Here it is. The entire month of November for the year 1999. Don't you just feel like a part of my life? Doesn't it make you all warm & fuzzy inside to know that I'm sharing a part of myself with you? I know it does. Read on, starting from the bottom.
November the 30th, 1999: I was sitting at home on Friday afternoon after a busy morning of fighting off after-Thanksgiving shoppers at Best Buy with my friend Jenny (Hey, Jen!). I was listening to my new Jump, Little Children & Guster CDs, thinking about how badly I want to go to the Guster show on December 7th in Columbus. I called Mike to see if he would take me, but he wasn't home, so I just left a message & went back to my thinking & listening. A few minutes later, he called me back, saying that he had called while I wasn't there, left his house, returned to get something that he forgot, & saw the answering machine blinking. He said that he was going to the comic book shop, so I entertained myself until he showed up at my house. Mike let himself in & came in to see what I was doing on the computer. I brought a chair in so he could sit down, & for possibly an hour, I sat & talked to Carl & listened to my vast collection of MP3s while Mike read a magazine. It was nice, but also weird. Finally, we decided to do something, so we called Heath & asked if he wanted to come & see Dogma with us. He was cleaning out his car, so he opted not to go. We decided to see something on our own, but Mike had to go home first to get money, so I put on some clothes, & we left. (Don't you love how I just randomly slip in stuff about me being undressed in one of these stories every month or so? Really makes you think, doesn't it?) We drove separately so he wouldn't have to bring me back home later, & I listened to my Jump, Little Children on the way over. I swear, if you haven't heard anything by that band, you're really missing out. I think I would call it one of the best records of the year, & I loved so many albums this year. (Yes, you can call them "records" & "albums", even if they are CDs, Josh. Don't even start with me.) So, I sang along with my boys while Mike listened to classical music in his car. He got to his house a couple minutes before me, so he was already inside when I got there. When I walked in, I noticed that there was a strange man sitting in his living room, but the strange man didn't look up, so I decided to leave him to his book. I followed Mike back to his room & sat in the big, comfy chair to read some comic books & to avoid the strange man. I read the best Inhumans ever written, but the last one in the series was really ambiguous, so I'm not exactly sure what even happened in the end, which disappointed me to no end. Mike's dad came in after a bit & asked if I wanted to eat dinner with them. I really didn't want to actually eat, just because I wasn't the least bit hungry, but I decided that saying "No, actually, I don't want to eat with you & your family, but I will go to the table & play footsie with you if you'll let me" might give off a really bad vibe, so I agreed. The meal was really Thanksgiving-y, & Mike's mom kept talking about how her bowl of floating cranberries was a bad attempt at formal decor. I actually really liked the bowl, but you just don't argue with Mike's mom. The strange man from the living room was actually the husband of Mike's older sister, Eileen, as I had assumed all along. (His name is Nathan, for future reference.) It's kind of weird to think that Eileen actually got married. Seriously, if anyone was to remain single all of her life, I would imagine it to be Eileen. I haven't been around her that much, so I could be way off-base here, but Eileen seems to be the anti-Mike to me. Mike is crazy & weird & completely unconcerned about school, while Eileen is quiet & soft-spoken & seems like the type who would have studied her butt off in high school. (But like I said, I don't know her at all. She might ride around on her Harley in a leather miniskirt after table-dancing at Hooters on the weekends for all I know.) I just can't see anyone looking at her & saying, "Now, that's the kind of woman I want to grow old with," but hey, she's a nice chick. Nathan introduced himself & asked my name. When I told him, he started asking if my family was in farming, because he knew of some farmers in the area with my last name. That turned into a weird question & answer session about farming life in general, because Nathan had been a 4-H kid just as I am. That made Mike's little sister, Karen, spring to life, because she claimed that her mom had told her that she wasn't allowed to be in 4-H. Mike's mom, never wanting to seem like a dictator, quietly defended herself to Karen & the rest of us, but I imagine that she was actually karate-chopping Karen under the table. (That's just like her, you know.) Somehow, Mike's dad joined in the conversation, because it turns out that he had been a farm kid of sorts himself. You would never know it by looking at him, but he had bought a pig when he was younger, & his sister named it Lindora or something. He said that the pig was made into a pet, & she would come running to him every time he went outside - all 220 pounds of her. He went on to talk about raising ponies for 4-H & cleaning out stalls every day, selling his hogs when prices were high, & all kinds of random farm-y things that I would just never expect him to have any knowledge about. He brought up baling straw & stacking it in the barns, so Nathan & I shared our baling stories, as well. That's when you know you're friends with someone, I think - when you can talk about pigs & baling with his dad. I've loved Mike's dad from the first time I went over to his house & his dad was prancing around in little shorts like all older men do, but somehow, sitting there in their little dining room . . . I don't know, exactly. When I think about it now, the room seems really bright, & I can picture us all at the dining room table, smiling & finishing up the last of the apple pie as the television cameras slowly back away from us & zoom to the outside where huge snowflakes drift to the ground, the sound of jingle bells radiates from a horse-drawn sleigh, the pond seems to be icing over just enough that we'll be able to skate tomorrow, & big band Christmas music can be heard throughout the countryside. But we're all warm, of course, because the fire is crackling in the family room, & we're wearing our cable-knit sweaters . . . In reality, Karen was flicking the paper turkey her dad had hung on the light fixture above the table, Mike was thinking about how much he would like to be playing video games, Eileen was solving algebraic equations in her head, Mike's mom was eyeing me to make sure I wasn't attempting to play footsie under the table with her husband, Nathan was looking at Eileen lovingly & thinking that he would like to name his first son Zebediah, Mike's dad was wondering whether his wife would mind if he casually asked me out for a drink later, & I was wondering which of his parents Mike could have possibly got his oddness from. None of us were wearing cable-knit sweaters. (But boy, oh boy, I wish we had been.) I think I'm looking for some stability in my life right now, so eating dinner with the family is right up my alley. Especially Mike's family, because I actually like all of them, especially Karen. I think we're more likely to get married than Mike & me, contrary to popular belief. After dinner, Mike & I wanted to go to a movie, so he looked thru the paper to see what was playing. When we decided on Sleepy Hollow, Karen told me about her 8 year-old friend who wanted to see it. I told Karen that it looked too scary for me, & I'm 18, so we had a good, hearty