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| : : : D&D part 2 : : : |
| : : : back home : : : |
| Dumb & Dumber - part 2 "AAAAAAHHHHHH." Nick slammed the door to the apartment and flung himself face first to the floor. "Where's the booze?" Brian asked. "I was ROBBED - by a sweet old lady on a mot... mota.... whatsa word? MOTORIZED cart!" Nick yelled. "Whatsa matter, Brian?" Brian sighed. "Y'all know my dog - Tyk?" "Yeah, what about him?" Nick asked. "He's dead!" Brian wailed. "NO!" Nick sat down on the couch next to Brian. "How did that happen?" "HIS HEAD FELL OFF!" "Oh my God!" Nick cringed. "Yeah." Brian sniffed. "He was gettin kinda old." "I can't take this anymore." Nick stood up. "We're broke, we've got no beer - OUR PETS HEADS ARE FALLING OFF..." Brian sniffed again. "I'm sick of our life!" Nick continued to rant. "Let's get out of here, Brian!" "And go where?" Brian demanded. "I spent my life's savings turning my van into a dog!" "Aspen." Nick nodded. "I don't know." Brian shrugged. "I keep hearing things about the French..." ---------------------------------------------------------- � Kevin stared at the note left for him on the door to Nick and Brian's apartment. It read: � deer gas man, sory we didnt pay the billl, but we are, ya know, going to apesn. Nick and Brain. � "Public school?" A.J. wondered. "How did he know I have gas?" Kevin asked, popping another bill. ---------------------------------------------------------- � "Wanna cheesepuff?" Nick held the bag out to Brian. "Where'd y'all get those?" Brian asked. Nick shrugged. "I sold some stuff." "Like what?" "Ya know, Nintendo cartridges, baseball cards..." Nick coughed, "Tyk..." "TYK!" Brian yelled. "NICK - HE DIDN'T HAVE A HEAD!" Nick rolled his eyes. "Brian - I, ya know, took care of it!" ---------------------------------------------------------- � Back at the apartment complex, the little blind boy sat with Tyk - who's head was duct taped on - on his lap. "Nice doggie..." ---------------------------------------------------------- � "It's, like, a beautiful day!" Nick giggled in the front of the van. "Hey - look!" He added, vigorously moving his arms back and forth in a running motion. "If you do this - it feels like you're running at an incredible rate!" "NICK!" Brian yelled. "Cut it out - we're not even out of Florida and y'all are already annoying me!" � Nick studied the menu at the truck stop diner in Tennessee. "What're you gonna have?" The waitress whipped out her pad and snapped her gum impatiently. "What's the soup de' jour?" Nick asked. "It's the soup of the day." She retorted. "Mmmm." Nick nodded. "That sounds good. I'll have that." The waitress left. Nick leaned across the table. "Feels good to mingle with these laid back southern folk - huh, Bri?" Brian shrugged. "If y'all say so..." "Hey - look!" Nick was fascinated by the juke box on the table. "Look - they have Journey! They have a singer named Steve Perry, ya know. They were a major influence on Nirvana!" "Yeah?" Brian knocked the salt shaker over. Nick gasped. "Brian! You knocked the salt over! That's, like, really bad luck! Throw some salt over your right shoulder!" Brian tossed the salt shaker over his right shoulder, where it hit a trucker in the head. "WHAT THE HE**!" "Oops." Nick watched the huge man in plaid approach. "Which one of you did that?" Nick covered his head and pointed at Brian. "He-llo!" Brian grinned cheerfully. The trucker glared. "Um..." Brian looked down at his burger. "Are you going to eat that?" The trucker asked. "Um...no - yes - no... I was thinking about it - yes..." Brian stammered. The trucker calmly spit on the burger, turned and walked away. "No - I wasn't gonna eat it." Brian grumbled. Nick proceeded to con the waitress into letting the trucker pay for their bill. � "That was genius, man!" Brian giggled, once they were in the van and driving down the road. "How'd y'all come up with that?" "I saw it in a movie!" Nick explained. "Did the guy find out?" "Yeah - that was the best part - he caught up with him a mile down the road and slit his throat!" Nick beamed. "It was a good one!" Brian pressed the accelerator to the floor. --------------------------------------------------------- "C'mon!" A.J. hollered at Kevin. "Let me kill them! Just this once!" "No." Kevin calmly opened the hood to the car. "You hide over there and when they pick me up, you follow." "Man..." A.J. snarled. Kevin stood by the side of the road, smiling when he saw the huge sheepdog barreling down the highway. He waved. The van pulled over. "Hi there!" Nick chirped. "Ummmm..." Kevin pointed back at his car. "I'm having a little trouble, see? Could you give me a lift?" "Well..." Nick pondered for a moment. "We don't usually pick up hitchhikers, but... what they hey - climb in parder!" He got out to let Kevin in the middle seat. "Hi!" Brian greeted him. "Wow - y'all look just like my cousin!" "I have a cousin." Kevin nodded. "Two, actually..." They started down the road again. "You're it." Nick reached across Kevin and tagged Brian's arm. "Y'all are it." Brian tagged Nick. "You're it - double stamped." Nick retorted. "Y'all are it - TRIPLE stamped." Brian returned. "YOU CAN'T TRIPLE STAMP A DOUBLE STAMP!" Nick yelled. "You can't - Brian - you can't triple stamp a double stamp!" "I don't have to listen to this!" Brian screamed. "Nananannana!" "Brian!" Nick continued to try and make his point. "You can't -" "GUYS." Kevin interrupted. "Act your age!" Nick sat in silence for a moment. "Want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?" Without waiting for an answer - "NNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Brian joined in. "GUYS!" Kevin yelled again, reaching for his gun, then thinking better of it. He'd never find the briefcase if they were dead. "Can't we listen to the radio?" "Radio?" Nick asked. "Who needs a radio?" Brian added. "Ready?" Nick asked. "MAAAAAH." "KEEEEEEN!" "BIIIIRRRRD!" "YEAH!" "YEAH!" "YEAH!" "Oh look!" Nick glanced out the window. "There's some more people!" "Let's pick 'em up!" Brian pulled the van over again.- |
| : : : go to part 3 : : : |