- Author - Dot (and_so_it_begins)
- Rating - R (sex, language)
- Spoilers/Timeline - End of Season One
- Summary - Sydney and Vaughn are sent on a mission together
- Disclaimer - Aint mine. Dammit. I'm 17 years old (16 when i wrote most of this). Dont sue me.
- 'Ship (if applicable) - Syd and her lovely Vaughn
- Distribution - Protosun, SD-1, Allies, Cover Me. You want it? Email me at [email protected]
SYD'S POV UNLESS INDICATED
Part One
The rain trickles little patterns down my window; it seems to be all i can look at. I'm vaguely processing the idea that it was another bright and beautiful day just this morning, but, heck, this is LA, and anything can happen.
I'm getting hungry, and i contemplate whether to make something now, or wait until Francie gets home. Come to think of it, my minds been awhirl in all sorts of other places today, and i honestly cant say whether shes supposed to be late today or not.
Deciding to go for the selfish approach, i set about assessing todays dinner choices in the cupboard in the kitchen. However it would appear that there isnt a great deal of anything. Figures, and it kind of fits my mood. I pick up the phone, and rifle through the mountain of takeout menu's i have lying by the phone for occasions just such as this.
I've just settled on Mexican, when the phone rings in my hand. I jump, and i answer, but silence greets me on the other end. 'Hello?'
'Joey's Pizza?'
I groan, this was NOT what i was wanting right about now. 'No, wrong number.'
I hang up, and i think i remember having tipped Vaughn off about a mission SD-6 was planning on sending me on, but, to be honest, i just dont seem to be in the mood for anything.
Grumbling, i exit in time to find Francie outside the front door. I murmer that the bank needs me, and i leave to the sound of her insisting that 'That damn place works you too hard'
Got to say, i agree.
**
Driving to the warehouse, i vaguely wonder which tie Vaughn will be wearing tonight. Funy thing about him, no matter what, he always seems to be impeccable. And me? I'm wearing normal stuff, jeans, tshirt, and i suddenly feel underdressed. Call me a fool, but some part of me always likes to look nice for him. I know its not arrogance, he does *like* me.
But, of course, i'm not allowed to go there. He's just my 'handler'. Despite the oh so pleasant connotations that that word would traditionally arouse in me, today i just cant seem to be bothered. its one of the really annoying kinds of blue moods, where you just dont have a clue.
Pulling up outside, i look around, force of habit, to check SD-6 hasnt sent anyone to watch me. Sometimes they do that. i remember once in training, i was out at a bar with Francie, and i broke a guy's jaw for following me. Simpler times then.
I walk inside, and i can see his figure examining something on one of the racks against the wall. I;ve never been there long enough to determine what's actually in there myself. 'Vaughn?'
He spins around, but smiles at me nonplussed. 'Sydney'
'So, what's up?'
'Ok, well, we recieved your Intel for this mission to London and our guys put together a countermission for you. You'll be there alone right?'
'Hmm? Oh, yeah, Dixon has the week off, and it shouldnt be too difficult'
'Ok, well, um, this is kinda designed for two, and, well...'
'So... you'll be?'
'Yeah. i mean, unless you want somebody else'
'No, no, that'll be fine'
I take a chair sitting near Vaughn, who's was perched on the end of a table and he lays out the mission. They would visit the estate of a Jonathon Irwin and pose as a wealthy couple at a party in his home, and then they would remove a crucial disk from his vault.
When he was finished, Vaughn lookes over at me, and tilts his head 'You ok, you seem a little distracted?'
'Nah, i'm fine. See you in London on Monday, ok?'
'Bye'
Something occurs to me and i turn around 'We have to be married right?'
'Yes. That a problem?'
'No'
**
i have to be married to Vaughn? the excessive possiblities were running through my head, and part of me likes it. I get home and eat with Francie and Will, and excuse myself to go to bed. I need to sleep at least 8 hours a night, and i've got a long flight tomorrow.