chuckle over her ignorant friend. (Why don't people ever really heartily chuckle over anything?) We ended up at the Regal to see the movie. I was really expecting to be freaked out by it, because the previews look so creepy, but I really wasn't. Of course, in the first two seconds of it, I was holding my breath & preparing to shield my eyes from the impending death, but I didn't even need to do that. I liked all the weird blood-spattering that was going on, but Mike didn't seem too happy with it. After the movie was over, we walked out of the theatre, & there was this theatre worker just standing there, pointing toward the door, as if we would have been confused or lost without her. Once we passed her, we just looked at each other, obviously knowing what the other was thinking. Mike's one of the few guys I can go out with who knows what I'm thinking. Either everyone else is too normal or I'm too weird; I'm not sure which. We stopped for a second to talk to this kid from our school, & I admired the men on skateboards as we were leaving. Oh, to be cool enough to ride a skateboard around inside a movie theatre. (Sarcasm, sarcasm.) When we got back to Mike's house, his mom & sister were playing Monopoly with Eileen & Nathan. Karen asked me if I was scared by Sleepy Hollow, & I told her that I was scared enough, but Mike said that it wasn't the least bit scary. Nathan asked if it was funny, because comedy is the opposite of horror or something, but I think we all just kind of ignored him. Karen asked me what the scariest part of the movie was, & when I got done explaining the Tree of Death, Mike's mom looked at me, horrified, & asked why I liked it. I told her it was just a cool movie. I don't think she likes me anymore. After Karen was thru quizzing me, Mike's mom turned to me & asked, "Does your family play games, Katie?" I know that she was just asking me to include me in the family's conversation & whatnot, but the way she said it & stared at me led me to believe that she thinks that my family & I would rather sit around & worship Satan than play games. I told her that we're a big card-playing family, & I'm sure she was picturing us at our kitchen table playing strip poker. Karen wanted me to be her Monopoly partner, but I was in the mood to just watch, so watch I did. Mike's mom started interrogating me on my college choice. The whole family pretty much agreed that I'm an idiot for wanting to go to a college as big as OSU. Mike's mom wants me to go to a Christian college from what I collected. Mike's going to one, after all, so I'm sure she thinks that's the way to go. I don't necessarily think that it's not, but I certainly don't my Mike to turn into a preacher. Not that there's anything wrong with being one, but that might make having nasty, dirty sex with him a bit more difficult. Ha. Moving on . . . Eileen was having a bit of a bad game. In fact, she was having a perfectly wretched game, & she was making that fact very well-known. In fact, every time someone would land on her property & ask how much they owed, she would say in an incredibly loud & agitated voice, "You don't have to pay me anything, because all of my properties are mortgaged!" (I'm going crazy with the boldness tonite, aren't I?) The first time, I thought it was a bit amusing, but it got kind of old . . . extremely fast. Whenever someone would complain of being in jail, she would say in an incredibly loud & agitated voice, "I wish I was in jail. Then I wouldn't have to pay anything, & I wouldn't be so in debt. It started getting rather irritating, & I thought I was going to be forced to cram the thimble down her throat. Luckily, Mike reminded her that it was just a game & told her to shut up, so I was content. A bit later, the chef show on PBS seemed to be of more interest to Mike than I was, so I took my cue to leave. I listened to Jump, Little Children on the way home & sang along loudly to the angry songs, because there's an angry chick inside of me just dying to break out. Good night. Oh, & by the way, Mike, http://www.nookie.com is not appropriate for virgin eyes such as yours.
November the 28th, 1999: Ahh, Thanksgiving. I do love Thanksgiving. I'm not exactly sure why. No one ever buys me CDs for Thanksgiving. No one ever buys me chocolate for Thanksgiving. It's not like the other holidays. Yet, it's so satisfying. Perhaps I like it because it's so relaxed. At Christmas time, everything is so planned. Every moment of the day has been mapped out to provide maximum family togetherness time. On Thanksgiving, though, we take everything slow & arrive places when we feel like arriving at them. Every Thanksgiving, we go to the house of someone in my Dad's family first, then we move to my aunt Brenda's house for dinner. Yesterday, however, my cousin Lindsey had to work until 3, so we went to Aunt Brenda's first. There's this completely different atmosphere at the two houses. We always want to go to Aunt Glenna's house on my dad's side first to get it over with. That's not to say that we don't like my dad's family, but there, everyone's expected to act a certain way, say certain things. I never got close to those aunts & uncles, because I always thought that I didn't have anything in common with them. I seriously regret that now, because I've realized how much I like them. Anyway, we went to Aunt Brenda's first. Joanie & I hung out with Bethany, of course, but we also talked to our cousin Keith a lot. I realized yesterday that I don't really know any of my family. Like, Keith is extremely fun & he's my age, but I don't think I've ever even seriously talked to him. Anyway, we did the whole eating thing, sitting around thing, leaving thing. We went to Aunt Glenna's. I had been talking the whole day about how I didn't want to go, because I knew that my cousin Lindsey would have her boyfriend there. That drives me insane. It's supposed to be this family holiday thing, but it's a known fact that my cousin's can't live for one holiday without some sort of contact with their men. Lindsey's older sister, Jamie, started bringing her boyfriend to all of our family gatherings a few years ago, & I hated it. The problem was that I hated him, & he took away from the time that I got to spend with Jamie. Then, they got married this summer. I don't hate him anymore, though. I found out that he's really nice, & he's a computer genius, so I get cheap upgrades from the company he works for. (There's a good way to get your new family to like you, by the way.) But I was not looking forward to eating with Lindsey's boyfriend, Josh. I told Mike that there's no better way to ruin a Thanksgiving than by having to eat with Josh. The problem is that Josh is the same age as me, in my grade. I've always considered him to the be the biggest idiot, too. In middle school, he was this short, stupid dork. I never bothered to get to be friends with him, because I knew that there was no way he was going to help make me a better person in any way. I hadn't talked to him for about 6 years, so I just assumed that he was the same non-sensical fool he's always been. I was wrong. When we got there, my little cousins, Alex & Will, attacked Joanie & me & asked us to go downstairs to play some Nintendo with them. They had MarioCart, my favourite game, so we readily agreed. What they had failed to tell us was that the thing wasn't hooked up to Lindsey's television. As we were standing around, pondering what to do, Josh came down, & without a word, he hooked it up. Then, he looked at me & left. I was like, "Hmm . . . an act of kindness from the idiot?" I was intrigued. We went upstairs for dinner, & my aunt wanted pictures of all of the kids in the family. That's really odd, because we all