Fucking hell, what a horribly weird week... I hope I die tomorrow so I don't have to deal with all this shit anymore... Okee, an update? ... Apparently I'm a ravenous slut and cheated on Brady with both Travis and Derrek... false... The Albertans got the boot yesterday and left for Victoria... I'm officially on anti-depressants (Celexa) as of this morning.... I haven't seen Brody in almost a week... makes me sad... *sniff* ... oh and new semester starts tomorrow... HOW EXCITING!!

Bah... Oh well, school ended Tuesday so I've had the past 2 days off... tiz a nice change... I really haven't done to much though. Mostly stayed home and watched movies cause I feel so sick and for awhile there everyone was believing Derrek and hated me... but meh... I've gone to Laurina's like twice which is odd, like seriously, the longest I was out was when I went and saw the doctor... People have just been stopping by here... Mostly Brady, Travis and Corey, although Justin did come by last night... bastard stole my copy of Donnie Darko... oh well, I guess that means I'll see him soon enough.......

Writing is hard... go look at pictures okay? I FINALLY put new ones up and there are more on the way... =)


Thought of toasters... 01/30/2003, 1:17pm.


January 27, 2003

I have like 2 minutes, so I'm going to just write BLAH and then come back to this when I have time.... tah tah children.


Thought of toasters... 01/27/2003, 11:30am.


January 21, 2003

Nope, I'm not dead... Sorry to burst your lil bubble. Life has been busy, and when it's not I've been on computer ban due to Travis and drugs... *evil grin*

So Friday was the party... t'was alright I suppose, had my fun, had my friends, had my drink, had my pot..... Brody was fucked up on mushrooms and we were all outside bugging her... Jon kept murmering about some old man ripping out her medusa and Rob kept talking about meow. *shrug* I don't even understand..... Anyhoo, we (Me, Brody, Brady, Derek, Ryan, and Lara) left Laurina's pretty late... really late... and went to my house to be boring and watch movies. Spent Saturday with that crew minus Lara. Ate way too much food *barf* but had some fun times, we missed the peace march though which I am still kicking myself for. Show that night, lots and LOTS of fun. We arrived a little late but only missed Trevor's new band. Sunset On Brodway, Blue Sky Mile and End This Week With Knives were fucking AMAZING!! I loved it... sooooooo very very much. Highlites: Some guy streaked the front of the pit, I left my camera with Cody from ETWWK and someone from the table video taped their balls with a happy face drawn on, got very beat up in the pit, fell down the rock ledge on my elbows, found a shoe and two hats...... Hahahaha I'm a dork. I got my boobs randomly groped quite a number of times... in fact, one guy grabbed my chest to stop himself from falling in the pit but ended up just pulling me down with him..... Meh... as Brady and Corey would say... Some people's children..........

On Sunday I did XTC for like the 3rd time with Travis... I didn't fall asleep afterwards this time so I got oober sketchy after... I didn't sleep till last night. Anyways... it was fun, the first cap kinda sucked, but the second one was mmmm good. I enjoy being happy. Happy happy happy... DRUGS ARE BAD KIDS!! Shhhhhhhhhh...... Monday at school was hell... I stopped at Travis's on my way there because 3rd street was scaring the shit out of my... so many cars and people... I wanted to cry. He mad me this stupid sign to wear on my bag that said I was sketchy and to leave me alone... Bah. It was all too true. First block was spent hiding in the caffeteria listening to moby and writing... I nearly flipped when my diskman died. Brody got all pissed at me when she saw me wearing Travis's soother thingy (raver ... weee ... I was chewing, so I needed it to help keep my mouth alive), so I was pretty depressed about that all day... She says she wasn't mad, but yeah, that's why she wasn't even making eye contact with me... *snort* I shall never understand her.... OH WELL... Brady came at lunch and he came into hiding with me.... Last block was spent up here with him, Travis, Taira, and Letasha... me being the only one who is actually enrolled in the class. God my teacher's a fucking ditz. Brady came over after school. We picked up my stereo from Laurina's, then gave Travis a call and he came by. I bleach both of the boys heads, and gave Travy orange spots on his. We started watching a movie and I fell asleep finally... Travis left, 10:30 and then Brady was about to leave when I made him cuddle with me and I passed out again (DRUGS ARE BAD) and so did he, so at 4:30 I had yet another adventure of letting a boy out at the weee hours of the morning. Man that has got to look bad... *rolls eyes*

