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- Back - Episode 145: " New York, New York " - Season 8, Episode 1 Powers to Be: Promo Designers: JL & Joe #Disclaimer# I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel the Series". They were created by Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television, WB and UPN Television Networks. ~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~ GILES VOICEOVER: Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer... (Scenes from Season Seven) British Country side, Day: (Next Scene) Church, Night: (Next Scene) Living room at Buffy’s house, Day: (Next Scene) Buffy’s house, Night: (Next Scene) Buffy’s Basement, Night: (Next Scene) Hellmouth, Day: (Next Scene) Outskirts of Sunnydale, Day: (Next Scene) Outskirts of Sunnydale, Day: (Next Scene) Outskirts of Sunnydale, Day:
Episode begins: Teaser (We see an aerial shot of an old beat up Dodge Van driving down a dirt
road passing a mailbox every so often and FAITH: That is the most shopping I’ve ever done in my life. That
mall was brutal and so help me god, if you ever try and DAWN: (looks at her bashfully and bats her eyes.) Even me? FAITH: Nah. You’re safe, besides if I hurt you who would I get to do my laundry? DAWN: Long as you don’t mind some of your things accidentally ending up in my closet…that’s fine with me. BUFFY: And being as we share a closet, I agree. DAWN: Yea right, like you would actually wear any of her stuff. BUFFY: I might…like that black leather skirt. DAWN: And the black leather bra that goes with it? Like you could pull that off. BUFFY: Oh, I could so pull that off. DAWN: And so the pre-mid life cresses begin. BUFFY: Hey what’s that supposed to mean? DAWN: Nothing…(Quietly) mother. BUFFY: Oh you did not just call me you’re… WILLOW: Hello driving up here, don’t you make me pull this car over. (Willow says in her manly voice.) KENNEDY: (Whispers to Willow.) Will you give me a good spanking if you do? WILLOW: (Blushing, she looks back to see if anyone heard Kennedy and then whispers back.) You know it. KENNEDY: Are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet? (Smiling at Willow) WILLOW: (Laughing.) Stop it I’m…Uh-oh, Buffy I think we got trouble. (Willow pulls the van into a driveway) BUFFY: What? (Close up of Faith’s face, color drained out of it) FAITH: Oh CUT TO: FAITH: Damit! I knew this was to good to last. I finally find a guy that
I can stand being around for more than ten minutes and DAWN: No you can hide. Willow could do a spell or…. BUFFY: No Dawn. Faith is right. Game’s up. (Buffy gives Faith a look and then motions for the door with her head.) FAITH: (Smiling in surprise) B! Are you suggesting I run from the law? BUFFY: As a law-abiding citizen, I would never say such a thing. But the Army on the other hand? (Makes a more urgent gesture with her head. Faith just smiles as the
girls get out of the van but the military guy just GRAHAM (Off Camera): Private, help the ladies with their bags. (He says coming out the front door of the house.) PRIVATE: Yes sir. (And then goes and collects all the bags) BUFFY: Graham Miller. What brings you to Ohio? (Buffy folds her arms, standing in front of Faith. Graham doesn't look
interested in Faith, just nods hello to Buffy. BUFFY: Oh god Riley! He’s not dead or anything… (Another figure steps out from the house. It's Sam Finn) SAM: No he’s fine and using your hea…I mean bathroom. BUFFY: (Puzzled.) Oh. So then…what brings the governments finest to our “Little House on the Prairie? SAM: We have an offer for you BUFFY: One I can’t refuse? SAM: (Shrugs.) Depends…how do you feel about moving to New York City? Wolf Howl, Buffy's theme plays. Opening credits roll. Staring: With: Special Guest Star: Cut to commercial Act I: Scene 1. (Camera shot of the house, the camera starts to circle around to the
back of the house, in the background FAITH: Gone…my whole record…wiped clean? (Cut to Riley Finn. He nods.) RILEY: (deadpan) Even that incident with the naked preacher. (The camera pulls out to reveal the assembled Scooby gang plus Graham, Riley and the lovely Mrs. Finn) WOOD: (raised eyebrow)Impressive offer. (doubletakes) Naked preacher? BUFFY: And the catch is? RILEY: None. (Smiles) Don’t you think it makes sense? Hellmouth needs a guardian, (to Faith) you’ve got the creds… SAM: Although, we would prefer it if you left the surroundings intact. BUFFY: Hey, so not my fault. XANDER: Yeah…Spike did it. BUFFY: (reproachfully) Xander. XANDER: Ok, it was Andrew. ANDREW: What? (Looking at Riley and Sam scared) FAITH: So, ‘stead of the big house, I cool my heels at the entrance
to hell waiting for the next Big Bad to decide it’s WOOD: (rolling over the idea, head to one side) Well I always did want to teach in a small school district. FAITH: Yeah you are digging this Green Acres stuff aren’t ya? WOOD: (grinning) I’m just a simple, homey New York boy. DAWN: Speaking of… BUFFY: What’s the sitch in New York? I’m assuming Uncle Sam
doesn’t wanna send us there for fashion week. ANDREW: Is this going to take long? “Star Trek: Enterprise” is on in ten, and my Tivo hasn’t been the same since that demon peed on it. BUFFY: (to Riley) Why not give us the speed version for the attention span challenged? RILEY: Ok, there’s been a spate of disappearances in the Central
Park area. We’ve gone in there and found nothing but SAM: So, we’d like to move you all there and set you up about a block away from the park. BUFFY: We get a free apartment? Did we win a game show? SAM: No, you saved the world. And it’s not an apartment; it’s a whole building. BUFFY: (processing all this) Ok. RILEY: And a school, if you want it. To train the new slayers. That would be in long island city; we've got a building lined up. ANDREW: (Musing) So, Slayer Academy...interesting...Though, Giles doesn’t quite have the authority and special powers of Xavier but… BUFFY: Geek out on your own time Andrew (interrupting) Riley... RILEY: Just call me when you've made a decision. Giles has my number. CUT TO: Living room. Night GILES: It all just seems to…easy. WILLOW: Yea, I mean we’ve been the ones circling the globe trying
to find all the new Slayers and now BANG BUFFY: How did they know about the new slayers in the first place? WOOD: Maybe they had made contact with the council before they were destroyed. FAITH: My money’s on a spy…they might of had someone in town keeping an eye on ya B. GILES: No I think Robin may be closer to the truth than we think. I was
being kept out of the loop on a few projects and XANDER: You really think Riley would have been spying on you all this time? BUFFY: Maybe…I mean he did know about me working at the Doublemeat Palace. DAWN: But that doesn’t mean anything bad right? I mean didn’t he send you help for Spike as soon as you asked for it? KENNEDY: I think you all are putting way too much thought into this.
