(MarcH!)
March 31, 2004
the answer to my secret is 6, but you knew that... ;)
Dreamed of toasters....03/30/04, 3:32am
March 30, 2004
It smells like spring, I can feel summer coming and I've never felt so relieved. I can't wait to spend every minute on the grassy knolls with the kids. The day the shaved ice comes will fully mark the beginning.
Today was so beautiful, the sun was shining and the only clouds were big white poofy ones that seemed to just be bathing in the sun. I wandered my way downtown around 2, after a long shower and an hour or so of sitting on my roof spying on my neighbours. Entering the sea wall I nearly sunk into a big pit of quicksand surrounded by blue snow. It was so weird... I had to go around it cause my chucks can't handle anything, especially bluish quicksand, the dog's feet are still dyed. Matt showed up pretty much as soon as I got to the grassy knolls... It was so nice down there, I played with Temperkill for a bit and then just layed down and made fun of the dog for rolling around on his back and trying to eat grass. (It was hilarious, but I think you had to be there)
We soon realised the kids suck and wouldn't be coming down to the sea wall because apparently the cambie is the place to be these days (stupid kids), so we wandered into town to drag them down. We found Alex, Andy, Ashlee, Charlotte, Pierce, Ryan and Francine by Friends of Haven (Laurina and Corey soon after) and spent the rest of the day at the museum throwing marbles at random people below the cliff.
Hahaha APC and The Mars Volta are postponed due to someone in APC being sick... so HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA to all of you who got tickets and have to wait. Oh shut up you know I'm just jealous...
Dreamed of toasters....03/30/04, 10:00pm
March 29, 2004
Made a few mods to the site, having just lost half of my shit from a side project (The Orange Edition) when my computer just crashed an hour ago... did this to calm myself. Only issue is I know that picture up there, labeled poison came from someone's livejournal, someone I beleive to be an artist (therefore, not just found art) and I'd like to ask them for permission on using this piece... ONLY I CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE IS CAME FROM! So... help if you can, if not I'm sorry unamed artist, but I'm in love with this piece.
Now, back to school work, or more web design? Brady, I'm sorry, there isn't much to fuck up on, but trust me... I've lost so many images I've made for you guys I'm wondering if your band is cursed. CURSED.
Dreamed of toasters....03/29/04, 2:12pm
March 28, 2004
"i was right in the middle of a fucking reptile zoo"
Just got home from Jesse, Dave and Carl's house. Ended up there after the show at Dizzy's... strange night. Ashlee and I were known to the random people as "hot punk rocker girls" and too many people were touching my baldness... Such a disorienting party. We stayed up stairs most of the night, I wanted to keep close to the good music (The Mars Volta, down stairs was strange pop-rock) and the people I knew.
Gee Gee Ghara (otherwise known as my blow up doll) died suddenly tonight when a drunken Jaren stole him from the stage and beat her, raped her, ripped off her head, and then wore her skin. *tear* Poor Gee Gee.
*raises eyebrow* I hear Tom Jones...
Hah, I know I have something interesting about the night to say, but my mind is way too blank (blahh rather?) to be sitting in front of a computer. I think the screen has brainwashing telepathic powers over me.
Brrrr... it's cold. And pretty light out. Argh. Where did the darkness go?
Hedwig rocks my yellow plaid socks.
One day I will update more, *laughs* right, and it will be meaningful and interesting. Oh god I hate local band groupies....
Dreamed of toasters....03/28/04, 6:17am
March 18, 2004
Things have been pretty slow the past few days, time isn't exactly moving in my favor... St. Patrick's day was completely fucked. The night consisted of all the kids being drunk, me sitting in the car not wanting to leave it for safety reasons... some gay oral sex in the bushes, loud yelling, some smashing of shit... and me and Hilary driving away to quieter places (with twinky girls and a strange man in the courner reading to himself). The cops came while we were gone and all was lost... we found Carl an hour later and had to take him home (thank god for the car) I sat on the bathroom floor with him for a long time while he poured his drunken heart out to me and kicked violently at the bathtub. Stopped in at the Cambie for a bit to find Booth, watched the Alley Boys play a song or two then went outside to talk to Chris. Stayed out there for a surprisingly long time, Chris is awesome, we talked for so long. Hilary spent the night with all intent of taking me to Vic with her the next morning... but alas mother knows best so Jesse is still in Nanaimo. Seeing the Corporation on Saturday though, I'm excited about that. I actually met one of the guys who made the film on my plane to London, he gave me a pin...
Dreamed of toasters....03/18/04, 11:57pm
March 14, 2004
(Hah, I don't actually expect you to read this...)
I'm so sore. My whole body is stiff, I'm covered in bruises (where I'm not bruised I have flesh wounds, skinned elbows, knuckles and such) and somehow there is a small rock imbedded in my arm. *smiles* The past few days have been pretty interesting.
