(Top 100, or so, bands)
99. Ice T ::: Take note, jerks, you won't find many rap/hip-hop types on this list. But just to let everyone know that Pete and Tim are "multicultural," we offer IceT. Now, I didn't use to think much of Ice T; I've seen him in some crappy movies, and watched him on Law and Order, but that's about it. Then I saw the VH-1 special on how he used to be a pimp. Well, any music-making pimp is always welcome with Tim and Pete. Plus, Ice T revolutionized music with possibly the first ever rap-metal band, Bodycount (Cop Killer, anyone?) Besides--he got an honorary doctorate in Philosophy from Harvard... Makes you stop and think.
98. Buddy Holly ::: From one extreme to the next... Buddy Holly set the nerdy rock-guy prototype. He wasn't cool and that kind of makes him, well, cool. And most of his stuff is kind of mushy girly music (which kept him out of the top 50), but at least he knew how to Rock 'n Roll! Rave on, Buddy.
97. Nada Surf ::: Okay, first Tim and Pete would like everyone to know that they have only heard one song that Nada Surf did. That song was the MTV surprise hit, "Popular." That song alone was enough to get Nada Surf on our list (hey, this ain't the Rolling Stone, you know!!) With lyrics like, "My mom says I'm a catch, I'm popular," and "I'm never last pick, I'm popular," how can you not like these anti-cool rockers? Hey, we also saw these guys in Tommy's living room!
96. Swirling Eddies ::: Very little is known of the mysterious Eddies. Their records were almost as hard to find 10 years ago as they are today, and now they have all but vanished. Swirling Eddies get our nod on the Top 100 for their pioneering spirit, and their oft overlooked lyrical studliness. Sadly, very little is available on the Eddies here on the internet, but here's an unusual item I was able to dig up:
94. The Melvins ::: Okay, we confess; we actually hate the Melvins. We really do. In fact, Pete bought this one CD that was supposed to have the Melvins on it, but instead it was just a bunch of other bands that were NOT the Melvins and... Let's just say I wouldn't be opening any postal packages if I were a member of the Melvins for a while. But they did kind of spur the whole Seattle grunge thing, so for that they sit here on the Top 100. The link is in German because only Germans like the Melvins.
93. Cake ::: Cake, in their first album, took something that was old and a bit on the stank side and made it fresh and new. I'm, of course, talking about Ska here. They took what made Ska good (the horns) and combined it with different types of music. It was genius! One of the greatest albums ever. And then... then... they put out a country album! I don't know what they were thinking. Their second album is truly the worst album ever. From the best to the worst in a matter of two years. It boggles the mind. They still deserve to be on this list though because, frankly, they're from Sacramento.
92. The Monks :::
91. The Band ::: How ballsy do you have to be to call yourself "The Band"? Super ballsy. A southern band with a fresh sound. They followed in the footsteps of the Allman Brothers and paved the way for Lynyrd Skynyrd. This band took country and kicked it's ass with an electric guitar. We all should give The Band the respect it deserves. I mean, "The Weight", "The Day They Drove Old Dixie Down", I can't be the only one who thinks these were great songs. Also, Elvis Costello likes 'em.
90. Screamin' Jay Hawkins ::: The ORIGINAL shock rocker! He was dressing up all ghoulish before Alice Cooper could spell "Frankenstein" (assuming he can today). Besides all that, I just found a website that is looking for the 75+ kids he allegedly fathered. Welcome to #90, Screamin' Jay.
89. Kula Shaker ::: A friend of mine bought an album by Kula Shaker. At first listen I didn't think much of them, but after awhile the tunes started catching on. "Mystical Machine Gun Fire" is a good first listen for the curious. Be forewarned; they're described as "Neo-hippie rock."
88. The Buzzcocks ::: Now, not a lot is heard from the Buzzcocks. They were putting their best stuff out in the late 70's-earlly 80's, but they still rock today. They've got great songs like "What do I get," and "Orgasm Addict," which make them the first pop-punk band, ever. Period. Unless you count the Sex Pistols.