live within 5 minutes of each other, & I go to school with all of my cousins, but I guess you'll have that on holidays. So, Josh got in our pictures. I don't know how I feel about that, but I wasn't full of hatred for him at the time, so I think that should tell me something. I always feel kind of sorry for non-family members at family functions, because they're so exposed. Like, as we were getting our food before we sat down, Josh dropped some noodles on my dad's plate, & all of the adults started teasing him about it. Josh doesn't talk, so he just smiled & got Dad a new plate. I was impressed. About this time, my uncle thought it was appropriate to begin talking to my dad about my "boyfriend". I don't know how it came up & how my family even knows about him, because I'm certainly not talking about him with them. They're getting their information somewhere, though, & it's not even correct information. I hope it's not my dad passing these false rumours around, because he knows nothing of the subject. And since that confused everyone except one person . . . Continuing on, all during the meal, Josh kept laughing at everything I said. I realized that he actually understood the stuff I was talking about, unlike the rest of my family. We went downstairs again when the meal was over & started watching Cocktail. I thought Josh would go off & play pool or something with the other guys, but he stayed & layed on the floor with Lindsey & watched the movie with us. I was amazed. After a while, my little cousin Callie got bored, so she started battling me with random wooden sticks she found in Lindsey's basement. We went over to Josh & started poking him, & he played along with us so well. I think he would actually make a good father. I realized that I didn't hate him. I'm kind of disappointed that I can be so easily taken with someone I've always considered so far below me, but at least I won't dread his being there at Christmas. Speaking of that, I've decided not to celebrate Christmas this year. I know I don't talk about Mom much, but she's doing pretty well right at the moment. (For those of you who are new to the site, my mom has some sort of weird brain tumor thing happening.) Like, I know that she totally understands what's going on & all, & she functions as a mom pretty well most of the time, but I can't see Christmas being too great this year. I think I'm mostly worried about the gifts, & I don't mean that in a selfish way, either. I'm not worried about gifts for me at all. As far as I'm concerned, if my parents took back everything they've ever given me & stopped loving me tomorrow, I would still feel like they've done an incredible job as parents. In fact, I'm not sure that a kid could ask for better parents. I'm worried about gifts for the rest of my family, though. My mom has this insane sense of humour, so she buys the quirkiest gifts. People specifically look forward to her presents, because they know that she gives the oddest stuff, stuff no one else would ever think of buying for anyone. I'm seriously worried that I'm not going to be able to fill her shoes this year. I don't even know if I want to attempt to fill them. I'm not totally sure that her ability to buy weird stuff is gone, though, so perhaps I'm worrying for nothing, but I'm entitled to my worries. My grandma asked me at Thanksgiving what I want for Christmas. I told her that there's no need for me to make out a list for her, because I've chosen not to celebrate Christmas this year. I said I'd rather have an ordinary day than to have a Christmas where everything isn't the same. I'm huge on family tradition, by the way. Grandma just smiled at me in a really grandmotherly way & said sweetly, "Katie, we celebrate Christmas every day in this family. It's just that on one special day, you get presents." I laughed. And laughed. And laughed some more. That's enough of that, I believe. On a final note, I'd like to say "cashola" to Heath. Cashola. That's all.
November the 22nd, 1999: There's this place in Columbus called COSI. The name stands for something like Center of Science & Industry, which makes it sound like it'd be some boring, stuffy museum, but it's not. I used to go there as a kid with my parents & on school field trips & whatnot, so I have a ton of memories about the place. It's kind of a haven for curious children. There were so many things that actually made science fun - rat basketball, the crazy fetuses in glass that showed how a baby grows, & my favourite, the planetarium. Well, my old COSI was gone, but a new one just opened a couple of weeks ago. We didn't have school yesterday, so on Tuesday or Wednesday, I thought, "Hmm...I haven't been to the new COSI yet. Perhaps I'll ask Mike if he wants to go there with me on Friday." When I saw him a few periods later, he said that he & Sheena had been discussing COSI at their lunch table, & he wanted to get a group together & go there this weekend. I said "Hooray!", & we started making plans. So, yesterday at 11:30, I left my house & headed for Sheena's. I was unbelievably excited. I remembered how cool the old COSI was, & I just couldn't wait to see the new one. (I know, I know. I'm 7 years old, aren't I?) Nick hadn't gotten there yet, so I went inside with her for a while. It was kind of weird, because Sheena used to be one of my best (if not my best) friend in middle school. I practically lived at her house for two or three years of my life, & we did so many great things together in the basement of her old house & her present house. (Am I the only one who thinks that sounds dirty?) I remember sitting on the leather couch in her old basement & watching VH1 when she wasn't allowed to watch MTV, because her mom thought MTV was inappropriate. I remember helping her mom pick out the pumpkin-colored paint in their new kitchen. Wow, I'd forgotten how much I liked her. We used to go to the mall every single weekend & watch a movie, & then we started liking Tracey, so we invited her along. But then we both kind of changed, & Tracey & I started going to the mall every weekend without Sheena. So, it was odd being back there & talking to her step-dad like I used to back in the day. Odd, but nice. Nick came a while later, so they got in his Blazer, I got into mine, & we went to pick Heath up. We were supposed to meet him at the school, but when we got there, he hadn't come yet, so Nick & Sheena went to get gas while I waited on him. He came a few minutes later, so we sat in my car & talked until the other two got back. I like talking to Heath. I think it may just be his voice. Or maybe it's just the way he talks. Like, we were talking about Stephanie, this weird friend of ours, & then we moved on to something else. When we were finished with that conversation thread, we were silent for a moment, so Heath said, "Yeah, Stephanie's pretty weird," even though we had stopped talking about that like hours before. I don't know why I like that, exactly, but I do. It's comfortable. So, Nick & Sheena came back, & we left for Mike's house. Heath played with all the weird junk in my car on the way over. I bought this pair of woman's legs that's supposed to be some kind arm strengthener when I was in North Carolina last weekend (another story I need to tell), & I don't really care about the strengthening action, but I want to hang them in my rearview mirror. Heath was trying to see how long he could hold them closed, though. I also noticed what a good driver Nick is. Perhaps he was only driving well because he was following me, but I was impressed. I'm a sucker for good driving, after all. When we got to Mike's house, he came outside, & I noticed that he wasn't wearing the right pants. He told me on Thursday that he was