Friday morning I was supposed to go train for playback theater, unfortunately I was rather sick (depressed mostly, I tend to make myself sick when I'm sad) and hadn't slept all night. I spent the morning sleeping, waking every once and awhile from horrible nightmares (daymares?) and coughing like I've been smoking for 60 years. After running a few errands with my mom (home hardware stores always smell so good) I headed my ass downtown. Ran into a rather large group of darkchildren outside Pirate Chips and followed them to the muffin steps. Laurina was dressed like a pirate and was enjoying herself as a walking indorsement. I enjoyed kicking the walking advertisement, no one fears a pirate that only has a plastic sword. Fumiko and I learned that sticking straws into oranges doesn't allow you to suck all the juice out... *shakes fist at Tropicana for false advertising*
Drinking started early in the evening, by Black Frank (perhaps a pirate theme of the day? ... Andy had spiced rum) around 6 (which makes me sad, you're not real cambie scum children). By the time I made it down there Lotte, Jon, Landon and Andrea were already tanked, Travis and Andy were on their way. Ryan, Fumiko and I headed to the Tally Ho for some Beer and Fireball... that hotel is actually pretty fun to run through, and I could have bought smokes in the bar attached, I just didn't have $8 in change. Pffft. Andrea and Travis were making out under a tree when I returned and after about half an hour they disappeared into the night to presumably have sex. Being the sick kid I am a team was fashioned. Ashlee, Ryan, Jon and I took off into the park to spy on the randy drunks. Jon, being the very HAPPY loud drunk he is nearly got us captured by crawling along an open field (his hair was spiked and his jacket has MANY studs... shiny give away) and was spotted several times. They took off again and this time Ashlee, Ryan and I went on our own... we actually went across the water (by way of the hiway bridge) and climbed down underneath and hid in the shadows... Oh god, we're sick people... Over time the group left until it was down to Ryan, Ryan, Kate, Ashlee and I at one park bench and all of Cedar by the pathway... So to town we went.
I didn't have any money so Trevor let me into the show for free, I ran directly into the non existing mosh pit and got one started. It quickly fell down to just me and one other guy so Fumiko dove at me and we began wrestling on the ground. We fought maybe 4 times in the course of an hour, most outside on the pavement. The last time I could have gotten her really good but it would have involved slamming her into the pavement so I just ended the fight... That's why I'm not any good at it, I don't actually want to hurt the person I'm wrestling... Bah. Crowned King was surprisingly better than I expected, I skanked my ass off with Jesse and Brad and nearly died of dehydration... or possibly the fact that when skanking you get way more beat up by the moshers than if you were moshing with them. It's hard to be a ska kid.
Around 2 or 3 when we finally got back to my house I got a strange call from Melissa... she talked to me for almost 2 hours (I say she talked, because every time I said something she'd go off on a rant about why that wasn't true and just wouldn't fucking shut up) and by the end I was so angry/depressed I had to actually go sit in the other room and smoke a few cigarettes before I felt okay. Talking to Travis today helped though, cleared everything up... god that bitch is so dumb and annoying. Is it really that hard to stay out of my life? I mean, I do live in another province, it's not like it's hard to avoid me.
Saturday I got dragged out by the breakfast club... Hung around in front of the Cambie talking to Uncle John (WHAT'S MY NAME?!) for awhile... dyed Kyle's hair... Attacked ALL the children with sparkles... figured out how to steal shit from the food court when it's closed without getting caught.... and threw bits of roof at crack heads. Most of the kids went to the show, the other half hung out behind the cambie and drank... Alex and I were too cool for that though and sat on the roof of the Christian center for most of the night harassing whoever was brave enough to walk by. I really enjoy it up there.... next time I'll have to pack some ammo.
Today was awesome, I went out to South Wellington (where I used to live) and went and played in Morden mine. The trail to the river is so beautiful, especially if you take the old hidden one that probably only a few people know exists. I haven�t seen a single person today and it feels so good...
Dreamed of toasters....03/14/04, 10:25pm
March 10, 2004
Funny how no one seems to like it when you just leave town without telling anyone... *shrugs* isn't it easier that way? I wasn't gone for very long anyways so shhh. Yes I will leave again, and no you can't come. Damnit does no one understand that running away isn't to keep what you're running away from with you...
I worry about myself sometimes...
Tonight has not been a good night. I miss Travis, I miss Amanda, I miss Jezz, I want a fucking cigarette. I could kill Josh for flaunting his carton around while we were camming... perhaps just stabbing him with a fork over and over and over would do. Perhaps. Something smells as though it's rotting... but I can'y find where it's coming from, I've noticed it for over an hour. God damn it it's driving me crazy.
My aunt is so dumb. I came home to a fire in a garbage can; in the sink in the spare room... *stares blankly* it's a good thing I noticed the smell of burning hair and calmly walked downstairs and announced so... hahaha man I've never seen a midget run so fast.
My playlist just ended, it's a long playlist... I think that means I've been sitting here too long... I think I'm too sick and depressed to move. I really do hate everyone...
I think I'm going to kill Melissa.
