 |
|
|
|
11 Apr 2001
I've got a situation similar to yours going on in my own life right now, only mine may be a little more serious. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what to do about mine. My situation is this: I've got a woman at work, 15 years my elder, who has made it very clear that she likes me--like more than just another co-worker. I've made it clear that I've got a girlfriend, Kristen, and that we're quite serious. She's written me notes, and she even went so far as to buy me a present that I tried to politely refuse, but she wasn't having any of that. I mean, her behavior has been totally inappropriate. Her actions remind me of Cathy Bates' character in the movie Misery.
She's supposedly a Christian. I think what she has is not a relationship with Jesus, but merely a church life. I don't know how to confront her about her actions being inappropriate for a couple of reasons. For one, I'm pretty much a non-confrontational kind of person unless it comes to defending the faith. The other reason why is that I think she's crazy. She just seems like the type that after I confront her, she'll cry sexual harassment.
That's enough about me. Let's look at your situation. By the true definition of courtship, your boyfriend should be doing the courting, and the ultimate goal should be marriage. I pray that's what's going on here; otherwise it's just dating. That's enough about that. That's not what you wrote about anyway.
I'm probably going to have to heed my own advice here. I've had to do it more than once already. So, would you consider the other woman to be an acquaintance of yours? If so, I would suggest that the three of you sit down and discuss the situation. If not, you should have your boyfriend do it. Either way, the specific issues need to be addressed. Not just, I'm jealous about my boyfriend hanging out with you kind of things. What makes you jealous about it? That's what you've got here is jealousy, whether you want to admit it or not. It's not a general jealousy. It's a focused jealousy.
I think, perhaps, that your boyfriend's actions may be a bit inappropriate, too. I really don't think that if two people are in a serious relationship--working towards marriage is very serious--that either person should meet with a member of the opposite sex on a one-to-one basis. This applies to anything from having dinner together, a meeting for work, a school project, ANYTHING. Why? Just look at what you're dealing with now.
Meeting in groups looks like it would be unavoidable, but what about you going to some of those group meetings? I understand tough schedules. Kristen works first shift and I work second, so the time we do get to spend together is precious. I think a Christian woman of any age would be great for her. There's no chance of you befriending her, I reckon, but who knows? If the three of you could get together to discuss the situation, I think that would be best. If you would decide to all meet together, I would definitely advise you to walk away if you feel yourself getting uncontrollably angry.
I didn't look up any scriptures on this. This is just practical advice based upon what I've drawn out of the bible as a whole. I hope this helps!
copyright � 2001� punk rawk bible