Wow, Jesse sure likes to update her blog. I need to shave my head again, it's getting long and icky... School's fucked as always... I think I've finally gotten used to this whole half days thing... I don't think I want to ever go back to full days. I like sleeping in and having an excuse to be wandering the halls no matter what block it is because the administrators still don't know what blocks I have class. Plus they all think I'm going to kill myself at any moment so they're all nice to me... BWAHAHAHA I HAVE THE POWER!! Ohhh itchy head... *scratch-scratch-scratch*

Friday afternoon at lunch Brody, Jon and I went downtown and caught the bus with Denis and Laurina up to Woodgrove. I would tell you about all the fun shit we did up there but I wasn't in the best of moods by the end so we'll leave out all that mumbo jumbo. Upon arriving back downtown at 6 we went up to the cambie but I quickly left to catch the ferry to Gabe. I hadn't been over in a long time, but it was actually really fun. There was a show at the GP which meant of course that Ryan, Peter, Steve and Robbie (Gamut) would be playing so yay. I hung out with them for the whole night and came back with them on the last ferry. I was going to go to Megan's party with them but she's Steve's girlfriend's bestfriend... and I figured that doesn't classify me as knowing her plus I was tired so I just got Ryan to drop me off at Travis's instead.

You don't care about my weekend, therefore I don't either... 4 DAYS UNTIL I GO SEE AFI!! Can you believe it? Holy shit I know I can't... WHOOOOOOO AFI!!!


Thought of toasters... 03/30/2003, 12:21pm.


March 23, 2003 (10 Days until AFI)

Hanging out with Brady today... been a long time... Robert's also comming into town, FINALLY... I've been pestering him to come spend time with me all spring break... Oh my god there's school tomorrow, I HAVE TO WRITE AN ESSAY!! FUUUUUCK... So, on the 20th I chopped all my hair off... it really was a horrible day... Friday I went to Victoria for the day with my mom. The drive there was actually really nice... It was pouring rain so hard and I kept sticking my head out the window... hehe feels so cool... plus it's generally dark and there was good music... Too bad that volvo is like a death trap. We had lunch with my sister at some fancy oyster bar and I spilled my drink all over myself and the table... Now, normally this isn't a big deal, fuck I spill shit all the time, but the manager freaked out on the waiter and everyone in the place was staring at me... *phew* Did some shopping afterwards, got a lil blue monkey at VV's, 200 studs at the leather place, and a pink & orange barbel for my navel and an 8g black and white spike for my ear at this really good little vintage clothing store on Johnson. Friday night, went to the show... but it was REALLY lame (remind me that cavolotti shows are all shit besides Ripcordz) so me and Brody spent like 10 minutes begging the guy to give us our $5 back... we finally one and ran away leaving Derek and his woman to fend for themselves. Hahaha but you know where we went? To a glow ice skating thing for youth *SNORT* ...It was so bad... The music and the people... wow... and the fact that I can't skate really made it a weird place to spend my night. Yesterday I went to this play back theater thing on racism that my mom was in. It was REALLY weird... lots of interesting people though. I decided to be suportive of the presentation so I went up on stage and told everyone my story about being harassed for being different... I was really nervous but no one seemed to care and just carried on with their theater thing... Rented some movies last night: Powerpuff Girls, Interview With A Vampire, and Blood - The Last Vampire... Ohhhh yay movies... The last one is Japanese Anime, it looks REALLY good, but I was too tired last night to pay attention... Not that you fucking care... BRADY HURRY UP I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR 2 HOURS YOU INCONSIDERATE FUCKER. There, much better...


Thought of toasters... 03/23/2003, 12:54pm.


March 21, 2003 (12 Days until AFI)

Thought of toasters... 03/21/2003, 6:00pm.


March 20, 2003 (13 Days until AFI)

Had a breakdown today... This one actually lasted the day... A sad thing when that's all your day consists of... I've been off my meds for 4 days now, I just found out my doctor is on some sort of vacation and I won't be able to get more for another week. So I must put my life on hold as I find it more difficult to function. That'll pass by tomorrow. Hopefully.