Dreamed of toasters....03/10/04, 2:10am
February 20, 2004
Fuck. I should have done this last night... I really should have written last night. I need to go pack. *pulls at hair* GAAAAAAAH!! I don't think I've felt this stressed in so long. My mom really isn't helping either, the friend is here, I really need to burn more cds... MUSIC MUSIC... god I'm going to miss my music if I don't have it all with me.
Got drunk the other night, Wednsday night, with Laurina, Darren, Andy and Ryan *smiles* It was to make up for missing tonight. Is that sad and pathetic? I don't know, you know, I really don't think it is... I smoke too much though. Ryan spent the night, we talked for so long... I think I'm actually going to miss him... the thought of this frightens me.
Yesterday I spent the morning cleaning the house. I did most of it pretty fast, but not fast enough to get me out of the house any time around 1. I was so late meeting Johnnie and I felt like such a jerk, he was still there though which made me really happy. Most people wouldn't have stuck around... maybe it was the fact I had his cds. Anyhoo, Uncle John came out and bought me a pack of smokes (I've met this guy once?) to share with the kids, got tons of bread from the sally. And then got yelled at by the HA's for feeding nature. Fumiko, Charlotte, Laurina, Channy and I all tried on slutty dressed in Electric Lettuce... it was weird. I don't wear dresses, and it was so tight and so short *blushes* and then I was stuck wearing it for longer than I wanted because we convinced Andy to wear one of the ugly plaid dresses. A&B Sound has the shittiest selection of "punk" music. I couldn't even find a Flogging Molly cd.... Now that's sad. Shame on you A&B.
I'm really looking forward to the book Johnnie lent me, The Demonic Comedy. I want to read more, I used to always be reading... I read more when I travel.
Oh no, Jermey just logged on... DISTRACTIONS!! GOD DAMMIT. Oh, and I started talking to Daniel again last night... I miss that boy SO much. I want to go see him... =\ Which reminds me, I had the most fucked up dream last night... and Steve, you were there and you were such an asshole... and you had a lot of cats...
Shit. Okay. I have to start packing now *stomach growls* ...you'll have to wait, okay.. right... now where's my backpack?
......
*POOOOOF*
Dreamed of toasters....02/20/04, 10:00am
February 8th, 2004
Friday night was a lot of fun, many new people meeting new people... It was interesting. Me and Ashlee rescued our love child from this thrift store down on commercial along with some star wars bed sheets (Shhh they were a dollar and made me laugh cause it reminded me of Josh), and a pin that says "Age Old Lover" and it has a picture of a dinosaur on it. Heh, best purchases made in awhile. Except for earlier that day when (I WAS FINALLY ALLOWED TO ORDER SHIT ONLINE) I bought a yellow Modest Mouse shirt and I'm so excited... Anyhoo, we somehow gained an Andy, bumped into Jon and Drew and at the mall found Donnie, Val, Ryan, Kyle (who I hadn't seen in awhile), Pierce, Soni, and Ryan... (and his roomate in the pic) who is new all the way from Toronto. After spending too much time around the fountain (2 pies, and too many cigarettes later) we bummed around town until finally at dusk hitting the sea wall. We collected many more along the way, including a jibtech that smelled extremely bad and was grabbing at Pierce saying he stole his money for heroin =\ Laurina and Brad Park were at the sea wall, and Mattjew was missing for most of the night which was really weird. Spent most of my night with Ashlee and Ryan, we took off around town and left everyone else with creepy Mike and shit loads of pot... ick.
Yesterday I spent most of the day with Matt, Travis, Channy and Troy down at the sea wall... feeding nature, playing with the doggie, and learning how to skateboard. Later on in the evening our group (after growing by some cambie kids) ran into the ones from Ontario (Ryan, along with the 3 roomates, Kat, Jen and Sean) and a Laurina. We headed up to their place, which ended up being just up the hill from me (behind bowen park). I had fun, they're really cool... Jen was interesting to talk to, she has a pretty cool perspective on life. Definatly a different angle... We played a bit of dream phone, listened to some weird chinese vocal music, and probably smoked too much...
God damn my head is fucking killing me...
Dreamed of toasters....02/08/04, 2:00pm
February 4th, 2004
I've come to a few conclusions in the past few days.
1. Lemon meringue yogurt is really fucking good.
2. Travis is getting worse, Edmonton is killing him faster than I realised.
3. I need to escape this town at every oportunity I have, it's devouring my soul. (Victoria on Tuesday)
4. Natural Born Killers is a really good movie.
5. I am much weaker than I used to be.
6. I need to go wakeboarding.
7. There is no longer anyone that I can truely count on for anything and everything... I have to learn how to deal with my own shit on my own. Damn.
8. "The friend" (err... read: meeee) is quickly ruining my life and stealing my mother away from me... leaving me with, squat.
9. My aunt is slowly becoming less crazy, especially now that we stand on the same side of the whole "friend" thing.
10. Too many people seem to think they can solve my problems for me with their simple solutions... It's my problem, it's my life, FUCK OFF.
11. I need to move on with my life... She's not comming back, there's nothing I can do, and crying about it really doesn't help. I need to make my life move in some direction without wallowing in self pity...
Dreamed of toasters....02/04/04, 12:57pm
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