87. Neil Diamond ::: There are a lot of people out there in the world who think that Neil Diamond does not rock and roll.
85. The Ramones ::: If Neanderthal man got together in their caves to play music I would guess that their music would sound much like the music the Ramones put out. The Ramones, influenced by the New York Dolls, were minimalists. They broke every rule that outlined what had supposedly made a great band. They substituted harmony with intensity. They threw out the guitar solo, along with the ballad. They went for a direct, wall punching, head stomping sound. And for that I thank them.
84. Fatboy Slim ::: True story - As I was leaving my house this morning for school my mother yelled out the frount door, "Tim, don't forget to add Fatboy Slim to your top 100 list." My mom loves him. He is all she talks about, and it's all because of Fatboy Slim's Buck Rodgers remix. This remix created the "biddy-biddy-biddy" base line. Old people eat this stuff up! Now, some of you younger folks might be asking yourself, "Buck Rodgers?". Let me just tell you that Buck Rodgers is THE king of the universe. In fact, in my new found religion you can't get into heaven unless you watch five episodes of Buck Rodgers. You younger folks may, in the interest of salvation, want to do a bit of research. Anyway, Fatboy Slim, with his generation binding music truly deserve a spot on our Top 100.
83. Blenderhead ::: Okay, how can you not love a punk band named Blenderhead?? These guys defined my understanding of punk when I was 13 (this is Pete), and so for that reason, my humble penitence to this great band is a spot on the Top 100.
82. KMFDM, or MDFMK ::: Now, we've all gone through our own little German Industrial music phases, put on a lot of black and paraded around outside with dead pets. But KMFDM is not in a stage. They ARE German industrialists. And their name is cool: "Kill M* F* Depeche Mode".
81. Finley Quaye ::: I realize that most of you don't know, but Tim and Pete are Jamaicans. That's right, we praise Jah, pass Duches from the left-hand side, and never, ever wash our greasy locks. So it should be no surprise that when we were little we used to run half-naked through the island streets, watching mopeds zoom past, to play soccer with Finley. As soon as we heard Finley put an album out, I ran to the first Used CD store I could find and bought a copy for $6. It rocks!
80. Helmet ::: Helmet is the kind of band that makes you love Hardcore music. They are heavy, intelligent, and bring a melody and rhythm not often found in heavy music. Plus they're Hari Krishnas, which is strangely intriguing... Too bad they broke up.
79. The Rentals ::: You want nerd rock? Well, here it is in all of its glasses-adjusting, pocket-protecting splendor. The Rentals are just plain groovy. And they're one and only big hit, "Friends of P," is especially inspiring to Pete, who once thought he had friends after listening to it.
78. The Counting Crows ::: I am not going to sit here and pretend that I am the coolest guy in the world. I am not going to act like all I listen to is Indy music. No, not me. I also like some bands that have whored themselves out to MTV, VH1, and really to anyone who waved money in their face. The Counting Crows are one of these bands, and I love them. Hear me world, I love the Counting Crows! Nothing is better to listen to when you are down in the dumps. Adam Duritz is a genius when it comes to being a depressed millionare. I have to give him props for that. Besides, their music has gotten me through more than one breakup. I owe them this.
77. C.W. McCall ::: This man is truly the coolest man to ever wear a cowboy hat. His music doesn't really have a classification. It isn't country, it isn't rock. It's trucker music. It's music to chew tabacco to. If you arn't spitting then you arn't listening to his music right. It's man music! That's what it is. The manliest stuff ever put down in a studio. My advise, download his song "Convoy", it'll put hair on your chest.
76. My Bloody Valentine ::: Now I will be the first to admit that I have heard very little about My Bloody Valentine. In fact, mostly I've just heard that they influenced a bunch of other bands. And they are credited with an entire style of music; namely, Shoegazer. Their name came from a Canadian B-movie horror flick, too! And the best thing about My Bloody Valentine is that they are Dubliners, which means they are used to getting the crap kicked out of them on a regular basis. Cheers to MBV!
