(NovembeR!)
November 30, 2003
Jesse, you shouldn't leave the house when you're sick even if the pain is gone... you're still suffering from those evil "side effects" blargh.
Around 11:30am yesterday I took off with Temperkill for some coffee at the Cambie. Met up with Val, Soni, and *squints* Johannes (?), sat around soaking up the evil rays of the sun which was interupted by the arival of Charlotte and Andy ...it was kind of odd being out there so early. Sometime before 1pm everyone took off and it was down to me and Andy, downtown sucks in the wee hours of the day so we headed north to find Laurina. Laurina was found at the RANDOMEST bus stop on bowen rd, which reminds me... there's acid in town again and all (actually only 3 or 4) the kids are planning some sort of drug night... I don't know, silly silly children. uhhh where was I?
Doesn't matter, I got really sick (head... pain... pills?) and somehow ended up at Rutherford... (I ditched out by randomly getting off the bus...) talked to Ron for a bit and then left, simple enough. Oh, Laurina gave me my birthday present early, it's so cool!! I have a Sheriff Jesse pin!! *jumps around and does a little dance* 6:30 I went to the port theater and saw a magic show with val and soni... I've never used such a crowded mensroom before, mmmm old men using urinals really tickles my fancy if you know what I mean *wonk* I need to be more social, I had a lot of fun with them, even if the guy in the show was kinda lame. haha he kept telling people when they should clap for him, poor man... let's pitty him shall we?
After the show Val and I were wandering downtown looking for the kids when we came across a very giggly Marley and a Kyle. They had come on a misson to find us (although leaving the house I really don't think they knew who they were looking for) and bring us back to Jesse's. Jesse and Joe were having their last "technically we're kicked out of the house at 1am" party and everyone was there. I had a lot of fun, it's been way too long since I'd really even hung out with those guys. Hah, as soon as I saw Jesse (after getting a big drunken hug that is) I was handed a beer and from then on every time I was done a new one would somehow take it's place, it was like the AWT night all over again! ("I ONLY WANT ONE BEER") Only this time I had no idea who the hell was supplying me... especially considering I spent most of the night on the front porch. Haha speaking of the front porch Myka was trying to kick one of the posts out (if you hit a certain one the whole roof will colaspe -yeh, I'm surprised the house hasn't been condemed yet either) at one point and then set out looking for a sledge hammer....
Ummmm... so I tore my room apart today. My left wall is getting a makeover (haha), I'm so sick of the shit on it... but I got about half way through and have taken an ever lasting break. I still have no room for that huge ass pennywise poster... If I cut it I'm pretty sure it will fit on the ceiling in the hall here... but who's going to want to help me put that up?
Chris (in Olympia) moved away yesterday... he didn't call me before he left, which is really upsetting... only because we made this sort of promise I guess. Fucker. I go down to Olympia (and possibly Seattle) next weekend, it'll be my first time there ever without him. .....I almost don't want to go...
I need to call Steve.
Blah...
I'm out
Dreamed of toasters....11/30/03, 4:50pm
November 29, 2003
blah, this is too long to post here so you get to click on a link to read instead... AREN'T YOU FUCKING SPECIAL?
Dreamed of toasters....11/29/03, 12:37am
November 28, 2003
is there a valid reason for my tag board to not be working?
*sighs*
Dreamed of toasters....11/28/03,11:58am
November 28, 2003
So I'm home.
And I am dying...
D-Y-I-N-G.
I seriously thought on the plane ride home that if I didn't get to a hospital as soon as I landed something horrible would happen.
So guess what!
I might need to have my tonsils removed or drained... isn't that great?!
Isn't it great that it started hurting the first hour of a 15 hour trip?
That means there was 7-8 hours of UNBEARABLE pain only to get home and have a doctor say "here swallow these 2 advil and 1 tylenol and all shall be well... if not than come back tomorrow and we'll see about putting you under that knife! ho ho ho!!" (YES HE LAUGHED LIKE SANTA!! grrr) and what hurts the most is swallowing.
Well, it didn't work... I spent the night on the couch with Temperkill sleeping on the upper portion of my body... haha I was in two much pain to try and move him.
Now I understand Jeremy's logic behind shooting yourself in the foot.
I miss London already... although I will admit, the air and water here are so amazingly clean it makes me HAPPY.
Hmmm... there's a show tonight. I think it's metal though (ick), everyone is planning to get drunk and hang around outside... I do want to see the kids, but I'm in no mood for drinking (snakebites?!) and since I feel like death I doubt I'll want to be around a bunch of drunks... Even though they're all so great when they drink. *sighs* today seems like a salad bed day.