So, school now... not allowed to leave the class anymore cause, yeah, I'm bad.... We shall leave it at that. I developed a bunch of pictures today... be proud... BE FUCKING PROUD!! Peace out home G's...


Thought of toasters... 01/21/2003, 10:47am.


January 16, 2003

Blah, only 9 and my day already sucks some seriously hairy balls. My mom FREAKED out when I told her I dropped socials... She was driving me to school and started yelling and freaking out and blah blah blah you'll never ever graduate on time Jesse... NEVER!! Bah, so it ended with her pulling over and kicking me out of the car jsut outside of Harewood.... not too far to walk, but still, the point is there and it was fucking cold. Why can't she just understand I'm nothing like my sister. I don't get perfect grades, I don't want to excell, I DON'T FUCKING CARE ANYMORE. Maybe she should help me find a way to care about shit like that instead of bitching at me for doing poorly. And of course the fact that I dropped it to HELP me with my other classes doesn't matter, nothing else matters..... Fucking hell.

Yesterday after school me and Brody stumbled upon some lost lil boys from Alberta. They arrived that morning and were stuck here without a place to stay because the one person they knew got his cell phone cut off and has no other way of contact. So we took them up to Laurina's with us so they could drop off all their bags and meet the everyone. After that we took them around downtown and showed them the many boring sights of this shit hole town... Went on the roof of the Comercial, my first time up, nothing too special, but it's something to do. We got them a place at the Cambie since we couldn't think of anyone with room to spare. When we were in there we saw Justin and Jesse... I had a moderatly good chat with Justin, caught up on shit... blah... It seems like it's been soooooo long since I've talked to him. Oh well. Anyhoo, we all headed back up to Laurina's place. Brady was all sketched out cause he had done E the previous night cause he's DUMB .... Travis was playing with Frank, Corey and Lysse were up to their usual.... and Laurina was of course, on the computer. We all suck. Sooooo... we hung around for not too long, Derek and Brant (the Alberta guys) took off to the Cambie, Brody went home, and I took Travis and Brady with me on the journey home..... Brady ended up comming over, we crashed pretty early and so he ended up staying the night. I had the most fucked up dreams........


Thought of toasters... 01/16/2003, 9:26pm.


January 15, 2003

In photography. It's after lunch on a fine Wednsday afternoon. I have finally gotten my ass out of Nelson's class. I talked to Mr. Freeman this morning instead of going to Socials, since my counselor wasn't at school he gave me permission to skip class. He's the coolest vice p... yup yup. So I went to Brody's class and sat around with her, Brad, Scott and Trevor. It was actually pretty fun. I'm looking forward to having a spare. YAY! So... talky... (FUCK MY LIP HURTS...owwy) Monday I got my stupid root canal thingy, hurt like hell... afterwards though my mommy was really nice to me... haha She took me out for dinner and then dropped me at Laurina's so we could all make crowns. Yay crowns. Tuesday... blah... right before last block Brady and Shaina came to visit me (or so I like to think)...... we went out and smoked and made fun of people in the pool............ After school I went downtown... Lura was being a dumbass, poor Jon. Anyhoo, me and Mandar went up to Laurina's, she went home... I went in... they were all cleaning for Mr. Penis. I was scared. Anyhoo, went back downtown and found Ken. We went out and had coffee and then a smoke or two. Penny picked me up at 5 and we went for dinner at the Hong Kong house. Afterwards to the movies... saw Catch Me If You Can. It's really good, I recommend it to you all... ALL OF YOU. wow, my writing sucks right now... Travis is muttering "smoke time" over and over again and it's too hard for me to concentrate... CAUSE I AM DUMB. Anyhoo, Brady you suck for ditching me, and leaving me with stupid Travis to come to photo instead of you. But you know I love ya anyways..... *SNORT* .............CIGARETTE TIME!! (sing it with me)


Thought of toasters... 01/15/2003, 12:45pm.