The way I see it it’s simple, stay here and grow corn or WILLOW: (Sees Buffy’s dirty look.) It’s not that simple hon. KENNEDY: Well it should be. DAWN: And just cause we do go there doesn’t mean we can’t come back if things don’t work out. FAITH: And be honest B, do you really want a bunch of stuffy ol Watchers and trigger-happy solders training all those girls? DAWN: I say we try it. KENNEDY: I’ll second that. XANDER: I got to vote with them Buffy. What about you Will? WILLOW: I don’t know…I’m still not sure I like this idea. GILES: Well like Dawn said, we can always come back if it doesn’t work out the way we would like. BUFFY: I’m not so sure either…but since this is a democracy….
Lets vote. All in favor of Moving to New York and hunting Demons in the
park by night and running an apartment building (Looking at Giles) and
a school by day, raise your hands. (Faith raises her hand and everyone looks at her.) FAITH: Hey it’s not fair…you get to move to New York while I’ve got to stay here, down on the farm. BUFFY: (Smiles) Looks like were off to the big city. XANDER: I believe they call it “The Big Apple”. DAWN: Yea, Sax Fifth Avenue her I come. GILES: I’m never going to be rid of you people am I? XANDER: Nope. (Puts his arm around Giles) But just keep thinking about all the Libraries and Museums and you’ll be fine. GILES: I hadn’t thought about that. (He begins to grin from ear to ear.) (Faith leans over to Buffy) FAITH: Does he always drool like that when some one mentions Libraries? BUFFY: Scary isn’t it? FAITH: Frightening.
Camera opens on the front of the farmhouse, its night and you can hear the crickets chirping. All of the lights are off in the house except one upstairs, as the camera gets closer it focuses on Faith who is standing on the front porch alone smoking a cigarette and looking up at the star’s. Buffy peeks out the front door and walks over to Faith joining her. BUFFY: Nice night huh. (She frowns when Faith doesn’t respond but
then starts talking a little louder.) (Faith jumps, a little bit startled.) FAITH: Oh! Dam B, I didn’t hear you come out. BUFFY: Wow, look at you all seriously staring off into space…literally. What’s up, wanna talk. (Faith laugh’s a little) FAITH: Did you ever…and be honest, ever think we would be this close. (Buffy walks up next to her and leans on the railing looking up at the stars.) BUFFY: Once. That Christmas, when you first came to Sunnydale, we all seemed to get along pretty good. Mom was even thinking about asking if you wanted to maybe stay with us instead of that dirty old motel you where staying at. Of course Dawn was all gung-ho about it. FAITH: Dawn? Really? BUFFY: Oh yea, she just thought you were the coolest thing since soda in a can. I was so jealous of the way Dawn would talk about you. FAITH: And then I tried to kill you. BUFFY: And Dawn was back on the Buffy bandwagon. FAITH: Your mom…she was something special, always had a way to see people for what they really could be. BUFFY: Yep. Huh, I guess that’s why she was never scared of Spike. FAITH: Speaking of souled vamps…I'm gonna talk to him you know.
Let him know I'm back in the states. BUFFY: Don't say anything. FAITH: C'mon, B…he's gonna ask. BUFFY: Say we're still overseas. FAITH: You think he doesn't know what he's doing? Look…Buffy…Angel's
no kitten up a telephone pole. (Buffy gives Faith a completely neutral non-committal look. Absolutely flat, no info-face.) FAITH: Honest, he'll be fine…five-by-five ya know? BUFFY: (With a bit of a smile but a bit of a barb too) Just for future note, that's not a phrase I find REALLY reassuring. (Faith gives a rueful laugh at this one brief line that encapsulates a lot of the nastiness they went through.) FAITH: OK, shady lady. Geez, guess the Captain and Ms. Colonel made the right choice. (They stand quite for a moment.) BUFFY: You going to be alright here with all this…quiet? (She asks looking around) FAITH: Yea, I think I can handle it, besides I got Robin to keep me company. BUFFY: Faith and Robin sitting in a tree. FAITH: Don’t you start that crap again or I’ll have to send you to the Big Apple with a black eye. (She says bumping Buffy with her hip.) BUFFY: Oh! Still think you can take me. (Faith looks at her with a grin.) FAITH: One more round before you go…for old time sake. (Buffy looks over her shoulder to see if any lights are on in the house.) BUFFY: Why not. But fully padded, I don’t want to spend my first few days in New York thinking about two day old bruises. FAITH: Sure…take all the fun outa it. (Faith looks at the barn and then hops the railing.) FAITH: Race ya! (The girls both grin and race to the barn, the camera stops when they
reach the door and shows them shutting the door and
INT. bedroom. Faith entering, sees the bed made-up, untouched, her eyes
are immediately drawn left where two plates of darkly colored candles
set on a dresser are burning and throwing shadows and flickering light
into the room. Faith blinks reacting, and we detect movement in the mirror.