Remember kids, today is buy nothing day!
Dreamed of toasters....11/28/03,11:21am
November 26, 2003
Oh my god.
I think I'm actually speechless.
I saw The Mars Volta... TWICE!!
And Steve, remember how you said you'd never talk to me if they played even one of three songs? Well, they played all three. IN ONE FUCKING NIGHT!
Front row... center... (both nights of course) crushed against the metal baracade and not giving a shit that my ribs are about to collapse.
ohhh man, can they ever fucking play, can they ever dance, CAN HE EVER SING! OH MY GOD that was the best show I have ever been to. I'd ramble details, but writing them... it just doesn't work.
One thing though, I thought this was pretty cool.
On the second night Cedric jumped off stage and was busting a move, dancing around the front row (where security is) when all of a sudden he stopped right in front of me, started clapping. He gave me this odd look, so I grinned and started clapping along to his beat... He looked so pleased (he had the biggest fucking grin on his face), gave me a high five and jumped back on stage. Then everyone else started clapping along... it was great!
And a few nights ago I met this boy (umm... he's not really a boy) named Jeremy... and I called him like an hour ago to meet him, should have called him back by now... so yeah. I gotta go run to hang out with the british... hehehe
I miss you guys!!
home tomorrow around 7... =( =) ??
Dreamed of toasters....11/26/03, 11:25am
November 22, 2003
Where is Jesse??
OH MY GOD WHERE THE FUCK AM I?!
Yeh... that was my yesterday. I spent the entire day lost in downtown London alone... and had the best time.
I got off the underground at Leceister square (okay, I'll admit it my reasoning for that was because of the Rancid song... but I didn't know where the hell to go, so it was some sort of comfort) and started wandering. As soon as I got comfortable with my surroundings (I bought smokes, that's comfort) I headed off the main roads and in to the depths that is... hell? I found this little road with kiosks (as my mother calls them) purchased some AWESOME socks (duuude they sell lime green leggwarmers!!) and a bunch of pins (some for the kids back home, Alex needs a b-day present), but I passed up the sick looking army wear/plaid mininess... (don't even try to understand... you need to see). I had 3 choices as that street ended, they all looked promising... Then I looked up, and realised I was standing in front of what appeared to be some sort of "porn alley". It was dark, stingy, and had an archway above it advertising live girls (no dead ones...)... it was the obvious choice. It was filled with strip bars, private red rooms (not like the red light district, but they were private and called red rooms), sex shops and other sick treasures, oh and lots of dirty old men. Every time I took off my head phones (I could have sworn everyone spoke another language - I'm not used to being in such a foriegn place where everyone speaks english) I would crack up, I swear, EVERYONE is faking their british accent... it's horrible. Oh, and also... there's more gay men here than anywhere in the world. Never have I seen so many boys kissing! It's so great.
Everything is really expensive here, I feel like a such a cheap bastard, but seriously a salad for �5?! That's almost $10! Bah... thank god my mom left me tons of money... ooooh money...
Went out for a few pints last night with Robyn and Palmira (my sister), Garette was right, they serve Guiness warm here... it's pretty gross. But still better than anything else I could find. Had some fun with them, they're awesome... They like to pick up shit they find on the street (clothes, shoes, anything useable... I thought they were a tad err.. fucked when I first heard of this, and then I noticed, the british throw away some nice stuff, hahaha. oh and the place we were drinking, it's called The Famous Cock (hehe), Robyn also works there...
The night I arrived (well, 2pm) they dragged me to a concert at The Mean Fiddler - My Morning Jacket... Ugh. It wasn't THAT bad (as good as some barefooted caveman looking guy from Texas shall be), I was soooo tired and worn out I wanted to kill all the fucking weirdos this concert brought out. Seriously, weirdos. Mostly men too... they were all rocking out... great times right? Hah.
Okay, so I just got ditched and left in the library (they went for a run), they're gunna come back and get me for breakfast... Mmmmm so hungry.
Okay, so people here, they're dumb. Honestly, I don't understand anything in this country, but I don't think the people who live here do either. They have left and right written on almost every cross walk to tell you which way to look (which would be handy if I thought of looking down, but I'm too busy worrying about the cars which come from EVERY BLOODY DIRECTION at speeds that I swear are illegal back home) before crossing -- see, they don't even know they drive on the left side of the road! I keep seeing posters for Rod Stewart - the musical and (yes, it gets better) Jerry Springer - the opera!! AN OPERA ABOUT JERRY SPRINGER!! What the fuck?? That's just... *sighs* I don't even want to get into how wrong that is.