going to wear the same pair of pants for the next five days, just because he could, but he didn't. It kind of disappointed me, but I was also relieved, for obvious reasons. Mike had to hold my legs closed for longer than Heath before we could leave, because he had to prove himself to be a bigger man or something. Nick drove us to COSI, & he & Mike talked about indoor soccer the whole time. Indoor soccer makes me happy. I have good memories of it last year, because that's when Sheena & I started kind of being friends again. She & Nick used to drive me to the matches, because Mike hates me just enough to not want to take me, so Sheena & I would get hot chocolate & freeze behind the plexiglass together. Heath wants to be their assistant manager so he can get a shirt that says (surprise, surprise) "Assistant Manager". Well, once we got to COSI, I was pretty much in awe of the size of the place. I was bothered by the fact that not only was admission higher than it was at the old place, but we had to pay extra to visit the planetarium. Of course, I would have paid the $16 to see the planetarium alone, but the COSI people don't have to know that. We headed to the second floor first, because Mike wanted to look out the windows. We went to the Sunspot after that, hoping for something cool, but it turned out to be like a little place to eat or something. Sheena got us a locker to put our coats in, & Mike looked out the windows some more. He's cute. As we were getting on the elevator to go down to the first floor again, Heath told some woman getting off to make sure that she went to see the Sunspot. Funny kid, that Heath. Plus, he was wearing a shirt that he looked exceptionally good in. Anyway, we went to the gadgets area & messed around for a while. Mike & Heath spent the entire time building with plastic pipes while this COSI chick yelled at them, because she didn't think they were doing it right. I walked around & watched little kids doing random little kids things. They kind of amused me, those little kids. I was waiting in line to make some digital pottery, & watching the little kid in front of me, I was amazed at how little she cared about what she was doing. When I made my pottery, I had to make sure that it was all symmetrical, I experimented with dullness & shininess, & I made sure that my light source was coming from the right direction. The little kids didn't care about that at all. I thought it was kind of cool to see how people change as they get older, but I was also saddened to think about how...I don't know...intense (thanks, Bethany) I am. I couldn't just sit & make computer-generated pottery; I had to make mine better than the little kids'. After I was done with that, I went over & watched some little girls build things with large pieces of weird metal. Then, I got kind of ready to move on, so I watched Mike & Heath act like 5 year-olds for a while until they got bored with making the COSI chick mad. We went outside for a while so that the men (if one could call them that) could ride the weird ride that spins you around until you're pressed so hard against the wall that the floor drops out & you stay attached to the wall. Sheena thought she would get too dizzy, & I didn't want her to feel left out, so we went over to watch little kids push around this big marble ball sitting in a pool of water. They were all rolling all over the ball & getting all wet. Then, I walked over to one of the big satellite dish-looking things to whisper at the little kids at the other one. There was a girl at the other one who was probably about 14, & I whispered, "Your socks smell like cheese & David Bowie." She said "That's cool" & laughed. I doubted that she had ever heard any David Bowie in her life, but I smiled at her & let her think that she was on my level. (Ha, I'm so evil.) Sheena went inside to get a head-start on the ocean exhibits, so I sat & watched the little kids play on the ball for a while. The girl that I had whispered to jumped up on the ball & started walking on it. Everyone watched her in amazement. I couldn't help but hope that she would fall. Heath, Mike, & Nick got off the ride, so we went inside to check out the ocean. I don't remember there being an ocean exhibit at the old COSI, but if there was, it couldn't have compared to the new one. First, we went into a little room where there were a couple of huge glass cases with random sea creatures in them. I liked the seahorses a lot, but they didn't do a whole lot, so I moved on to the baby jellyfish. I totally want jellyfish in my house when I'm older. They're so relaxing what with their purple translucence & their slow swimming. When I'm old & have a monster aquarium, I'll fill it with jellyfish & stingrays, so I can sit & watch them while I enjoy my retirement with Michael Belfer of Black Lab. Wow, I can't believe I just wrote that out loud. (Sorry if that freaks you out, Michael.) When we got bored with that room, we went to this insane water place. There was just water everywhere, & there were millions of kids playing in the water. Against one wall, there was a huge pool with random spitting fish carved from stone & a ton of fountains sitting in it. Heath walked over to a little basin-ish thing & picked on this weird shark-on-a-stick deal. He started humming the Jaws song & went after some little kid's goldfish-on-a-stick. I thought it was amusing, but the kid's mom didn't. I found a little sloped area covered in wet sand with water running from the wall onto it. Heath & Mike soon found it, too, & they started playing in it. Heath threw some sand, & it happened to get all over my pants, so that was the highlight of my day. He got soaked later, though, so I was fine with my sand-covered pants. I went over & played in the dry sand for a while after that. I was just sitting there writing my name in the sand, & I think I freaked a bunch of little kids out. How, I don't know, but they just gave me weird looks. I wish I could explain the atmosphere of the place, because it was just amazing. In the dry sand area, it was dark & quiet, the sand lighted by shell-shaped lights on the wall. By the fountains & whatnot, there was water flying in every direction, there were kids laughing, & the different-colored lights reflected off of the water & the stones in the floor, making the place bright & cheery. Mike walked down the steps to the edge of the pool, & I was wishing that I had worn sandals so we could have put our feet in the water. We still had a ton to see, so we had to move on, but I could have spent my whole day there. We headed for the arcade next, & Heath was immediately drawn to this room with random instruments in it. He wanted to play the drums, but there were little kids swarmed all over it. Instead of kicking them all off, he just promised to come back later. Mike started complaining of being hungry, so we went to the Atomic Cafe for some lunch. It struck me as odd that COSI would be accommodating to vegetarians, but I got the best gardenburger in the entire world. Heath ate pickle relish, for some reason. He was actually squeezing those little packets into his mouth. It was incredibly gross, but also quite amusing. There was a two-second fire drill in the middle of our meal, & Mike went outside to pee on the street, so all in all, it was a productive lunch. I grabbed some crackers for Heath & we left for the planetarium. As the door people checked our tickets, Heath told them that he didn't have any pickle relish in his pockets. They didn't seem to mind at all that he was so flagrantly lying. A COSI woman followed us into the theatre & made me give her my drink. She didn't notice the fact that Heath was making sandwiches out of crackers & pickle