Amiboshi rolled in bed moaning for a while. He was tired. After all, he only had one hour's worth of sleep that night. He had laid awake thinking of what would ever happen to him and his beloved twin...
He forced himself up, and sat down on his bed cross-legged; absorbed in his thoughts. He had changed so much; not only in body but also in mind those past few years. Could this mission change me too? He thought. Enough thinking! He scolded himself. You must do this...you have gone through worse situa...his thoughts got lost for a while. He was just so afraid; almost like if he knew what all of this would bring on him and his brother. He stood up and stretched, picking up his clothes and fiddling with his shirts' sleeve. He slipped them on carelessly, which gave him a disheveled look. Suboshi woke up. Koutoku froze, he had hoped to be out of the room before his brother had awakened.
He heard him moan loudly.
"Ugh...Aniki? Is that you?"
Amiboshi swallowed hard.
"Yes Otooto, it is me..."
He walked slowly to where his half-naked brother lay and sat next to him, putting a reassuring hand on his warm face.
"Brother...He began not so sure of what to say next, I have been meaning to tell you this last night, but I figured it would be best to tell you now..."
Shunkaku looked at his brother trustingly, hanging on to every word he let out, like it was the word of Seiryuu. He took his brother's hand and brought it to his lips, kissing his brother's hand gently and holding on to it.
"Tell me then, aniki...what is it?"
"I...Amiboshi trailed off.
Suboshi quickly picked up that there was something bothering his brother. He sat up quickly and embraced him, gently accommodating his aniki's sweet head into his bare chest and stroking his hair gently.
"It's okay brother...It's okay. Just tell me."
"No I can't Shun chan... Amiboshi said between sobs. If I do, you will never forgive me..."
"Try me." Suboshi said smiling bitterly, almost as if he were sure of what was coming up.
Amiboshi looked up at his twin. He rubbed his eyes gently and sat up once more.
'Otooto, Nakago sama has sent me to sabotage the Suzaku seishis' summoning of Suzaku. I must leave this afternoon..."
"It's okay, I'll go with yo..." Amiboshi cut him off.
"Shunkaku, my love, you don't understand. It is I who has to go, not you. You have to stay. I wouldn't take you with me, even if Nakago sama wanted me to. You are just not prepared to face such a situation...You will get hurt, and that is the last thing I would want to happen to you. Besides, only one can go..."
"Aniki. Don't go then. Let me go instead of you."
"Nakago has chosen me. My seishi powers are much more developed than yours are. You are still new to this Shun chan..."
Suboshi felt hurt by this.
"Aniki, I'm strong enough, I can manage pretty well. Just let me go."
"No. You can't go. I am not going to let you put yourself in danger as you have done so many times..."
"I'm not letting you go! Aniki, don't take advantage of me. I love you. If you really love me, you would let me go instead of you..." The boy trailed off a little and put both his hands on his brother's shoulders, refusing to look at him. Finally he looked up. "Aniki...It's just that I am so afraid. I am afraid you won't be coming back to me.
Amiboshi blinked. He felt his brother's hands slowly slide off his shoulders. He caught one of them and clasped it tightly; rubbing it reassuringly as he pulled a fake smile. He then realized Shun chan was right. There was a great chance he could die, or never come back to him.
"If I truly loved you, I would go so you can at least learn a thing or two from Nakago's training! Please don't make this so difficult, Shun chan. Being your only brother, don't you think I too suffer seeing I am being torn apart from my brother for a while? Listen, I promise to return. You can most definitely count on that. It is a promise."
Suboshi didn't look convinced but nodded sadly anyway.
Amiboshi tilted his brother's chin up gently. He caressed his face with his rough hands gently brushing Suboshi's lips with his fingers. Suboshi looked up; a few tears clouded his sad gray eyes and a painful smile tugged on his moist lips. "Promise?" He whispered despondently.
Amiboshi brushed away a solitary tear that rolled down his younger brothers' cheek. "I promise." He responded. He pecked his Suboshi's tear stained cheek.
"I love you, Shunkaku."
I love you too, Anik..." Suboshi could not finish the sentence. His emotions were completely damaged and he broke into a mass of angry sobs and tears.
"Shhh...It's okay otooto. It's okay..." He pulled his brother closer into a passionate embrace and began to sing to him:
"Set my soul free, and let me fly like the eagle,
Free and strong and brave
Not fearing truth or life
Allow me to live
To breathe
To think
To feel
To trust
To love
Without fear..."