January 12, 2003

Oh my god, I really suck at this whole updating thing. It would help I suppose, if my computer wasn't a piece of shit that doesn't have any ram. So so so... stuff. So much fucking shit has happened. I need to be on here every day so you can understand that I have a life now. A LIFE! ME! It's fucking skawesome, and no one gets how lovely that is but me... grrr... love me!!

So, I suppose we shall start with the weekend and assume school was boring. Actually, school was the shit. I've done no work, and I've been so happy and singing and dancing to Sumblime and Me First and The Gimme Gimmes down the halls... I'm so cool. Anyhoo, Friday. Brady, Ryan, Laurina, and Pierce showed up at the smoke pit at lunch and they were both in extremely good moods which spred like FIIIRE. They ended up staying till the end of school, so I skipped my last two classes and hung out in the pool caff with them, Brody, Travis, Jon, Letasha... and yeah, more at times, less at others. It was fucking wicked. SO very much fun. After school, Brody, Ryan, Jon, Brady, Laurina and I all went downtown. Brody left for her date with Steve, we saw Kyle... I got ditched at the bus stop to wait for Brady cause he took off... talked to Lura... Then went up to Electric Lettuce where we picked up Brad W. Muuuur, went back up to Laurina's... got stonned, went downtown for snacks... chatted with Ken... went back up to Laurina's to meet Rob... Brody came back from her date... and I can't remember anything else. Smoking drugs is bad kids... Saturday is pretty blurry too... Brady spent the night, so we spent the morning together. We were supposed to go to his place at some point, but we got lazy and spent the whole day doing nothing. At 5 we left for Laurina's and I took off for the show with Brody, Jon, and Brad H. Now, I don't mean to be mean... but I have to be, cause it's been on my mind for... well, 2 nights now. I really really don't like Brad. I mean he's a cool guy to have around, but too much... I dunno... he was really pissing me off Saturday, I was really sick... and he's said some shit about me recently that you know, isn't especially cool. And honestly, I find him scary... not scary in a 'oh I'm a hardcore punk' way... scary in a 'i'm going to rape you' way... *cough* I hate talking shit, I just need to get that off my chest because I feel bad, but I don't know... I don't like being creeped out by my friends..... so obviously there's something wrong. ANYWAYS... The show really sucked at first, I honestly thought the Armillio Stars would be the death of me. I went outside and smoked for most of their set. Oh, lil Brad was there! And so was Trevor, Peter, Robbie & Ryan... They make me happy... and ticked me until I thought I was going to piss myself. The Lupis Babies were fucking awesome... I'd love to see them play again. An all chick alternative band... me like. Club Fungi was good, but they were missing their bassist, so they weren't as good as I remembered. AND The Crusties, as always, fucking rocked my world. Dave (lead singer) was HILARIOUS!! He was singing Enrique Eglasiass (ummm yeah... spelling?) in between songs, and was telling some very entertaining stories about him peeing and having a drunk woman tell him she'd killed her husband *snort*. (FUCKIN' EH! THIS SHIZNAT IS LOOOONG) The show ended early and we had time to catch the second to last ferry so we took off pretty quick. Half way down the hill though we saw ferry traffic, so we had to run our fat asses down the hill like monkeys to make it... My pants were falling down the whooooole time. Got back to Laurina's around 10 something, smoked a lotta pot with Brady and then took off pretty early and crashed. Sunday: Brady and I spent the morning here eating ice cream, until about 1 when we ditched out and got a ride to his place. I spent about 4 hours there, and then went bowling with Brody, her dad, and her dad's friend Chris. I sucked some serious anus, with my highest score of 96... *cough* It was bad... but I wasn't made fun of TOO much =D ....After that he took us to Cyber City to play fun games, and eat A&W. Afterwards, to Burger King so we could get crowns for the party on Friday..... Fucking hell, that shit is too long... Sorry about that. I'd best be off.