She leaps spins to one side, fully prepared for an attack -- instead we
see Wood, blue-night robed, WOOD (Wryly): One day a Slayer's going to surprise me and walk into a room. FAITH (Relaxing, folding arms, nods towards the bed): I thought you'd
be under the covers. WOOD (Mock shiver, then dryly): Lifetime movies just months after the First, Turok-Han and being run through? Please, god, no. (Wood steps towards her and vice-versa.) FAITH: So what's with the smooth & the -- (touches robe) ni-ice. WOOD: Well…(Notices bruise on her arm.) So, I see you just had pleasant Slayer-to-Slayer chat, hm? FAITH: What can I say? Girls will be girls. WOOD: Usually. (Unfolds the robe over his right) Here. FAITH: What, I don't rate the shiny one? WOOD: This? It's showy. Not really all that comfortable. Besides, it's not your size. (Faith turns her back to Wood and the camera, takes off her top, pulls
on a pale blue robe, Robin's egg blue, FAITH: Damn. When you're right -- WOOD: Which is always -- FAITH: Which is when? (Surprised) Well, OK, like now. (Pulls it closer round her) Warm too. But it's not shiny-sexy. WOOD: It's not shiny, no. FAITH: So --- (Faith pulls Wood by the lapels of the robe, but he takes her hands and moves behind her) WOOD: So relax, Slayer. Your shift's over. (He then lightly presses her down to sit on the side of the bed, and he sits cross-legged behind her. He then begins massaging her shoulders.) FAITH: Slayer. So weird. Everyone still calls B that. Nobody else ever calls me that. Ow! WOOD: If that really hurt, no wonder no one else calls you Slayer. (Faith is silent for a few moments as Wood continues the massage.) FAITH: You're not going to split on me as soon as everyone leaves, are you? WOOD: It depends. (Jesting) Maybe I can't put up with the second-hand
smoke. FAITH: Saying I'm sloppy, sensei? WOOD: Naah. But who has whose hands around whose neck? (Faith makes a quick move, and is on top of Wood in a flash, laughing.) FAITH: Good question. (Wood makes a countermove and is on top of Faith and they fall off the other side out of sight.) FAITH: (Off camera) I’ll show you who's sloppy. CUT TO: (A couple enters an Apartment the man walks in first. He looks to be in his late forties and is bald on top with hair only on the sides wearing a nice suit. The Woman looks to be in her early thirty’s and is wearing a nice dress.) MAN: Please come in, sorry about the mess but I’ve lived alone since my last roommate moved out a year ago. WOMAN: Oh that’s ok. (He takes her coat and sets in on the couch, not noticing her lock the door.) MAN: Let me get you that drink we talked about. (He goes into the kitchen as she looks around.) MAN: (Calling from the kitchen.) Are you hungry? I think I’ve got some chips & Dip. WOMAN: Oh, the drink will be fine for now. (She turns around to the camera and then vamps out.) WOMAN: Well maybe just a little something to nibble on. Cut to commercial Act II: Scene 1. We start with a camera shot of the front of the house where Andrew is
carrying a very large duffle bag out the front door and ANDREW: (To the Private) Sorry. WILLOW: Hey guy’s, did you hear anything coming from the barn last night? DAWN: No, Why? KENNEDY: Cause the place is trashed pretty good. WILLOW: I wouldn’t go that far, but it is very messy. ANDREW: I thought I heard some one out there last night when I was in the kitchen. WILLOW: What time was that. ANDREW: Around midnight. I just thought it was one of you Slayers working out cause you couldn’t sleep. KENNEDY: Wasn’t me. DAWN: What were you getting in the kitchen that late at night? ANDREW: Oh, just some milk and cookies. WILLOW: Milk and Cookies? ANDREW: They help me sleep. (Willow just bites her bottom lip as the others just look away trying not to laugh. Then Willow spots Buffy coming out the front door carrying a bag and walking with Sam.) BUFFY: Thank Uncle Sam again for the luggage, would have hated to move to New York carrying all our clothes in little plastic grocery bags. SAM: A woman has to have some standards. BUFFY: Right. (Buffy and Sam walk up to the others in front of the truck.) BUFFY: Hey you guy’s all packed up and ready? DAWN: It’s not like we’ve collected a whole lot since the Hellmouth swallowed up the entire city of Sunnydale. WILLOW: Yea we kind of only got out of town with the shirts on our backs. KENNEDY: And some of those weren’t even worth keeping. BUFFY: I miss my clothes. ANDREW: I miss my action figures. (The girls just stare at him for a minute.) ANDREW: What? Is there something on my shirt? (He starts to look himself over.) WILLOW: Hey Buff did you do some training last night? BUFFY: Who me? No…sleeping like a baby I was. PRIVATE: Can I take your bag mamma? BUFFY: Who? Oh sure. (She says handing him the bag. Willow notices her wince in pain when
she takes the bag off her shoulder and hands it to the Private. GRAHAM: That must have hurt like hell. XANDER: Oh yea. He was getting ready to do the other eye when Buffy came to my rescue and then Spike carried me out. RILEY: I’m still having trouble with the idea of him saving the world. XANDER: Hey, right there with you big guy. GRAHAM: I wonder if it had anything to do with the chip. RILEY: Maybe? (He looks off as if he just had a thought.) (Xander hands his bag to the Private and then looks around.) XANDER: Anyone up for one last stroll around the old homestead? ANDREW: Me! (He says excited and then shirks down when every one turns to him with questioning eyes.) KENNEDY: That actually sounds like a good idea, being this will most
likely be the last fresh air we breath for a while. WILLOW: Na, you go ahead. KENNEDY: Ok, come on Andrew. (She says putting her arm around him and
walking back toward the house GILES: Now don’t you hesitate to call if you need help identifying a type of demon. WOOD: Giles, we’ll be fine really. GILES: Or if you have any questions at all…on anything you can always. (Faith cuts him off.) FAITH: G-Man chill. We got it bro, and if we need your help well call. Don’t worry. (Willow sees Faith has a little bit of a bruise under her right eye.) WILLOW: Hey Faith, were you training last night? (Faith looks at Buffy who is looking away and then back at Willow quickly.) FAITH: Yea I worked out kind of light last night and forgot to clean up. BUFFY: Light work out? (She says surprised.) FAITH: Yea nothing to heavy, just a light toss before bed. BUFFY: Really, so that’s just make up under your eye? FAITH: Yea bumped into a board that shouldn’t have hit me in the face when I ducked. BUFFY: Zigged when should have zagged huh? FAITH: Yea something like that, but it won’t happen again. (She says smiling.) (Willow walks up behind the two of them and puts her arms around both of them making them jump from the pain in their shoulders.) WILLOW: Oh and we were all getting so close. (Buffy & Faith both squirm out from under her arms with the look of pain on their faces.) FAITH: Yea. One big happy family. RILEY: Ok, lets get this show on the road. (As Xander, Andrew & Kennedy make there way back to the group.) (Every one begins to hug Faith and shake hands with Wood, saying good-bye. FAITH: Alone at last. WOOD: Light work out last night huh? I don’t suppose Buffy was there? FAITH: Hey, that’s just between us girls. So what do you want to
do first? (She asks taking his hand in hers as WOOD: We could run around the house naked. FAITH: (Grinning from ear to ear.) You read my mind. (She then runs to the house taking off her top on the way with Wood right on her heels following her lead.)