75. The California Raisins ::: (I know if I was another band and wound up above the California Raisins in a Top 100, I'd shoot myself)... Nevertheless, here are the raisins! When the raisins came out in 1986, I was the perfect age to love them. I mean, dancing raisins! THINK about it! They're those dull clumps of fleshy fruit you ate in Kindergarten when there wasn't any real food around... The stuff you stuck in Molly Butterman's hair when you thought she liked you... Raisins! And now they sing and they dance and.... (Give me time to recover; I'm hyperventilating here)
74. Teenage Fanclub ::: The lads from Great Britain have been at it since 1990. They're a little grungy and a lot poppy. It's a style that works for them. My only complaint is that they are a little hit and miss. What redeems Teenage Fanclub from this (minor) flaw is that when they hit, they hit hard. When they miss it's a little annoying, but only because you know they are better than that.
73. Jerry Lee Lewis ::: Some call Elvis the king of Rock and Roll. Some say that James Brown is the King. But neither of these people did as much for rock and roll as Jerry Lee Lewis. Jerry was a true rebel. He wrote songs like "Great Balls of Fire" and "Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On". "Great Balls of Fire" obviously isn't about meteors or comets. It's a song about sexual passion. This song came out in 1957! 1957, people! At the hight of american conservatizm Jerry Lee Lewis was writing songs about sex. And not only did he write them, but he sang them in frount of T.V. audiences of over 1 million people. He made millions off a song about sex in 1957! And then he threw it all away to marry his 13 year old second cousin before he had divorced his first wife! People, this is ROCK AND ROLL, not shaking a hip, or yelling into a mike. Rock And Roll is giving everything up for a pedophilic, bigamit relationship with your second cousin. Do not forget this. Jerry Lee Lewis is the king of rock and roll!
72. The Animals ::: The animals were pretty cool. They had good songs like "Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood," "House of the Rising Sun," and many others with titles too long to remember. But the thing about the Animals was that really cool drummer they had! He's great! He was always bangin' around on the drums and smashing stuff... And you could never understand what he was saying!
71. Pizzicato Five ::: I can hear a few of you crying foul... Yes, it's true; I have never heard more than two Pizzicato 5 songs before in my life. But those two songs were ENOUGH, I tell you, to earn them this sacred 71 spot. This pop group from Tokyo is just a little bizarre... Just read this quote, which I am including both for its merit and because I'm sick of typing, "We are Ultra-hipsters who have truly gone beyond the valley of the hip, walked in the shadow of the valley of overkill, and come out smiling on the other side." Wow. A bit full of themselves? Definitely.
70. Lou Reed ::: The man behind one of the greatest bands ever (foreshadowing?) was still great after he went solo. Don't believe me? Well peep these lyrics, "I wanna be black. I wanna be black. So I can have a stable of foxy whores." Yes! .
69. Uncle Tupelo ::: Some of you out there are probably thinking I just made this band up. Oh no friends I did not. Uncle Tupelo combined both country and punk into a beautiful sound. I know it's hard to believe, but that's what makes it so great. Their concerts would bring both hicks and punks together... think about that! Hicks and Punks in one concert! Do we understand how rock and roll this is? Do we!?! Right now, get onto napster (or whatever) and download an Uncle Tupelo song ( Try "We've Been Had"). I dare you.
68. Muddy Watters ::: Ok, so this is just a link to the Mississippi River home page... I couldn't find jack on old Muddy. Let me just assure you that Muddy was that king of the electric blues. But that's not why he made in on our list. Muddy's here because on one tour of England he changed everything. How, you ask. After Muddy Watters toured England every English musician began playing the blues. The Stones started as a blues band. Led Zeplin started as a blues band. Eric Claptin was a blues guitarist. Muddy Watters changed everything.
67. Cat Stevens ::: Okay, this is the THIRD time that I have typed this out... Apparently Geocities has a thing against 70's folk heros who forsake their pop star image to become devout Muslims. I dunno. What I DO know, though, is that Cat Stevens is both smooth and mellow, like a good cigarette (from what I've heard, that is).