Thought of toasters... 01/12/2003, 10:09pm.


January 8th, 2003

I haven't done this in awhile, but don't worry, I won't bore you with the activities of the week... I went and saw LOTR II last night with Brody, Brady, Robert and Letasha... it was so much fun, I was way too hyper and happy for my own good. I met some little girls on the bus and we played this weird game of tag in the theater... YES I AM 5 YEARS OLD. Weeeeeeeeee.... Anyways, I'm going to fail this class if I don't do SOMETHING, so I'll just tell you a little story of something that happened on Monday.

Me and Brody went to Laurina's after school (because we are very predictable: school...downtown...wendy's...laurina's...home) and found her and Joe locked out of her place. She apparently had been for 4 hours. We arrived just as a man was taking the boards off the kitchen window so she could go in that way.... Once the wood was off they couldn't get the metal secruity grate thing off so they got a stick and tried to push the lock over with it, but failed. I was the only one who could fit my head through the space so they got me to try it for a long time... That of course failed, cause I SUCK. Anyway, they decided I was the smallest one there and that I should try and fit through the metal grate... which is about 6 and a half inches high... So they finally convinced me that I could do it and I hopped up and slid my legs through. I got stuck at my hips and backed out, but they just made me go back and try again. So I managed to get my hips through finally but then I was REALLY stuck and the metal bar was digging into my stomach and I was finding it a tad hard to breathe... So the old guy pryed up the bar just a bit so I could slide through until it hit my boobs and I got stuck again... He kept telling me to take off my shirt cause it was too bulky... and he started grabbing at me so I tried to slither away from him and managed to get un-stuck. I finally got through and pulled my head in side ways... YAY!! So, basically, my story is, I fit through a 7 inch (or whatever) high little slot in a window and fell on to some garbage... Happy days.


Thought of toasters... 01/08/2003, 12:58pm.


January 5th, 2003

Oh my god... not enough sleep... too much sleep... so rawr... Bleh, school will be the death of me tomorrow. Thank god it's early morning and I still have a full day to put it. Hah, hopefully. So we shall start with yesterday, because... well, that's where we left off. I was supposed to hang out with Rob, Ryan, Brody and Brad... but I got downtown late and everyone was pissed off and edgy and Ryan was no where to be found. We wandered the town, well, pretty much just between Electric Lettuce and the sleezy ass mall. Rob left early, and then at around 6:30 when we finally found Ryan, Brad decided to leave... So me, Mandar, and Reeny went up to her place and dyed some hair, woooo! I bleached mine, but there's still random greeny strips and yeah... it's weird. Anyways, Brad showed up at her place and her dad was giving us random trivia for money... Cause he loves us... or something... I won $10 for knowing nothing... I was the dumb one. ((I guess being a blonde suites me *shrug*)) ANYWAYS... We finally left for Laurina's at about 11. We hung around there for... EVER... it was pretty smashing. Ryan, Mandar and I went to Sevey and got food and CANDY... came back and yeah, sat around until Brady showed up and we all decided to go gnoming. We hit up the trailer park, only to find that giant lions and budas are too heavy. So we walked to 7-11 again for more food, and on the way there we heard yelling, screaming, smashing glass... you know, a good fight, comming out of this house on the courner. So we stood there to investigate and after a good 5 minutes this guy comes running outside yelling and starts flipping out and punching and kicking the mail boxes over. It was hilarious. Anyhoo, we mished to 7-11 againm found Penguin, and headed for Kennedy. We eventually found ourselves by my house so I went in and go changed and we headed to the Rose Gardens... (why does that not sound right?) I hopped the fence first and starte checking gardens... I found this HUGE cement gnome in someone's balcony thing so me and Brady had a hell of a time getting it out... whew, heavy. We grazed the town until around 4am causing various forms of destruction. We got back to Laurina's and everyone had crashed except her... So Brody and Brady (wow, that's confusing) entertained themselves by harassing the sleeping people and I was in pissy mood for no reason and taking it out on poor sleeping Brad. Well, we (muah, Brad, Ry ry and Brady) left, went to my house.... Me and Brady got really stoned and watched Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas... Bah, Brad was snoring, me and Ryan were laughing at the whole movie, and Brady was... well... Brady I suppose. ANYHOO... I felt so bad... and still do, cause Ryan had to sleep on the floor yet again... and then he was leaving just as I woke up (the first time)... So yes.