Camera starts with a shot of New York city and then move’s in on
the school from the air as a green army bus and two Humvee’s pull
up in front of the school as we hear Frank Sinatra sing: RILEY: Well what do you think of the school Giles. GILES: Well even though the building isn’t completely finished
it’s still very nice and I expect it will be a wonderful SAM: We were able to salvage some things from the school you attended in England. GILES: That’s wonderful, I’m glad that Caleb was unable to destroy the Watcher Academy as well as he did the Head Quarters. RILEY: Yes well the explosive device he used on the Academy was more
of a firebomb meant to trap the XANDER: As apposed to the just blowing the holy hell out of the building like he did with the HQ. SAM: Yes, well both devices were extremely successful considering that
80% of the students that were XANDER: I’m so glad you got that guy (turning to Buffy and then
back to the others)…to think what he might RILEY: Speaking of which I’d really like to take a look at that weapon. I’m really curious to see what it’s made out of. BUFFY: Well you can tell your boss’s that it’s in a safe place and that having it analyzed by your people was not part of the deal. DAWN: So no you cannot play with her new toy. She’s really not the sharing type, trust me I know. SAM: Are you sure, because if we can find out what it’s made of
we might be able to make more so… RILEY: No, that’s ok honey. It belongs to her and it’s her call. BUFFY: Thank you. RILEY: Not a problem, but that does bring up a question I have. BUFFY: About the Scythe, Really? (Gives him a look as if she’s not surprised.) RILEY: No, about Spike. (Turns to Xander) Yesterday you said Spike carried you out of the winery. XANDER: Yea? (Looking confused) RILEY: Well it got the three of us talking last night. (Pointing toward
Sam & Graham) About why he stayed in DAWN: Well besides being in love with my sister, maybe he just wanted to help. ANDREW: Plus he got his soul back. GRAHAM: Yea but why? He was still evil and in love with the slayer? Why
would he go get his soul back if he was evil? RILEY: It kept me up for a while last night thinking about it and I think I might have an idea. XANDER: Good then maybe you can explain it to me. BUFFY: To us. (She says with grin leaning in to give him her full attention) (Riley looks and sees every one is waiting for his reason for Spike wanting a soul.) RILEY: It's possible that his brain adapted to the chip, somehow began
to trigger a guilt response at the WILLOW: (Excitedly to Buffy.) Oh! Hey we read a paper on that in Professor Walsh’s class, from the Journal of Experimental Psychology. BUFFY: (looking confused) Journal of what? WILLOW: It was on the animal behavior processes remember? BUFFY: Oh…gotcha. (Turning to Riley) You mean, like, with the dog and the bell and the food...only with the guilt and the pain. RILEY: (Raises an eyebrow surprised she remembers.) Yeeeah...just like
a dog. So when Spike wanted to hurt humans, BUFFY: (Shakes her head quickly as if coming out of a trance and turns to Graham) Professor Walsh is still dead right? GRAHAM: Yea, why? BUFFY: Just tiring to find out who physic boy is sucking up to now. (Graham laughs) RILEY: It's just a theory. But I'd like to test it out. Maybe we could catch us another vampire install a chip, let it go and see what happens. XANDER: Like a catch and release program. DAWN: Like they do with animals. RILEY: Right but I think we would should try it with two. One who wants it and one who doesn’t. BUFFY: Well you keep looking for that one that does and I’ll keep staking the ones that don’t. RILEY: It's just a theory I'd like to test it out…someday. KENNEDY: Ok, so we’ve seen the school and all the neat little training rooms and stuff but when are we going to go check out our new place. BUFFY: Well Riley and I kind of talked about this a little yesterday. And in order for us to make it look good we cooked up a little story. RILEY: And to make it look somewhat believable we had people going around the city yesterday buying stuff and packing them into moving boxes. DAWN: Stuff? What stuff? The whole city is gone; every thing in the city was buried under…well every thing else in the city. XANDER: Yea, there’s no way we could have gotten anything out of there. SAM: Well the government kind of covered up the story a little bit on this side of the country. WILLOW: What do you mean? BUFFY: They mean every one in the country thinks the city was flattened by an earthquake first, and then slowly sank into a giant sinkhole. WILLOW: Oh. RILEY: And by now every thing should have been moved into the apartments Buffy assigned you all too. KENNEDY: Wait a minute assigned us…you mean we have no say in this? WILLOW: Kennedy I’m sure it’s fine. KENNEDY: But we should have had a say in this. GILES: I’m sure the sleeping arrangements well be fine and we can always trade if were not happy with them. KENNEDY: Fine. BUFFY: Ok then are we all ready to go see our new home. (Kennedy was about to say something else but Willow lightly nudged her to stop.) BUFFY: Ok…lets go home. Cut to commercial Act III: Scene 1. Camera shows Andrew & Kennedy in the kitchen. Andrew is unpacking
and washing pots & pans as Kennedy is unpacking plates and glasses
and placing them in the dishwasher. Buffy is in the living room unpacking
boxes of bath towels and is dividing them into GILES: I’ll never understand how you work on those confounded machines…I just don’t understand them. DAWN: Well that’s why you’ve got Willow and me. KENNEDY: Find anything? I am so in the mood to kick some demon butt. DAWN: Well we searched thru all the files from the last week at the area
morgues. Did you know there are at least five GILES: Those are most likely new vampires, but I would like to get a closer look at this one. (Hands Buffy a piece of paper with the picture of a corpse on it.) BUFFY: Where’s his skin. ANDREW: Oh I want to see. (Runs over and snatches paper from Buffy.) ANDREW: Eeeeww. (Xander & Willow enter thru front door) XANDER: Eeeeww what. (Looks at picture Andrew is holding) Oh. GILES: Willow, do you want to come with me to the morgue? WILLOW: Oh sure, who doesn’t like looking at dead bodies? ANDREW: Can I come? Please, I never get to go anywhere. WILLOW: Oh…ok…it will be good to have some one more grossed out by it than me. ANDREW: Thank you, and I promise not to throw-up on your shoes again. BUFFY: (To Willow & Xander.) So where the two of you been? WILLOW: Well Xander and I went door to door and introduced ourselves to those that answered. XANDER: Yea, I’ve already got two days worth of repairs to do and we only met half of the tenants. GILES: Any one we need to look into a little more? The files on some of the tenants that Riley gave us were somewhat vague. XANDER: There was one guy. The guy in 3 C, he never said a word to us just kept talking to his cell phone. WILLOW: You just don’t like him because he was cute. DAWN: Who was cute? WILLOW: 3 C…Jack something…I don’t remember his last name…but I think it’s Jewish. XANDER: Yea well he was evil. Trust me I know evil when I see it and he…he’s evil. GILES: And your such a good judge of good & evil. (Buffy and Willow laugh) XANDER: What? What did he just say? GILES: Oh nothing. (Turns to Buffy who is now standing next to Willow & Kennedy.) KENNEDY: Buffy you ready to hit the park? XANDER: Park? I’m in. BUFFY: You coming with Dawn? DAWN: Na, think I’ll just hang out hear. BUFFY: You sure. DAWN: Yep, I’ll just hang out here and finish putting everything away. BUFFY: Ok, but you better have done something when we get back and not just played on the Internet the whole time. DAWN: I will, trust me I’ve been dieing to see what Riley put in the weapons chest. BUFFY: No playing with the electro guns if there’s any in there. DAWN: Ok. WILLOW: By Dawnie. DAWN: Bye. Have fun. Slay something evil for me. BUFFY: Stay out of trouble and no leaving the building. (Hugs her sister) DAWN: Ok. (Waves good-bye and shuts the door then turns and runs to the weapons chest and opens the door’s grinning from ear to ear.)