relish or the fact that he was throwing the empty relish packets on the floor. Another COSI chick came out to do a little introduction to the planetarium. I knew that she was going to tell Nick & me to take our feet off seats, & she did immediately. I love COSI. The woman's voice was so freaking annoying. I knew that I was going to die if she was the one doing the commentary, so of course she was. I think I was the only one who liked the planetarium. Well, Sheena didn't necessarily hate it, but she got really dizzy during it, & Nick couldn't like anything that makes Sheena sick, so I don't think they loved it quite as much as I did. Heath asked the woman to shut up at least 800 times, but he said that he would have liked if she would have just let us look at the stars. I don't really know how Mike felt, since he wasn't sitting by me. I don't know why he wasn't sitting by me. Actually, he wasn't sitting by any of us, because he wanted arm room. At one point in the presentation, the commentary chick told us to say the word "cow" if we say something moving in the fake sky, so Heath went crazy yelling "cow" every 2 seconds. The woman got really annoyed & asked him to stop. I thought it was funny. Hey, she asked us to say it. I don't know why the planetarium is so different than the actual outside at night, but it's just so much better. Perhaps it's the fact that I'm the only person I know who likes to lay outside & look at the stars at night, so by going to the planetarium, I'm forcing the people who I love to do something that I love with me. We went out to explore the arcade a bit more. That soon bored me, so I followed Heath down to the room with the instruments. He threw some kids off of the drums & started doing his thing. The little kids looked on in amazement, because Heath could actually play. Mike came down after a while to make sure Heath wasn't raping me, & he took his turn on the drums while Heath played guitar for a while. We then left for the adventure area after I made some more pottery as Mike looked on & told me that I was foolish for wasting my time doing something that was impossible to do anywhere but a computer. The adventure exhibits were supposed to be closing soon after we got there, so the girl working the door didn't want to let us in, but being the incredibly clever people that we are, we went in the out door & made our way into a desert-like area. I kept forgetting that everything was designed with kids in mind there. Mike & I went into this room that had two doors separating three section of it. We had to press down on these gold skulls to make the doors open, & when the wrong doors kept opening, I thought we had to devise some kind of plan so that one person could stay in a section & press one of the skulls to let the other person thru a different section. It was really just a matter of pressing the right skull, but I wanted it to be more difficult than that. Mike's mind works in the same way mine does when it comes to that stuff, I think, because he seemed like he was thinking the same thing I was. I wish I had a little video camera to capture moments where he does stuff like run between the doors, thinking that he's figuring out how they work. The COSI people were all in character, which made the whole experience more fun but also a bit annoying. Heath wanted to ask if they had brought one of the exhibits from the old place to the new place, but the workers were giving him some crap answer that their characters would have given. It least they were nice. (Plus, some of them had English accents, & well, you can't go wrong with that.) The place was closing up, so we went to the gift shop to explore for a bit. It had those cool magnetic poetry boxes, so I spent my time constructing sentences about syrup-covered rainbows & bow-tie pasta. I desperately need one of those things for my locker. I'd have to say that the best gifts in the shop were those little flip books. Nick handed me one & told me to flip thru it. I did. It was of a scary pregnant woman & showed her expanding stomach & boobs. It kind of freaked me out, but I can't say that I didn't consider buying it for one of my odd friends. I ended up actually buying one of a naked man running along a track, & as much as I enjoyed it, I sent it off to California as a gift when it was all said & done. Nick, Mike, & Heath wanted to ride the bicycle that rolls across a cable 300 feet in the air, so Sheena & I ditched them for the life exhibit. It was one of the ones we remembered well from the old COSI, so our expectations were high. There was an incredibly hot college-age guy on the elevator with us, so we desperately tried to look as single as possible. (He followed us to the life area, in case you were wondering.) It wasn't a let-down at all. In fact, I was pretty darn impressed. We went to see the fetuses first, because they had "old COSI" written all over them. There's nothing like dead babies in glass to make a girl feel like she's at home, let me tell you. We then discovered a computer thing called "Age Me". It took a picture of you, added wrinkles & whatnot, & showed you what you would most likely look like in 50 years. Sheena did it first, & it was pitiful. If she wasn't hoping to die at 30 before that, she is now. So, I wanted to check out what I would look like later in life. It was just wretched. Possibly a bit better than Sheena's, but dang. At least Mike's was terrible, too. We wanted to make the guys come & get us, so we sat down & watched a video of a woman getting her tubes tied. Then, we watched a man get a valve in his heart replaced. I can't wait to dissect my cat in anatomy class now. We saw the rest of the exhibit & were ready to go, so we went back to the elevator. Mike, Nick, & Heath were below us, waiting to get on the elevator & come up, so Sheena held the "Door Open" button down while I laughed at them. We finally let them get on, & we went back upstairs so they could see the life stuff. A security guard found us & told us that everything was closed & we weren't supposed to be there, so we finished up our exploring & left. We went back to Mike's house after that, but I think that's a story for another day if it's a story at all. To wrap this up, let me just say that COSI is amazing, my friends are amazing, & peeing on the streets of Columbus is bad.
November the 18th, 1999: A couple of Saturdays ago, I went to have my senior pictures taken. When I was a freshman, I thought senior pictures sounded exciting. When I became a senior, I realized how completely trivial they are. I went & had them done nevertheless, mostly just to make my parents happy. I had a guy named Scott do them for me. He's the photographer who did all of the sports/band/Homecoming pictures for the school this year, so I've had him do stuff for me before, & I knew that I liked him. Well, kinda. He actually really freaked me out before senior picture night. In fact, one of my teachers calls him Scary Scott whenever we're discussing him, because well...he's really scary. He's always wearing his big trenchcoats during the summer, & he always makes weird jokes that make you think he wants to rape you or something. Not that jokes have anything to do with raping. Anyway, I invited Joanie & Mike to come with me. Actually, I forced them to come with me. I needed Joanie there, because I knew she would tell me if I had some sort of goofy smile or a piece of squirrel between my teeth. (Yes, squirrel.) I wanted Mike there, because I don't have any pictures with him like I do with the rest of my friends, so I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to get some. On Friday night, I asked Tracey if there was anything I should change about my appearance before my pictures. I asked her if I wore too much eyeliner or lipstick or anything. She said, "Well, yeah." I was like, "Dang." Then, she proceeded to bash me for putting on lipstick in public, because she thinks I look like an idiot when I do it. Hmm...talk about pent-up feelings. So, I got up early yesterday morning & completely ignored Tracey's advice. I did, however, keep in mind something she had reminded me earlier, which was "Scott can't make you do anything you don't want to." I took that in a way that a dirty pervert such as myself would, but she meant, of course, that I didn't have to do serious pictures if I didn't want to, & I didn't want to. Mike called & wanted to do something in the afternoon, since my pictures weren't scheduled until 6:30 last night. I explained that I didn't want my hair getting messed up by the wind, which he thought was totally idiotic...