+++
Nakago stood motionless, his back to Tomo. Tomo did not dare look up to the beautiful shogun and kept his eyes glues to the rocky, uneven ground. He was feeling in a lively, cheery mood that morning. By nature, he was very talkative, but seeing that Nakago was most definitely not in a good mood, he thought it would be best to let him do all the talking. Nakago turned around unexpectedly and his long blonde hair shifted slightly as it gracefully accommodated itself on his left shoulder. He looked at Tomo fiercely with his piercing blue eyes. Tomo's legs began to quiver. He could have sworn to himself he would faint at that moment, but he kept control of his body and smiled gently at Nakago, willing to accept any order from his master. Tomo's troubled, amber colored eyes had nothing more than lust and desire in them; desire for Nakago...He desperately tried to look alert and conceal his secret lust for him but it was just hopeless. Nakago only sighed and waited for Tomo to finally settle down. He would not talk to him until he was out of his thoughts...It was useless to talk to Tomo when he was like this. He cleared his throat and threw Tomo a warning glance. The impatient bishounen stopped squirming nervously and made a severe effort to listen to what was that Nakago had to say to him. He leaned back against the chamber's cold walls and fiddled with the tip of his ponytail, a long, silky cascade of black hair. Nakago took a few steps forward towards Tomo and slammed his hand against the hard, stony wall. Tomo jumped and quickly looked up attentively at Nakago, a bit upset seeing Nakago in such a foul mood. Nakago pressed his firm hand on Tomo's smooth, cheek and ran his fingers quickly over his hair, untangling a few hairs, then quickly tossing it back in Tomo's face. Tomo shook his head quickly, tossing his hair back as he felt his face get hot. He felt Nakago's cold, sad blue eyes studying his features and he glanced up at the handsome soldier. He waited restlessly for Nakago's words to tumble out of his soft pale lips. One by one, the words fell from his mouth. "Being that I have known Suboshi for about one year, I know that it will be very difficult for him to say 'good-bye' to his brother...He is a weak, poor soldier, unlike Amiboshi, and it will be quite some time before he discovers the hidden power within him. I ask as a favor to me that you sleep with him and be of great comfort to Suboshi, for I know, Amiboshi won't be coming back..."
Tomo looked up immediately. How could Nakago ever do such a thing? Why on earth would he send Amiboshi out if he knew he was going to be killed? Nakago read his Tomo's thought and turned around as he quickly added: "You know Tomo how it is. There are times that you will have to offer...Nakago searched for a word. You will have to offer sacrifices for the sake of gaining greater glory and honour. And Amiboshi is our sacrifice." He ended simply. Tomo simply nodded sadly bowing low to Nakago and walked away silently letting Nakago's strong words sink in a little. "...I ask as a favor to me that you sleep with him and be of great comfort to Suboshi, for I know, Amiboshi won't be coming back..."
+++
Amiboshi left that afternoon. His brother was taking his usual afternoon nap and he just could not bring himself to disturb him. He just thought it would be best to let him sleep to forget about the parting. It would be so much easier for both of them. The last thing he did before he set foot outside the palace walls was stop by Nakago's chamber to take one last look at the man he detested greatly. He announced his departure apathetically and gave a final bow before his master. As he walked past his room, he glanced at his brother. He muttered a few good-byes and walked away, refusing to even as much so even look back once more at his room. He left Kutou numb, angry, with a heavy pain that burdened his wounded heart. He could have sworn his heart would break any moment, but such was the pain he held there, he felt number than heart broken...
He glanced up at Soi. There she stood, the warrior with red hair, neatly bound into a ponytail adjusted to the side. Soi, indeed was a beautiful youth. Her thin, small lips glistened in the sunlight. They were a perfect shade of red. Her hazel coloured eyes were carefully outlined with heavy black eye liner, making them really stand out, and in a way making them more piercing. But her beauty defied the type of woman she was. Soi was a rough, brute woman who was able to withstand hardship after hardship. Amiboshi never got to know Soi that well, and he lamented that. He wished he would have gotten to know the quiet woman better...
"Is something wrong, Amiboshi?" Soi asked the young boy quietly not looking at him as she adjusted the horse's reins. Amiboshi just stood there watching Soi make adorable little faces at the horse, running her smooth, creamy hands over the silky fur of the gorgeous beast. "It's okay boy, it's okay..." Soi smiled warmly at the horse, which gave her in return a friendly nudge. She giggled. Amiboshi had never seen Soi this way. He had always though of her as a hard woman with no feelings. A woman who was born to only "entertain" men with her precious body, someone who was meant to suffer...