Dawn walks out of the restaurant on the first floor of the building she
lives in sipping on a milkshake she had just bought and then sits on the
front stairway leading up to the apartments. She looks up and down the
street and notices a girl about her age looking at her as she approaches;
she’s about Dawns height, with long red hair. She’s wearing
tan shorts and a tank top with open toed shoes GIRL: Hi, your one of the new people that just moved in up stairs right? DAWN: Yep, I’m Dawn. (Dawn holds out her hand.) GIRL: Bobbie but my friends call me Bob. DAWN: Bob? Sounds weird calling a girl Bob. BOBBIE: I have weird friends. DAWN: Ooo, common ground already, see. BOBBIE: So where you from cause my mom doesn’t think any of you are from New York. (Bobbie sits down next to Dawn.) DAWN: Sunnydale California. BOBBIE: Never heard of it. Is it close to LA? DAWN: Used to be. BOBBIE: They moved the city? I didn’t know they could do that. DAWN: Yea they moved it all right. Down. (Bobbie looks at her confused.) BOBBIE: Oh wow, yea I did hear about that. It was on the news and stuff…whole
city. Gone, just like that. (Dawn just shrugs her shoulders) DAWN: Na, stuff like that used to happen all the time there. What’cha buy. (Dawn asked looking at the bag Bobbie had.) BOBBIE: First Harry Potter, English edition. DAWN: Uhm...aren't they written in English? BOBBIE: (giggling) The ones you get here? They dropped the English slang for US slang. DAWN (disbelieving, not disputing) They didn't! BOBBIE: Did. DAWN: Geez, what if they changed the Latin too? It could completely invalidate a spe--- (BOBBIE of course is looking at her like she's crazy), I mean, that's pretty rotten, where can I find them? BOBBIE: They're easy to pick up. A little more pricey. DAWN: Mine had...mine were kinda...special. They were presents. From my mom. (Dawn a bit gulpy) BOBBIE: Oh...right. She didn't move out here with you, huh? DAWN: She's been...she died a couple years ago. BOBBIE: Wow. How's your dad (she nods upward toward the apartments) taking it? DAWN: My dad lives in -- Oh! Who, Giles? (Laughs) No, he's like ---he was really close with my parents. They all went to college together. (The girls then realize someone is standing in front of them wanting
to get up the stairway. It’s a tall young man about 6 foot 3 inches
tall, wearing a baseball cap with sunglasses so you can’t really
see his face to well. He has on tan cargo shorts with a white t-shirt
that has the Detroit Red Wings Hockey team logo on it with hiking boots
and socks that you can barley see. DAWN: Who was that? BOBBIE: I don’t know his name but the kids at school are calling him the Sandman. DAWN: He goes to your school? He looks like he goes to college. BOBBIE: Yea, He's new too. He keeps strange hours, him and his dad. I'd
see them leave together early and DAWN: Strange? BOBBIE: Artsy or...thrift shop...or...I don't know. Strange stuff. DAWN: Why do they call him the Sandman? BOBBIE: Some big fight with the jocks the first week. The first day, a guy picks a fight with him and BAM, one punch. The kid was on the football team, so next day, the captain of the team picks a fight with. Wham! Same deal. Then the word went out, that Friday after school, the rest of the team would take care of him. Nobody saw the fight -- just saw him walking away from it. Three more guys were out all next week. Now every one is scared to death of him and no one talks to him unless they’re trying to get him to join their gang. DAWN: Where is he from? BOBBIE: Mom said she talked to his dad by the mailboxes the first week they moved here and he had said they came from Michigan. DAWN: You ever talk to him? BOBBIE: No. But he smokes up on the roof. He used to leave his butts
on the ground around my flowerbed, so DAWN: But you haven't talked at all. BOBBIE: Mystery guy who takes the football team down and doesn't even
get suspended? DAWN: He is kind of big and scary isn’t he? BOBBIE: Oh yea…so when are you starting school? DAWN: Oh...sometime this week. It's, it's not around here though. It's in Long Island City. BOBBIE: Private? DAWN: It's sort of...an experimental school…a new one, but hey what else is on the roof I haven’t been up there yet? BOBBIE: Well there’s my flowerbed, some tables that people use and a pigeon pen. DAWN: Pigeon pen? What’s that? BOBBIE: Mr. DiBella has a bunch of homing pigeons he’s been raising. It kind of looks like a chicken coop if you’ve ever seen one of those. DAWN: Yea the farm we were living on in Ohio before we moved here had an old one. You want show me it. BOBBIE: Sure, just let me drop this off and my place and let my mom know I’m back. DAWN: Cool. (The girls get up and go inside.)
Camera pans on Buffy, Kennedy & Xander walking threw a sunny Central Park and stopping by a lake. XANDER: Very cool -- you can rent boats. BUFFY: Yes. Just the thing for chasing water-skiing vampires under a full moon. XANDER: I picture more a lazy sunny Saturday drifting along with a supermodel
I've casually bumped BUFFY: Nice. But I think all the supermodels are in the Natural History Museum now. KENNEDY: I hear they've been stuffed. BUFFY: For the permanent exhibit. XANDER: Well, perfect. Maybe they won't notice if one's out on loan? KENNEDY: "Mannequin" lives. BUFFY: Don't you think you might want a date that, you know, breathes? XANDER: *coughs* I don't think I'm gonna touch that one Buff. (Buffy winces, but good-naturedly.) BUFFY: I think I've pretty much run through the list of eligible vampires. So...now I'm living the song, "I'll make a brand new start of it". XANDER: The city that never sleeps -- perfect territory for the Slayer, I'm thinkin'. KENNEDY: *A* Slayer. XANDER: I patrol corrected. BUFFY: Does this mean I can even have lunch dates that don't pfoof to dust? XANDER: Permission granted. Permission insisted on, in fact. KENNEDY: And maybe your next guy will be breathing. BUFFY: Yes breathing is good. Next boyfriend must be a breather of the oxygen. XANDER: Well as nice as this little trek threw the park has been, I’m kind of bored with the whole walking threw the grassy meadows thing. KENNEDY: Yea living in the country kind a gave me my fill for a while. BUFFY: Ditto. Well it’s getting close to dinnertime, we should head back. XANDER: You think the others are having fun at the morgue? (Camera switches to a dark room, as the camera pans back slowly we see
that it is a morgue and it shows us three KENNDY V.O.: You know how Willow and Giles are. (We then see the forth table just has a sheet on it and then we here a scream and things breaking.) BUFFY V.O.: Yea there probably having a ball examining the dead bodies. (We then see Willow and Andrew running into view and circling the other three tables.) XANDER V.O.: In the name of science of course. (We then see a naked Vampire is chasing them around the morgue.) BUFFY V.O.: Oh of course. (We then see Giles chasing after the vampire with a wooden stake in his hand.) KENNEDY V.O.: Yep I can see them now with big grins on their faces having a ball.