I have more interesting stuff to talk about, but really it's so hard to type it out. And I don't even want to be in a library right now, I just didn't really have a choice. *shrugs* I get to see The Mars Volta in 2 days!! I checked out the Astoria yesterday, it's fucking rad, I'M SO EXCITED *gah*
One last thing before I leave you... my pack of cigarettes, there's no cancerous photo or surgeons general warning... just simply, SMOKING KILLS in huge letters... I love it.
wow... that is probably one of my longest entries and it has little to no point... heh
Dreamed of toasters....11/22/03, 11:22am
November 18, 2003
Stupid snow...
My flight was cancelled. It's snowing SO hard on the south end of town... *sighs* I'm so angry. I can't be mad at the snow though, it's so great!! It's all the airport's fault... hehe
I <3 the snow!!
soooo pretty...
So now I leave tomorrow at 12:10, and now I come back on the 27th instead...
Yay London!
one last thing though... I love this boy so much, haha he always makes me laugh
Steve: I haven't shaved in days... actually, weeks
Steve: it's gross
Jesse: *squee* hairy monkey man steve!!
Jesse: hahahaha
Jesse: i bet
Steve: its an emobeard
Jesse: what the hell is an emo beard??
Steve: when your heart gets broken by a girl and you cant get outta bed for weeks, so its untrimmed and sporadic
Steve: just like your soul ahhaha
Jesse: awwwww...
Steve: but nobody's broken my heart, i'm just lazy
Jesse: that's a disgusted awww
Jesse: not a cute awww
Steve: hahahha
Steve: i figured as much
Steve: thats usually the response to most things i say
Dreamed of toasters....11/18/03, 7:20pm
November 16, 2003
Oh. My. God.
That was one of the best concerts I have ever been to,
The Vacanccy
None More Black
Against Me!
Rise Against
and...
ANTI-FLAG.
WOW.
Thursday night at Alex's we stayed up till about 2 playing lego with Booth. He climbed in SO RANDOMLY through Alex's window and just hung out for a few hours, it was so much fun... we made coooool stuff. DUDE, Alex's lil brother has SO MUCH lego!!
Woke up at 4 with barely any sleep at all and rushed our way to the ferry. Alex slept below while me and Brad braved the upper deck. The only other people on board were truckers and "Moscow On Ice" (basically a bunch of Russians who perfrom circus shit on ice), it was really fucking creepy. We ate, and sat out on the dark cold deck for cigarettes... trying to stay awake. We gave up and spent the rest of the ferry curled up on the big cushy massage chairs trying to avoid the Russians.
As soon as I got out of the car at the show this girl ran up to me begging me for a ticket. Selling it was so much easier than I thought. The opening bands were so good, I was really surprised. The first band wasn't so hot, but the next 3 really got the crowd going, and played amazing sets. I especially liked None More Black and Against Me! Alex got their cds, which I shall soon steal from him... or something of the sort. Anti-Flag was amazing, no words can even describe it. The speeches Justin and Andy gave were so empowering, and the unity of the crowd... gah. They came out and talked to everyone after the show, talking with Justin, wow, I could have for hours, he was so amazingly nice. Hah, he gave me THE BIGGEST HUG, and unfortunatly had many other fans to shake hands with... Pat (the drummer) was so fun (funny hehe) to watch play, the faces he made... Haha we were all talking about it for hours.
There was this big mean jerk-face in front of me durring most of their set (I was about 3rd row -tiny ass venue, pretty much the size of my living room and kitchen combined) who kept kicking, punching and elbowing me (not normal mosh pit style I mean, he was like beating me) for no real reason besides my threat of squirming in front of him and stealing his spot (which eventually happened, hehe). Durring 911 For Peace he swung around, checking me with his elbow with all his strength and knocked the wind out of me. I could have fucking killed him. I was ready to jump on him and just start beating him... but then I looked at the size of him and realised that wasn't a smart idea and just focused on getting in front of him. Not before stealing a random pin on his back first, which ended up being a Blood For Blood pin (who I love, yet have never seen any merch for), I was guessing that was the whole happy karma aspect to my beating.
I have bruises all over my entire body and I can't move my neck properly. I'm so happy.