"I asked you a question, now are you going to answer me or not?" Soi asked leading the horse towards Amiboshi. Amiboshi grunted as he pulled himself upwards to mount it. He ran his hands through the silky waves of the horse's raven black hair. "No." He responded looking down at Soi fiercely. "Hey, It's up to you kid. I'm not going to get offended. I just...I know how you feel." She ended simply. She patted the brown horse's cheek and then quickly mounted herself on a lovely white horse. She kicked the horse's side gently as a signal for it to go and off she galloped. "Get on with it, Amiboshi!" She yelled briskly as she disappeared from sight. Amiboshi rolled his eyes and did the same, riding away, down the bumpy hills and becoming nothing else but a distant silhouette against the glorious warmth of the afternoon sun.
+++
Tomo advanced Suboshi's room and sat on his bed. His dexterous fingers ran over the threadbare quilt, plucking a few threads here and there and flicked conspicuous pieces of lint that stubbornly were adhered to the cloth. He looked at Suboshi, as he lay huddled in bed, wrapping both the quilt and his arms protectively around his shoulders. Tomo studied the pretty little creature with his piercing amber colored eyes as he sat closer to him. He noticed a deep, ugly crease between his bushy, slender eyebrows. Suboshi was tense in his sleep, gritting his teeth furiously and mumbling choppy, incoherent sentences. He pushed the quilt down and turned around, giving his back to Tomo. "The boy is probably dreaming..." Tomo wondered as he rose and picked up Suboshi's clothing, scattered all over the floor. He tossed them over at the foot of his bed and leaned over to take a good look at the boy. He noticed Suboshi's bare neck. He traced the soft curve of the sleeping boy's body with is eyes and got exited. Just seeing Suboshi's exposed neck reminded him there was more skin, more body...It reminded him that the boy was naked. He shivered as he pushed the thought away from his mind. Here he was, fantasizing about a 15-year-old boy....who just so happened to be pretty....
"Oi!" Tomo yelled out as he smacked his forehead in frustration. He was lusting after a 15-year-old! He had always preferred older men, but why was he getting so exited with Suboshi? He let out a heavy sigh. He knew he liked to tease Amiboshi by giving him flirtatious looks and maybe once in a while touch him, but with Suboshi it was different. He actually had...no. He did not want to admit it to himself he had some kind of sympathy for the boy. No. It was not love, for he never knew the meaning of it, but it wasn't passion either. His infatuous teenage years had come to an end long ago. He came to the conclusion it was nothing but lust. But no! It was not even that! He had...feelings for the boy. Yet, he did not know what kind of feelings...Not yet. As Tomo turned to leave, he heard what sounded like muffled sobs. Suboshi was crying...
+++
Suboshi ran beautifully. His feet scraped the muddy ground leaving behind messy, not well defined foot-prints.
The rain splashed against his sweaty brow, and trickled down his face. His moist tongue ran across his thin dry lips to keep them from cracking. Small waves of pain rippled from his abdomen and down. Suboshi strained his eyes and tried to endure the pain he felt on his waist. He had been running for about an hour in the rain, and his body was exhausted and pleading to him to take a break. Suboshi could feel his heart pounding violently in his ears and his lungs burning. He forced himself to breathe the hot, humid air to feed his lungs as he pushed himself forward. He already felt that he was lousing momentum and that he was not able to keep up the pace he once used to be. The muscles in his legs rebelled against his stubborn mind and refused to work.
Suboshi tripped and fell into a muddy puddle. His eyes closed then slowly opened them again. His chin was surrounded in dirty, muddy water and his long brownish-green hair was stuck to his forehead mixed with both the rain and his own sweat.
He forced himself to get up, but he immediately collapsed. He lost contact with all of his body for about one second as he tried to organize the millions of thoughts that perturbed his mind. He felt just so dizzy, and he thought it would be better if he could give himself some time to recuperate. He panted ferociously and a grim smile spread across his dirty face.
He lifted his face just slightly to find his ryuusesui. He found it lying there; lifeless surrounded by the small body of water. All he had to do is just move his arm slightly to make all his body go on fire. He forced himself to ignore his body's desire and stretched his hand out to reach it. He strained his face and gritted his teeth as he reached out further. He blacked out. The boy immediately found himself imprisoned in a dark room. He saw the many familiar people who have walked in and out of in life. They were all friends, whom all were dead. How did he end up here? From exercising in the rain to a prison corpses of his beloved friends? He desperately rummaged through the dead bodies in hopes of maybe finding his mother or his brother...But wait. Aniki wasn't dead...was he? He caught sight of a motherly woman dying. He studied the horrendous creases on the woman's face deepen as she winced and moaned in pain. It was his mother...
