�Better Than Best� Chapter 15: Anger & Gotta Go

In the lobby I kicked a chair in anger. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to run. I wanted it to be me instead of Dan. This wasn�t happening. It couldn�t be happening. Everything was so screwed up. Things that I had thought would never matter again made me angry and scared. Did I really love Dan? Was he really the person I wanted to be with? I shook the thoughts from my head. Of course he was. He always would be.

I was unaware of the people around me. Jacob and Ashley had taken seats on either side of me. Trevor sat across from me. They all waited for me to speak. They wanted to know how I felt. As if the tears didn�t say enough.

�What?� I said angrily at them. �Why are you staring at me?�

�Jenna, we just want to be there for you. Please, just let us help,� Ashley said.

�Ash, I don�t need help. I am perfectly capable of dealing with this on my own,� I didn�t mean the words I said.

�Jenna, we know you need us. Don�t be afraid. What happened was horrible, but we�re gonna get through this,� Jacob told me.

�No, Jake. I am afraid. I won�t deny it. I don�t want Dan to die. I need him in my life,� I dried my tears on my sleeve. Too many tears had been cried so far today.

�He won�t die. He�s going to make it,� Trevor comforted me.

Mike and Mike came into the room. �Well,� Cronin said.

�It�s been a long, hard day. Why don�t you guys go back to the hotel and get some sleep?� Morin didn�t ask so much as tell us to go.

�I�m staying here,� I said.

�Then we�re staying too,� Trevor said.

Mike and Mike agreed and let us be. I got up from the group and walked toward the hallway. My mind was flooded of thoughts. I couldn�t see or think straight. Everything was so screwed up. I never wanted this to happen. I was pacing back and forth across the room. I hit the wall, then shrunk down beside it sobbing yet again. Ashley came and sat down beside me.

�Jenna,� he said softly placing his hand on my leg.

I looked up into his eyes. They were filled with pain, but yet he was over here, trying to help me get over my pain. �Ash,� I said.

�What can I do to help you?� he asked his voice breaking.

�You can be here with me,� I replied.

�Yeah, I can do that,� Ashley shook his head. �Are you sure there�s nothing else?�

�You can be my best friend, like usual. You can keep my sane. And you can get me coffee,� I said.

�Got it. I�ll be right back,� Ashley got up to find coffee.

I rubbed my forehead. Mike Morin was walking toward me. He held out his hand and helped me up. �Jenna, I know this isn�t the greatest time for you, but we�ve got to talk business.�

�Sure, why not,� I shrugged. Maybe it would take my mind off of Dan. We walked over to the other guys and sat down. Nobody said anything until Ashley got back holding a cup of coffee.

He handed it to me and sat down. �What�s going on?� he asked.

�The press is already going crazy with Dan�s accident. They want you guys to have a press conference or some kind of public address on the situation. Carson Daly has already called and is willing to let you guys do it on TRL tomorrow. You have to tell everyone that the tour is cancelled,� Mike Cronin said.

We all looked up. �Cancelled?� I asked.

�There�s no way Dan can perform for a long time,� Morin said.

I suddenly realized how bad this was. �I vote that we do the Backstreet thing and go on TRL,� Trevor said.

No one else said anything so Cronin cleared is throat. �That means that you guys gotta get on a plane tonight and go.�

Everyone looked at me. �What? Fine I�ll go.�

�Then let�s go,� Morin said.

�I have to tell Dan goodbye first,� I said and walked down the hall. I entered his room.

He faced me when I walked over to his bed. �Dan, the guys and I are going to New York tonight to be on TRL tomorrow. The Mikes want us to inform the public about your accident,� I leaned closer to him.

He didn�t say anything. So I spoke again.

�Dan, I�ll be back as soon as I can,� I kissed his lips.

�Okay,� was all he could say.

I didn�t want him to see me cry again so I turned and walked out. Half way down the hall I turned and looked toward his room. He didn�t deserve this.

I met the guys at the door and we went back to the hotel. I threw some stuff into my carry on bag and put the rest of it in another bag. I packed Dan�s stuff and took it all out to the SUV. I put the stuff I wouldn�t need in the back.

We went to the airport and to the gate. Jacob, Trevor, Ashley, Mike Cronin and I would be going to New York. Mike Morin would stay with Dan. We got on the plane and flew to New York.

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