After the show we wandered down the road to find a pay phone. The one we found ate 50 cents and the guy working the store was an asshole and didn't help us... So after begging for 50 more cents we set off for the only destination we could really find from afar, the space needle. It ended up being a lot farther away then it seemed, but we managed okay... Found a phone with a large sign posted on it "ATTENTION DRUG DEALERS" apparently all the pay phones in that fucking city are monitored by police, so much for privacy eh? Standing outside the space needle waiting to be picked up was so much more fun than would seem... These people drove up and asked us if we were the valet parking (ummm do we look like valet parkers??), I said yes, and then they got all pissed off and told us we weren't... Fucking Americans...
We stayed at Tom's, who is a friend of Alex's family, he was so cool. He invented this game called Whirly Ball which we got to go play Saturday morning. It's bumper cars, 3 on each side, and then you get those scoops and balls and you throw them at nets about the height of a basketball net. SO MUCH FUN!! We got to play for free, so we basically just went in and drove the cars around throwing balls at everyone, it was awesome. I'd love it if we had one here...
Anyhoo, I should probably jet. I'm off to Wellington for lunch tomorrow... gotta wakey up EARLY!
Dreamed of toasters....11/16/03, 9:40pm
November 13, 2003
I'm so neglecting... I never update here... better luck with the livejournal kids... but for now...:::
5:15am ferry outta this shit hole.
*shudders*
So early.
I was supposed to go to jam night at the cambie tonight and see Jason, Jesse and Joe play. Oh well, it's off to Alex's for me. Kyle isn't comming anymore, he doesn't have the money which mean I'm fucking out $28, scalping it is... Hopefully the show's sold out by now so I can make some sort of profeit off some rich lil American.
Okee, well kids... I suppose this is me saying tah-tah for now, have a good night and and awesome tomorrow. Heh, won't be as rad as mine... WEEEEEE SEATTLE!!
<3
Dreamed of toasters....11/13/03, 11:45pm
November 9th, 2003
What a weird day. I woke up with Josh's elbow in my face... I forgot how unpleasnt he is to sleep beside. Hah, at least his bed in this place is bigger... *squints* come to think of it, that bed was too familiar... IT'S DENIS'S!! ...odd. Anyhoo, I had a great time. Spent Saturday with Laurina wandering the streets looking for Steve (dirty punk steve, not pretty dreads steve), bought SHIT LOADS of comics (for myself: the Squee book, Bear br Jamie Smart, and JV's Bad Art Collection. For Laurina: EVERYTHING -not even kidding), and ran into KENNY! Kenny (aka little [not so much anymore, he's grown 6 inches over the summer, {gah} but still cute and fuzzy] punk child Brody was mushing on about) spent a good while with us, introduced us to way too many people, and took us on a strange and scary adventure through the mall... We spent a lot of time with Steve's roomates and friends (the next best thing to a Steve I suppose) before wisking away to Josh's place of work. We arrived, big reunion... weeeee... almost died of squashyness when Josh attacked/hugged me. We all went out for dinner and then dropped Laurina off at the bus stop for home. Me and Josh rented the Hitch Hicker's Guild To The Galaxy series (dvd weee) and set off for his house... we pretty much hung around there all night, wandered out to buy smokes and walk aimlessly a few times. Met some interesting drunk people, not to mention the speed freaks with high emotional problems cowering under the stairs (they were creeeeepy). Mmmmm... after my rude awakening and some breakfast he took me to the bus and we sat around there for almost 2 hours cause they fucked up on telling us what time my bus left... POINTLESS SITTING, could have been wandering... bah, no consideration these "bus people...". I got off at Harbour Park (No, not Port Place you morons) because I saw some of the dark children sitting at the Cambie... I joined them (Charlotte, Andy, Pierce and Matt) and got myself a coffee. Talked to Johnnie while I was in line (forever cause I was distracted, heh) and Donnie and Val showed up... I hung around there till maybe 7 when I finally took off for home.
Yup.
And now, I'm watching Invader Zim episodes that I downloaded, taking breaks with my new SQUEE book... munching on pie... ooooh pie...
Laurina took me out for dinner at Mrs. Riches on Friday. Mmmm... best kids meal I EVER had, I got to colour and get a toy too, damn I love pretending I'm 12. =D
Hung out at the bus stop for a surprisingly long time on Friday as well... Krista, Laurina, Andy, Brad Park, Dillon and I were fucking cold and those glass cages seemed very smart at the time. Plus we had entertainment with the gpd damn fire alarm in the parkade going off every 5 minutes. I got to live in a shopping cart for 2 hours, and I'm damn proud.
*scratches head frantically* GAH!! HAIR!! I HATE IT!! *furiously scratches some more* ...must ...resist ...temptation to... shave...head ... GRRRRR!!! This is going to drive me mad...
