xevil

Hi kids, I'm Satan. And I'm here to tell you about a game sanctioned by home domain, hell. This game is very interesting, you can kill people, swap souls, kill monsters, cut things, and best of all use drugs. Do you kids like drugs? Don't listen to your parents, use drugs.

Well, anyway, this game is called X-Evil, you are a person who is competing in a tournament in hell. If you survive, well, if you survive you get a ranking.

There are many different modes to do and play. There's "kill kill kill" where you can set the number of enemies. There are also "scenarios" where I have gotten way higher than you petty mortals could ever hope to get (with the exception of Isak, with 645 kills). And, best of all, it gives you rankings. Isak's highest ranking is "Principal of Beelzebub High School".

The characters range from Arnold (the hero) to chopper boy to the ninja. There's even Yetis, aliens, and killer chainsaw robots. They each have their own advantages and disadvantages (i.e. the killer chainsaw robot is tough, but he can't jump).

There are also great weapons, including machine guns, grenades, lazers, 1 ton weights, soul swappers, flamethrowers, and best of all, the ever bodacious chainsaw (complete with diamond-tipped blade).

Possibly the best feature is its file size. At only 600kb, it's small enough to fit on the crappy computers made by my cabana boy, Bill Gates.

So, that's it. I've gotta go now. I've got a boner. Is it ok if I have a boner? Well, see you later, I'm gonna go look at fluffy bunnies and rainbows, and walk on the beach.