Absolute Moron's Guide to Taxes
1. Get a job, you lazy jerk.
2. Work many, many hard, long hours. Toil day in and day out as time discretely sucks the joy from your life. (Continue through April)
3. When April comes, fill out taxes (preferably before April 15). You can pick up a 1040 form at library, post office, or public school next to the condom dispenser.
4. Go home, stare blankly at 1040 form for about 5 hours.
5. Crumple up 1040 form in frustration.
6. Send 20% of your last year's income to Washington, D.C.*
7. Complain to friends and neighbors about how much you paid in taxes.
8. Vow to Make a Difference in the next election.
9. In November, vote for a completely ineffectual representative who couldn't care less.
10. Spend the rest of your life in bitterness.
*Note: Make sure you include the "D.C." You don't want some guy named Washington to get all that dough, do you?