Finding my senses dulled only by pot... fuck that sucks, now the only way I find I can stop crying and freaking out is to trick my body... goody goody gum drops... Oh and of course, yay to war *sarcastically waves an american flag*


Thought of toasters... 03/20/2003, 8:35am.


March 18, 2003

Oh my god... I'm going to puke... ALL OVER ALL YOU FUCKERS!! Grrrr... Brandy is evil and I'm never letting that shit touch my lips again. St. Patty's day... everyone needs a little green liquior... except maybe Jesse the light weight... keep her away from alcohol... it's ICKY!! Hmmmmm...

So Friday, I got my part in A Midsummmer Night's Dream... I'm Mote, a Fairy... just a few lines which is good, and a singing part... hmmm... I failed my driving test at 2:30 and then my mommy bought me a puke coloured chair for my hallway.

Saturday was Ryan's wonderful party. I miss Ryan so much, I really need to spend more time with that boy... Anyhoo, I arrived early so it was just the old gang, Ryan, Peter, Steve and Robbie... it was really fun... And then me and Ryan went out and bought booze together and more people arrived and I drank... On one of my smoke breaks I saw Pierce and Travis wandering down the road so I brought them in and gave them vodka... Pierce ended up getting smashed and randomly getting up with a pillow and going outside. After an hour we decided to go look for him and walking out the door I tripped over his body that had a nice smear of puke comming from his facial area. It was starting to rain so we hauled his ass inside and put him in the bathroom where he puked several more times. There was beginning to be a number of people who needed to use the toilet so we picked him up and put him in the bathtub ... he spat on me and swore a bunch ... but I got him back by writing all over his face with a permanent marker... I went in the bathroom later (after singing a bunch of wonderful songs to gee-tar) to check on my lil boy and he started puking blood and his eyes rolled back and he told me to call an ambulance.... So Steve went in and talked to him and then made the phone call... we hauled his ass back outside into the rain only to have the cops respond to the call... I don't want to talk about that night anymore... just understand that the paramedics made fun of him because I wrote something about a penis on his face... :)

Sunday the Albertan came back (Derrek) with his friend Joe and they spent the night here with Travis... We smoked a lot of pot... the best cure for a hangover...

Monday night, well now, that was last night eh? I was planning on never leaving my house again... but instead Brody convinced me to come out and play. I ended up buying vodka and stealing booze (very good booze) from my fridge and of course, green food colouring. We drank at the sea wall... Me, Brody, Laurina, Bryan, Denis, Darren, and Mike... smoked... Then wandered up to my house and went in the hottub and fuck this shit... I'm too hung over... if you actually care... ask me how my night was... as for me; I'm going to go sit in front of my toilet and hopefully puke all over Travis who just arrived and won't stop talking about Brandy, the worst substance in existance.


Thought of toasters... 03/18/2003, 2:09pm.


March 12, 2003

*YAWN* I = one tired monkey...

The majority of yesterday was spent running around Nanaimo looking for the new AFI cd... t'was found at HMV, 5 minutes before closing *phew*

8pm, Jesse is lying on her bed in her dark dark room listening to the glory that is AFI. You don't get such an overwelming feeling of joy from just music...

"Through our bleeding we are one"


Thought of toasters... 03/12/2003, 9:05am.


March 10, 2003

Right after I finished typing up my last entry I was staring out the window at the snow that was beginning to fall again when along comes a Denis... He was on his way up to the school (duuur I would hope, what else to Victorians do in Nanaimo?) and so since I was bored out of my skull I jouneyed with him. That night there was a secret free show/punk party (oooooh I'm funny) at the Fiesta which we all attended... T'was lots of fun... We lit some poop on fire, found a hidden room with DANGEROUS machinery, stole some bowling balls and ash trays, smoked, moshed, and saw Dave in his poo streaked panties. Mmmm... Brody, Denis, Ryan and Brad spent the night but left early enough for me to freakishly clean my room before the next show. Saturday was spent cleaning and trying to make Travis come over and hang out with me cause I was lonely... At 5 we met Denis and Mandar at the church and went downtown to buy me some booze and knox. We found Jon and Francine and then headed up to my place again where we spiked hair and got to the show an hour late (yay for us). Ohhh and it was snowing ALL of Saturday which made me VERY happy and I will now take back the statement that I made about mothernature on Friday. The show was alright, The Meaning of This was the only band I really liked, although The Decents are still okay in my books. Mandar and I kept trying to start a snowball fight but boys are losers and NEVER WANT TO HAVE FUN so we forced it upon them.... Around 3am we went sledding down the skatebowl hill and burried Brody in the snow... her, Jon, Travis, Francine and Denis spent the night... left around 4:30-5...