Look how beautiful this is:
November 14th: Go to Seattle.
November 15th: Anti-Flag concert (in Seattle... duh?).
November 18th: Leave for London.
November 24th: The Mars Volta concert.
November 26th: Arrive home... (dun dun dun)
December 5th: Go to Olympia WA
December 9th: MY BIRTHDAY! WEEEEEE!!
Dreamed of toasters....11/09/03, 11:45pm
November 6th, 2003
There's something about today.
Something spooky.
Something hollow...
Something that makes me feel dead inside.
4 months ago. July 6th... I lost my best friend.
I think I'm going to be sick.
I've felt like this all day... ever since 3am, when I woke up to the phone. Josh.
I'm so scared right now... I've felt this tingling on the back of my neck ever since I walked upstairs...
I've jumped one too many times because I've felt something brush my sholders...
I'm paranoid...
No, I just miss Amanda.
Has it really been 4 months? It feels like we've been apart forever...
God, I miss her so much... words don't do justice to how I feel.
They never will.
I love you Amanda Marie Born. Mandar, Brody, My Cream of The Ice ska princess... haha...
You're a jerk for leaving me here alone...
Dreamed of toasters....11/06/03, 11:45pm
November 4th, 2003
Fuck, I'm so angry.
I hate this, I just want to be happy, I just want to forget and be normal again...
It stings in a dull sort of way ...they make me feel so pathetic.
I'm so cold... so very cold...
Dreamed of toasters....11/04/03, 5:55am
November 3rd, 2003
*cough*
*hack*
*COUGH*
OWWW MY FUCKING THROAT!!
I'm so sick... I hate you cold house with no heat that Jesse lives in... I HATE YOU HOUSE!! *holds throat*
Stupid Jon keeps making me laugh... and my throat is fucking raw, and *pouts* I need to have a smoke but it hurts more than it's worth (YES THAT MUCH).
Jon has also got me paranoid that I have strep... owwy, cause fuck, IT HURTS. Why am I sick?? I was getting better... grrrr I'm not happy...
*groans* somebody help me....
Dreamed of toasters....11/03/03, 2:37am
November 2nd, 2003
Talk about a fucked up day yesterday... I suppose it was an interesting start to the month. My mom and I got into the biggest fight we've been in since the one about me staying home from Portugal. Fuck it was so horrible... she wants me to go back in counceling, she wants me back on meds, she wants me ...to be happy. I can't get mad at her for that, but at the same time she knows how against both of those things I am... They didn't work for me. She has no idea what I'm going through, sure, she does to some extent but my life growing up is almost the exact opposite of hers... I'm nothing like her, the same things won't work for me as they did for her.... And I don't want to be a fucking zombie again, even just reading my entries from that month (that I was last on meds) scares me... I didn't think anything of it at the time, but it was so horrible... I remember after 4 days of just not taking them, I thought I was going to die... I couldn't stop shaking... *smiles* that was the day I chopped all my hair off.
Errr... anyhoo, back to last night... After her nice explotion on me (oh yes that was triggered by some marks on my skin that aren't anyones business but mine and Amanda's) she left for dinner and told me to stick around for another discussion (right ma, discussion) which I was planning on doing until around 6 I recieved a phone call. It was my old counsellor confirming an appointment, I cancelled it and then began packing. I stole a fresh pack of smokes from my aunt and then was freaking out, trying to get a hold of someone, anyone... Steve, Travis and Jesse were no where to be found and neither was anyone else that I felt I could really talk to... I was just about to begin wandering aimlessly when Jesse called and invited me over, so I ran away there for the night. It was fine at first but as the night progressed I began to feel more and more uncomfortable, almost unwanted -even though he told me to come... I don't know, I think it was more just my mood than anything, but I don't know... there were a few times I thought about taking off. If it wasn't so fucking cold out and I wasn't so scared of going home I would have, but it's probably better that I didn't.
Today's been a drag, my mom told me when I came home (after a visit with Penny on my way home from Jesse's) that she'd drop the subject if I'd find a way to make myself happy. I'll be happy when I'm ready to be happy, and I'm happy when I'm happy... It's not like I'm always a big ball of sulk, I just have been for the past few days because of.... *glares* things I don't want to discuss on here... I'm aleady too open with this stupid blog, oh well, doesn't mean you fucking know me...
I think I need another shower.
*smirks* ----> look how fucking cool I am with glasses...
Dreamed of toasters....11/02/03, 4:21pm
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