Something tells me this is gonna be a wierd few days
PART 2
I'm dead tired. And, GOD, i hate plane journeys. You'd think by now i'd be used to it, but, nope, i still get jetlag from hell and i can never sleep on the damn things either. I dont even know if Vaughn is on the plane with me, although part of me wishes he were. Even if SD-6 is having me followed, having a chat with a nice guy on a plane cannot be against their master plan, surely.
I'm restless, jumpy, and the in-flight movie is, well, less than brilliant. Guessing the fact that i've been on the plane for about 8 hours, i think we'd be a good 3/4 of the way there. It's been a while since i've been to England, and one flight kinda bleeds into the other.
I get up, determined to stretch my legs before once again attempting to sleep. I figure this mission might take it out of me, so best to at least try to sleep. Chances are i'll be sleeping in a room with Vaughn this time tomorrow night, and, well, hard to sleep when there's a gorgeous guy maybe less than a foot away. Ok, i'll admit, i've considered this from all angles. Alright, honestly, i've considered *him* from all angles as well. Debriefs are boring, you need something to focus on.
Walking up to the front of the plane, i stand in the queue for the bathroom. i get this bizarre feeling i'm being watched, and i turn to see Vaughn himself lined up behind me. He smiles slightly, and, despite myself, my heart does a little flip-flop. i doubt the guy has any clue how good looking he actually is, and i'd probably never have the heart to tell him.
He stands behind me, whispering in my ear 'Hey. Long night?'
'Yeah. I told you i never sleep on planes right?'
I can hear him smirk 'You may have mentioned it in passing. Several times'
I groan. Great, i moan at him all the time, dont i? Just f**king *perfect*. 'So, uh, there's something that's been playing on my mind'
'Hmm?'
'The hotel we're staying in. I'm assuming that we'll be, uh, sharing a room?'
'Well, yeah. As a married couple, one assummes that we'd... sleep together.' I crimson at the thought and he rushes to correct himself. 'I mean, in the same room. Not in the same bed. I mean, unless you... I should go sit down. Now...'
I grab his arm, and lean over to whisper in his ear 'It's ok. and besides, the thought *had* occured to me more than once'
I wink, and let him take that in. He's enjoying this, i can tell. And, to be fair, so am i. This is the only time that we can ever really look at each other and talk in a place filled with people, and i fully intend to take advantage of that. And, heck, if i embarrass him.. all the better!
The queue has shortened enough so that i finally enter the tiny cubicle. A million dirty litle thoughts are spewing through my brain, but i can't... Right? I mean, it would just be... Plus, it smells in here, indicating germs and as much as i'd like to, i hate getting dirty. And, silly me, it would complicate things a little too much.
Which i dont want? right?
PART 3
London, England (well, duh!) The Hotel Near The Airport (i havent been there in a while, give me a break!)
My mind's still on a euphoric high from my little thing with Vaughn. Flirting... the other powerful drug. He's arranging our room, and i'm standing with the bags, attempting not to focus on the fact that it's 8pm, and in a couple of hours, i'll be in a bed with Vaughn. Heck, i know that its not actually a necessity, i mean, who the hell's gonna see us together, but better to practise being all in love. Not hard. Even tired, Vaughn looks gorgeous.
Wait a sec, where did all this come from? I mean, i've always thought Vaughn was a honey, cos, well, i have eyes, but, jeez, i'm getting all gooey over him. Thoughts that i shouldnt be having keep going through my mind, and, y'know, i think i like them.
Finally, he's finished talking; in an English accent i swear is the hottest thing ever, and he approaches, brandishing one of those little credit card thingies, smiling. he drawls 'Ready, my love?' and winks - in full view of the other folks in the lobby.
Oooh, this is harder than i thought. I think i'm swooning. 'Yeah.' God, i *hate* my accent. I need a better one.