Today was horrible... I had my hair spiked up in the morning but it looked HORRIBLE so I had a shower and got to school half an hour late (OH NO!)... in Drama we (me, brody, april and brooke) did our skit, it was HILARIOUS! We had never even read the script over as a group and everyone else had prefected theirs..... and me and April had to shout our lines at each other at the same time and Brody had to be 2 characters that were talking to eachother so she was jumping back and forth saying lines... it was so bad but so funny... *Yawn* I don't care anymore... blah blah blah... Hey, you know what's funny? I've cleaned my room twice in the past 3 days... That's really sad... Well, I wouldn't expect YOU to understand why that's funny... but if you ever saw me clean my room you would understand... I'm INSANE. So now, yes, I'm ALMOST done... (this is my page... HEY LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!! I CAN TALK ALL I WANT BLAH BLAH BLAH!! AND LOOK LOOK!! YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!! NAH NAH NAH!! *snort* I'm having way too much fun.... Anyways...) Travis is on his way and Pierce will be here at 4:30... silly Pierce, Jesse doesn't leave her house...


Thought of toasters... 03/10/2003, 2:35pm.


March 7th, 2003

IT'S SNOWING!! IT'S FUCKING SNOWING!!! YAAAAAAAY!! *jumps up and down until both legs break* Eeeeeeeeee! So happy! I LOVE the snow... and I thought we weren't going to have a snow fall this year... but look look look... right at the end of the season mother nature decided she does love me and graced our horrible town with SNOOOOOOOOW!! .....Oh shit, it's gone... FUCK I HATE YOU MOTHER NATURE YOU BITCH!! HOW COULD YOU TRICK ME LIKE THAT?! RAAAAAAWR!! *sigh* all I wanted was one .... ONE good snow fall... I wanted to play in the snow... I wanted to make snow men, snow angels, and snow forts... but no... I have to grow up and go to school and work like every other loser in this world... You'd better shoot me now before life gets worse than this... WHY IS THERE NO ONE FOR ME TO TALK TO?! I'm going crazy being home alone so many days a week... Tom Petty can only entertain for so long.......


Thought of toasters... 03/07/2003, 11:07am.


March 5th, 2003

So folks, here I am again, in the school library with no where to go. Well, I could always go home, but if I haven't mentioned this before I don't especially like home... I mean, it's not that it's a bad life there or anything major like that, I just don't like my house... and right now it would just be my aunt and I there and that makes it just that much worse. *SIGH* I should really start on my English homework though... you know everyone in that class thought I was away for so long because I had gotten hooked on chemical drugs and was wasting my life away... I HATE RUMOURS. I'm not a druggie, nor am I a raver... and even if I was, I'd still be me, and isn't that all that matters? Well, no... I GUESS NOT EH?! We got interm reports today, I have no grades... no marks what-so-ever. It's awesome... :) Mrs. Roberts (English) is only making me write 1 essay with the option of a second one instead of 5 like the rest of the class. AND instead of doing all the reader responses for my book I get to an essay on it. WHEEEEEEE!! And then all caught up in that class, easy shit if I get myself together. I feel so bleh right now, there's nothing going for me... THIS SONG MAKES ME SAD (Drown) ... I'm not random.