"Moma! Moma! It's me...Shun chan. Moma? Are you okay? Moma! Answer me!"
He desperately shook his mother, trying to wake her up. The woman drew her hand towards his face and gave him an injured look. "My son..." Was all she was able to say before she permanently closed her eyes and the darkness ate her away into nothing but a pile of bones.
A pair of rough hands grabbed him from behind. "You must pay!" The hoarse voice whispered into his ear.
"But sir, I have money...Surely you will take it. Please, it's all I have..." Suboshi looked at the man with frightened eyes.
"It's not enough! Who do you think I am kid? I won't tolerate impossible brats like you." He felt the man get hold of him from behind and slump him against the grimy, rocky floor. He screamed, but the man held his mouth shut. In a fit anger, he bit the man, sinking his teeth into his rough hand. The man hit his head, knocking him semiconscious. Suboshi could not even moan as he felt the man enter him. Tears accumulated at the corners of his eyes and rolled down his cheeks...Crying was all he could do as this monster raped him. He then felt himself being pulled into the comforting arms of someone. He looked up weakly only to see the scarred face of his brother. He too, was hurt. But the comforting did not last for long. Eventually, Amiboshi disappeared. Leaving him all alone, still hurt, still uncomforted, and his face, still drenched with blood and tears...
+++
"Suboshi..."
Suboshi was immediately pulled out of his nightmare. However, his eyes remained shut.
"What a hard, yet soft voice...Who could it belong to?" The boy thought for a while.
Cold, delicate fingers brushed against Suboshi's burning cheek. He shivered against the touch, and quickly turned his face aside wanting to avoid it.
He moved slightly, moaning softly and then slumping back hard down on the bed. He finally opened his eyes to gaze upon the beautiful stranger who lay beside him. The room looked very familiar being it was his own, but the young man certainly didn't. He had small amber colored eyes and long, silky black hair all tied back by a dark coloured ribbon. He sat by his side with his eyes closed, hanging his head down. Suboshi stole glances at this strange young man. He raised his hand to touch his black hair. He was only able to brush his hand gently against it before the man picked up his movements and looked up. Suboshi flinched and cast his eyes aside quickly. The young man's amber eyes were bold and daring, not to mention piercing. He felt his face get warm and he blushed in embarrassment.
"Suboshi are you okay?" Tomo asked.
Suboshi brought his hand upwards to rub his eyes. They were wet on the sides and there were ugly streaks running down his cheeks. He had been crying in his sleep...
"Who are you?" He asked huskily. He pushed the covers aside, not caring if he was naked in front of this...stranger. He reached over to get his clothes. He threw them on quickly, not taking his time to adjust his orange tunic properly.
As Tomo watched the youth dress and introduced himself, keeping his eyes busy on something else.
"I am Seiryuu Schichi Seishi Tomo."
"Egh, well nice to meet you freak. Now may I ask what the fuck are you doing here?"
Tomo blushed. He was a bit upset. He had expected Suboshi to be somewhat like Amiboshi, but he was totally the opposite. Funny, how the boys' beauty was a total contrast with his personality. "How defying", he thought quietly.
He was a bit angered, seeing his pride insulted by such a weakling...He caught hold of Suboshi's arm and pulled him over, close to him. Suboshi turned his face aside, refusing to look at him. Tomo hit the boy's face, sending it flying backwards. Suboshi was a bit frightened, but he refused to show it to him.
"Didn't your stupid mother ever teach you to respect your elders? Eh? Now that I come to think of it, you really have no manners, being you never had a mother, but a bitch instead..."
Suboshi tore his arm away from Tomos' grip.
"Don't talk about my mother that way."
"Listen brat...I don't like you one bit, but still I am willing enough to be your guardian while your brother is away. So be grateful."
"I can manage taking care of myself, Suboshi lied. I don't need your help or anybody's!"
As Suboshi began to walk away, Tomo blocked the exit with his arm, grabbing the boy's upper arm fiercely. Suboshi pushed forward ignoring the bite of Tomo's grip, almost knocking Tomo over.
He ran away, running past the dismal halls, then finally shielding himself behind a pillar. His hands brushed over the cool, firmness of the precious stone...He pressed his hot cheek against it and closed his eyes. He felt his breath return to it's normal pace although his heart still pumped violently.
"Be grateful..." Suboshi whispered. Yeah, well I would be more than grateful if only I could be back once more with the company of the ones I loved..." He thought.
"Oh yes Seiryuu Sama! I am very grateful...Grateful to be torn away from Aniki."
"I am grateful." He said sarcastically as a smile spread across his face. But if he was smiling, then why were angry tears gushing out of his eyes?