Camera shows an old beat up & rusted heavy-duty steel door. We hear
a bang as if some one was kicking it on the other side and BOBBIE: The door really sticks sometimes. DAWN: I see that. Good thing were not in a hurry. BOBBIE: Ok, so if you ever want to find me, starting here would be a good guess. DAWN: (Looking around.) Nice…is that your flowerbed over there. BOBBIE: Yep, come on I’ll show you. (Dawn & Bobbie walk towards the flower bed as the camera pans back to show the whole roof. We can see the entranceway to the roof, some patio furniture, a picnic table, the flowerbed and what looks like a small run down shack with chicken wire covering what looks like the front porch of the shack. We then switch to another camera with a close up shot of Dawn & Bobbie with the shack behind them.) BOBBIE: I wanted rose bushes but we can't afford them so I had to settle for these. (She says while fixing some of the plants.) DAWN: What’s that? (She asks pointing at the shack) BOBBIE: That’s the pigeon shack. DAWN: That’s a pigeon shack…it does look like a chicken coop. BOBBIE: Pretty much the same thing. (She says as they walk over to it) DAWN: Phewww! Smells like a chicken coop (waving her hand in front of
her face at the smell) Rank. DAWN: Maybe he’s out of town. BOBBIE: No, he would have asked me to take care of it. (Dawn looks to the west and sees that she can no longer see the sun from behind the bigger buildings.) DAWN: It’s getting late, I should get home. BOBBIE: Yea, I should get home to. I’ll stop by Mr. DiBella’s on the way down and see if… (There was a load thud from the roof door being kicked open that made the girls jump.) BOBBIE: Oh hi Mr. DiBella. I was just talking about you. (Mr. DiBella is the man from the end of ACT I and he is still wearing the same suit.) MR. DiBELLA: Really BOBBIE: Yea, I just noticed that the birds had no water and there food is low. MR. DiBELLA: Oh well we should take care of that right away shouldn’t
we Bobbie? BOBBIE: Sure. MR. DiBELLA: Would your friend like to come to. BOBBIE: Oh…how rude of me. This is Dawn, she just moved into the building and this of course is Mr. DiBella. DAWN: Hello. (Dawn started to look Mr. DiBella over rather curiously) Are you ok mister? MR. DiBELLA: Well yes, as a matter of fact I’ve never felt better in my life. DAWN: Really? (Dawn notices something on Mr. DiBella neck.) I think we’ve
got some bird food in my apartment MR. DiBELLA: Why don’t you go get the food and Bobbie here can help me…clean the coop while your gone. DAWN: No! I mean I need her help to carry the water while I carry the food. BOBBIE: Is every thing all right Dawn. (Mr. DiBella gives Dawn a look as if he knows she knows.) MR. DiBELLA: Where are you from Dawn. BOBBIE: She’s from that city that was swallowed up by the earth in California. DAWN: Sunnydale. You’ve heard of Sunnydale right Mr. DiBella. MR. DiBELLA: Why yes, my girlfriend was talking about it. She was there just before it happened. (Dawn starts to slowly move towards the door pulling Bobbie along who just looks confused.) DAWN: Don’t you mean your sire? MR. DiBELLA: So you know all about my kind huh. Well that should just make this a little more fun. BOBBIE: Make what fun? (She asks looking from him to Dawn and then back at him still confused.
And then he puts on his game face and Bobbie lets out a scream.) Cut to commercial Act IV, Scene 1. (Dawn grabs Bobbie’s arm and pulls her toward the door.) MR. DiBELLA: Where you going? Don’t you want to help me feed the pigeons? (Dawn and Bobbie are pulling on the roof door but its jammed. Dawn moves
Bobbie behind her and takes a MR. DiBELLA: Oh, you’re going to put up a fight, that should make this even more fun. DAWN: Really, well I’m guessing were your first victims so I’ll tell you a secret. MR. DiBELLA: And what’s that dear? DAWN: You wont be the first vampire I’ve dusted. MR. DiBELLA: Oh really? Well I’m just so scared. (As soon as he finishes saying scared the door is kicked open and smacks
the vampire right in the face knocking him to the ground. SANDMAN: Sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya. DAWN: Run! (She grabs Bobbie and pushes her threw the door way. The Sandman steps
aside and looks at the girls trying to BOBBIE: Hurry he’s coming! DAWN: Come on, four keys and I can’t find the right one. MR. DiBELLA: (Bursting into the hallway.)Here’s Johnny! SANDMAN: Move! (He pulls Dawn out of the way and kicks the door in with one shot and
then push’s both girls in and SANDMAN: What in the Sam Hell was that? (Dawn goes to the weapons cabinet and starts to go threw it as Bobbie and the Sandman are holding the door shut.) DAWN: It's a Long story. BOBBIE: He's -- he's a vampire, right? DAWN: Apparently not that long. (Dawn takes out her cell phone and hits
speed dial.) (She hangs up and looks the weapons over again. The two teenagers turn
and see SANDMAN: Right. Vampire. DAWN: (pulling down her weapons.) Don't worry. He can't get in. It's a thing. SANDMAN: So... So we what? Just wait here till the morning. (His eyes widen as DAWN slings a crossbow over her shoulder & gathers two stakes & holy water.) SANDMAN: What're you doing? DAWN: I can't let it roam the building. SANDMAN: Call security. DAWN: For now, I'm Security. - God I'm starting to sound like my sister. (She tells them as she moves to the door and opens it and watches the
vampire run at the open door way and SANDMAN: Good to know. (Dawn looks at the confused vampire sitting on the floor.) DAWN: Did that hurt? It looked like it hurt, I bet it hurt. (She asks
the vampire as she hands a wooden stake to the boy and SANDMAN: What? kill him…you can't be serious. BOBBIE: He trusts me -- the pigeons -- why can't we -- DAWN: HEY! (Un-slings her crossbow) THIS is NOT for RenFair. SANDMAN: Your serious? DAWN: Believe it! You ok with this Bobbie? BOBBIE: But I like Mr. DiBella. DAWN: Well I’m sorry, I’ve lost a lot of friends two but
that isn’t Mr. DiBella any more and (Bobbie throws some of the Holy Water at the demon, which sizzles as
soon as it touches his skin. MR. DiBELLA: You’ll pay for that you fat little brat. But being
