Absolute Moron's Guide to Proletariat* Revolution
So you've decided to overthrow your government of capitalist pig Bourgeiousie?** It's about time, comrade! Learn the age-old secret of revolution, straight from Tim and Pete's motherland!
1. Stir up descent (make The People angry). You can do this by calling The People's mother names, throwing eggs at The People, or simply exposing The People to too many Billy Idol recordings.
2. Make the public believe that the Evil Bourgeiousie** is responsible for their rage.
3. Smack 'em in the face a couple of times with raw meat, like you might do to a pitbull.
4. Remind them over and over again that you are their Only Hope. Refer to yourself as their "equal" and "comrade." (They'll believe every word! The fools!)
5. Give yourself a good proletariat* title, such as "Mighty Comrade Tim," or "Pete the Better-Amongst Equals."
6. Brutally destroy the Powers-That-Be (also known as the Bourgeiousie).
7. Take the current ruler by his arms and legs, and dip him in a vat of his own capitalist waste, the damned heathen! Then kill him unceremoniously.
8. Live off the fat of your peoples as you slowly fall into the "Castro" style of proletariat* living.
*Note: "Proletariat," translated, means "wholesome milk-fed nationalists,"sweet-faced beauty queens," or "Liberace."
**"Bourgeiousie" means "Whitey, "Rich Jerk," or "Donald Trump."