& it was, but I was nervous about my pictures. We decided to do something after we got home last night, so I called Tracey to see if she & Samantha wanted to drive us to Easton to see a movie. I love how Mike uses Sam just to drive us around, because I'm unwilling to drive around Easton, & Mike hates to drive period. They couldn't, so we decided to do something on our own anyway. He was totally bored, so after he went to the comic book shop for a bit, Mike came to my house just to sit around. Bethany & my aunt Beth were there. You have to understand how much Aunt Beth has been dying to meet Mike. I don't even know how she knew about him, but I'm sure Bethany's mom has been spreading random rumours or something. He sat on my couch & talked to my scary family while I straightened all of my clothes on their hangers for the 800th time that hour. Mike said that he liked the new Rage Against the Machine song, which totally surprised me & made me extremely happy. After a couple of hours, it was time to leave, so I threw all of my stuff in my Blazer, remembered that I had left my black shoes inside, told Mike & Jo that it was time to go, & got even more nervous. I really had no idea where I was going, even though I had gotten directions from Sheena on Thursday night. She & her mom were so excited that I was getting my pictures done by him, because they had both loved him. That struck me as odd, but Sheena's mom likes everyone, so perhaps I should have assumed she would be in love with him. I passed up his studio once, so I had to turn around & go back. He was on the phone when we got there, so he motioned us in to this large garage-like building he called his studio. We didn't know what to do, so we kind of just stood around & looked at all of his photographer toys. That's one of my prime motivations for wanting to study photography in college. I want to have big chairs & pillars sitting around my studio. We made fun of this big wall of apple crates he had for a while, but we shut up when he came back to check on us. I went to hang my stuff up in his little dressing room, & it was then that I realized I had forgotten to ever bring my black shoes out. I certainly wasn't about to wear brown shoes with all of my grey & black stuff, so when Scott got off the phone I told him that I had a bit of a crisis. He had a bit of a crisis of his own, although he didn't tell us what it was, so he said I could run home & get them & he would attempt to work his situation out while we were gone. We piled back into the Blazer, started on our way, missed the road we were supposed to turn onto, got ourselves turned around, & headed for home. As we were pulling back into my driveway, Mike mentioned that Joe the comic book guy had newfound respect for Mike's neighbor Jason, because Jason likes to hunt. I was totally surprised since Jason seems like the anti-hunter, & it also freaked me out that Joe respects hunters. I drilled Mike on his thoughts about hunting, & he said that he had none, but he had shot some random birds & a rabbit in his time. When I started to yell at him for that, he said something that would have made me totally love him if I hadn't already, but I'm not allowed to tell you, because Mike thinks he has some kind of image to uphold. So, I grabbed my black shoes, & we went back to Scott's. He didn't have his crisis worked out yet, but he didn't want to cancel my picture time, so he just went to work, even though it was obvious that he couldn't take his mind off of whatever his problem was. He took my first set of pictures by the scary apple crate wall, much to my delight. (Not that that makes any sense, since the wall freaked me out.) I was in a really smile-y mood, & I was really glad about that, because I hate it when people get pictures taken & they have really fake, cheesy smiles. Scott made me feel totally at ease, because he told odd jokes & well, he's just such a dork that no one could ever feel uncomfortable around him. He asked me if I had a barn outfit, because the next pictures were to be taken in a barn-like setting, so I went back to change. While I was gone, Scott's phone rang & hoping that it was help for his crisis, he went to answer it. When he came back, Mike asked him what his crisis was, because it was so obvious that he wanted to talk about it. Scott said that he didn't want to burden us with his problems, but two seconds later, he explained everything. I don't really want to expose his problem on here, because I'm in love with the man, but let's just say it involved his wife. He put me in the barn, so to speak, & took some pictures. He wanted me to be serious & sexy, & well, I did it, but I'm not happy to say that I did. The phone rang again after I had changed my clothes for the boat dock scene, so Mike, Joanie, & I stood by the dock & admired it while we waited for him to return. It was a nice dock, let me tell you. Mike asked what I would do on a boat dock for a picture. He asked if I would lay on my stomach & put my head in my hands. I would have. If it was up to him, he would lean against the dock, cross his arms, & look down to the side for his pictures. They weren't his, however, so Scott threw me on top of the dock & had me hug my knees in a very senior picture-y-type pose. For some reason, he asked me what kind of music I like while I was busy hugging. I answered, "Alternative, rock, college rock, etc.", & he said that he had the complete works of Rush with him. I was all for listening to some of it, but Mike said that he didn't like Rush. I told him he had to like Limelight, but he said he didn't, so I told him that everyone likes Tom Sawyer, but he didn't go for that, either. Scott said he had some Queensryche, & I went for that, too, but Mike was silent for a minute, & then he said, "Well, I like Queen." He & Scott discussed the sexual orientation of the guys from Queen for a while, & then Scott had me go back & change. When I came out, Scott was on the phone, so Mike & Joanie told me that I would be posing in what looked like a stucco Mexican bar doorway (or so they said). Mike went & stood in the doorway & asked if he looked like the type of guy who would come out of a Mexican bar. He was quite the opposite in his Banana Republic shirt & his khakis. I said he would be beaten up in a Mexican bar looking all Ricky Martin-ish, but he said that Ricky was from Latin America, so therefore, he could be found in Mexican bars from time to time. Joanie & I said that he was obviously from the good-looking part of Latin America, far away from Mexico. (Is this story incredibly long & boring, or is it just me? It's not just me, is it...) Scott came back & made me sit in the corner of the little doorway. Then, he tried a Sheena pose on me that just didn't work, because she wore this cute dress that showed an unimaginable amount of