Ascending the stairs, one of those attendant guys behind us, he takes my hand, and squeezes it, possessively, the way i remember i used to hold Danny's. There's no comparison though. Danny was wonderful, and i'll never forget him, but *this*... i dont know what it is, but i like it. And, how come i never noticed how good he smells? How come i never noticed that i could well be in love with my handler?
He leans over and whispers in my ear. 'Having fun yet?'
Take me, take me. 'Yeah, course. I always do when i'm with you' I drop the accent for a minute, so he gets it. He's slightly taken aback, but i know he likes it. I like the playfulness. I like that he's not all business. And, most of all, i love the envious looks passing single women throw at me when they walk past. Yeah, damn it, i have a complete God with me. And, we're going to have sex. Very soon. Really. I'm entertaining the thought right now. And the thought's entertaining me.
I'm thinking i shouldnt have had the 5th bottle of whatever the hell that stuff was on the plane, because just the thought of it is making my head swim. Is this what utter infatuation feels like? If so, i'm enjoying it.
Finally at our room, Vaughn throws open the door. Pushing him over the threshold, i'm on him, and our lips meet. God, its like an explosion. It's manic, it's hungry, and he pulls back. I'm disappointed, but he indicates a nervous room service guy, and reaches for his wallet.
I think i might be on fire. No, really. I'm tingling all over, and he hasnt even touched me yet. If that's from one kiss... it'll be a long night. I shoot a death glare borrowed from my Father at the unfortunate room service guy, and i think he's scared of me. My mother would be proud, i can tell. What little i know about her suggests this.
The door closing stirs me. We're alone. I move towards him, and he looks somewhere between confused and aroused. And i want it. Screw the CIA, screw SD-6. He moves back. 'Woah. That was pretty convincing.'
His backing up is halted by the wall behind us. 'Just practicing' and a i touch his cheek, a deeply intimate gesture for me.
Which he doesnt seem to get. Removing my hand, he says 'Syd, um, we shouldn't... i mean, mission stuff. I'm not supposed to... y'know' He looks nervous.
Wait a sec, i dont want the rulebook, i want *him*. 'Do you always live by the rules, Agent Vaughn? Fuck them. The rules arent here. Kendall isnt here. Sloane isnt here. It's just you and me' I wobble slightly. Shit, i *am* drunk, arent i? 'And, i've been thinking about this all day.' Not a lie.
I push him strongly against the wall and we kiss again, furiously, my mind screaming Yes, Yes!, my hands through his hair, holding him against me. He moves his hands down to my back, drawing me forward. I moan slightly, and he reverses our positions, thrusting me up, hard. Personally i've always hated not being in charge, but this time... i'm *really* not minding. I move downwards, to nibble slightly on his neck. He growls slightly, a very attractive, stimulating noise, and nips my ear with his teeth. Moving back to his lips, we resume. I must be over excited, because i think i bite his bottom lip.
He pulls back, licking his lips, looking half crazed. Which is likely reflected on my face. 'What is it?' No answer. 'Vaughn? What is it?' I move towards him again.
'We cant do this'
'Why not?' I genuinely do want to know. 'I thought you...'
Quietly, he states, 'I do. I want this. But, not now. You're drunk.'
Oooh, below the belt. 'Fuck you. I *so* am not!' The room is definitely spinning. 'Ok, maybe a little.'
He takes my hand, making me shiver. 'When we do... if we ever do, i want you to be sober, i want you to know exactly how you feel, and i want to know that you want me'
What, is he blind? I raise my voice. 'Hey, i may well be drunk, but i know what i do and dont want. What i do want is to screw you, preferably until i pass out from exhaustion. What i dont want, at this moment, is to be reminded of the fact that i shouldnt want this at all. That a professional relationship is all that i should want from you. Not that i should spend hours thinking about you, about this exact moment. So, yeah, maybe in the morning, when i've sobered off, i wont be quite so honest, and i may well not even remember this, but i wanted you. Like you want me. I always do!'