66. George Clinton and the P-Funk All-Stars ::: The greatest funk band ever. As we all know funk is the sexiest music ever. So, logically, that would make George Clinton and the P-Funk All-Stars the sexiest band ever.
65. The Verve Pipe ::: I am sure that all of you know this band from their song "Freshman". I bought the CD, like most people did, after hearing that song. I want to be candid with you, I hated Villians for months after I bought it. I really hated it! I cursed the Verve Pipe in my prayers every night for taking my twenty dollars. But do you know what happened? The CD really grew on me. Now, I don't know if it was my brain trying to rationalize the fact that I had spent twenty dollars for something I thought was crap or not, but it soon became my favorite CD. It was genius! I still think Villians is a genius CD, and I give it credit for burgeoning my tastes in music. Get on to Napster this instant and download "Penny is Poison" if that doesn't do it for you you're going to hell.
64. The Steve Miller Band ::: Never did the electric blues sound so good than when it was coming from Steve Miller. But then again, never did it sound so awful. They would release three great albums and follow that with the release of one of the worst albums ever. Then they would record three more great albums. There was no such thing as mediocrity with the Steve Miller Band. It's either a great album or a freaking awful one. You really have to respect that.
63. Toad The Wet Sprocket ::: They got their name from an old Monty Python skit! How cool is that? It's cool, trust me. This group of friends has put some great sound on every CD they've put out. This, as a warning, is not a rock and roll band but even Pete and Tim need to take a break from our rock and roll life styles and relax. This is the music to do that to.
START OF THE FRENCH DJ INVASION
62. Air- A French Band ::: Many people ask me, "Tim, do French people have musical instruments?" The answer is yes. However, we Americans, as the pinnacle of human evolution, have much more advanced musical tools. This does not mean that all foreign music sucks. Air does the best that it can with it's French made "Muhoozits" and musical "Whatsits", and for that Pete and Tim give them respect... American style.
61. Daft Punk ::: Daft Punk isn't really a socially powerful band. They're not politically active, they won't beg anyone to save any seals or legalize any drug, and they sure as hell will not beg for third-world-nation relief like Bono did. Instead, Daft Punk is justa simple booty-shakin', floor-stompin' good time. They're like a Rockabilly bar without the cowboy hats and mechanical bull. Plus they're from France.
60. DJ Cam ::: DJ Cam is a great guy. Perhaps one of the best (and most funny) things about him is that he's being persecuted for his color. He's a WHITE guy in FRANCE. I guess people in France haven't discovered that you're supposed to persecute people in the MINORITY, not the MAJORITY! They could take a lesson from Lynard Skynard.
59. DJ Shadow ::: DJ Shadow is an innovator. He's also not French. But he acts French, and, well... we just wanted to lump him in with these guys. Just go with it. Now, if you're like me, you're probably skeptical as far as the innovation level of DJ's. Well, a buddy of mine has been able to prove time and time again that electronica does have a wealth of variety, and this is a great DJ to start your collection with, especially if you dig acid jazz.
END OF THE FRENCH DJ INVASION
58. Talking Heads ::: The Talking Heads came out of the same New York City Pre-Punk scene that brought the world great music like The Ramones... as well as not-so-great music like Blondie. The Talking Heads created thinking-man's dance music. That's why they're so doggone cool. They didn't tell you what they were saying; they made you guess.
57. Stereophonics ::: These guys are just a straightforward brit rock band. They're low-fi, chock full o' melody, and they're really fun at parties. Rumor has it that the lead-singer can out-drink both Gallagher brothers combined!
56. Primal Scream ::: Oh yes, an eighties pop band has made our list! No, we have not sold out, and we have not become freaks. Primal Scream WAS an eighties pop band, but they changed. This band was formed by Bobby Gillespie, the drummer for Jesus and Mary Chain, and like most new bands it sucked at first. But in a move of complete genius they changed their format from pop to rock influenced acid house. Now this band rules! Download their song "Kill All Hippies"
55. Belle and Sebastian ::: Ballads, in my humble opinion, are one of the worst things to ever happen to rock and roll. That's why it's a good thing Belle and Sebastian aren't Rockers. They make no bones about their true talent as Balladeers. Instead they croon some of the tenderest, sincerist songs to ever touch human ears, yet somehow remain true to their political and social convictions.
