grades, and the fact that I just don't want to go, I'm no longer considering Oxford. Damn it, I don't want to go to university!They'll all be horrid to me and make me do work that's too hard and make me live in a smelly little hole with some reeking, rodent-faced workaholic who won't let me play my cds or let me out when I should be working. I don't want to gooooo! |