Then... blackness.
PART 4
The alarm clock stirs me from sleep, and i grunt and kick it off the side table, waking up to a splitting headache. Exactly how much did i drink last night? I roll over... to find a fully clothed Vaughn lying next to me, asleep. He's so gorgeous, and peaceful. I love it.
I'm plagued by a thought. A horrible dream where i came onto Vaughn. Well, not horrible because i did; i made a complete ass of myself. I shiver. Never.
Um, where the hell am i? Oh, yeah, London. With my 'husband'. He makes a small noise and rolls over. God, i must have been trashed. I cant remember leaving the damn plane. Never again. I will never drink again. Honestly.
I stumble up, and trip over my shoes 'Fuck!' Vaughn must have taken them off. Along with my jacket and sweater, which are on a chair opposite the bed. He stirs and grumbles as he comes awake. 'Morning, sleepyhead.'
He looks at me, puzzled, but shrugs 'How long you been up?'
'About two minutes' I grimace. 'Two very long, head splitting minutes. I think i'm going to hurl.' I look over to him, blinded by the sun, which makes me hurt even more. 'How much did i drink last night? I dont even remember getting here'
He looks suspicious 'You dont?'
'Nope. It's so wierd'
I figure i must look like a pathetic drunk, because he changes the subject. 'We're gonna have to figure out what we're going to do tomorrow. At the dinner'
'Well, i just have to be all devoted to you, right?' Which, y'know, will *not* be hard.
He smiles, but it fades 'Yeah'. He smiles, and i notice something. 'Did i hit you or something? Last night?'
'No, why?'
'You have, like, a bruise or something on your lips.' Flashes of my dream come back, i throw them off. 'I've been told i'm an extremely violent sleeper.' Great, now he'll think i'm a slut.
He takes it all in stride, but quietly says 'You must of, i guess' and moves towards the bathroom. 'I'm going to have a shower'
'Ok' i check my watch. 'I'm going to watch GMTV' He looks at me, amused. 'Morning show, me and Dixon watch it. In seperate rooms, obviously.'
He nods in affirmation, but checks 'You wanna go first, i dont mind.'
'Nah, i just, uh, need to pee.' Cant believe i didnt notice before.
****
My glass of Nurofen in my hand, Eamonn Holmes on the TV. Normal. I've noticed i'm unusually on edge this morning, like i am when i get close to... well, sex, but dont get it. Must have been the dream. Nothing else could explain it. Not even mass quantities of sparking between me and Vaughn could be responsible for that.
I look idly around the room, noticing something in the mirror. Approaching, i look for the source of the unease. And, i notice it.
On my right earlobe are teeth marks.
Last night comes flooding back. Vaughn against the wall... the feel of *him* on my body.
'Oh, no no no' I am such a stupid bitch. Now he's going to hate me. Making it worse is the fact that he is lying to me. Without cracking. S'pose i could just brush it under the carpet... i mean, he doesnt want to talk about it. Hmm...
The door opens, and any words i could have said are immediately silenced. He's wet, and clad in nothing by a towel. The hair is everywhere, and he looks over at me, concerned. 'You ok?'
Shit, i must have be drooling. 'Um, nothing.'
Idiot. 'Right. You want the shower?' He turns, revealing a couple of faint bruises on his back. God, i really must have thrown him at the wall... i know i'm violent, but, jeez!
His neck is faintly red from where i bit him last night, and, now that i'm fully concious, i notice he avoids looking right at me. Because he wanted it as well. I was smashed out of my skull on cheap booze and he wanted me as much as i wanted him. I always want something when i've been drinking.
My heart sinks. He'll think it meant nothing, that i was just some drunk, screwed up idiot. And he'll hate me if i sweep it away. I walk over to him, and lay a hand on his shoulder, and he moves sharply. Quietly, i try to form the words. 'I'm sorry.'