54. Pedro the Lion ::: Soft emo-core rock the way it meant to be. Whether Pedro is playing for Tooth and Nail records or Jade Tree, he's guaranteed to do amazing things.
53. Jets to Brazil ::: Stripping rock of its sentiment, sap, and silliness, Jets to Brazil cut to the quick with brain stomping accuracy. They're good, too.
52. Modern Lovers :::
50. Stereolab ::: If there's one thing Tim and Pete love, it's dancing. Dance, dance, DANCE we say! Well, if you feel that way too, check out Stereolab. They're kind of thinking-man's dance music, and they're a whole lot of fun at parties from what I've heard.
49. Mr. Bishop's Fist ::: You don't know how HARD I had to look to find ANY webpage about these guys! ARGHHH! Anyway, about 6 or 7 years ago I bought the brand-new Helpless Amongst Friends hardcore compilation by Tooth and Nail Records. It featured some great bands like Focused, the blamed, and the now infamous P.O.D. (one of their first recordings.) I totally wore my copy out. But on there was a band that easily took the prize for sheer intensity. That band was Mr. Bishop's Fist. They're hardcore to the maximum limit, and well worth the search to find their stuff.
46. Five Iron Frenzy ::: These guys are actually on the list because faithful reader, Jeri, begged us to put them on. They're a ska band, and Pete saw 'em live and bought their first album... That was a long, long time ago. But they're pretty cool anyway, so here they sit.
45. Van Morrison ::: Ask twenty people who Van Morrison is and you will probably receive twenty different answers. But ask those same people if they have heard, and enjoyed the song "Brown-Eyed Girl" and you will hear a resounding Yes. There is a strange fog that hangs around Van Morrison that seems to make him invisible while at the same time his songs are so visible. With hit songs like "Gloria", "And It Stoned Me", "Tupelo Honey", and "Domino" why doesn't this man get the credit he deserves? He influenced and incredible amount of bands (including U2), and as a lyricist he was only surpassed by Bob Dylan. In my humble opinion Van Morrison was the king of rhythm and blues in the late sixties and early seventies.
44. The Dead Milkmen ::: These guys were WAY ahead of their time. In fact, they were so far ahead of their time that even today they are still ahead of their time! Their lyrics are so genius. With songs like "Taking Retards to the Zoo", to "Big Lizard in my Backyard" they made us laugh, and with song like "VFW", and "Spit Sink" they made us angry. That, my friends, is good music. They had REAL talent, not that fake talent that we see today.
43. Jeff Buckley ::: Jeff Buckley died tragically in 1997 at 30 years of age. He was only able in his short life to release one album, Grace. This album, however, was all he really needed to make our list. It's a spectacular album. Jeff Buckley�s death is tragic for many reasons but none more so than the tragic loss of what he could have done musically. He was only going to get better�.
42. Frank Black and the Catholics ::: Let me just start off by saying Frank Black is an absolute genius. Everything he has done is perfect in my mind. He started out with the Pixies (a band you will be seeing again), went solo, and then formed Frank Black and the Catholics. In all those stages he was great. And for that Frank Black is my personal hero, but I can share.
41. Fiona Apple ::: She�s beautiful, she�s intelligent, she�s talented, she�s insane, and I'm in love.
40. U2 ::: U2 is one of those bands that as you read a "Top 100 Bands" list you expect to see. Pete and I tried to avoid as many of these bands as we could, but U2 holds a special place in my heart. Their album Joshua Tree was one of the first recordings I ever purchased. And along with the Counting Crows (I know!) they are the first band I ever fell in love with. So here they sit at number 40.
39. The Dandy Warhols ::: There is a lot I could say about this band, but I will let the first track of their self titled LP speak for me.
"Hello music lover. Thomas Pancake here to tell you that you're the proud new owner of the hottest music on the market today. So get ready for a massive concussion of Rock and Roll with The Dandy Warhols."