cleavage, & well, I'm not really the cleavage type. It actually freaks me out to picture him photographing her in that dress, now that I think about it. To make an incredibly long story nowhere near short, let me tell you about my two favourite parts of the evening. The first was Scott's unimaginable double-jointedness. In fact, it could have been triple or quadruple-jointedness. (Did you notice that I just used that word twice, & it's just a bunch of nonsense?) I have no idea how or why we got to a point in our conversation that showing me the ways that he can bend his hand seemed appropriate, but we did. It was really gross. He can bend his fingers back to the point that they touch the back of his hand & bend them forward until they touch his palm (this is while keeping them straight, mind you). I suppose Mike & Joanie found that extremely exciting, because while I was having my last few pictures taken, they were over by the dock, trying to bend their fingers back. Just like little children, I swear. My other favourite part (or parts, rather) was all of Scott's sex talk. He cracked me up, the way he wanted to discuss sexual deviation with us. He told us stories of this chick who works at our nearby McDonald's who's the biggest sex fiend he knows (besides Mister Rogers, of course), because she's done 3 guys at one time. We're all like, "OK, Scott. Thanks for the info, buddy." Insane, I tell you. After all that business was over, Mike & I went to rent Cruel Intentions, but I think I want to keep that whole story to myself. That's not supposed to imply anything, either, Bethany.
November 17th, 1999: I have this American Government teacher who is a total idiot. I mean, he knows an incredible amount about everything pertaining to the government & laws, but he's an idiot when it comes to absolutely everything else. He went to Capital University's law school to become a lawyer (bet you couldn't have figured that out on your own), but he's tried like 800 times to pass the bar exam, & he just can't, so he's teaching American Government in a town of 8 instead. Heath lovingly refers to him as Mr. Retarded, if that says anything. Well, the poor guy is relatively young & I guess not too wretched-looking if you overlook his nose (which looks like it's been broken 10-12 times) and his front teeth of two different lengths. He's just really nice, though. No one can deny that. Well, since his entire life is law, he's the Mock Trial coach at my school. He taught with my mom, I've known him for pretty much my entire life, & I've done Mock Trial the last two years, so he knows all about me. Tracey's also done Mock Trial, so he's basically in love with us. He knows that we somewhat care about what's going on in his class, so he teaches directly to us. I'm not kidding here. As he explains new concepts to us, he alternates his stare between Tracey & me, asking us questions that he specifically knows we know so that we'll look smarter in front of the class or something (as if we need his help to look smarter than the rest of the class, the idiots). He also uses us to help make fun of kids. I think that part's kind of funny. Like, the other day, this chick named Salina, who I don't particularly dislike in any way (even though she's incredibly...well...yeah), asked a question that she really should have known. Not everyone remembers all of the rudimentary things we've learned years before, though, so I would have just answered her question & went on with the day's lesson. My teacher just smiled at her like he felt incredibly sorry for lack of intelligence, however, & he proceeded to laugh at her as he explained the concept. All the while, he kept glancing over at Tracey & me like, "Can you believe what an imbecile this girl is!?" Plus, he wears Mickey Mouse golf shirts every day. I'm really not knocking Mickey Mouse or my teacher's fashion sense or anything (OK, yeah, I am), but he's just so...odd. Then, the other day, to add to my already less-than-fabulous opinion of him, he had the audacity to correct my spelling. I understand that I spelled the word "arguments" wrong. I can deal with that. I can't however, stand words in large, red marker scrawled across my American Government test. It's not really even that, though. It's the fact that he's so incredibly dumb when it comes to english language matters. Like, he has no concept of question mark usage. He thinks everything is a question. For God's sake, he's written stuff like, "Please explain voter apathy?" all over our tests. Not a question. I repeat, NOT A QUESTION. This from a man who thinks he needs to correct me when I spell a word the way it should be spelled. Plus, he says just the most asinine things. I don't intend to sound mean or anything, but really, you just have to meet this guy to understand. We've been discussing voting in class for the last 800 years, & the other day, he was talking about the good & bad aspects of allowing everyone but a select group of people to vote. He cited the example of his mother taking some nearly mentally ill men to vote earlier this month. He told us that they were nice men & all, but he knew that they weren't making educated votes. In an attempt make himself sound caring & all, he said something to the effect of "I like those men. I like to joke around with the retards & make them feel like they're worth something." Tracey & I just looked at each other in disbelief, so we told our friend Katie (a.k.a Christian Miracle-Worker Girl / Protector of Disabled People Everywhere) what he had said, because we knew she'd take care of it. He called himself a prejudiced, racist pollworker a few days later, so well...I don't know what to think of him. Oh, here's something I forgot about him. It's actually the foundation on which all of my fake hatred for him was built. As a sophomore, my first year in Mock Trial, I had a big binder full of Mock Trial case papers & all of the crap that Tracey gave to me during our meetings when we would make fun of our teacher's nose & whatnot. Well, she gave me a note that said something to the effect of "Smile, my little whore." It was nothing. So she called me a whore. Well, my teacher didn't think it was nothing, apparently, & when he found the note inside my binder (which I had accidentally left behind in his room), he decided that the best action to take was to read it to his class of senior Government students. Probably not the approach I would have taken, but it obviously made him feel better, because he never mentioned it to me. He just gave me back my binder without a word & left it to my senior friends to tell me what had happened. Ahh, the poor, sad, sick, little man.