He looks shocked. 'You remember?'
'Yeah. I remember. And i'm sorry that i put you in that position last night.'
He looks hurt, and i know he must have taken it the wrong way. 'Heck, i was there. I shouldnt have... i took advantage of you'
Ok, the valiant knight stuff is sexy as hell, but, who the hell is he trying to kid? 'You didnt. I wanted you last night, and normally i dont take no for an answer. But, you said no, before we did something. Something that would have changed everything. No matter how much i like you, how much i want you, there are rules in play'
Didnt i say the opposite last night? Fuck, i dont know what to think anymore. He smiles faintly, but he hates this as much as i do. 'You want me?'
'Didnt i say that last night?' I did, right?
'Yeah, you did. Burned in my mind. Like everything else.'
I reach up to touch his face, but i stop at my bite on his neck. Softer, i inquire 'Did i hurt you?'
'No' He looks kinda ashamed. 'I liked it. Fitted all of last night perfectly.' He clears my hair behind my ear, admiring his handiwork. Things are getting close again, and my pulse is going up. Pulling back, he walks to his cases, looking for clothes. 'You should get a shower'
I dont remember everything i said to him, but the actions are burned into my mind. The way he tasted, the way he touched me, the way i wanted him to kiss me, to... do the things i wont ask him to do. Not yet.
I turn on the spray, and the bathroom smells like him. I pull off my shirt, wincing. I turn to look in the mirror. My back is bruised, just like his. Inside, i'm burning at the memory. Things i dont want to feel, the little tingle in my crotch - all the perfections of Vaughn.
I wont be able to forget him, will i? Tomorrow night, i have to be married to him. Which, sadly, leaves tonight free for chemistry and long silences.
Terrific...
PART 5
I'm clean, i'm clothed, and i've eaten breakfast. Feeling a little better already. Vaughn seems awful interested in his coffee cup. Me? I dont think i've said a word since we left the room. I cant even look at him right now. Every time i do, i feel a small twinge of arousal. Not the best idea.
He looks over. 'One of us should speak at some point.'
'Yeah, i know.' I look up, and he smiles, comforting me greatly. 'I just dont know what to say. I dont even remember all i said to you last night. I mean, if i hurt you, or...' Or if i told you i love you. The uncompleted part of the sentence.
'Or?'
'Or if i said something really stupid.' Close enough. He reaches forward and laces his fingers through mine. Mission stuff, of course. I look over and take a breath. He looks so in love with me, and i know that it isnt all for show. Christ, i know what it feels like to kiss him, to feel him touching me.
'You didnt. We just...' He struggles. 'Came to an understanding about us. That we both feel something, but that last night wasnt the time'
I do feel something, i can't deny it. I want him to want me. But, to the same degree, i want to feel him with me, within me. I want him to whisper in my ear, and tell me he loves me, that he wont ever leave. I think i need that. I never had it with Noah, and i did with Danny, but, well, why dwell on the past?
I want to be able to tell him i love him, but i know that it could never be. I have SD-6, he has the CIA, and those two would never mix. We'd both die if we were discovered. I'd find another dead body in a bathtub, and i dont think i could have that again. I cant win.
'Last night wasn't the time.' I look directly into those beautiful eyes of his. 'But, there will be a time, right? One day?'
He considers a moment. 'Yes. I dont know when, but there will be.'
**************
It's 10pm and we tiredly fall through the door to the hotel room. My feet are killing me, and i think i may have bought a little too much in the shopping center. I grumble, sitting on the bed. 'My feet are killing me.'
He looks over from his seated position on the sofa, and rises towards me. Bending down, he gingerly unlaces my boots, pulling them off gently, and removing my socks, rubbing my feet when they're exposed to him. 'Better?'
mmm, this is heaven. I close my eyes 'Yeah' I think it may have come out a moan, because when i open my eyes, he's looking right at me, desire evident, which he quickly attempts to mask. The realization hits me...