as your mama's fatter, tender -- and better seasoned. I'm off. BOBBIE: Oh god! We' got to -- SANDMAN: - There's no enough room in the hall -- DAWN: Hey! Pigeon-droppings!!! Yeah! Hot-butter-beans-soup's-on-c'mon-in and have a taste!! -- Get back guys ---! (The Vampire jumps at them but Dawn moves out of the way quickly and the Sandman punches him as soon as he lands. Bobbie goes to throw more Holy Water at him but he side steps the water and back hands her knocking her on the couch it then catches Dawn who was trying to stake it from behind and throws her on top of Bobbie.) SANDMAN: Why don’t you pick on someone your own size? MR. DiBELLA: Gladly! (He jumps at the boy knocking him to the ground. He has one of the boy’s arms pined to the ground with one of his and is about to sink in his fang’s when Sandman, rather than trying to push him off, sinks his own teeth into Mr. DiBella's cheeks, ripping into the burnt skin and ferally snarls & spits out. Mr. DiBella recoils and Sandman takes his fingers and jams them into his eyes, hard causing Mr. DiBella to jump to his feet. MR DiBELLA: You frigging little…(His eyes light up in pain as Sandman kick’s him right in the groin). SANDMAN: Hey, ladies PRESENT you mook, watch your tongue! (Mr. DiBella straightens up and is ready for the next lunge, when we hear the whiz-thwop that we know is a crossbow -- and as he dusts, we see DAWN behind him; she holds the crossbow up and then blows the tip like a gunslinger blowing away the gun smoke. She smiles at SANDMAN who is shaky, stunned, but smiling back.) WOMAN AT DOOR: Excuse me but is that crossbow registered? Don't you know we have strict antique weapons laws in this city? DAWN: How about pointy sticks? Maybe you wanna, you know, come on in
and check to make sure it's all legal? BOBBIE: You named your crossbow? DAWN: Just now. WOMAN: (Walking in) You're all so precious and clever. Annoying too,
killing my new boy toy. DAWN: You know, for hell beasts who don't breathe, vamps sure waste a
lot of breath. Blah-di-blah-blah -- geez, WOMAN: (Stops, scoffing) Your sister, a Slayer. Sure. DAWN: (brightening) Hey, you've probably heard of her, haven't you? Buffy Summers? WOMAN (freezes momentarily, then advances): Name-dropping's effective on gossip columnists -- not on -- BUFFY: (peeks round the doorway.) Hey, my ears are burning, somebody drop my name? DAWN: If it's OK, Buffy, do you mind if we take this one? WOMAN VAMPIRE: Oh shhi -- BUFFY: Four-letter words, it's all I ever hear in this town, the park, the subway...well not in my building. BOBBIE (To Dawn): Her building? DAWN: We can dust her Buffy. Honest. (Sandman and Bobbie both look toward Buffy, aware that she's the authority. The Vamp's getting ready to see which way to jump.) BUFFY: Hit her with your best shot. (The Vamp is looking towards Buffy when Dawn grabs her by the wrist flipping
her towards Bobbie, DAWN: Stake her again! (Sandman misses, Vamp kicks Bobbie aside, pulls the stake from her hand, but then the third time he strikes home.) SANDMAN: (Coughing as the vamp dusts.) And baby makes three. DAWN: The first time's never easy. KENNEDY: Not bad…nice moves for normies (nods at Bobbie and Sandman) Sorry, non-Slayers. BUFFY: Maybe my normal-in-quotation-marks sister wants to explain how two vamps got in to our apartment? BOBBIE: Not to sound stupid -- but what's this slayer-stuff?
We see Willow, Andrew and Giles sitting in the back of a cab. GILES: Well I really see no reason to mention the vampire we encountered to the rest of the group. WILLOW: No…no reason at all. ANDREW: I haven’t been then scared since we left Sunnydale. GILES: (Turns to Willow.) How’s your head? WILLOW: Ok. The ringing finally went away. GILES: Yes well…I am sorry about that. Didn’t realize the door swung both ways. ANDREW: They should really start dressing people at the morgue…I mean why do they have to take their clothes off for any way? WILLOW: Right there with yea on that one. Giles if I die before you,
promise me you won’t let anyone see me naked… GILES: Oh, yes…of course I will Willow. ANDREW: If I ever see another naked dead man it will be to soon. WILLOW: So a live naked man would be fine then? GILES: Oh good lord. (He says putting his head in his hands to which Willow just grins and looks out the window as Andrew begins to babble.)
DAWN: Where’s Xander? XANDER: Here! (We hear him say weakly but all we see is his hand waving to them from the hallway as if he were lying on the floor.) BUFFY: We were still a couple of blocks away when you called. KENNEDY: He kept up for a while but just couldn’t hang when it came to the stairway. BUFFY: OK Dawn. Splainy, what's with the Home Slayerkit routine with
two ready-to-eat vamp snacks? DAWN: Hey! This, so not my fault. We were just riding the mellow before Rogaine boy showed up. BUFFY: Can you un-Oz that for me? DAWN: We were attacked on the roof and we had to run down here. BUFFY: Where you should have stayed with two non-invited vamps banging their heads against nothing and trying to get in. DAWN: You said choose your ground. BUFFY: What? DAWN: That's what you told me, you tell everyone: "Choose your ground."
The first one threatened to feed on KENNEDY: (nods in agreement.) You do say it. Lots. BUFFY (deflated, but still angry): OK, leading to part two: who's us? SANDMAN (doesn't wait to be introduced): Mick. Actually, it's Michael, but that's kinda prissy and altar boy. BOBBIE: Definitely not prissy. DAWN: Or altar boy. XANDER (getting up from the floor onto his knees, looking in for the
first time): Nice work. Splintered wood. Cheap too. BUFFY: Wasn't me. MICK: It did give a bit easy. BOBBIE: So, Mick is it. You haven’t said three words to me in three
months, MICK: You always seemed pretty much in your own world...what's your name again? BOBBIE: Bobbie -- I mean Bob. Funny. I thought the same thing about you. MICK: Being attacked by things that aren’t supposed to exists is ...kind of... BOBBIE: A rush. BUFFY: You think it's a rush? Here's the late breaking news flash -- you've stepped into MY world. Neither of you should've even seen a vampire, much less been fighting one. We're going to talk about facts of life and death -- mainly death. KENNEDY: (in a quiet sing-song falsetto whisper aside to BUFFY) Spee-eech. MICK: It's early. I'm up for it. BOBBIE: Beats the sci-fi-dot-com chatroom to hell. (to DAWN) 'Fang-fatale', huh? Tu parles français alors? (Dawn smiles at Buffy, very much a ha-ha-I-have-snappy-friends-now smile and Buffy gives a Giles-glare back.
