 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
I do not know where the following joke originated
Subject: Thus spake the Oracle....
A long time ago there existed an internet oracle. You could ask it any question. And, if you were lucky enough, it would answer you. Following is a copy of a question to the Oracle and the response it received.
Subject: Cats vs. Buttered Bread
If you drop a buttered piece of bread, it will fall on the floor butter-side down. If a cat is dropped from a window or another high and towering place, it will land on it's feet.
But what if you attach a buttered piece of bread, butter-side up to a cat's back and toss them both out the window? Will the cat land on it's feet? Or will the butter splat onto the ground?
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
Even if you are too lazy to do the experiment yourself you should be able to deduce the obvious result. The laws of butterology demand that the butter must hit the ground. And the equally strict laws of feline aerodynamics demand that the cat can not smash it's furry back. If the combined construct were to land, nature would have no way to resolve this paradox. Therefore it simply does not fall.
That's right you clever mortal, you have discovered the secret of antigravity! A buttered cat will, when released, quickly move to a height where the forces of cat-twisting and butter repulsion are in equilibrium. This equilibrium point can be modified by scraping off some of the butter, providing lift, or removing some of the cat's limbs, allowing descent (but getting you into trouble with the cat and all of the be kind to cats activists).
Most of the civilized species of the Universe already use this principle to drive their ships while within a planetary system. The loud humming heard by most sighters of UFOs is, in fact, the purring of several hundred tabbies.
The one obvious danger is, of course, if the cats manage to eat the bread off their backs they will instantly plummet. Of course the cats will land on their feet. But usually that does not do them much good since right after they make their graceful landing several tons of spaceship with angry aliens crash on top of them. |
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
ON LIFE WITH "A LITTLE BIT WILD" CAT |
|
|
|
Prince Albert (aka. Einstein) is a Bengal Snow Leopard with a champaign-buff, glistening coat and big baby blue eyes. He has a gold nose and a black & white raccoon look ringed tail. His brown spots cover his white belly as well as his gold back. He is over 14 years old. And he weighs a little less than 15 lbs. |
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Friends tell me that it is a good thing for him that I am the most patient person that they know. When he came here as a 6 month old kitten he determined that he should assume authority. And so it is that if he decides to play - even if it is in the middle of the night - that is what he will do. Often he will come into my bedroom to play. It does not concern him if he disturbs my sleep. If I persuade him to leave my bedroom (in pursuit of a string) and then I return to my room and close the door to keep him out, he will persistently knock on the door, rattle the door knob, and meow loudly as if he needs in there. When the door is re-opened for him he will gallop into the room flying over furniture as if he has a planned destination. If I take my pillow to the living room couch, however, he will play in there. Tricking him to leave the bedroom to chase a long ribbon, and then proceeding to return to my room without him, and close the door, proved to be a wasted effort as he determined to hit the door, rattle the doorknob, and meow loudly until the door was opened. As soon as it was open he would dash into the bedroom flying over the furniture as if he had a planned destination. |
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Being dubbed Einstein by my youngest nephew was appropriate. He is an intelligent cat. Which must be a credit to his "grandpa" as he only had one.
He loves to be between me and whatever I'm doing. And so, he has certain favorite activities such as helping me whenever I am trying to write on checks to pay bills, read any book, newspaper, magazine, or map, or work a jigsaw puzzle. He especially loves the geography lessons. He thoroughly studies maps front and back.
Having good night vision, he will, when deciding to "play" in my bedroom, often hunt out any unfiled paper (or book, or magazine) to study - which includes testing the texture of the paper for "rustle-ability". |
|
|
|
Next night 5:15 AM. I guess it was about 4 when I went to bed. But I couldn't get to sleep. Albie was nearby snoring softly. Then, like last night about this time, the loony bird of the neigborhood that likes the mock orange tree by my bedroom window started its salute to the world. (I know that a lot of people get up routinely at 5 AM, but, for obvious reasons, I am not one of those people). Albie went right on snoring, so now I'm on my way to the couch. He'll probably come in here to play in a little while. |
|
|
|
Before we first met, I saw an ad for bengal cats in a cat magazine. I had a brief trial subscription so that I could learn about the different types of cats available. I was focusing my attention to a different breed, but I learned that some of that breed seemed to have some genetic problems which could cause them to suffer early " permanent retirement". Then I noticed the advertisements for bengals. To my surprize, there was a breeder within driving distance. So, I called to gleen more information. |
|
|
|
As she talked, she happened to mention that it is not unusual for leopards to enjoy playing in water. Now, I'm a person who has managed to deal rather well with some allergies since childhood. But, because of those allergies, I was also reluctant to bring allergens into my home. I had read that to help reduce potential allergic reactions to cats one should bathe the cat occasionally. As I imagined a cat playing in the water, I felt that would work well with my plans.
Albert did show a fascination with water. He liked to try to get near a sink to watch water draining. I tried leaving some water in the kitchen sink with some small "toys" floating. He would attempt to pat them. But did not show interest in jumping into the water. |
|
|
|
* CLICK HERE to continue reading more stories about my beautiful cat. |
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|