Why did I just write all that? Bleh... SO FUCKING POINTLESS... Oh well, I suck. So... today... Ryan left about 3, Brad at 5, and me and Brady slept and watched cartoons until the pizza came and we smoked up and ate. Yum. Oh oh oh and then around 8 we went down to the Cambie to see some good 'ole punk rock... Bah, stuff... Ryan, Peter, and Trevor played, they were pretty good, even though they just got together, practised once, and then played a bar gig. Hah. But, twas all covers ... some covers of their old shit when they used to all play together....... but yes, Laurina's afterwards. Smoked up, delt with Laurina and Brody cheering "THEY HAD SEX" and then ran away home cause I had a damn curfew tonight. Fuck yes, I am finally finished.


Thought of toasters... 01/05/2003, 2:15am.


<January 3rd, 2003

"I'm a player I'm a player, I'm a player I'm a player...." FUCK YOU PIERCE I HATE YOU!! I can't get that horrible song out of my head!! AHHHHHH!! You and CJ suck and I don't understand your gastly music.

I left the house today! That's right, be proud of me... I woke up at 3 and sat at my computer until Rob dragged me out of the house at 6:00. Me and Amanda were stupid and missed the bus cause we were too busy playing with lil Brad who we ran into at the mall. So we waited with his lil (ummm big) group of friends until 7:22 when the next bus came. Yay for waiting. I called Rob on ...Mike's cell phone and he told us to go to Brads. So we FINALLY get there and and OH MY GOd... funniest thing... This guy down stairs let us in and told us to go up and we've never been there before so we wanted to sneak in and scare them.... So we opened the door and ran in screaming but he has 3 stairs going down to get into his room (IT'S SO WEIRD) and I managed to stop but Brody kept going and went *SPLAT* on the floor and began laughing uncontrolably... It was so smooooth on our part =). Anyhoo, we hung around there for awhile, he made us all sand WITCHES, and we smoked and laaaaa... Then Pierce shot Rob in the leg with a BB gun which caused smoke to come out of Rob's ears... And then therefore grabbing the gun and chasing Pierce all the way to his house (a block or 2). So we all went to Pierces and chilled there till 12 watching dumb movies and READING CJ's porn... Bah, I can't write right now... I'm too edgy... I think I'll go have a fucking cigarette instead... YES I KNOW I SUCK.


Thought of toasters... 01/03/2003, 1:07pm.


January 1st, 2003

HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR. My god, what a riot last night was eh. I have more scars to show for it over any other year. Mainly the cuts on my arms and hand that Brody made for me with her trusty knife... second being the cuts and bruises on my legs from running through the bushes by the sea wall because the cops were after us. Spent the count down in the parkade by the bank puking with Brody, Ryan, and Brad... although all I can remember was someone screaming FUCK THIS SHIT and jumping in my puke puddle.... *shudders*

Read about my fucking night.

Today: I kicked Ryan and Brad out around 1, and went downtown to meet Peter at the ferry. I got there really early and had to wait around in the pissing rain because everything was closed. We came back to my place and hung around here all day until I dropped him at the 7:55 ferry. And now I think I'm headed on out....


Thought of toasters... 01/01/2003, 7:37pm.

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