| STILL More Funny Thoughts |
| Are one handed people offended when police tell them to put their hands up? If you built a time machine with all new parts, when you went back would the parts you use dissapear because they didn't exist then? How can sweet and sour sauce be sweet and sour at the same time? Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift? If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound? If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to? Why do black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars Did Noah keep his bees in archives? If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth? If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go? If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit? What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours? What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go? Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs? What do mermaids eat? If your plan is having no plan, do you have a plan? If the energizer bunny attacks someone, is he charged with battery? If anything's possible, then is it possible that nothing's possible? Is atheism is a non-prophet organization? If a baseball is hit out of the stadium, travels completely around the world, re-enters the stadium, and is caught by a fielder, is it a home run or an out? If a policecar, an ambulance, a fire truck and a mail truck are all at a 4 way stop who has the right away? Why are all farms red? why are rubber duckies yellow when most real ducks aren't? Are there female leprechauns? Do judges and lawyers do jury duty? Do fish sleep? Would it be possible for a solar car to travel faster then the speed of light? Isn't it scary that the word "therapist" is the same as the words "the" and "rapist" put together? Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another? On a telephone, why does ABC start on the number 2 and not 1? Do pigs pull ham strings? Do dumped farmers get John Deere letters? Why do radio operators say "niner" instead of just "nine"? Why do people say heads up when you should duck? Why did Superman wear his briefs on the outside of his tights? Does anyone actually kill two birds with one stone? Why do they call the clock where you punch your time card called a "time" clock? Aren't all clocks "time" clocks? Why does blow and suck mean the same thing when we describe something being crap? Can dogs have dog days? When a male is elected president and his wife is called the First Lady. What would a lady's husband be called if she were elected president? If you are born on February 29 of a leap year, when is your birthday? Do birds pee? Do siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts? Why do they call it 2% milk, if its 2% fat, not milk? What do you say when someone says you're in denial, but you're not? If you had x-ray vision, but closed your eyes, could you still see? Have you ever thought what life would be like if your name was Anonymous? You'd get credit for everything nobody wanted credit for? If a water spins clockwise when it drains in the northern hemisphere, and water spins counterclockwise when it drains in the southern hemisphere...which way does it spin at the equator? If you own a piece of land and there is an volcano on it and it ruins a nearby town, do you have to pay for the property damage? If you have x-ray vision, and you can see through anything, wouldn't you see through everything and actually see nothing? If it is a 50 mph per hour wind and you drive your car at 50mph downwind, if you stick your head outside would you feel the wind? Why does "closing up" a shop and "closing down" a shop mean the same thing? Why do they call them "Animal Crackers" when there not even crackers...they're cookies? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? How do you throw away a garbage can? Why in baseball is it called the World Series if it is only played in the U.S.A & Canada? Why do old men have hair in their ears? Why are things typed up but written down? Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing? In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end? If you were on a plane going the speed of sound and walked from the back of the plane to the front, would you be walking faster than the speed of sound? If the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into? What does OK actually mean? what does the K in K-mart actually stand for? Why do we feel blue? and what color does a smurf feel when they are down? Why can't you eat pancakes for dinner? Why do donuts have holes? Why don't you hear thunder with heat lightning? Do the different "M&M's"� colors taste different? If your born at exactly midnight is your birthday on both those days? If you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard? |
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