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| Local idiot has immense testicles. By Noah |
| Steve McKenzie, 19, of Grand Rapids, MI has large balls. I learned of his interesting case while buying a sandwich at Subway. As I sat, masticating my foot-long meatball sub, Steve approached me. Pointing to two grapefruit-sized bulges in his pants, he asked, "have you ever seen a bigger pair than these?" I admitted that I had not, and we got to talking. Steve has suffered the burden of unusually large testicles ever since he was six. He attributes his horrifying condition to being smacked in the 'nads with a whiffle bat 367 times. "I was just out playin' with my brother Bobby, when all of a sudden he got this weird glint in his eyes. He asked if I wanted to play Ro-Sham-Bo. As soon as I opened my legs, he just started whacking away." After consulting a doctor, I learned that such a swelling is not uncommon in such cases, however, it's failure to subside has puzzled medical experts from here to Bora Bora. "Sure, I've heard of swelling, but for the swelling to hang on for 13 years? Well, that's just plain crazy!" says local ball expert, Mike McCarrel. "This boy has to be one of the luckiest guys ever," claims sick fuck, Mike McCarrel. Alas, all is not well for poor Steven. You see, while his balls a big, his shaft is almost nonexistent. However, Steve just shrugs it off, saying "I guess it's just the price you pay for have such tremendous cojones." |
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