Yet Another of E-slop's Phables

Soggy Cucumbers

Once upon a time a little boy was making a salad. When he reached for the cucumber, his hand got all covered in slime and yuck, because he had left his cucumber too long in the fridge. When he examined his hand again, he noticed that the wart he had always had on his left thumb was gone! The boy grew into a young man who took his knowledge of cucumber ick and developed it into a effective formula for removing warts. Fame and wealth was his for the length of his whole life, thanks to the intervention of a little green cucumber.

The Moral of This Phable Is:

Be nice to cucumbers and one day you could be rich.

Alternate Moral:

Alternate your stock of vegetables to ensure freshness.

Alternate Alternative Moral

This story is obviously fiction, due to the fact that the child is making himself a salad instead of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich; although the aforesaid may be more healthy, that is exactly the reason why the fictiousness of the story is so apparent because when was the last time a child under your care actually ate something healthy? Not too frequently I'd bet, and I know this for a fact because I myself was a child once; however hard this fact may be to fathom, I wasn't always the glamourous, attractive, mature person you are used to beholding now. Once upon a time, I was a young child as well, but we shan't get into that; we'll save it for another Phable, shall we? Yes, I thought so. Now getting back to the Phable in question: I think the moral in a concise and not altogether prolix means of stating it would be that the cucumber actually brought the young child happiness; although we don't know that he is happy with his wealth, but come now, which person has a lot of money to their name and is openly displeased with it? Not too many I think. So we say again: green vegetables can bring you health and wealth (God, I hate it when I rhyme) if you treat them properly which is definitely NOT leaving them to moulder in the fridge; this young child's story is clearly an exception and therefore it's hard to draw a clear deduction from it besides the fact that his wart WAS cleared up thanks to the slime of the green cucumber. Oh, and don't forget: if I had to choose between being nice to a potato and a cucumber I'd clearly choose a potato because the potatoes are far more omnipotent than cucumbers AND they don't have seeds! So, haha cucumbers! Potatoes far outrank you in the greatness category! Try how you might, the potatoes always conquer!

The End!

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