This is it... the 'right time'. I lean over, and kiss his forehead, and he tilts upwards, and we kiss, softly at first, but it becomes more heated, and he pulls me to my feet, his arms around my waist, not breaking the kiss.
He pulls back slightly. 'You sure?' He looks so unsure. I move my hands to play with a small section of his hair, and i smile at him, nodding.
'This is the time'
We resume, desperately. His hands move up, under my shirt, to caress my back. I hiss slightly when he touches my bruises, but, to be honest, it's not bothering me. An earthquake wouldnt bother me right now.
I pull his sweater over his head, and his thin shirt with it. We break apart for a minute, and i reach to caress his abdomen. Its fantastic. He shivers slightly, and he loves this. His hand touches my chin, tilting it upwards to kiss me softly.
I move backwards, to come to the wall... the wall we started at last night, bringing him with me. Pausing, i pull my shirt over my head, and he kisses my neck, moving down to support himself on his knees, kissing my stomach. Oh, he knows exactly what he's doing.
His hands are everywhere, on my breasts, moving down to my ass. I'm churning away, and i know he can feel it. He brings his hands around to open the zip of my black trousers, unzipping slowly, lowering them. He looks up, and his voice is husky, clouded with what we feel. 'Step up.'
I do, and he discards my jeans. I know what he wants to do, and i dont think now is the time. I pull him up, to face level. He looks puzzled. 'Not tonight, ok?' I reach down, smoothing his body with my hands, to unhook his belt, and he starts kissing me again, moving his hands down between my legs. I think i scream, noone has touched me like this before. We both know i'm close, and i'm determined that i will *not* do anything until he's inside me.
Clouded with lust, i push him backwards, pulling his jeans down, and pulling him, we fall towards the bed. I knew it would be like this. Heavy, hard, and he's loving me like i love him. The thought hits me suddenly, when we're lying together, in our underwear. 'Um, Vaughn?'
He pulls up, worried. 'Hmm?'
'We, uh, dont have anything, to, y'know, cover all us.' I look meaningfully at him. He gets it, and rises to his feet, pulling me with him by my wrists, crushed against him, moving to his bag. He's mumbling, and its mixed in with little growls everytime i touch him through his boxers. I can feel him against me, and i want it. I'd do it without protection at this point, i cant stop. 'I coulda sworn...' He rummages behind me, finally withdrawing what he was looking for. Durex. My boy is nothing if not prepared. He *knew*. Normally i would care about something like that, but, fuck it.
He unhooks my bra and lays me on the bed, kissing my body, massaging all my muscles, removing my underpants, and he does what i didnt need him to. His mouth on the places i never let anyone else kiss me. The moment comes, and i scream, as everything washes over me, and i haul him violently up to me, kissing, biting. I taste blood, but it doesnt matter anymore.
I push his pants down, and pull him back up, and he's prepared already. He slows down, and whispers into my ear. 'How do you want me?'
'Pick one'
He steadies, and then... kaboom. I think both of us grunt. God, this is fantastic. He's babbling, so am i, nothing making any sense. It's fast, bruising, but i like it. He pulls me up until we're both at face level, and lifts me up to slam down again. He bites into my shoulder, and i know he's just become mine. And i sink my nails into his shoulder.
I want to cry, but he'd take it the wrong way, and if he stops touching me, i swear i'll kill him. We slow down, our bodies are covered in bite marks, saliva and sweat. He looks at me, and whispers 'I love you'
Kill me now. 'I love you too.'
We fall back, he collapses on me, and i play lightly with his hair. Perfection, achieved. I'm seized into a kind of panic at the fact i just told someone i love them, but the feel of him there with me alleviates anything i could want to say. I raise his face to me, and we kiss lightly.
It can only get worse from here. I've died and i'm in heaven. Anything after this would be a disappointment.