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| Thoughts that entered my mind after I saw this book at Borders: "Ok, just keep on walking... don't make eye contact... yes, keep going... Damn, I looked! I hate me so much!", "Is there really such thing as anal health?", "Who is Dan Savage, and why would I need two of these books?", "If this is the third edition, what was the second edition like?", "Do heterosexuals need to worry about anal health?", "Why is this book on the best seller shelf?", "A guide for men AND women?", " A PH.D is NOT the same thing as a MD.", "Jack Morin is gay." I was both curious and afraid. I wanted to read this book, gleaning it's knowledge, and at the same time I wanted to run home to my mommy to tell her how my mind had been violated by a bad, bad man. It was this confliction that made it clear that I had to review this book. Let us first focus on the idea of anal pleasure. I will attempt to make this as "not gross" as I can, but facts are facts, and facts about anal sex are gross, so just take a deep breath and read on. Men do receive pleasure from anal sex, that is a known fact. It has something to do with their prostate. Women, however, receive very little stimulation from anal sex due to the fact that God, in an act of true insensitivity, gave them a uterus instead of a prostate (Don't say we never taught you anthing here at Pete and Tim's). Anyway, my point being; You shouldn't have anal sex with a woman unless she really wants it, and even then you may just want to take a step back and ask her, "Is it this act of sexual deviancy worth risking your anal health?" The answer is probably no... Some of you out there may be asking, "What if she wants to give ME anal sex?" I have no answer to that because I am in total shock that you are dating (or are married to) such a freak. Therefore, I want to shift the focus of this review from the anal pleasure aspect of this book to the anal health aspect of this book, because anal health is really what's on the minds of all you readers, right? I thought so. I can not count the times that someone has asked, "What is that awful stink?", seconds after I have entered a room. In fact, right now the guy sitting next to me here in the computer lab is staring at me with a look of utter disgust. Needless to say, when it comes to anal health I am in deep doo-doo (Ha! Get it? Fine, I hate you too). This book has all sorts of great ideas that I can use to keep my anus in tip top shape. I'll list a few out here. 1)Pooping. Seriously, I've said it before, nothing cleans you out better, and quicker than pooping. The author suggests a high fiber diet to keep pooping regular and firm. 2) Suppositories. I skipped past this part because it started to get a little to sexy for my tastes. His point was that suppositories help the poop slide through the rectum easier and cleaner, but then he started drawing parallels... you know... to anal pleasure and thats where I draw the line. If pooping EVER becomes a sexy experience for me I will, swear to God, stop pooping. 3) A Bidet. I think the French have it figured out. This was the best and least sexy option I found. A stream of water coming from the toilet and going directly into my rectum.... genius! 4) Pipe Cleaners. I read this one for almost a paragraph. It was too much for my baptist soul to bear. 5) Anal yoga. I am serious people. There is such a thing as anal yoga. I got to the "The Sphincter Flamingo" and I just had to stop reading. I mean, he can't be serious (?) Anyway, I didn't like this book so much, but some of you may find use for it. I will end this review with another quote I found while searching for information about this book. "The "Anal Health" part of the title is no joke. From my late teens I was plagued with stabbing cramps, bleeding, butt leprosy, and messier symptoms-- doctors cited stress, irritable bowel syndrome, and had nothing to recommend but yet more fiber. In a matter of short weeks, the relaxation and muscle control exercises in this book cut down the pain I'd suffered for years. This is a must for any general medical practitioner, anyone diagnosed with IBS, and, I'm tempted to say, anyone with a butt." -Treebyleaf McCurdy. Anyone with a butt? Ha! You kill me Treebyleaf McCurdy! I'm tempted to say, shut the hell up. |
| Pete and Tim's page for Jerks and their Mothers (Anal Pleasure and Health) |
| The quote at the top of the book reads: "Absolutly indispensable. I can't recommend this book strongly enough. Buy two." Dan Savage, nationaly syndicated columnist, "Savage Love" Some other quotes I found about this book: "The bible of anal sanity..." Suzie Bright, Salon "This is the first and only research-based guide for the millions of men and women, of all sexual orientations, who want to include the anal area in their erotic exploration..." The Publisher of this book. "...detailed and thorough...irreverent and elegant." David E. Smith, M.D., founder/medical director, Haight Ashbury Free Clinics "100% icky... I remember when sex was sexy. What happened?" Tim Street, XXX specialist. "I am expecting copyright royalties in the mail at any moment." Aaron, faithful reader |
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