November 4th, 1999: So, here's a bit of a story. I'm taking an anatomy class this semester at school. I love it. It's my favourite class of the day. That's a very good thing, as you know, because I plan on going into medicine in college. For my anatomy class, I had to find a partner & make a bulletin board that told about a certain career. I partnered up with Angela. Now, I don't want to sound mean here, & I probably shouldn't say anything in case this ever gets back to Angela, but it adds to the meaning of the story, so I'm going to say it anyway. Angela has little to no friends. Most of her friends have stabbed in her in the back in one way or another, so she's left with me. I don't remember how we got to be friends, & I'm not sure why I would ever want to be friends with her. I don't really mean that in a bad way, either. It's just that I'm this highly analytical chick with an extreme amount of aspirations & motivation, & Angela is exactly the opposite. While I plan to someday marry a nice Christian boy who amazes me with his intellect & the feeling of security he provides me, Angela has her hopes set on a guy who smokes pot, gets drunk every weekend, & has no goals for himself. Where I'm a complete perfectionist, she does things just to get them done, paying no attention to neatness. Where I'm myself, knowing that that's good enough, Angela feels that she has to follow certain standards that she hopes will somehow make her popular (but they perpetually fail). That's one thing that I find incredible about her. I've never set foot in an Abercrombie & Fitch, & I don't own a piece of clothing from American Eagle (OK, some shoes, but I didn't buy them). I don't have to be a clone of everyone else just to fit in, & I would never want to. Angela does. She has all of the "right" clothes, she does her hair the "right" way, & she tries to say the "right" things. She'll never fit in, though, as hard as she tries. It makes me really sad for her, whether she wants my pity or not. So, instead of working with one of my friends like Sheena, I told Angela that I would be her partner for the project. Even though I knew I'd end up doing all of the work, I let Angela decide what career we would pick to spotlight. She chose medical examining, so I went to gather information about it. Halfway through my research, though, I realized that I was pissed at having to learn about something that I didn't care the least bit about, so I switched gears & started researching anesthesiology, my career of choice. I found all of the information. I made all of the signs for our bulletin board. I made everything perfect so that we could get a good grade. I'm not bitter about it, though, obviously. I just knew that whatever I did would be up to my standards, & anything she did would not. (I'm really not meaning to be nasty here. Really.) So, I asked her to get us some construction paper to put behind our signs. One rudimentary task. That's all I asked. When we went to school to put up our board, however, she had forgotten to get any. She had chosen to go to the house of the guy she likes instead. I politely reminded her that it was the only thing I had asked of her, & she got defensive, saying, "What, do you want me to go to the store & buy us some right now or something?" I just smiled & began hanging our info up. She was dying to talk about the guy she likes, but luckily, my anatomy teacher was there, so I talked to her most of the time about college, plum trees, & the botany class I'm going to be taking next semester. After we were done, Angela asked if I wanted to accompany her to Wal*Mart. I originally said yes, but then I realized that I had physics & Spanish homework to do, & I had to learn all of the muscles in the body for my anatomy test the next day. Angela would rather fail than do any work for her classes, so she told me to forget about it. I really didn't think I had time to go, but something was telling me to go with her, so I did. We talked about her pretend boyfriend all the way down there. Don't get me wrong, I like talking to her. So, we made our way into Wal*Mart where I bought a photo album, a lipstick, & some laminating stuff. She picked up some pictures while I checked out these rather hot Wal*Mart boys, & then we left. We got into her Thunderbird, she turned the key, we heard a little click, & the car shut off. She had been having starter problems, so she assumed that was what was wrong. She went inside to call her mom while I went over all of the things I had to do in my mind. Her mom got all upset, blaming Angela for her car problems but promising to come & pick us up in between her fits of cussing. We waited outside for a while, but it was sooooo cold, so we went back inside so Angela could call her mom again. Her mom hadn't left yet, & when Angela explained her car problems, her mom said that it was just her battery, not her starter. I didn't have enough money on me to get her a new battery, so we started looking for someone to give up a jumpstart. I didn't know anyone, & I wasn't about to ask a perfect stranger. Angela was totally pissing me off. She was just yelling out into the parking lot about her problems, hoping that some random stranger would hear her & help. I assured her that that wasn't the way to go about things, & she started screaming about how she was "never going to help another fucking person or ever be fucking nice to anyone again", because everyone was being "so fucking mean" to her. I laughed at her & told her that no one was being mean to her & that I wouldn't help either if I heard some rude, whining chick in the parking lot of Wal*Mart. We walked over to Subway to ask some of my old co-workers if they had jumper cables, but none of them did. Angela got all mad at them, even though it was totally not their fault. She kicked her car a little. Apparently, in Angela World, kicking your car adds power to your battery. Go figure. Finally, an hour later, I spotted my lovely friends Jacqueline & Lindsay walking through the parking lot to drop off film after cheerleading practice, so I called to them for help. I feel really bad about this now, but at the time, I was thinking, "I don't want them to see me here with Angela, the girl no one can stand." I'm a terrible person, I know. Jacqueline, for some odd reason, had jumper cables in the back of her car, so we made a plan. Lindsay wrote down the license plate numbers of all of the people around Angela's car, & she & Jacqueline went inside to have the store announce that one of those people should move their vehicle. While they were gone, Angela & I realized that we had no idea how to work the cables, so we got out her car's owner guide. We were reading about connecting the positive end to the blah, blah, blah when Lindsay & Jacqueline emerged with some rather good-looking Wal*Mart boys, the very same I had been admiring earlier. A man moved his car, so Jacqueline pulled in next to Angela, & the boys went to work. Nothing was happening, so the boys assumed that Jacqueline's battery terminals were bad, & they found another woman to lend us her car. While Angela was working with the Wal*Mart boys, Lindsay asked me if Angela had called her parents. I told her that she did, but they hadn't even left the house. I told them that my parents would have been there in ten minutes, & they said that theirs would have, too, but well, Angela's mom is a bit of a deadbeat, as far as I can tell. When the other woman's battery had no effect on Angela's, the helpful boys knew that Angela's battery was shot, so they went inside to get the store's charger. I thanked the woman for her help, because I could see that Angela wasn't going to. That made me angry. Lindsay & Jacqueline went inside to drop off their film, but they promised to take us home if we hadn't gotten her car started when they came out. The boys came back & got the car working finally, so two hours later, we were ready to go home. I said that we needed to wait & thank Jacqueline & Lindsay, but Angela said they would understand if we just left. I threw a tire iron at her, picked up my purse, & walked into the store to find them. I couldn't, so I just came back outside & left them a note telling them how much we appreciated their help. I couldn't believe that Angela made no move to thank them. I felt stupid writing to them, thanking them for helping someone else, but well...I don't want to be mean to Angela, so I'll drop that subject. She wasn't at school today to avoid taking our anatomy test & avoid presenting our bulletin board to the class, so you go ahead & make whatever assumptions about her that you would like to, because I'm not defending her. I did a lovely job presenting, however, so perhaps it's good that she wasn't there. Ha. There. I'm done with my rant.
