jaycees

Ah, the Jaycees. I could go on and on about how much I dislike them. Wait, no I can�t. Instead, I�m going to just review their haunted house. Know this: I wouldn�t be writing this if they didn�t have an ad in the Paper.

When we drove out to 44th and Breton, Isak felt the need to continually tell me �this looks stupid, let�s just go to the Nightmare on Bridge Street�. Rather than agree with him, I insisted that we go here, as I had already decided exactly how I wanted to make fun of it.

Upon arriving, I thought �damn! this is gonna be easier than I thought!� The line was being patrolled by a man dressed as death. Unfortunately, his costume made it hard for him to see. Let me tell you, it�s hard to be scary when you keep bumping into things. Other critters included a guy with a really tight mask and an alien type chick that kept trying to kiss Isaac.

The waiting seemed to go on forever. I even ended up making conversation with a bunch of elementary school kids. I still feel that it was a low point in my social life. However, it does bear mentioning that in this line we encountered an actor that was being a �sidler�. For those of you who don�t know what the hell that is, it�s someone who just seems to appear out of nowhere. Quite startling.

Finally though, we got in. As we began our journey, I kept up the wisecracks. This was made easy by the idiot in a Jason mask that kept jumping out at us every 2 minutes or so. As I told him �it wasn�t scary the first time, and it�s not scary now�.

Said idiot proceeded to lead us into a hall of mirrors. Yes, I did walk into a number of walls. Again, he kept jumping out at us. Only this time, you could see him in the mirror before he jumped at you.

The next area had a hanging woman. Isak would like to mention at this point that he thought she was cute and would appreciate it if she gave him a call. His number is... wait, I don�t think I should say that. Sorry Isaac, I forgot my promise to stop pranking you for at least 3 more months.

Well, moving on.

Next we stumbled through strobe lights and people dressed in white. I was almost completely blinded. The strobe room led us into a corridor of stripy walls. This was a fairly disorienting experience, and I almost tripped over my own feet.

After losing what was left of my eyesight to a pair of glaring headlights, we wandered into a swamp-like area. That was when the monster came at us. The Jaycees, those wonderful, wonderful Jaycees had actually taken the time to set up a huge monster costume. I was quite impressed.

The final corridor had a spongy texture. It was somewhat difficult to walk on, but amusing nonetheless. At the end we were shown the door. We spent the next 20 minutes waiting for a ride home. But that doesn�t really concern any of you.

So, here�s the vital info:

Price: $8 for adults, $6 for seniors (by age, we tried saying that we were high
school seniors), and $4 for kids 12 and under
Location: 44th and Breton, where the Hallmark store used to be
Hours: 7:30 to midnight
Time Running: now through Halloween
Rating: 8 (out of 10)

I�ve got to say, it was much better than I expected. The price isn�t too steep, and, despite the cheap looking costumes, it�s still fun.