Once upon a time, a sweet, intelligent little girl of 10 was wearing nice starred pants. She also had a pet rooster. She did not intend that these pants and pet rooster should meet in an ear-shattering BROOOOOOCK upon her favourite chair, but that's what happened anyway.
......
Epilogue
The pants and pet were both ruined, resulting in a feathery, slimy mess upon the former and the latter being that mess.
You should keep pet roosters in the freezer like Erin does.
Don't wear nice pants when there's any chance of you soiling them, by sitting on a rooster or otherwise, because there's always the possibility of the unlikely happening, like when the Cowboys won Superbowl XXX and beat the Steelers which were my Dad's team which thereby gave me the bragging rights, priceless things they are, and never can be over-estimated because you see they never expire unlike cheap library cards but that doesn't really bother me anyway because our library is *BLEEP* and you can't find any good books there I'd like to read; only stuff for old folks like "How To Make Your Next Polka Party A Bell-Ringing Sucess" or "Denny's Dentures: A Retirement Home Saga" and actually that was rather cruel of me because old folks' homes are scary, because they're all left there out in the halls or something to vegetate and no one ever comes to visit them or writes them Christmas cards or anything so I guess it's kinda like "the room of no return" in a dog pound because you just go there and never see the sunlight or anything but the sunlight isn't that great all the time I guess because you can get really burnt and look like a crab and have to put up with rude people's remarks about them and sometimes I wish I wasn't the nice girl I was so I could just sock people in the mouths and I wonder why you can say "sock em in the mouth" but not "shoe em in the mouth"?
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Tipsy Rooster :_*