"Rebuilding a Broken Heart"
by Schannon Love

Since I’ve been in college, I’ve had quite a few "miscellaneous" relationships that have ended in disappointment. However, to have your heart broken is entirely another experience. To have your heart broken means that you’ve exposed yourself in the most vulnerable ways to someone you perceived as worthy. Personally, to have my heart broken means that I’ve allowed my heart’s protective barrier to not only be penetrated, but to be torn down completely.

Broken hearts, many times, result in broken spirits, and your spirit is what characterizes your personality and the functions of your mind. A broken spirit makes us question areas in our life we once thought were secure and stable. We subconsciously find ourselves asking "Why?" when there’s really no logical explanation. Those of us who have encountered broken hearts must go through a reconstructive period, piecing back together our lives, our identities, our perceptions, and our independence.

A dear friend of mine was plagued with a broken heart, and all I could do was offer her words of encouragement. It was not my place, or anyone else’s place as a friend, to criticize her and the choices she had made in her relationship. Though it is hard to avoid being judgmental when a loved one has been hurt, it was my responsibility as a friend to let her grieve in her own way. All I could do was offer my ear to listen, my shoulder on which she could lean and cry, and my encouraging words with hopes of enlighten her darkness. This is what I wrote her:

Know yourself, love yourself, and appreciate yourself.

Don’t internalize other people’s faults into your perception of self. Capitalize on your abilities and continue to shine like the star that you are. Don’t allow your surface to become dull with bitterness when your radiance has served as a guiding light for so many others.

Come to the realization that "Why?" is a rhetorical question.

It is not for you to answer. Love is not logical. Love is not rational. Answers that seem nonexistent mysteriously become evident over time.

Take time to hear.

Take time to analyze and evaluate. Take time to define yourself as an individual. Don’t let an unfortunate twist of fate regulate the unlimited assets you possess.

Be a diamond in the rough.

Be the color purple standing out from all others. Be a woman among girls. Be love and all that it has to offer. Be you and be comfortable with you.

You are a prize, a gift from God. Accept your significance, and don’t allow the benefits reaped from your essence to be taken for granted. You are love, and don’t ever forget it. Dedicated to Tamesha Murray.