Absolute Moron's Guide to Fishing
1. Gather necessary equipment (pole, string, funny looking bait hat) and drive to fishing spot.
2. Bait hook.
3. Bandage finger.
4. Repeat steps 2-3 until hook is baited.
5. Cast line into large body of water*
6. Curse at the fact that fish are not biting.
7. Throw pole into large body of water.
8. Drive to Jack in the Box, buy some 99-cent Jumbo Jacks for the kids.
*Note: Do not choose bathtubs, swimming pools, or septic tanks for your "large body of water."