distdirt

We here at the Nimrod recently received a letter. A letter from someone geekier than me. It is shown as follows (obviously).

During one of my many recent beatings and inevitable hidings in the trash cans behind the cafeteria I overheard a conversation. This conversation shocked and appalled me. It also made me have to use the bathroom several times, believe in the power of gouda cheese and gave me the ability to cook eggs in their shell.

sexually promiscuous guy 1: Hey.
sexually promiscuous guy 2: Hey. How are you?
1: Fine, you ready?
2: Hell yeah!

They then proceeded to smoke some crack.

1: PUFFFFFF HELL YEAH!!!
2: Now that's some good shit.

After they were high, but still mostly in control of themselves, they proceeded to give each other blow jobs.

1: Uh!!!! Oh God! Yeah, that's it Mikey, blow me to heaven!!
2: Uhhuhunwuw thanks <swallow> Now it's my turn.

Then it was the other guy's turn.

2: God, it's friggin cold out here!
1: Hi little fella!
2: Let's get to it.

Two seconds later.

1: Wow, that sure was a lot longer than usual.
2: Thanks, i've been practicing. You were pretty good too.
1: I attribute it to my mulatto heritage. And the stamina I've gained from playing soccer.
2: Here's your crack.
1: Thanks, let's go back in.
2: Ok.