January 1st through February 15th.
Scrodilis tend to be shy but there is much strength behind their reserve. They tend to be tall (between 5'6 and 6'5) and have what might be called by some as "dark" hair. Scrodili's usually wear neutral colors and enjoy long walks in the rain. They hate the smell of cigarrettes but love Italian food. They enjoy dancing (especially folk dancing) but would never admit it to anyone. Athletic activity is not necesarily their strong suit but they usually know at some level that they could have excelled at throwing the shot-put had they pursued it with any serious rigor. Scrodilis tend to be drawn to Anusiuses but they usually never get too close. Rather, they preserve a consistent gap without having to work at it very hard. It's as though there's a natural distance that they are comfortable with in relationships. Often, Scrodili feel as though they are carrying the weight of the world around with them.
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February 16th through March 31st
Vulvarias tend to be be artistic and playful. They often have long hair and enjoy pizza with sausage and/or pepperoni but never anything unusual like pineapple. Vulvaria's car is likely to be compact to mid-sized and will generally have a nice sound system. Despite many efforts to grow flowers and plants, Vulvarias have little luck as they simply do not have green thumbs. Vulvarias tend to be most receptive to Erectes but the relationships tend to be vigorous and short-lived. Vulvarias also tend to attempt to avoid Syphillises but occassionally end up in a relationship with them which often requires extra effort on the part of the Vulvaria to break it off for good. Despite being warm, receptive and popular, Vulvarias tend to feel as though they are not generally attractive.
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April 1st through May 15th
Erectes are strong, confident and poised. They have an affinity for grape Bubble-Yum but are always disappointed when it loses its flavor so quickly. Erectes tend to whistle in the shower...songs like "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean" and "Purple Haze" by Hendrix. They prefer sweet potatoes to baked potatoes and often find jobs in the area of 'sales'. Erectes tend to find satisfying relationships with Vulvarias but some feel more comfortable with Anusiuses. Erectes are often described as big and strong and are seen as goal-directed and focused...sometimes to their own detriment. They like waterbeds and prefer movies that have Donald Sutherland in them.
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May 16th through June 31st
Clitorios are often short and fair-skinned and many people say they look best in green. They tend to like arts and crafts and many take up hobbies in the area of photography. Clitorios are not perturbed by spiders or snakes but they often have strange phobias for numerous varieties of cheeses. They tend to accidently put their shoes on the wrong feet more than would be expected from most people and yet they rarely lose their keys. Clitorios tend to be well guarded in relationships and they are often described as hard to connect with. They also tend to yearn for Erectes but are often disappointed in any relationships that may ensue. Clitorios prefer to drink from plastic cups or bottles.
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July 1st through August 15th
Syphillises are serious and thorough in their endeavors. They often play the guitar and know songs such as "Stairway to Heaven" and "Strutter" by KISS. They tend to be well built and have relatively large feet. Syphillises are prone to papercuts and enjoy a good game of poker (7-card-stud is a favorite). Syphillises seem to be comfortable in relationships with most of the other signs but have a hard time maintaining long-term relationships. They tend to feel unwanted by their partners and they spend a lot of time hanging-out in bars. Syphillises like coffee with 2 or more sugars and just a little bit of cream although they will drink it black if it is really good coffee, like Starbucks. They hate peas.
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August 16th through September 31st
Mammariuses are generally considered care-givers or care-takers. Their favorite color is blue and they like mountain biking. They enjoy reading mystery novels and always read the last page first. Mammariuses like BBQ chicken especially boneless, as a sandwich. They are in to video games and they all love Asteroids and Q-Bert even though they don't get to play them much anymore. Mammariuses tend to do best in relationships with Scrodilis although they often complain that their relationships don't go anywhere. They tend to give a lot in their relationships and are quite nurturing yet they don't receive much in return. Mammariuses like chilled vodka drinks and enjoy driving slowly in the passing lane on the highway.
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October 1st through November 15th
Anusiuses are generally quiet and calm but occasionally will have outbursts of energy and enthusiam. They like to paint still life's and enjoy watching the USA-network's Up-All-Night programming. Despite their reluctance to admit it, Anusiuses enjoy singing along with country music songs while driving in the car. They tend to save all of the instruction manuals that come with new merchandise and they always send in the warranty card. They tend to be controlling and dominant in relationships but can sometimes be tamed by Erectes. They have much in common with Vulvarias but they often do not feel nearly as popular and well-liked. They love the smell of onions and tend to sleep on their backs.
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November 16 through December 31st
Testiculuses are often described as full of life. They love a good space movie and very much enjoy prime-rib as well as french fries without ketchup. Testiculuses like to wear fancy socks but they often buy and wear uncomfortable shoes. They like to jog, but only around the block...never more than half a mile at a time. Dancing is not of interest to Testiculuses. Testiculus feel quite comfortable with Scrodili in relationships and they often work well as a team. They frequently feel quite vulnerable and are fragile despite their apparent livliness. Testiculus tend to write short stories with the hopes of being published one day. They also hate baked ham.
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