(Buffy and Dawn are walking down a path in Central Park. It’s dark
except for the streetlights DAWN: Thanks for not coming down too hard on them. BUFFY: If anyone's to blame, it was me. Not them. Not even you for a
change. (Buffy and Dawn share a rueful sister-smile.) Too many changes.
And I should've had a Slayer there. It still feels that if I'm out on
patrol, then Spike must be back guarding... DAWN: Maybe he is. In some way. Maybe trying...to keep a promise. BUFFY: Philosophy Girl. (Beat) I want you to have friends, Dawn. Good
ones. DAWN (hushed by this directness from Buffy, quietly): Thank you. BUFFY (has to lighten the moment): But -- 'Fang-Fatale'? That I'm not proud of. DAWN: Yeah. Kinda stinky. I'll leave the Slayer-puns to Slayers, deal? BUFFY: No deal. The uncertified slayage, fine. The puns -- you don't get off that easy. (They walk for a moment in silence, then Buffy stops and looks around the dark park.) BUFFY: Ok, this city was not supposed to be this boring. DAWN: What do you mean boring? BUFFY: I'm just -- itchy. I see one vamp in three days and I let my non-Slayer sister and her Next Gen Scooby's take her down. DAWN: 'Next Gen Scooby’s'? Why not Junior Scooby’s? BUFFY: Because that sounds like something you eat during a movie. 'A box of Junior Scooby’s please.' DAWN: But 'Next-Gen Scooby’s'? That could be acne cream. Or a chintzy shampoo. BUFFY: (Motions Dawn to be quite as she begins to grin a little.) You ready for some more dusty fun? DAWN: (Looking in the direction Buffy is.) If anything happens to this sweater you’re buying Willow a new one. BUFFY: Deal. CUT TO: Four people coming from the direction they are looking. IAN (vamp 1): Oh, look! Just when it looked like we were going to have to go out to eat. BECK: They're too thin. Nouveau cuisine is passé. IAN: (Sniffs) The short one's nicely seasoned though. What's that spicy smell? GWEN: (Sniffing) Exotic. Ethiopian? IAN: She's BLONDE. BROOKE: Ethiopian like BEFORE we were dead. No wonder your little mag crumbled. IAN: IanCusine never had the backing. If I'd been able to get more advertising -- BROOKE: If you hadn't been so desperate for advertisement, you wouldnt've walked into our nest -- Wait...catch the whiff of the tall one! BECK: (breathing deeply) The same but...really different. IAN: Not only home delivery, but gourmet. BECK: I dunno -- anyone get an uneasy feeling...I mean, they smell...really different. Maybe they're spoiled. Or maybe not human. GWEN: They're human, they're small, they're delicious looking - IAN: And I say they're OURS. BECK (hanging back): I'm really not all that hungry. Can't we go downtown? I'm in the mood for Italian. IAN: Yeah, and when we get there, you'll've changed your mind and ask can't we have Korean. (Meanwhile, Gwen and Brooke are stalking Buffy and Dawn.) IAN: And as usual, the girls are getting first pickings while I sit back
here trying to persuade Your Majesty to tuck into her dinner. GWEN (to BUFFY): Hey sweet thing. That's a pretty sassy jacket -- lots of attitude. BUFFY: Thanks. Sorry I can't say the same about yours. (Gwen gives a bit of a squeal and stomps her foot.) BROOKE: Me-ow -- I like your style, Blondie - well, not your hairstyle,
obviously not. I wouldn't bother reaching for a gun. BUFFY (pulls out the stake): And it would've been so nice to put a few holes in that last-year disaster. Why don't vamps ever renew their subscriptions Vogue? If you can't afford Vogue, InStyle's a perfectly acceptable -- (Gwen and Brooke lunge, Dawn trips Gwen, Buffy does an easy quick two-step-stake, and dusts the pair.) BECK: Holy crap Ian, I told you! Gwen and Brooke -- IAN: SUCH a tragedy -- if you aren't going to EAT, then at least help the preparation -- (Ian vamps, Beck does likewise and follows.) DAWN: Buffy! BUFFY: Dawn -- up the hill! (They run up off the path onto a small rise, Ian and Beck scurrying up
after. Buffy snags a baseball-bat-thick fairly straight branch, IAN: Good idea -- what do you say Beck? Take those spears, have some shiskeBOBBIE? (Ian turns, but Beck has taken off down the path.) BUFFY: Will you be dining alone tonight, sir? Oh, sorry…(Buffy hurls the spear through Ian.) But the buffet's closed. CUT TO: Beck scurrying along, -- he's doubled back round to find Sir
Thomas and BECK: Sir Thomas! Charles ---!! SQUIRE: That was a pretty piece of balls-up as I've ever seen. Even for you lot. BECK: How were we supposed to know she was -- special? (Squire kicks BECK, steps on his back.) SQUIRE: Insolence and incompetence. SIR THOMAS: Oh please Charles, just because Jack Lewis was your tutor
at Magdalen doesn't mean YOU BECK: Patissiere. SIR THOMAS: -- a baker. SQUIRE: Still, my lord, it's merely one Slayer and another girl. SIR THOMAS: Sisters, I rather think. BECK: How can you t-- (The Squire silences him with a kick.) SQUIRE: I know you have no fear of the little Stickers. SIR THOMAS: Fear? No. Respect? For this one, I do, oddly. As for the tall one . . . (Brief shot focused on Dawn as she and Buffy reach the path -- SIR THOMAS: The tall one interests me. See her lines, Charles -- graceful,
elegant. Not like the short one -- I grant you, she's quite the little
bitc*h (Sir Thomas says this like one who's bred animals, not in its contemporary
sense) -- but the tall...She's a dancer. Made for better things. (Squire
bows.) And do let him up, Charles. He may be useless for hunting, but
he may still be good for tracking. (Squire lets BECK up, who wipes his jacket.) SIR THOMAS: Some of them, very, very diverting. (sighs) Happy days, the fifteenth century. SQUIRE: As you will, Lord. As we hear these last lines, the camera follows Buffy and Dawn down the path, laughing and tossing the spear back and forth, Dawn showing Buffy moves and vice versa to the voice-over: and as the camera shows us the moon over New York city... SIR THOMAS: Oh yes, Definitely, as I will.
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