E-slop's Phables Continued

The Organic Carrots

Once upon a time there was a young lad living in England. From the time he was a mere child, he always felt the greatest detestation for organic carrots. Everyone thought he was just being picky, but he knew the true evil of these orange marauders, who lull human beings into a false sense of security by claiming to be 100% natural with no preservatives while what they really want is to be ingested by a great number of people so that they can enter their subconscious and take over the world!

When the lad was sufficiently strong and wise enough, he decided to launch a life-long, ruthless campaign against organic carrots, with the help of insecticide-drenched potatoes. Though it was a long, arduous under-taking beset by a great number of difficulties, after many visits to a local asylum, the young man had become a time-aged Organic War Veteran with myriads of stuffed carrots hanging on his walls as proof of his victories. In the end, the words that summed his endeavour up were the following famous quote: "I never could have done it without the tutu!"

The Moral of This Phable Is:

Organic carrots are evil.

Alternate Moral:

Potatoes rule!

Alternate Alternative Moral

Sometimes you have to undertake special adventures that no one else will and sometimes for doing so you will look like a first-class nut to society at large but if you're really saving the world in a subtle way (unlike Superman, you're doing your job quietly), it will be worth all the effort and then you can write Superman and call him all sorts of bad things because, the one thing that always ticked me off about him was how he got all the women's adulation for saving the world while there are millions of people out there now, literally saving the world, who don't even get a Christmas card or a "hello" when we pass them in the streets; Superman is an attention-seeking fraud who just wants to be praised, though I don't know how I didn't see this before; all those times I had to watch those stupid cartoons of Superman and even the movies and I never noticed what a first-class crook his is. What can I say? It must be an inspiration of the potatoes. They work in mysterious ways you know, like milk curdles. You can watch milk for weeks and weeks (trust me, I know) and it will never curdle until you look away. Then all of a sudden the heretofore clear milk is thick and clumpy. It's so weird! I think what actually happens is the little man who turns the fridge light on and off gets out of bed when I'm not looking and puts shaving cream into the milk..that's all I can think of. He's a sly fellow!

The End!

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