The Dandy Warhols are truly outrageous! Just like Jem.
38. Yo La Tengo ::: Most authors, when writing about Yo La Tengo, mention the fact that it's two founding members are married. This leads into a paragraph contrasting Yo La Tengo's musical chemistry with other bands that featured married people, namely Fleetwood Mac. I am not going to do this. What I will do is mention that Yo La Tengo is spanish for "I Have It". I can not tell you what "It" is exactly. I can, however, tell you a few of the things that Yo La Tengo does have: A very jazzy feel, a fresh sound, lyrics that bring you into the song, a head for what is good and what is not, and sex appeal.
37. Charles Mingus ::: Charles Mingus is a poster-child for art passion. He punched his prize-pugilist in the mouth, busting up his teeth and effectively ending his career just for not listening to him. He knew what he wanted, and Mingus usually got what he wanted. He's insane, but we love him..
36. Captain Beefheart and his Magic Band ::: Captain Beefheart is an old band. From old, I'm talking about the 60's... Okay, maybe people weren't truckin' around in covered wagons back then, but for a couple of guys such as ourselves who always had calculators and microwaves lying around, that's pretty old. But these guys got started in 1965. And they are one of the only truly original bands to ever poke their heads into pop culture. If you don't know about them, do yourself a favor and click the link.
33. Roky Erickson ::: Roky is a crazy, crazy man. I read a biography of him, and found out why he's so weird; aside from taking tons of drugs in the 60's, Roky apparently got into trouble with the law, pled insanity, and endured heavy shock treatments as a result (that happened to Lou Reed, too... look what happened to him!). Roky, despite his absolute strangeness, wound up as the father of psychadelic rock. He and his band, the 13th Floor Elevators, put together some of the nicest, oddest music around. Too bad he's not coherent enough to enjoy it.
30. NOFX :::
29. Mississippi John Hurt ::: Hurt is different from everyone so far on our list. He's the first bluesman to make the list, he was born in the 19th century, and he bought his first guitar for $1.50. But more than that, Hurt put the pain, the humor, the gentle gladness, and the deepest melancholy into his lyrics. He well deserves his spot in the top 30.
28. Johnny Cash ::: Out of all the great Country crossover sensations (I mean, think of the list! Shania Twain, Kenny Rogers, Dolly Parton... the list goes on!) only one can hold his head high and walk with pride. The only one (aside from C.W McCall, that is) is Johnny Cash. That's because songs like "Ring of Fire, "I walk the Line, and "Folsom Prison" speak to more than just country fans, yet never deny Cash's down-home roots. He's also one of the coolest cats in Rock 'n Roll. Just don't call him Sue.
25. Skankin' Pickle ::: This third-wave ska band, fronted by Bruce Lee, was one of the coolest, funniest bands out. They put out songs like "Beer, Hockey, Date-rape," and "Hulk Hogan's Going Bald." They are excellent, despite what Tim says.
24. Gorillaz ::: Cartoons are great, aren't they? Gorillaz are a cartoon band who gets a little help from their friends in Blur, Buffalo Daughter, and their good buddy Dan "The Automator." If that's not enough to make you clinch your fists and dance about, click the link! It's the coolest website I've ever seen from a band. Well... with the possible exception of our Melvins link...
23. Handsome Boy Modeling School ::: I chose this project by Dan "The Automator" and Prince Paul to prove a point; you don't need violence or ho's to make great hip-hop. All you really need are beats, intelligent lyricists, and a messed up theme. Take, for example, Handsome Boy Modeling school, a project that focuses on the outer beauty of its creators and their potential as models. I chose the link because a review sounds somehow cooler in French. Take for example, "Le tout sonne comme un James Bond hardcore avec smoking, olives noires et pains dans..." I just wish I knew what it meant.
22. MC Paul Barman ::: Okay, my additions seem to come in threes. MC Barman is the third selection in a row with connections to Dan "The Automator." What can I say? The guy knows good music. MC Barman has a flow and style completely his own, with a disturbed sense of rhythm that hints at his disturbed sense of the world in general. You have to listen to believe.
