Absolute Moron's Guide to Resort Management
1. Buy a resort.
2. Sell this resort for more than you paid for it.
3. Buy a better resort.
4. Repeat steps 1-3 until you have acquired the Taj Mahal (the monument--not that crappy casino on the East Coast)
5. Begin renovations. You may consider replacing that old, out-of-date marble tile with some sensible linoleum. If you plan on creating a resort/casino, make sure to get really, really loud carpeting. The brighter the better! If your payroll can afford workers who constantly melt neon crayons on the floor, hire them!
6. Begin employing subordinates. This is important, because you will need people to actually do work. That way you can sit in a tall office and light expensive cigars with old copies of important documents (such as the Constitution).
7. Hire relatives for cooshy jobs like "Pool Attendant" and "Towel Fluffer." Be sure to inflate their egos with repeated promotions.
8. Sit back and watch the money roll in!
9. (optional) Become involved in corporate scandal, do some time in a plush white-collar crime prison, enjoy some tennis and wine coolers while you're there, then get out in 2 years and write a best-selling novel. Be sure to include prison torture stories!