My sources have recently informed me that Chris Kirkpatrick of N*Sync fame, has been hit by a milk truck. Chris, it seems, was on the way to celebrate Hanukkah with his friend, J.C. when this horrible, horrible tragedy took place.
"He just came out of nowhere!" claims bewildered milkman Aaron Jobs. "I was just drivin' along, mindin' my own business, when he runs by screaming at the top of his lungs. I tried to swerve out of the way, but he was too fast for me. Thank god I got him on the rebound. Can you believe it? I almost missed my chance to run down a member of N*Sync."
Though unharmed, Chris has been admitted to Mercy Medical Center. "I know I'm fine, but it never hurts to have a regular checkup. In fact, I was overdue for my weekly colon exam anyways." When I mentioned that colon exams were usually conducted on a yearly basis, Chris replied "one can never be too careful". He then muttered something about anal reamings and wandered off. |