21. Propellerheads ::: In an age where modems bleet and groan to a techno-chorus of Xeroxes and E-meetings----Okay, stop. Where did you think where I was going with that line? Did you think I was going to say the Propellerheads recalled a vision of musical bygones? HA! Fooled you! The Propellerheads just go right along with today's modern misery, pumping out technology-fueled jive. It's great. Check 'em out. The link, by the way, is extra cool.
20. Rancid ::: The ingredients for punk music have always been quite rudimentary; a simple, three cord melody, mixed with a healthy amount of drums, and sprinkled with a straightforward base line. Rancid did not follow any of these ingredients. They cooked up a different, more complex form of punk. It had harmony. It had incredible base lines. It had the start-stop guitar rhythm of ska. It was the evolution of punk, and it was good. Take a bite, I dare you.
19. Woody Guthrie ::: Would there be a Bob Dylan if there hadn't been a Woody Guthrie? No there would not. What this means to the majority of todays youth is that the Coolio song on the "Dangerous Minds" soundtrack (Gangster's Paradise) would never had made it into the two dollar bargain bin a Joe's Swap Meet and Dentist Mall. So, thank you Mr. Guthrie. You have changed music in a way that you could have never imagined, you poor bastard.
18. Radiohead ::: Yeah, yeah, you know, radiohead. Blaaahhh. But here's where it gets a little controvercial: I like their first two albums...BEST. So there. OK Computer can jack-swing off my nuts.
17. Joe Christmas ::: Joe Christmas is the coolest, man. Tooth and Nail sent me their second album for FREE (underline, underline), and it stayed in heavy rotation for a long time until I lost it someplace. Stupid brothels. All I can say is that the next time some girl named Lucinda offers a half-and-half assuming I leave my CD case as collateral, I'll punch her in her stupid face.
16. Spoon ::: Spoon is a really cool band that will never, ever be popular. I don't know why. They've tried and they've tried. They sent out letters to people. They kissed Carson Daly on the lips. They even tried writing some damned good music. Even THAT desperate move didn't work! So Tim and I basically felt sorry for them and put their pathetic souls on our website.
15. Velvet Underground ::: The Velvet Underground came up with a great idea, but they did it in the wrong era. Here was the formula: Nico was hot, they wrote freaky-weird songs about drugs with names like "Venus and furs," they took lots of drugs, and their production was terrible. Kind of like Blondie, a band who (sadly) did not make our list. Just look at the comparison/contrast:
-VU -BLONDIE
-Wrote "White Light/White Heat -Albums get burned in rallies a lot
-Nico is hot -Debbie Harry gets burned in rallies a lot
-Lou Reed is a drugged-up freak -People like to get freaky listening to "Heart of Glass"
The comparisons go on and on. Frankly, Pete and Tim are tired of listing them. The point is this: Blondie was successful because they ripped off the stuff VU was doing YEARS before.
14. Henry Rollins ::: When you see a guy who challenges insane robot-monsters to car-crushing competitions, you have to take some notice. Back in his Black Flag days, Henry Rollins was a skinny, sickly little punker from the streets of D.C. Now of course he has slam-danced his way into a full-fledged singer-songwriter position at Dreamworks, owns his own record label, and does spoken word poetry onstage. All that and he still finds time to crush cars. Amazing.
13. Moby :::
12. Massive Attack :::
11. Beck ::: We could go on and on about how great Beck is, but that would be boring, and we here at Pete and Tim's aim only to entertain. So let us tell you about our brief excursion to Larry's Villa, a skanky strip joint in Las Vegas. To make a long story short, the strippers were fat, and Tim lost his innocence. Now on to the top ten!
Honorable mentions: These guys belong somewhere between 20 and 10. Maybe 15.5? Perhaps 12.333 repeating? Well, we weren't sure, so they sit right here. Forever. Until we clean the site up a little.
NOFX
The Monks
AND NOW FOR PETE'S TOP 10!!!!!!!! CLICK HERE!!
AND HERE IS TIM'S TOP 10!
