You are probably wondering what has changed in this translation. Let me just assure that the message remains the same. It is still all about the love, only this time it costs a little more. In the old bible we are only saved by the grace and love of God, but in this translation mankind was put on this earth to pull tricks for Him. The more tricks you pull, the higher you rise in "God's Whoredom". You must strive to become God's favorite whore in order to spend eternity in heaven. In order for all this to be possible, Jesus was sent as an example of what a true whore would do for his pimp. It is this example that we must follow in order to not recieve the eternal "Bitch Slap".
I found this translation of the bible to be very helpful. It has helped me come to terms with my faith. It has given me a better idea of what I need to focus on in order to reach the ultimate goal of "Everlasting Pimphood". And it has made me smarter and sexier so that I can pull the ultimate tricks. You suckers reading the old NIV are never going to make it, and if you're stuck with the King James I just hope you like getting back handed for all eternity.