So yesterday, I went to school at lunch because that's when my classes started. I got really sick near the end and missed my first class because I was so devestated by... nothing as usual. So I called my mommy and she left work early, picked me up and took me out for coffee. We went all the way out to Chapters so I could get a Peppermint Mocha Frappachino (THE BEST DRINK EVER!!) and she could get a decent coffee (as she puts it). We sat in front of the electic fireplace they've got there on their nice comfy chairs and discussed my life. I drew Brody a picture the whole time we were talking... hehe Anyhoo, after that shit was finally done with she took me shopping and I got glow stars for my room and a Spongebob Squarepants cup that has him and Patrick on it... IT'S FUCKING AWESOME! It made me happy... Blaaaaah... After dinner I went swimming with Letasha and Rylan, and met Taira, Shaina, Rob, Pierce, Brian, Ryan C, and Ashley there. I had the best time... We all played so much... just had fun... the kind of little kid fun that I haven't gotten to enjoy in a long time... I really am a little kid at heart and all I want to do is play around with people... but everyone is too cool these days... Oh well, we had a skawesome time and that's all that matters... Wow... I'm talking a lot today... I think I'm going to go swimming again tonight... so if you're interested... CALL ME MMMMKAY?


Thought of toasters... 03/05/2003, 1:03pm.


March 2nd, 2003

You will drink too much gin. Not the worst way to
die, but you won't remember too much of your
life. Hey, at least you made some people laugh!

What horrible Edward Gorey Death will you die?



Thought of toasters... 03/02/2003, 11:35am.


March 2nd, 2003

So, where do I start? Why am I even bothering with this...? Hmmm... I am no longer in school full time. On Friday I got to be in about 5 different meetings... My mom even came into the school and sat down with people and discussed MY life. It ends with me telling Baily that I'm not staying in at lunch to sit in her office and have me bitch at me so she might as well give me permission to leave. I have to go see her tomorrow, yippee. Half days... that's what it's ended up on... A & B blocks. Drama and English. If I was only staying half time though, wouldn't it make more sense to leave me in Psychology (my faaav) and Math? Yes it would make more sense, but of course Jesse needs one of her classes to be simple and easy so she can prosper and succeed. Right. This is why I HATE my life. So I left off on Monday... it's now Sunday... how do I fill in the blanks? I never go to school... on Wednsday I stayed home in the morning and then me and Pierce went to school at lunch... I then did not go to school and went swimming instead. I skipped class to go swimming.... actually, that's much better than sitting inside the pool caffeteria all day with all the other losers who are missing class. Friday I went out for lunch with Shaina, Brady, Rob, and Taira... Afterwards me and Brady hung out for a bit until him and Pierce took off... Then I hung out with Rob and studdied for my drivers test which my mom forgot about and left me waiting at the school for half an hour while she sat at home twiddling her thumbs. So I went to Travis's to make oil with Pierce. Of course something had to go wrong and the journey came to pass at my house.... I really didn't want Miller and some weird guy comming over and helping Pierce, but I really had no choice near the end. So after spilling alcohol all over my kitchen we figured out how we could make it outside in an electric fondu pot... Travis and the weird guy ended up doing jib... and that REALLY pissed me off... I fucking HATE jib... and I didn't want it being done in my house.... rawr rawr rawr!! Even pierce railed a line of it... BAD PIERCE! So they left but I was up ALL fucking night because Travis was high and he was talking and talking and talked all night.... YES ALL FUCKING NIGHT I HATE JIB. Saturday I was supposed to hang out with Robert, but he's ill now and I hope he gets better... because he has what I just got over and ick it was horrible. So Saturday morning I went to the SPCA... awwww the cutest dog was there... but it never stopped barking... Mmmm.. last night, everyone was at some stupid rave, that everyone is now rubbing in my face like I would have loved it... ummm.. rave? Probably not... but I was in the mood for drugs that night... so FUCK SHUT UP ABOUT IT ALREADY!! .....Laurina came over with Darren... first time she was in my house, turns out my aunt is her ex. social worker... HAHAHA oh god... that's some funny shit... considering .... well, you just have to know the whole situation to find it funny. Right-i-o... so today I'm about to finally wake up and .... hmmm ... smoke pot and eat breakfast? Yes, I think today is one of those days... haven't had one since the last time me and Brady spent the day together... speaking of brady... call me? yes...? I FEEL DESPERATE ASKING BUT IF I DON'T THAN YOU WILL IGNORE ME!! Rawr! I am not to be ignored...


Thought of toasters... 03/02/2003, 10:26am.

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